All disclaimer/story information is at the bottom of this chapter.
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It was as if time stood still.
The air quivered around the actors frozen in their frantic dance for survival. In the perception of a moment, Harry saw Sirius stagger backwards into the center of the room. Around him, shadows caroused and flashes of light were thrown venomously back and forth between the Order and the Death Eaters. A cry attempted to free itself from Harry's throat as his godfather fell against the frame of the veiled arch and sank down, a look of surprise and denial on his face. Bellatrix poised her wand for a final attack, but with staunch determination, her would-be victim sprung up with a parry. Harry had little time to catch breath before snapping his attention back to the task at hand. To live.
-- Two Months Later --
Hermione crept quietly up the stairs, her wand held high. It projected a faint ray of light around her, highlighting her features and the trepidation on her face as she skillfully maneuvered her way around the creaking steps.
I shouldn't be doing this….
At the top of the stairs she took a deep breath and closed her eyes against the angles of the moonlit hallway. With a faint smile inching across her face, she savored the memory of what had happened at dinner earlier that evening.
It was late summertime, and everyone was spending the last night before leaving for Hogwarts at number 12, Grimmauld place. London's balmy air permeated the walls stiflingly but Mrs. Weasley had still bustled around the kitchen fixing a hot stew. Meanwhile, Harry, Ron, Sirius, Mr. Weasley, Ginny, Tonks and she, Hermione, sat talking around the table. Harry had been animatedly describing the game of Quiddich they had all played that afternoon at the Weasley's, when Hermione had felt something brush against her leg. She turned to her left and glanced up at the handsome man beside her, a questioning look on her face. Before his gaze could reply, her attention quickly snapped back to Harry's regale of the day's antics.
"I caught sight of something buzzing around Charlie's head so I went for it, but then a bludger came out of nowhere, I guess that was Fred, so then I turned around…"
There!
Hermione could have sworn she'd felt a finger run along her knee. She turned again to Sirius, who winked at her and pressed a piece of paper into her palm under the table. She stuffed it in her robes and blushed.
"...But the damn bludger had already hurtled off and smacked Hermione right off her broom. First time playing Quiddich is always the toughest, eh Hermione?" He turned to her and grinned.
She nodded listlessly in agreement, clutching the scrap of paper.
"...Ron had already gone over to make sure she wasn't hurt -"
- Ron blushed fiercely and turned away from the table -
"And she wasn't, thank goodness," chimed in Tonks. "I remember last week Remus almost knocked my teeth out playing beater!"
"Anyway," continued Harry, "Ginny came out of nowhere from the left so I . . ."
Harry's voice faded out in Hermione's mind. All she could think about was the note in her fist as the surrounding conversation buzzed through her head.
As supper ended, she made a quick excuse and read the note in the privacy of the downstairs corridor, amongst dusty cupboards and an elephant-leg umbrella holder.
Hermione –
Meet me in my room at midnight.
- Sirius
She had only managed to read the paper twice over before Kreacher had crept around her, a mass of silver cutlery in his arms. He dropped the lot as Hermione jumped in surprise, clutching the paper to her chest. She quickly escaped to her room as Kreacher's watery eyes followed narrowed in dislike. She could still hear him muttering on about 'Mudblood filth' contaminating his mistress' house as she reached the first floor landing.
Alone for a moment while Ginny visited Tonks in her room, Hermione pondered the situation, unable to accept the reality that she, budding student, had been summoned to man's room at an obscenely inappropriate hour. It almost hurt her feminist ego.
"Hey Hermione," said Ginny, smiling as she entered the room. Hermione, startled, let the slip of paper she'd been holding flutter to the floor. "Do you want to go to sleep yet?"
"Oh – uh – no, not quite yet," she'd improvised, "I'm just going to go read in the library until I get sleepy."
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At the beginning of the summer when she'd first found her eyes following Sirius, this would have been a dream come true for her - the sexy older man's summons to his chambers. But now she was too nervous. She didn't even know what he wanted! Maybe he just had something to tell her related to the Order business…. or wanted to catch up after the brouhaha at the Ministry that had occured at the end of last term. Indeed, she couldn't recall having at all talked to him since then. What did he want? …What did she want? Hermione's eyes flicked open, her resolve hardened by curiosity. She stepped forward towards the aged oak door and pressed her hand against its ornate carving. After another moment of hesitation, she gave the surface a gentle knock.
From behind the door, she could hear the rustling of paper and the soft padding of footsteps across the room. Sirius opened the door slowly, letting a crease of firelight bleed out into the hall. Smiling at Hermoine, he motioned her to come in. He closed the door noiselessly behind her as she crossed over to a stained armchair and sat down.
He came towards her eagerly, a relieved smile playing around the corners of his mouth. Hermione could see the ripple of his shoulders under the thin t-shirt and boxers he was wearing. Her heart quickened as he went to back of her chair and ran his fingers over her temples.
"I knew you would come," he said.
Hermoine craned her neck to the side slightly as he whispered in her ear, "I want you Hermione…."
Is this… what I want?
The idea of sleeping with an older man attracted Hermione; she often found the boys her age too immature to think about romantically. Harry and Ron were ok, but they were like brothers . . .
He's only what, twenty years older than me?
"Sirius…" she exhaled.
But he had already moved in to kiss her and her breath was stopped short by his mouth caressing hers. He moved sideways around the chair as she stood up to meet his dark arms. He pulled back slightly. "Do you still want me?" he asked.
She smiled gently and answered with pressure from her lips. Sirius picked her up with a gallant sweep under her legs and carried her to the bed. He grinned sheepishly at the enacted cliché, Hermione both fearing and anticipating what came next.
He's everything a woman could wish for. . . and he's so kind. Harry loves him. But do I? Or is that even relevant at this point?
She bit her lip. They'd barely spoken at all, the silence scared her - the silence stretching back through her mind into memory, and the silence of the present pressing in at her from all sides.
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Hermione lay there until he was done, eyes closed. It was only when Sirius leaned over her, smiling, that she felt his proximity and opened them. His face relaxed, then tightened into a look of concern. Her eyes were wide and glassy with tears, empty of emotion.
"Hermione….?"
She rolled over, hot, soundless sobs filling the pillow. Sirius crawled next to her, holding her close, burying his face in her hair.
"I'm so sorry," he sighed. He held her there in the light of the erratic fire, two shamelessly naked figures cupping each other in the warmth. As Hermione's breathing calmed, Sirius rose and dressed, leaving her for the more predictable company of the kitchen and a much-needed firewhiskey.
Downstairs, Sirius' lips pressed together tightly, focusing on the burn of alcohol in his throat. Upstairs, Hermione returned to her room in a dream-like state of confusion, hastily packing her trunk for the morrow's return to Hogwarts as Ginny slept on, oblivious of her roommate's state of mind.
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Disclaimer - I don't own these characters.
Hello again, everyone! A handful or two of you readers might remember this story from its debut two years ago, when I only got to chapter (gasp) 52 before it was deleted without warning by the crew, probably for its explicit smutty-ness. But it's back! Ok, I had to remove the smut, but I've revised and re-written the story (also consolidated some of the smaller chapters) and will post the whole thing over the next few weeks. I plan to finish the twisty plot as it was intended, sometime before the summer (hopefully).
Notes to readers! I love reviews, they make me ) and constructive criticism is always welcome. This story takes place after OotP, in an AU, but you'll have to read on to find out why. . . Rating is still high because, well, it is. Slightly OOC-ness is necessary for the plot, again, read on to find out why. Enjoy!