Welcome!

And I'll start off negatively and bluntly. I hate this oneshot. I loved the plot but I hate my writing in it but it was written for basically the same reason as Cat and Mouse—read this other oneshot please. I need to write to get back into writing. Also, this story is basically just pure crack, so the style of writing different and I do not—repeat DO NOT—rock at this style so… laughter probably won't occur because of it. Still, the idea is funny, which is why I wrote it.

It was originally supposed to be just the five kunoichi but I figured that a few of the female Shinigami would join in. Anyway, it is just the kunoichi doing this game because they are new to Soul Society and since they were friends in their former life, they want to know what each other think. So, that's why before you ask why not the other three.

It is crack.

Still, even though I don't like how it is written, the idea of it makes me giggle. And I'm terrible at 'Drunk Speech'!

Constructive criticism about characters please—even though they are drunk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Bleach.

W H O . D O . Y O U . L I K E ?

"Oi, oi." Temari waved a hand in the air before pushing herself up from the futon slowly, a slanted grin on her face. She took a swig from a small bottle of sake in her other grasp before pointing at a slightly more sober Ino across from her. "Don't forsch 'er, Blondy," she slurred, her eyes glazing over as she tipped to the side, only to lean against an equally drunk Rangiku—said Lieutenant took a gulp from her cup at the same time.

Hinata shuffled closer to Momo. "It's okay, Temari."

Temari waved her hand at the mousy girl. "No no no no no." She curled all her fingers into her palm except for the index and jabbed at the air. "Wasch a bad thing for 'er to do." She directed her hand to Ino again. "Bad Blondy."

The Yamanaka female, at this point, was leaning her head against the wall behind her, trying to tighten her black kimono around her chest where it was loose and exposing much of her flesh. Her cheeks red-tinted and lifted due to the content smile on her face, she let out a giggle. "I… I just wanted to know who," she mumbled, the little saliva in her mouth muffling her words.

Hinata squeaked and covered her mouth. Momo, beside her, wrapped an arm around in a comforting gesture. At the same time, however, Sakura slung an around both of their small frames and pushed them into her, causing Hinata to be buried between the pinkette's breast—her face went red. "S-Sakura!"

"Come on—" she hiccupped, "how 'bout we shtart firsht?" the medic suggested, gesturing to the other three—drunk—kunoichi in the same room. Rangiku was amongst the crowd and all were at least somewhat under the influence of alcohol except for Nanao who took it upon herself—along with Hinata and Momo who refused the sake—to look after the ones who were completely trashed after the girls night was over.

Next to Ino, Tenten thrust a sake cup into the air and shouted in confirmation. "Good idea! I—" she slipped as she tried to push herself up from the floor. Gradually, with the help of Ino who latched onto the Weapon Mistress's shoulder and pulled hard, almost ripping her clothing and baring her shoulder, Tenten was upright. "I'll go firsht," she exclaimed, arms wide, face flushed.

The other drunken women nodded in agreement, motioning for her to go on and staring at her with earnest. Nanao moved forward, near the sober Shinigami—Hinata and Momo—somewhat eager to listen to the other females personal opinions.

As though about to make a grand speech, Tenten braced an arm across her chest and closed her eyes. "My idol ish Captain Kenpachi!"

The others gasped in excitement. "Eh? Why?" Rangiku poked the brunette, making sure that Temari wouldn't collapse to the floor as she leaned over.

Glad that the Lieutenant asked, Tenten snapped her eyes open and grinned. "He's shtrong and knows how to wield a Zanpakuto, even though he doesn't know its name. I also like…" she paused to take in a breath, "…his attitude and—!" she held a finger up. "—and he taught me. Sho—" Tenten shrugged.

"In other words, respect as a teacher," Nanao narrowed down, pushing her glasses further back.

"Right!" Tenten took in a deep breath and fell back onto the wall, dropping her head onto Ino's shoulder and swallowing slowly. The Yamanaka giggled before taking the brunette's sake bowl and sipping from it.

"Next!"

"He'sh also… kinda cute," the Weapon's Mistress completed, brown eyes looking sideways at the ceiling.

"Aww!" Rangiku reached across and hugged the drunk woman around the waist, forgetting that Temari was using her as support. The previous sand-ninja fell to the side and was unable to catch herself due to the alcohol; she hit the futon before sitting upright. "Someone's got a crush!"

"I do not," Tenten blushed, trying to push the voluptuous woman away.

"S-Sakura. You're choking me," Hinata whispered out hoarsely in the meantime, and the strong pinkette blinked before unlatching her hand from Momo's shoulder, giving them the much needed air.

"Shorry, Hina," she grinned, giving cheers before gulping down the sake in her bowl. If only Tsunade could see her now.

Hinata shook her head and looked to Momo and Nanao. "I hope nobody else comes in here." The two nodded in agreement.

"Let's hope Kyoraku doesn't find out about this," the Eight Division Lieutenant remarked. The mousy Hyuuga squeaked at the thought.

"I'm all for fox-face!" Temari shouted suddenly. Movement ceased as everyone stared at her, mostly out of interest. Hinata, however, being the only sober former ninja, widened her eyes at the nickname. It reminded her of Naruto. The blonde kunoichi waved a hand at the four drunk women. "What'sh hish name?"

"Uh, Captain Ichimaru?" Momo offered, flinching under the sharp gaze of the five Shinigami women as they snapped their eyes in her direction. Temari grinned.

"That'sh it!"

Ino's eyes widened like a child opening a Christmas present. "Why?"

Nanao interrupted. "I hope you didn't have a second meaning when you said that Temari?"

