Title: Trial and Error
Type: Alternate Universe. Kinda crack!fic-ish. Possible OOCness… maybe.
Genre: Humor (I hope. I'm extremely bad at writing it.) Mild romance.
Summary: Sesshoumaru never loses bets. So when Inuyasha bets Sesshoumaru could never make it on MTV's NEXT, our demon lord is determined to prove him wrong. Starring Kagura, Kagome, Rin, Inuyasha, and Kikyou.
Dedication: To insert name here, because I've tried and tried, but I just can't come up with a good SessRin angst plot. When I do, of course, that will also be dedicated to you. :3
Notes: I was watching the show and laughing about how shallow people are, and then I just started picturing it with the InuYasha characters. So I'm not exactly sure on the rules, but I hope I get this right. In chapter 3 of this I use the phrase, 'Pun totally intended'. I'm sure I read that in a fic somewhere, and I in no way claim it as my own.
Ignore the end of this story, it sucks…
)-(
The air was unusually cool for summer in Osaka, and it made Inuyasha's skin crawl. He hated when things weren't as they should be. It put him on edge, made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and all that jazz. And even worse, Kouga was back in town. As the cold air pressed against his skin, making his nose turn red and fingers twitch, in his mind all he could see was that dirty wolf flirting with his Kagome. It was sickening, really.
Inuyasha tapped his feet against the sidewalk edge, eyeing the people who passed by suspiciously. "Damn it, Sesshoumaru, where are you…" Inuyasha knew for a fact it didn't take long to lock an office door and leave a building. His ear twitched, eyes narrowing. Probably flirting with the secretaries again, he mused, jackass.
The hanyou growled lightly, "What the hell is taking so long-"
"It's scarcely been five minutes," a cool baritone interrupted from behind, "Unless you've forgotten how to tell time, little brother." Sesshoumaru appeared beside him, smug smirk in place, but his tie… his tie was another story.
You see, anyone who knows the president of Taishou Corporation knows he does not take appearance lightly. He arrived and left with his suit unwrinkled and orderly, shoes shined, every hair in place. And sometimes, well, it was just downright creepy how perfect he always seemed to be when it came to things like that. If you're into womanly men, anyway, Inuyasha added with a silent grin.
And to get right to the point, Sesshoumaru's tie was – dare he mention it? Sesshoumaru's tie was just slightly askew, bending lightly and positioned just a hairsbreadth to the left. This of course, meant one thing. The company was probably going to get slapped with another sexual harassment charge.
Why the hell women seemed so easily seduced by the older demon was beyond him, but he knew it never meant anything good for the woman in question. Ever. Inuyasha looked away, staring into the suddenly very interesting congested street. "Keh, I don't think we can afford for you to keep doing this, Miroku's bad enough."
Sesshoumaru frowned, and looked almost offended. "Are you comparing this Sesshoumaru to that pervert?"
"You go through women fast enough."
"Hn."
"Then again," the half-demon realized aloud, "you never keep 'em, do you?"
The demon narrowed his gaze. "I-"
"I guess everyone's got to get tired of you eventually," Inuyasha continued, beginning to smile now, "no one can stand your arrogant, pompous ass all the time."
"You-"
"I mean," he laughed, deliberately not allowing his brother the chance to defend himself, "What was that one chick's name? Insert ice panther's name here… yea, she left you after just half a month, didn't she? I bet they only date you in the first place for the money. You definitely don't have any other appeals."
"Perhaps it is I who tires of their company?" Sesshoumaru proposed bitterly, to which Inuyasha gave a sharp laugh that nearly made him wince.
"You'd never get a girl to go out with you didn't have green coming out of your pockets."
"I beg to differ," he sniffed.
Inuyasha grinned, thoroughly enjoying himself at his brother's expense. "You know what? Sango does the selections for this show, NEXT. The person gets to test five contestants or whatever, and if the person finds one they like," he looked away from the stop light and to Sesshoumaru's face, "the contestant gets to chose between another date or money."
"You're serious?" He quirked a brow. Did such senseless things truly exist? No wonder society was crumbling.
"Keh, Kagome makes me watch it all the time."
"This Sesshoumaru would never be seen on such a-"
"I bet you just know they'd rather have the money."
The Taishou brothers, of course, did not like each other. Tolerated each other's company, yes, but like each other? It was more just one of those 'never have, never will' things. But both brothers took the words "I Bet" very seriously. Because it was a challenge, and the Taishou brothers never backed down from a challenge.
Sesshoumaru stared down at the bemused hanyou, and nearly snarled when he saw the cheerful expression. This was when he chose between Just Walk Away and Teach That Filthy Hanyou His Place (this one could also be alternated with Slam Hanyou's Face Into Nearest Hard Surface). Of course, being Sesshoumaru Taishou, he chose the later.
"I bet," he growled back, "you're wrong."
)-(
The bus was large enough, yet all five contestants squirmed to fit on the small couch-like seat. A black-haired man waited until they were situated before speaking. "Hello, girls-"
"Excuse me?!"
"Of course. Hello girls and guy, I'm Naraku and if you need anything I'm the one to call for. The show is about to begin," he motioned to the white-haired boy standing behind the camera, "and Hakudoushi here will let you know when there's a minute left until we begin filming. Any questions?"
"Why the hell am I here?" A man's voice grumbled.
Naraku smirked, "We thought it would add drama."
"Bastard."
"Anyway, you'll be up first."
"Fucking great."
)-(
Sesshoumaru stood beneath the sun, bored. He watched the woman behind the camera count down with her fingers. Five, four, three, two, one.
He took a deep breath, a tried not to scowl. "I'm Sesshoumaru Taishou, and I want a girl to win a bet."
"CUT!"
The demon glared at Naraku. "Is there a problem?" He demanded coldly.
Naraku swung his hands up in a wide arc above his head, "Say something nice! Like, 'I need a girl who can appreciate-'" he ran a hand down the length of his body, "'this!'"
"Indeed..." Sesshoumaru muttered, rather disturbed at the sight.
"Yes. Now… action."
"I need a girl," he said through grit teeth, "who can appreciate-" and here he flicked his wrist, "this."
"Cut! Good enough. Try a sexier voice next time. Now, bring out the first contestant."
A blanked-eyed boy nodded slowly, tone deadpan. "Yes, Master Naraku."