This is RLM here, also known by my creative username, Graffigraphy. Although this fic is being posted under my account, in actuality there are three very smart, dedicated, and quite beautiful authors here that are contributing to this story. My girls are Matrix (matrix.1114) and Fire Hydrant (Bubble.Candy). And we bring you Rendezvous, the fic about nothing.
Well, not quite. Matrix challenged me to write a crossover between my favorite series in the world, Stephanie Plum, and my least favorite series in the world, Twilight. No offense to Twilight fans or anything. But what ended up happening was what will be a series of oneshots, all crossing over the two series in some way. Matrix is working on a multi-chapter edition, while I'm just going with the oneshots. And Fire Hydrant, once she finishes reading One For the Money, will, I'm sure, have a fantabulous edition to our fic.
It seems that Matrix and I are babes, but I think my dear friend Fire Hydrant may be a cupcake. Oh, and don't be surprised if this fic is not in the favor of the vampires. But oh well. You do what you have to do.
And now, the fic. I can guarantee you that even if the plot sucks and it makes you so dead bored that you would rather be watching grass grow, at least you'll be reading something written by the three most grammatically correct teenagers ever. So read at your own risk.
I was tempted to say "are we there yet?" but for fear of sounding childish, I played it cool. "So…" I began casually, "How much further?"
Ranger glanced at me, his face blank. "Twenty minutes," he replied curtly, and then fell back into silence. I sighed and fidgeted in my seat.
"Where are we staying?" I asked. If we didn't start talking, I was going to go crazy. Ranger was boring when he drove. I think it had something to do with the whole "Zen state" thing.
"Holiday Inn," he said.
"What are you doing about, um, supplies?" Stupid question, I know. But this question needed more than a two word answer. I was hoping to get a conversation going before he got too P.O.'d at me.
"Tank had a box shipped up yesterday, so everything we need should be at the room."
"Oh. Cool."
I shifted again in my seat, this time sitting back in my seat so I could prop my feet up on the dash. If I had any choice in the matter, I would be taking a vacation in the Caribbean, tanning and drinking margaritas. Not stuck in a rental car on a highway in Washington, fretting about what the rain would do to my hair.
Back in Trenton, we had some… complications. At the moment, I was having a bit of trouble with an "admirer". I was convinced that the guy was harmless, but Ranger and Morelli both seemed to think that he was reaching stalker potential. Ranger wanted me to go to a safe house for a couple of days while they sorted out the mess, but naturally I refused. So my other option, sadly not being a trip to the Caribbean, was going out of town with Ranger for security business.
I think he was only taking me with him so that he knew I was safe, but I couldn't help but feel a little bit flattered when I was asked to be his backup. Normally that was a job for Tank or any of the other merry men. So hopefully this meant that Ranger didn't think I was a complete failure.
I pulled the file towards me and flicked it open. The FTA was an eighteen year old girl named Alice Cullen, arrested for three charges of grand theft auto. Her car of choice was a yellow Porsche Boxster, and she had stolen them on an extended vacation to Trenton. But why anyone would want to vacation there was beyond me. Apparently Alice Cullen had nothing better to do than steal cars.
Vinnie had bonded her out, but at the time that I was supposed to find her I was in a bit of a bind, so I gave the file to Bobby and Lester, promising them that I owed them a favor. And then everything went downhill. The story is that they went to the hotel she was staying at, knocked on the door, and were invited in to talk to her. Their conversation had lasted a total of about three minutes, before Lester was left with a black eye and dislocated shoulder and Bobby had had both of his thumbs broken and been zapped with his own stun gun. Apparently she jumped out the window to get away, and the next morning the room was deserted and she had run.
After a week of waiting, we got word of the girl being back in Washington, and the assignment was offered to any Rangeman employee that was qualified. Incidentally, no one volunteered. So Ranger had to go and get the girl himself, dragging me along in the process. He said that it would be a good opportunity to learn about making captures at other parts of the country, but I knew it was just so he could leave for two days without having to worry about me.
I glanced up when I felt the car decelerate as Ranger turned off the expressway. We passed the sign welcoming us to Forks, and I spent the next five minutes looking out the window, which showed me only mist and dreary trees. I shifted again when my ass started to numb and I put my feet on the floor, sitting up in anticipation.
As you may have noticed, I have problems sitting still. And there had been a lot of that today. What with the five hour flight and then the hour-long car ride, I was tired of waiting around. And possibly, I thought, excited to make a capture. I was looking forward to the adrenaline rush.
Ranger pulled into the lot of the Holiday Inn and I hopped out of the car. He went around to the trunk to grab our bags, and then with a hand on my back, led us into the hotel. Getting the rooms only took a few minutes, and soon we were upstairs, getting changed and equipped for the takedown.