The Sabaku women looked at the Lieutenant with glazed eyes. "Huh?"

"You said 'I'm all for…' making it seem as though you were claiming him for some other means."

Temari's smile just grew bigger and Hinata was instantly reminded of the Third Captain they were talking about. Quietly, the Hyuuga groaned and dropped her head into her knees. Those two had obviously been around each other for far too long—Captain Ichimaru and Temari, she meant.

Ino, frowning, shook Temari by the elbow. "Why?"

"'Cause he'sh funny and shexeh!" The smashed blonde took another sip.

Momo, startled, looked at both Nanao and Hinata in earnest and fear. "She didn't just say 'sexy', did she?"

"Yesh I did!" came the shout in the background.

"Oh dear."

"They're drunk. I'd disregard what all of them say, Lieutenant Hinamori," Nanao said.

"But, uh…" Hinata piped up, pressing her fingertips together—it was a habit she broke long ago but had occasionally done a few times since her life in Soul Society. The sober Shinigami gave her their attention. "I-It's good for blackmail, ne?"

They smiled.

"I snag Byakuya!" Sakura shouted, only to get a scathing glare from Ino.

"No, he's mine!"

"Back off, Ino-pig!"

"No way, Billboard-Brow!"

The two promptly tackled each other, causing Tenten to straddle Rangiku, Temari collapse to the floor cackling and the only sober Shinigami to just stare in wonder, blocking their ears at the two 'former' rivals shrieking. When the sake bottle was tipped over, Temari froze and yelled at the two of them from the background as they wrestled.

"S-Sakura! Ino!" Hinata tried to sooth but her quiet words were not heard of their loud vocals.

"Oh no," Momo muttered beside her, dodging Sakura as she was pushed to the floor.

"Is everything alri—?"

The entire room froze at the sound of the new voice and all heads popped up to meet the surprised and startled eyes of Captain Ukitake. His hand still resting on the door, he blinked at each of the occupants in the room before eyeing the sake on the floor. He could tell, just by glancing at each of them, who was drunk and who was not.

Sighing and pressing a hand to his forehead, he tilted his head back. "Yamanaka. I gave you permission to have your little girl's night here but could you please be a little quieter?"

Ino, only half sober, nodded dumbly. "Yes, Captain Ukitake." She bowed her head. "My apologies."

With a nod, the pale Shinigami left the hellhole, sliding the door closed silently behind him. Breathing in, Ino closed her eyes and let her head drop, exhaling in Sakura's face who then cringed and tried to recoil back. "Eurgh! Watch it, Ino-pig! Your breash shtinks!"

Ino giggled, leaning into the pinkette and whispering, "I choose my Captain." She giggled again, lifting her weight off of the flushed pinkette and crawling back to where she was before.

"I win!" Sakura shouted, pointing a finger at Ino then screaming, "ha!"

The Yamanaka shrugged, closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them. "If you weally want to get him Billboard-Brow, you can ashk Hinata about him."

"Once again I fear about the way that that was worded," Nanao muttered calmly in the background.

Understanding flickered in Sakura's eyes as she nodded and turned to the Hyuuga, opening her mouth to demand everything there was to know about the Sixth Captain but she was cut off before she could make a sound.

"Ne, Hinata. You next."

Her lavender eyes went wide as those words left Rangiku's lips. "Bu-bu-but I—I—" She was cut off as Temari wrapped and arm around her shoulder and gave her a cheeky grin.

"Come on! We did! It's like… it's like a ritual for ush because we're shorta new to this and ev'rything."

"I think you mean 'test'," Nanao interjected.

"Whatever," Temari shook off the correction; Nanao rolled her eyes.

Hinata gulped. "Well, I—I…" her lavender eyes darted from one female to the next, trying to ignore the curious—but evil—looking grins on their faces. She shivered under Temari's in particular because Hinata found the Third Captain to be very intimidating, and the blonde had indeed mirrored his casual smile almost to perfection.

"Go on," Tenten urged.

"Um. I-I—I mean, my… idol is… hm," she swallowed, fingertips playing with each other as she avoided their gaze. Who cared about the sake bowls lying on the floor? Who cared about the puddle of said alcohol on the floorboards and now soaking into Temari and Sakura's black kimonos? Who cared about that? Hinata just wanted to high-tail it outta there and leave Momo and Nanao to clean up the mess.

"Hinata…"

"I-I don't have one," she rushed out.

"Ha! And Tenten hatesh Kenny!" Temari laughed.

"I do not!"

"She was saying she didn't believe her, Tenny," Rangiku soothed the brunette.

"Oh."

"Come on, Hinata," Ino pouted. "Who?"

"Uh… C-Captain H-Hits-su—"

"—gaya?" Sakura ended with a smirk.

Meekly, Hinata nodded and meeped loudly when she was suddenly enveloped by my arms and pushed in between two large breasts.

"Aww! Shy little Hinata likes my Captain!" she cheered, squeezing the Hyuuga tightly against her body and shaking her from side to side like a rag doll.

"Why?" Momo asked softly, smiling.

As soon as Hinata was allowed to breathe, she blushed to her hair roots. "Well, I… think it's great that someone so young can be a Captain. It… just shows that there is no real age limit or something like that," she replied, fumbling with her hands.

"Thank goodness!" Nanao sighed from behind, earning her curious looks. "They've passed out," she replied nonchalantly as she pointed at Ino and Tenten snoring quietly on the mass of futons at the back.

Momo and Hinata giggled, catching the message underneath.

Tomorrow was going to be fun.