"Bellamy and I are going to the movies. Do you want to come?" Clarke asks Raven, who's curled up on the couch in her sweatpants.
"I would, but I have the worst period pain right now. I think I'm dying," Raven groans. Clarke grimaces. "Chances are you'll be dying too in a few hours."
"Fuck, has it been a month already? I feel like I just had my period."
After living together for over a year, Clarke's cycle has actually synced up with Raven's. Raven is on the pill, and Clarke isn't—she doesn't like what it does to her body—so Clarke usually relies on Raven to tell her when they're both due.
"Sometimes I just want to get pregnant so I won't have to do this for nine months."
"Don't talk like that. You're just giving it what it wants. Also, there is no way Murphy is ready for a kid," Clarke snorts.
"Trust me, neither am I," Raven says. She groans again, clutching her stomach.
"Do you need anything?" Clarke asks.
"Just the usual stuff," Raven says. Tampons, painkillers, chocolate. They'll probably spend tonight stuffing their faces and crying over a dumb romcom. Their respective boyfriends, Finn and Murphy, will be keeping their distance most likely. Men are ridiculous like that.
Clarke gives Raven a sympathetic look, grabs her keys and heads out to meet Bellamy. She texts Finn as she walks around the corner to Bellamy's place.
Hey babe. Raincheck for tonight? It's that time of the month.
She doesn't technically have her period yet, but she's going to get it within the next day. If she's being honest, she's glad to have a reason to cancel their date. Not because she doesn't want to spend time with him, but because he'll expect her to get all dressed up and she doesn't think she can be bothered tonight.
She rings Bellamy's doorbell, and it's only half a second before he's out the door, like he'd been standing there waiting for her.
"Someone's excited," Clarke laughs.
"Clarke, you've been promising me you would see this movie with me for weeks now. I'm not giving you another chance to back out," he says. He locks his front door and they begin their walk to the cinema.
"I'm sorry, okay! I've just been busy."
Bellamy gives her a sidelong glance. He doesn't say it, but she knows what he's thinking. With Finn. He's made it no secret that he hates the guy, even though Clarke has been dating him for almost six months now. Clarke has never asked Bellamy why he hates her boyfriend, and he's never offered up the information. Part of her suspects that if Bellamy told her his reasons, he'd get into her head and ruin her relationship. And she likes Finn. That's all that matters.
"It's okay," Bellamy shrugs. He's always so quick to forgive her. "You're here now. I suppose you and Finn have plans for tonight though?"
"Actually, I just cancelled. Why?"
Bellamy raises an eyebrow at her. "I don't have anything planned. Thought you might like to hang out."
"Oh. Well, Raven and I—"
"I'm sorry," Bellamy interrupts. "You cancelled plans with the magnificent Finn?" he asks incredulously. "Trouble in paradise?"
"No," Clarke says adamantly. Bellamy looks a little too pleased for her liking. "I just didn't feel like going out tonight."
"You could just stay in."
"Finn doesn't like staying in. He gets bored. And he like to… I don't know," Clarke sighs. "Show me off, or something."
Bellamy coughs something under his breath that sounds a lot like douchebag. Clarke glares at him.
"Besides," Clarke continues. "Raven and I are having our monthly pity party."
"Sounds fun. Can I come?"
"You know what monthly pity party means, right?"
"Period party?"
"Yeah. Except without the partying. Still want to come?"
"It's not contagious, is it?" Bellamy jokes. Clarke shoves him playfully. "I'm not afraid of women on their periods, Clarke," Bellamy rolls his eyes. "But if you guys want to be alone, it's cool."
"We do."
Bellamy shrugs. "Okay. I guess I'll just play video games all night. Or maybe I'll finish that book I've been reading."
"Thrilling."
"Says the girl having a period party."
"You aren't supposed to antagonise women who are on their period, you know?" Clarke scowls.
Bellamy laughs. "I'll buy you popcorn to make up for it. Deal?"
"Deal."
After the movie, and stopping at the grocery store for supplies, Bellamy walks Clarke home. They pick at every little detail of the movie, despite having mostly enjoyed it. He pulls her into a hug at her door, and Clarke breathes him in, feeling comforted. He gives the best hugs. He pulls away, his hands brushing her waist and arms unnecessarily before they drop to his sides.
"Have fun bleeding out of your vagina," Bellamy says, just to make it weird.
