Beware, for this is a parody fanfic.
And it wants your applesauce.
It was a normal day for Erik. He was sitting in a corner and cutting himself. Why did everyone hate him!! Why couldn't he just be like everyone else?! When would it end?! Ever since Christine, Erik's life had been nothing short of a horrible spiral of anguish and depression! Nobody could help him! Nobody could ever love him! Why was life so unfair?!
Erik stood up and then began to roll about on the floor crying.
"OH GOD! WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME TO ROT ON THIS EARTH?! I WISH A WOMAN WOULD LOVE ME!!" Erik screamed.
Meanwhile at Princess Anne-Kire-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuuka DeLovella the third...
"Oh! This opera house is so beautiful! Now my thousands of servants, allow me to dazzle you all with my amazing singing voice!" Said Princess Anne-Kira-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuka Delovella the third.
The thousands of servants all gasped and started clapping and cheering until she silenced them. So instead they just waited eagerly to hear her amazing singing voice.
Princess Anne-Kire-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuka DeLovella the third opened up her mouth and what came from it was nothing short of the most beautiful thing any of her servants had ever heard. In fact, it was so beautiful that words could not possibly describe it. All the servants began crying and throwing their arms in the air.
Suddenly, Princess Anne-Kire-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuka DeLovella the third's eye's began to change colour. Her beautiful long hair began to fly everywhere as if she was trapped in a horrid whirlwind of pain and confusion!
She then fainted, hit her head against a brick wall and fell through a seeeecret trap door! Her servants tried to save her, but alas! They were too late!!
Meanwhile at Erik...
Erik began to walk down the hallway crying and sobbing to himself and wishing that he could have a girlfriend...When suddenly, he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life!
"Normally I wouldn't care about how someone looks, considering that I'm a hideously deformed freak! However, this chick is just so HAWT that I must have sex with her right now!" Erik Proclaimed.
After sex, Princess Anne-Kire-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuka DeLovella the third woke up and looked at Erik.
"I love you so much sweety! But I have to tell you something..."
Erik looked worried, "What is it my angel? Are you hurt?!" he asked.
Princess Anne-Kire-Sapphire-Leona-Jasmine-Yuka DeLovella the third smiled warmly.
"No...I'M PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS!" She screamed.
"That's great!" Erik laughed.
After that, they made out until they both dropped dead.