I poked my head into the suite hallway that adjoined our bedrooms. "Um, Ranger? We're going to apprehend an eighteen year old girl, right?"
Ranger slid his knife back into his boot. "Yep."
"Yeah, because…," I frowned at the box of weaponry, "Doesn't this seem a little excessive?"
He leaned over me to pull a Glock out of the box. "Can't take any risks," he said. "Besides, you saw what happened to Santos and Brown. They're not gonna be able to live this down for a long time. We want this to be quick and clean."
"I know, but I've never apprehended a kid before."
"She's eighteen. A legal adult."
"She's still in high school."
Ranger gave me a hard look. "This girl stole cars. And injured two of my men. A little force may be a good thing."
I frowned but dropped the subject, knowing that trying to argue with Ranger would be about as effective as challenging a brick wall to a fistfight. I shrugged. "I'm ready."
Alice Cullen was panicking. And this was not something that happened often.
Well, okay, maybe panicking was a little bit of a strong word. More like nervous. Jittery. Butterflies in the stomach. She stood up and paced around her bedroom.
She had been having visions all day of a woman, perhaps in her thirties with wild, curly hair, coming to talk to them. Well, coming to talk to her. And Alice was almost positive it had something to do with the stolen cars.
She wrung her hands together and sighed. Something was wrong. There was definitely something wrong. She wracked her brain, trying to decipher the distorted visions, but every time she tried she couldn't help but draw a blank. There was something in the visions that was hidden from her. It had a presence like smoke, but she couldn't grasp it. And it was driving her nuts.
They had only been back in Forks for a week, and already complications had arisen. She had spent the past few months travelling around the country, and during the stop in Trenton, she had found her dream car: a yellow Porsche Boxster. Despite the shame of "borrowing" the cars to go for rides, Alice couldn't stop taking them. And finally, the third time she had broken in to go for a drive, she had gotten caught. Jasper, who had met up with her for a few days there, was able to pay for her to go out on bail, and a court date had been arranged. But she skipped it—too preoccupied with worrying about Edward and seeing dire images of Bella's future. It was only when those two guys came to "collect" her did she think back to the situation at hand.
After taking care of them, she got out of the hotel and found Jasper, telling him that she had to leave. So he went back and gathered her things, and she started the trip back west. She completely forgot about her little stint with the law after the whole "Bella is dead" fiasco, and then Italy, and it was only when everyone was settled back in Forks did she really start to contemplate her predicament. Her first step had been damage control.
To her knowledge, only Jasper and herself knew what had happened back in Trenton. But she knew that as soon as Edward got word of her arrest the whole family would know, and she didn't think that she could handle Esme and Carlisle's disappointment. Lucky for her, Edward spent all of his time around Bella, so he wasn't exactly paying much attention to the rest of the family. However, the second that both Edward and Alice had a moment free, she had yanked him out into the driveway, gotten into Rosalie's BMW, and drove them both with the windows sealed shut and music playing, so she didn't have to fear anyone in the family overhearing.
"You got arrested," Edward had said flatly. He obviously didn't believe it.
"Yes, Edward. People make mistakes, you know," Alice responded bitterly.
Edward smirked. "You've been alive for over one hundred years and you're a walking prophet. You, my dear sister, are not one to make mistakes as stupid as this."
"I don't know what happened! And I did it again, in Italy. That perfect little car—it would be kind of like having the golden opportunity to steal a… Vanquish, or something."
"You're missing the point."
They had bantered back and forth for a while, but Edward did agree to keep the crime a secret. They pulled into the driveway again and he had shaken his head. "Alice, you're going to have to make it right sometime, you know."
She nodded. "I know."
So that's why she was currently pacing back and forth, on edge with no idea what to do. Her visions were ominous and she assumed that people were coming for her, but she was torn between doing what was less embarrassing and doing the right thing. And she didn't even have anyone to talk to. Jasper was out hunting with Rosalie, and Edward was with Bella. Alice tried to shake the nerves out of her, but she was so jittery that she couldn't even sit down.
Downstairs, she heard the doorbell ring. Alice froze.
Alice called that she would get the doorbell, ignoring the strange sensation of nerves painfully tightening her chest. It turns out that even vampires get scared. Go figure.
She crept down the stairs and pressed her ear to the front door. She could hear a heartbeat out there, an impatient sigh, and then the tapping of feet. It was only one person. Just like her vision. Alice wondered idly if it was the curly-haired woman. But, after taking a deep breath, Alice reached out to open the door.
Ding-doooong! The quick chime of the doorbell in her ear nearly made her jump out of her skin. Alice grumbled under her breath, annoyed at the visitor's impatience. It was just when she was about to curse the person off that Esme glided into the living room.
"Something wrong, dear? You look a little pale."
Alice and Esme eyed each out for a moment before bursting out in giggles. Alice smiled. "No, I'm fine, Mom. Everything's good."