"Don't be gross," Clarke says. She pokes her tongue out at him. Bellamy shakes his head, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins.
"See you later, Clarke."
Clarke is still smiling to herself as she lets herself into the house. She heads straight for the lounge room, ready to throw the plastic bag full of chocolate and sanitary products at Raven, only to find it's not Raven lying on the couch. It's Murphy.
"Murphy?" Clarke frowns in confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Clarke," he rolls his eyes.
"Sorry. Where's Raven?"
"Bathroom. Did you bring painkillers? Because I forgot."
Clarke eyes him, still confused. "You have a headache or something?"
Murphy looks at her like she's an idiot. "For Raven, dumbass. I also don't think she's a fan of the brand of tampons I got because she threw them at my head."
"I apologised for that!" Raven says, entering the room. She walks back over to the couch, collapsing on top of Murphy. He groans. "I really do appreciate that you tried. You'll do better next time."
"You bought Raven tampons?" Clarke says dumbly. Finn would never do that. The mention of the word period grosses him out. He doesn't even like it when she says it's that time of the month.
"She said she had her period," he shrugs. "I was trying to be helpful."
"Wow, Murphy, you're all grown up," Clarke smirks. "What about all the other times she had her period while you guys have been together?"
"It took me a while to figure out the code."
"Code?"
"Raven always just says it's shark week. I thought she meant literal sharks."
Clarke snorts. "God. I suppose you're joining us tonight then?"
"Aren't you lucky?" Murphy says. Clarke rolls her eyes. She does actually like Murphy, though he can be a bit of a dick sometimes. But she'd kind of been hoping for a girls' night.
Raven and Murphy start making out, and Clarke takes that as her cue to leave the room. She heads to the bathroom, turning her phone on as she goes. She'd turned it off before the movie started and forgot to turn it on until this moment. She has a message from Finn. She pulls down her panties, sits on the toilet and opens the message.
TMI, babe. Next week, tho xx.
Clarke is fairly underwhelmed by the message. She checks her underwear. Nothing. Checks the toilet paper after she wipes. Nothing. Not that she wants her period. It's just annoying to know it's coming and she wants to get it over with.
Back in the lounge room, Raven and Murphy have stopped kissing, but now they're spooning as they watch TV, and that's almost worse.
"You know what, I think I'm going to let you two have some alone time," Clarke says. Then she calls Bellamy.
Three days later, Clarke still hasn't gotten her period, and she's starting to panic. She and Finn always use protection when they have sex, but of course she knows it's not always foolproof. Speaking of Finn, she's barely heard from him in the last couple of days. He hasn't stopped posting on Instagram though. Then again, she hasn't really contacted him either, and he's probably just waiting for her to say the coast is clear.
Except she's not sure the coast is clear. She hasn't told Raven that her period is late. Mostly because it's probably nothing. It's probably just stress or something. But she wants to buy a pregnancy test anyway because there's a chance she's pregnant, and if she is, she kind of wants to know about it.
As she stands there in the aisle staring at the different brands, she gets a little overwhelmed. Until now, she hasn't let herself think about what might actually happen if the test turns out to be positive. But she can't even figure out which pregnancy test to choose, let alone all the decisions she'll have to make if she has a baby. If she were choosing a test for Raven, this would be easy. But it's for her.
She grabs a packet of the shelf and tries to read it. The words swim in front of her, and her chest grows tight. She can't breathe. Tears prick the corners of her eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she's aware she might be having a panic attack. She tries to take a deep breath. She drops the box she's holding and hurries from the store before anyone can see her having a nervous breakdown in aisle four.
Out on the street, she stops, trying to calm herself down. She manages to get her breathing back to normal. She should just go back in and grab whichever test is the cheapest. But she's afraid if she does, she'll just have another panic attack. Instead she starts walking, and her feet know where she's going before her brain does.
She rings Bellamy's doorbell, and he doesn't even look surprised to see her. He does look concerned though, when she bursts into tears in front of him.
"Clarke?" he says hesitantly, already pulling her into his arms. "What's wrong?"
"I'm late," she sobs.
"What do you mean?"
"My period. I was meant to get it when Raven did, the other day. But it hasn't come yet. What if I'm—" she breaks off into another round of sobs.
