1Don't Get Your Knickers In A Twist
Yeah, I was bored. And boredom at 3 o'clock at night spawns pointless little one-shots about Juudai and Manjoume arguing over underwear. Non-yaoi for once.
Takes place during the time period Manjoume's sharing a room with Juudai and Shou (Not sure when that is though..for the sake of the fic let's just pretend it's in the second season when Shou's got a bit more confidence)
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"Oi, Manjoume-kun, let go of my underwear!" Juudai instructed with a huff, feeling understandably peeved now that the smirking ebony haired teen before him had snatched his underwear from the doorway that morning and had not complied to return it to him, even after the half hour of begging and pleading that had followed.
He penetrated a glare into the equally glowering onyx eyes of Manjoume, who was indeed clasping tightly to his chest a brown paper package with the stamped word 'underwear' emblazoned across it's front, along with a few other minor details in the upper right hand corner that went relatively ignored, both of them too preoccupied disputing to pay heed to them.
"Sanda!" Manjoume correct sharply, voice laced with a deeper layer of haughtiness than usual. He puffed out his chest in a maneuver to hopefully restrain Juudai, who was currently performing wild snatches and grabs in a bid to retrieve what he believed to be 'his' property. Of course, Manjoume knew otherwise "For your information, drop-out, this is my underwear, so stay away! You'll probably contaminate it with your germs or something"
All Juudai could then do was frown in evident confusion, though quickly brushed off the slight possibility it really might be Manjoume's underwear as he was compelled by a sudden stubborn streak "It can't be your underwear" he stated firmly, extending a swift arm and deftly swiping the package from an unsuspecting Manjoume's grasp "Because I sent away for underwear on..." he trailed off, stalling a moment to count the days.
I say a moment, but in reality the interval stretched on significantly longer as the credibly hibernating cogs and gears in Juudai's brain awakened and slowly (slowly being the operative word) set to work on deciphering his explanation, Juudai's teeth gnawing absently upon his bottom lip as he channeled every last shred of concentration he upheld into thinking. Something he was plausibly foreign to.
After another uneventful minute consisting of Juudai (trying) to cogitate whilst standing stock still with a painfully strained expression residing on his features (he unsettling resembled someone poised to pass wind, actually. Manjoume retreated a few clever paces) and Manjoume gradually aging as what felt like years dwindled past, Juudai finally snapped his fingers once clearly reaching proud conclusion "I sent away for that underwear (since it's mine) on Tuesday, and since the delivery boats take five days to arrive, and that means it's been five days since Tuesday!... right? Erm...okay, so if today's Saturday and there's...how many days in a week? Ah, never mind, I'll figure it out, Manjoume-kun! Just let me think for a second-"
"NO!" Manjoume interjected with a hard defiance, whatever vigor left in his long wavering patience now evaporating instantly at the mere prospect of Juudai having to 'think' again.
He made a grab for the package containing 'his' underwear, successfully achieving to retain grip of one side of it. The only glitch faulting his triumph was that Juudai infuriatingly still instated his hold on the other end.
Manjoume growled threateningly in a fruitless attempt to intimidate Juudai into the recoiling from his underwear, but as ever, the dense brunette didn't seem to gather the whole gist of Manjoume's baleful maneuver; smiling cheerfully as if his interpretation of the ebony haired boy's infamous death glares were reversely a happy grin and chirpy greeting.
Oblivious to the hate waves currently channeling his way, Juudai beamed "Tell you what, Man- ah, I mean, sanda" catching himself, he addressed Manjoume as his preferred alias before issuing his proposition "I guess if you're lucky I could lend you the underwear (which is mine) But not today, seeing as it is my underwear, so of course I'm the one to wear it first"
What Juudai believed to be a gracious offer and golden opportunity unsurprisingly did not rub off well on Manjoume. In fact, it only had the effect of increasing his already surging anger considerably, and Juudai knew that if this were some tedious animated cartoon and not real life, anime steam would be pouring out of Manjoume's ears and billowing from his nostrils at that very moment.
Manjoume took a step closer towards Juudai, who retaliated by mirroring the ebony haired teen's actions and inching in further still; their daunting tactics now concluding with both boys having their noses pressed up against one another and trading fury sparks as they shot out of each other's tempestuous eyes.
"Just get your worthless drop-out paws off my underwear!" Manjoume blasted eventually after a good few heartbeats filled with glares and flaring nostrils. His outburst very much resembled the stroppy little kid he was deep down, and Juudai's instincts fully believed the tantrum-throwing toddler inside Manjoume was on the verge of being unearthed if said boy continued to not get his own way.
Juudai resorted to sticking out his tongue and waggling it childishly at the ebony haired boy; hey, if Manjoume was going to act like a big baby, then why shouldn't he?
"Eurgh, Juudai, I've had enough!" Manjoume wrenched at the parcel, startled at how the brunette somehow matched his strength and tug the precious package back with equal force.
Juudai deliberately missed the point, a mischievous grin playing on his lips "Oh, you've had enough of your own lies, Manjoume-kun?" Juudai clarified innocently, resisting the urge to smirk at the flicker of vexation flash in onyx orbs "So you're going to admit that it is my underwear?" He took great delight in observing the other boy's complexion shade from pale white to crimson red with rage.
"Drop-out, that's it!"
"That's what?"
"GRRR!"
A fight most surely would have broken out, both teen's looking dangerously close to lunging out at each other until-
"Aniki! Manjoume-kun, stop!" An oh-so familiar shrill and childlike voice intervened suddenly, an apprehensive Marufugi Shou emerging from beneath a ream of bed sheets on the bottom bunk opposite them, the small boy choosing to make his appearance only once he was nervous a fist-fight was about to ensue between the two thoroughly aggravated rivals come friends.