"Why don't you let that poor person in? They've been standing on the porch for a while now," Esme said softly. Alice sighed. She had to face this sooner or later—might as well get it over with now.
Alice opened the door as Esme fell into step behind her. The two women gazed out onto the porch, where an irritable man stood in front of them. He held up a book.
"Hello, ladies. I just want to take a minute of your time and speak to you about Watchtower and Jeho—" Alice took one look at the missionary, got her heart "palpitations" under control, and slammed the door. Esme tsked her, although she had a smile on her face.
"You could have heard the man out, you know."
Alice flopped down on the couch with a sigh. "You know, I probably could have. But I was not in the mood to be converted today."
Esme shook her head, but she was grinning slightly as she went back into the kitchen.
Alice glanced around the room, feeling overwhelmingly tired for a being that was unable to sleep. For once, the ability that she relied on every day of her undead life was failing her. She couldn't see the people that were coming for her. It was too cloudy, and time was too distorted. For all she knew, it might not be until next Sunday that they decide to show up at her doorstep.
Or maybe not. The doorbell rang again.
Ranger and I stood, side by side, on Alice Cullen's doorstep. Inside we heard the gentle scurrying of feet, a yelp, and then the door was wretched open by some guy that was so huge he could have been Tank's brother. I almost raised an eyebrow at Ranger, but instead I opted for being professional.
"Hello, my name is Stephanie Plum. My colleague and I were wondering if Alice Cullen was home."
"I'm here."
We saw a girl, not even five feet tall, come to the door with her head down. She looked miserable.
"Is there a problem?" A woman stood next to the big guy, and she was even more double-take worthy than the kid. She was taller than me, with nicer hair, a nicer face, and a much nicer body. Even when her face was laced with confusion, she still looked like a model just off the runway. Instantly, I felt my insecurities come up, and I had to force myself not to look at Ranger to make sure he wasn't studying her in the same way that I was.
"Um, hi," I said. Real smooth. "My name is Stephanie Plum, this is Ricardo Manoso, and we represent Vincent Plum Bail Bonds back in Trenton. Could we come in for a moment?"
She looked shocked, but the woman ushered us in. "Would you like to sit down?" she asked, gesturing to the living room.
Everyone sat except Ranger, who remained standing by my side. Always alert and ready to move, I assumed. But I sat next to the mother, who introduced herself to me as Esme, and her two kids were across from us: Emmett, the big guy, and Alice, our skip.
"So," Esme began, "Is there a problem?" she glanced at Alice and Emmett with questioning glances.
I took a deep breath. "Your daughter, Alice, missed a court date. We need to take her to Trenton with us to reschedule."
Esme's eyes widened, but before she could say anything, Emmett burst out in laughter.
"You got arrested? Man, it all makes sense now. Ha! What's Carlisle going to say?" Emmett clutched his stomach in laughter, while Esme shook her head.
"Oh, Alice. How did this happen?"
Alice looked like she wanted to cry. "I don't know! I just saw those cars, and I had this calling! I needed them, Esme! I don't know what's wrong with me!"
"Alice…"
"I'm sorry! I'll go back to Trenton—I swear. Esme, I won't do anything bad from now on. Really," Alice gushed. She stared down at her lap.
You know, I almost felt a little bad for the kid. I mean, she didn't give us an attitude or anything, and when you overlooked the fact that she beat up Bobby and Lester, she seemed alright. Hell, when I was eighteen, I can't say I never thought about stealing a Porsche Boxster. It's a pretty hot car.
Lucky for me I've got a supplier standing right next to me. I grinned.
"Hey, Alice, it'll be okay. It was your first offense, so you shouldn't get anything really bad," I told her.
She looked up at me and nodded slowly. "Okay."
Ranger walked forward and snapped the cuffs around Alice's wrist. Esme looked like she wanted to cry.
"Alice, Jasper and I will fly down as soon as possible to see you. Everything will be alright, dear."
"Yes, Mom."
As Alice and I started walking towards the door, I saw Emmett poke Ranger in the back. The man in black turned around to stare at Emmett with a raised eyebrow. Turns out Ranger doesn't like getting poked.
"Hey, Mr. Manoso?" Emmett asked.
"Yes?"
"You any good at arm wrestling?"
Ranger turned around and walked back over to me, deliberately ignoring the kid, whose disappointment was evident. "What?" I heard Emmett ask his mother, "I just wanted to know."
We walked outside and towards the car. However, Alice stopped short.
"Wow…," she breathed, "It's not yellow, but it's still beautiful."
I glanced over at Ranger's black Porsche Boxster and then to our FTA. However, it was Ranger that pushed her into the car with a quick, "Yeah, don't get any big ideas."
A story by RLM. The epitome of awfulness.