"Hey, hey," Bellamy says softly, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay. Come inside." He breaks the hug, though Clarke is reluctant to let go. He pulls her inside, shutting the door behind her, then leads her to the living room. He sits on the couch and Clarke curls up next to him, burying her face into his shoulder.
"Did you take a test?" he asks her.
"I went to buy one but I couldn't. I freaked out."
"You want me to go and get you one?"
"I don't want you to go."
Bellamy kisses the top of her head, and her insides turn to jelly. "I won't be long, I promise. It's better to know, right?"
Clarke nods, and Bellamy gets up, leaving her to wallow while he goes out to get her a pregnancy test. He's not gone long, and then he's back, a little rectangular box in his hands. Clarke's stomach churns. She feels like she's going to vomit.
She gets up off the couch, and Bellamy takes her hand, squeezing tightly. He doesn't let go until they get to the bathroom. He opens the box, takes out the test and hands it to Clarke, then reads the instructions out loud.
"So basically, pee on the stick, then wait."
"Pee on the stick then wait," Clarke repeats. "I can do that."
Bellamy looks at her, uncertain. "Are you sure—are you sure you want me with you? Do you want me to call Finn?"
"No," Clarke shakes her head vehemently. "I want you."
Bellamy swallows thickly. "Okay." He makes for the door. "I'll be right out here. Call me if you need me." Clarke nods, and watches him until he's out of the room, the door shut behind him. Clarke swallows, eyeing the test like it might blow up in her hand. She takes a deep breath, pulls down her pants and underwear, and sticks the test between her legs.
"Let's get this over with," she mutters. Once the deed is done, she pulls her pants back up and sits on the lid of the toilet, setting an alarm on her phone to tell her when she can check the test again. She puts it on the counter next to the sink so she doesn't have to look at it before it's ready to give her an answer.
"Bellamy," she calls. She had been weirdly calm when faced with the task of simply peeing on a stick. But now that she's minutes away from finding out whether or not she's pregnant, she's feeling sick again. Terrified.
Bellamy opens the door, and Clarke holds her hand out to him, needing his strength and support. He grabs her hand tightly, sitting down on the tiles at her feet. "You okay?" he asks. Clarke shakes her head. "You want to talk about it?"
Clarke shrugs. "I just—I'm not ready for a baby, you know? I still have so much to do before that."
"Clarke," Bellamy says, serious. "If you are pregnant. I hope you know I'm going to be with you every step of the way. Whatever you choose to do."
Clarke feels herself tearing up again. She nods, sniffling. "I know."
"Are you sure you don't want to call Finn? Not for his sake, but for yours."
Clarke shakes her head. She doesn't want to bother Finn with this. It will only freak him out. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Sure. You want me to tell you about the book I just read?"
"Uh huh," she nods. Bellamy launches into a description of the book, stopping midsentence when the alarm on Clarke's phone goes off to tell her it's been three minutes. Clarke grips his hand tighter, and they both turn their eyes to the test, where it sits face down on the edge of the sink.
"You ready?" Bellamy asks.
Clarke lets out a shaky breath. "I guess so." She picks up the test and flips it over. Negative. She sags in relief.
"Well?" Bellamy prompts. Clarke shakes her head, tearing up again, god knows why.
"It's negative," she tells him. "I'm not pregnant."
"That's great, right?" Bellamy says. Clarke nods, tossing the used test into the trash. She wraps her arms around Bellamy sliding off the toilet seat to her knees. She's smiling, the relief really washing over her now.
"Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you for being here for me."
"Of course," Bellamy murmurs back.
"We should get pizza to celebrate," Clarke decides.
"Okay," Bellamy chuckles.
Half an hour later they're sprawled on his bed watching Netflix and eating pizza. Clarke has practically forgotten about her pregnancy scare already. The episode they're watching ends, and Bellamy hits the pause button so the next episode won't play.
"Clarke, can I ask you something?" he says.
"Yeah, sure."
"You don't have to answer, but I'm just curious… why did you come to me? Why not your boyfriend? The potential father of your baby?"
Clarke swallows. "Please, Bellamy. If I had been pregnant, and decided to keep it, there's no way Finn would be the one helping me raise the baby."
"You think he would have taken off?"
Clarke shrugs. "Probably. But also—I don't think I'd want to raise a kid with him. He'd be an awful father. Not like you." If Bellamy notices the subtle and accidental implication that she wants him to be the father of her children, he doesn't comment on it. Clarke ducks her head to hide her blush. "Why do you hate him so much anyway?" she asks hurriedly, before Bellamy can notice what she's said.