The disputatious twosome, thankfully distracted and thus temporarily forgetting their wayward desires to pummel each other into an oblivion, spun around to be met with the anxious face of the aqua haired boy.
"Shou!?" they exclaimed simultaneously, as if only just acknowledging the youngest Marufugi sibling for the first time. And, since the aforementioned teen had been huddled silently underneath the bed covers for the past half hour the two had been arguing, they probably had.
Shou shook his head in dismay at the bickering pair "Have you two even checked who the package is addressed to-su?"
Both boys gaped, evidently taken aback and considerably thrown by the question, turning their heads to face one another sheepishly as color rushed to their cheeks; staining them a vivid pigment of cherry-pink as the obvious solution to their bovine dilemma sunk in on them, both realizing in unison that the entire, pointless conflict could easily have been avoided.
Juudai scratched his nose hastily as if it had developed a sudden itch that needed to be attended to, and Manjoume averted his gaze to his fingernails which he seemingly had grown fascinated by during the awkward five second interlude which had followed after Shou pointed out their superfluously foolish mistake.
Speaking of Shou, he fought hard to refrain from dragging a weary palm down his face as the embarrassed boys continued to occupy themselves by nose scratching and finger staring, neither showing signs of executing the more important matters any time soon.
A weary Shou, respectively appointing himself official leader of the utterly dense situation seeing as the other two weren't taking command for once, placed his hands on his hips "Well?" he pressed them exasperatedly "Aren't you going to check who's underwear it is- su!?"
The teen's immediately leapt into action.
"I'll do it!" Juudai volunteered, pulling the package towards himself.
"No, I'll do it!" Manjoume contradicted, tugging it backwards and as far away from the brunette as possible with an obstinate Juudai still hanging resolutely to the other end.
Not even the most powerful forces in the universe could have suppressed Shou from doing what he did next; as nettled silver eyes surveyed his quarreling roommates argue it out over who got to the 'honor' of reading the further description on the underwear package, he face-palmed accordingly.
"I'll do it!" Juudai wrenched the parcel one way.
"No, I'll do it!" Manjoume wrenched it the other.
"No, I'll-"
Rip!
Suddenly, the inevitable yet painfully predictable reality unfolded; the package tore open and it's much strove for contents was sent careening into the open air.
Brown and onyx locked on the prized clothing determinedly, both boys steadily poising themselves for leaping up and claiming it as their own.
Though spontaneously, upon noticing something completely and utterly petrifying, Juudai refrained from jumping last minute as chocolate orbs expanded to startling proportions as they brimmed with an extensive blanket of shock.
Manjoume however, too blinded by his arrogance and never-ending complex to outdo Juudai in every last competing they fought in, did not acknowledge what Juudai acknowledged, and if he had, he most certainly would not have done what he did next. And that was basically; discard of a still awestruck Juudai unceremoniously to the side with an elbow in the rib cage, rise up gallantly with arms outstretched, and finally regain complete ownership of the underwear once more. And, upon gravity decreasing him back down to Earth again, he was all set to rub his victory in Juudai's face when-
"HAHAHAHA!" Shou burst out in a thoroughly inappropriate gale of laughter, clutching his sides with weak arms as his chest heaved up and down in exhaustion induced by his wild, sudden tittering.
Juudai was soon to follow suit in delectation, steering a finger in the direction of a now broadly confused Manjoume.
The ebony haired teen was stumped. He had won, right? He had defeated Juudai in the struggle to obtain possession of the underwear he and Juudai had both sought so greatly for. He was victorious for once, dammit!
But if that was so, then why did Shou and Juudai proceed to draw out their consecutive giggling fit contendedly...?
Holy Sweet Mother Of Ra!
Not. Good.
Shou laughed. Juudai laughed. Manjoume was close to tears upon realizing the source of their upsurge in laughter.
On and on, the laughter continued, wringing in a distraught Manjoume's ears as the ebony haired teen became certain he was on the brink of spontaneously combusting from sheer humiliation fused with terrifying rage if this kept up.
Juudai brushed away the tears swelling up in his eyes, but, unlike Manjoume, his crying would be stimulated by excessive laughing.
He approached the black clad Osiris, running his fingers over the lacy fabric the boy still held numbly in his hands and tweaking one of the many silky carmine ribbons stitched onto it. Juudai broke out in another snickering fit "Gee, Manjoume-kun, I guess this really is your underwear!"
Manjoume felt like slapping himself on accord of his own stupidity (Though of course he was much more inclined to afflict pain upon Juudai first. Then perhaps Shou for good measure) This was wrong! Indecent, obscene, lewd! Who would dare send a pair of...well...a pair of underwear to him that looked so horribly like that!?
He glared down at the pair of french knickers staring back up at him with black fills and satin trim 'It can't get any freaking worse, right?'
Or so he thought. But alas, poor Manjoume Jun was to be proved wrong once again...
Asuka then arrived in the doorway, holding up two pairs of boxer shorts; one with a lurid design of Hane Kuribohs etched across it, the other with repetitive sketches of the whole trio of Ojama's. She looked slightly flushed "Hey, have any of you received anything in the mail you shouldn't have? The deliveries got a little mixed up this week and-" She stop dead, turning to Manjoume "Manjoume-kun!" she gasped in horror "Why are you holding my underwear!?"
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Bwhaha, yes, I am aware that this was pointless, but it was fun, right? Anyway, if you liked it, please review it, and if you hated it, then...I doubt you will have made it all the way down here so I suppose there's no point giving you advice. After all, feedback is nice
Well, on the plus side, at least Manjoume finally got to see Asuka's underwear! Though I guess he probably would have preferred to have in a considerably different situation...
And yeah, I'm sorry if this was dreadfully OOC, I've only seen the dub but I thought this worked better with the Japanese names.