Comic Con Land
To be sung to the tune of Town Meeting Song from "The Nightmare Before Christmas"
Geek: Listen, all you norms!
There were costumes, so peculiar, they were not to be believed. All around, sights to tantalize my brain.
It's a world unlike, anything I've ever seen! And as hard as I try, I can't seem to describe… like a most impossible dream.
But you must believe, when I tell you this, it's as real as my iPhone, and it DOES exist!
Here, let me show you!
This is a thing called a cosplay. The whole thing starts with a show-
Sister: A show?
Dad: Is it Fox?
Is there news?
Mom: Is it filled with facts?
Dad: Facts,
How delightful, the facts!
Geek: IF YOU PLEASE. Just a show, with bright colored people, and the whole thing's topped with a sword.
Brother: A sword?
Mother: But why?
Dad: How brutal!
Sister: Why have it? Why have it?
Geek: It's the point of the thing, for the show
Brother: It's a fake!
Mom: Will it bend
Sister: It's a prop, will it break?
Dad: Perhaps it's the handle that's from my old rake?
Geek: Listen now, you don't understand! That's not the point of Comic Con Land!
Now pay attention! Now we pick up an oversize sock, and hang it, like this, from our belt-
Mom: Oh my, does it need to be washed?
Brother: It looks yuck, it looks gross!
Sister: Is it rotted and smells foul up close?
Geek: *sighs* Let me explain. There's no stain in this sock, but there's flyers! Or sometimes it's filled with cool merch!
Dad: Merch?
Brother: What's that?
Sister: What's it worth?
Mom: Will it fit in your purse?
Dad: Or perhaps it's just clutter, more crap, what a curse!
Grandma: What a splendid Idea! Comic Con sounds fun! I fully endorse it. Let's try it just once!
Geek: Everyone, please, now not so fast! There's something here that you don't quite grasp! …Well, I may as well give them what they want.
And the best, I must confess, I have saved for last! For the ruler of this Comic Con Land, is a crazed mercenary, who's just there to have fun! At least, that's what I've come to understand.
And I've also heard it told, that he's something to behold, like a lobster, burned and red. And he sets out to slay, with his ninja gear on, carting bulging bandoliers full of bullets and guns. That is, so I've heard it said.
And in a full sweaty crowd, under fake fog and bright lights, he jumps onto the stage, like a vulture in flight! And they call him… the Dead Pool!
Well, at least they're excited, though they still don't understand that special kind of feeling
in Comic Con Land.
*shrugs* OH WELL!
…
author's note: SLCC 2015, here we come!
co-written with Taylor Hayes.