"Are you seriously asking me?"
"Yes."
"Clarke, I mean—isn't it obvious? He's not good enough for you. He won't touch you or go near you if you have your period. He likes to dress you up and show you off, but doesn't actually like spending time with you. He'd run in the opposite direction if he found out you were pregnant. You deserve so much better than that," Bellamy huffs.
Clarke chews her lip. She's never sat down and listed all the things she dislikes about Finn before, but when Bellamy lays it all out like that, she knows he's right. Finn is a shit boyfriend. But Bellamy isn't even done.
"Plus, when you guys first started dating, he told me to stop being friends with you," Bellamy snorts. Clarke sits up at that, shocked.
"He did? That bastard! Why?"
Bellamy rolls his eyes. "Probably because he knew that if he asked you to stop being friends with me, you'd have dumped him right then and there."
"That's not what I meant. I meant why doesn't he want us to be friends? And why didn't you tell me right away?"
Bellamy opens his mouth, then shuts it again. He shrugs. "I guess he thought… he thought maybe I was in love with you. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think it was true."
Clarke stares at him. Her heart is beating faster, like it could actually be true. Like maybe she wants it to be true.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Bellamy says quietly.
"It's fine, Bell, I get it," Clarke sighs. "But you could have saved me a lot of time if you'd just told me at the start."
Bellamy's eyes dart to hers sharply. "What do you mean?"
"Well, obviously I have to break up with him."
"You do?" he asks, sceptically. Like he can't quite believe she was so easy to convince. Clarke can't even remember right now what she liked about Finn in the first place.
"You were right. I deserve better."
"I know."
"I deserve someone who likes hanging out with me. Who isn't scared of a challenge. Who's there for me no matter what. Someone who loves me."
Bellamy swallows. Does he know she's talking about him? "I'm sure you'll find someone like that."
"Bellamy—"
"Don't say anything else until it's over with him," Bellamy says softly. Clarke's eyes widen. Her heart thrums.
"Okay," she says. She gets up off the bed and grabs her phone. She should do this in person, probably. It's what a decent person would do. But she's too impatient to wait, and she's not sure Finn deserves any decency anyway. She wonders if he'll even care.
Bellamy sits up, eyes wide as he watches her dial Finn's number.
"Hey, babe, what's up?" Finn asks. Clarke pulls the phone from her ear and puts Finn on speaker so that Bellamy can hear.
"Finn," Clarke says. "I'm sorry to do this over the phone, but I wasn't sure when I'd be able to see you. I think we should break up."
"What?" Finn says. "Where is this coming from?"
"I just don't think we're right for each other. I don't like how you treat me."
"How I treat you?" Finn repeats. "I treat you great!"
Clarke huffs. "Even if that were true. It doesn't matter. It's over."
"Come on, Clarke. Don't be like that. You're just in a bad mood because it's that time of the month."
"No, Finn. I don't want to be with you. I'm in love with someone else."
Clarke doesn't look at Bellamy. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Hadn't meant to admit it yet.
Finn is silent for a moment before he says, "Bellamy?"
Clarke finally looks at Bellamy. He's watching her with baited breath. "Yes."
"Fucking hell, I knew that asshole was trying to steal you from me. I'm going to—"
Clarke hangs up the phone and throws it onto the bed. Bellamy gets to his knees, and Clarke falls to hers on the bed in front of him.
"Did you mean that?" he asks. "Or were you just trying to piss him off?"
"I meant it. I was hoping you might feel the same?"
Bellamy grins. "Yes, Clarke. And I'm going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated."
"I know," Clarke laughs. Bellamy kisses her then, and things just seem to click in to place. Things are perfect, for a few minutes, when they fall onto the bed, wrapped in each other, unable to separate their lips from one another. Until Clarke feels a stabbing pain in her abdomen.
She groans, clutching her stomach, pulling away from Bellamy.
"What's wrong?" he asks, worried.
"Just my body confirming that I'm not pregnant," Clarke says. "Not to cash in on girlfriend privileges so soon, but do you think you could go back to the store and get me a few things?"
Bellamy looks delighted at the use of the word girlfriend. "As your boyfriend, nothing would make me happier."