Heaven
© Dee Cochrane

Disclaimer: I don't own the song Heaven, Chris Perry [Halliwell but I do own the characters of Ariana Pryor-Perry© and Dione Pryor-Perry ©

Chris Perry held his daughters hand, that was… before everything went cold. He cast his green eyes down on her young body. He was holding her close, she wasn't moving, her breathing… it had… really slowed down. Wait, she wasn't breathing at all. His wife, Ariana looked up at the doctor who had been assigned to look after their sick child.

"I'm sorry…"

(Oh, thinking about our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
That's over now
You keep me coming back for more…)

He could hardly listen to anything, hear anything, thanks to Annie's crying. She was finding it hard to believe that their Dione was actually gone, even if they had been expecting this for such a long time. She was only nine years old… it was too soon for a nine year old to die. Why did she have to be diagnosed with leukaemia, and to be honest, even though he knew what was going to happen, he didn't understand why she wasn't able to fight it.

It was almost like yesterday when he was watching her run through the park. Her long brown hair, like his own, flying behind her like a train. Dione always wore a smile, no matter how sick she was. Some never believed it was a true smile… but it always was. She was always so happy. If she was to go and speak to someone, she would always have that smile on her face and she would always be laughing. One thing, that Chris knew Dione liked to talk about… was her parents. Yes, Dione always spoke of how she loved Chris and Annie.

Now, that was over. No more chirpy happiness, no more of her smile. All that was left, was tears… the pain… he didn't want it to be over and no matter how much he shook her body she never awoke. The shaking only made his wife worse so Chris stopped doing that, although his mind and heart told him to continue just in case it would jumpstart her little heart into beating again. It was then that the first of his tears had falling, marking the white sheets of the hospital bed.

She was a lot like her mother, but she also had qualities of him in her. He never did believe that about children being like their parents… that was until he had saw Dione for the first time… the first time he had held her. The way she felt in his arms. How he could say… "This is my daughter. I helped make her with the women I love."

He couldn't see her as being gone. Even though he had witnessed it, knowing the doctor had told him only a few hours ago that it wouldn't be long until she would eventually pass away. He hadn't expected it to be like that though, so sudden, without even a sign. Chris knew he should be grateful though… she wasn't in pain any longer. He knew how she had gotten these past days and was glad she was no longer having to feel like that. That wasn't going to be a remedy on how he was feeling though… or how Annie was feeling.

Moving Dione carefully out of his arms, onto the bed, Chris then got up and walked over to Annie. He crouched down beside her, tears in his eyes also. He pulled her close to him, she was tense. He couldn't expect anything else. She had lost their first born too. She was also feeling everything he was feeling, possibly her pain was worse because she had that mother daughter bond with Dione. Although that wasn't necessary true. Dione and Chris had spent a whole lot of time together. There was one that he could remember more than anything else… one moment he would always find sentimental…

(Oh once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Pick you up when you're feeling down
Now nothing can change what you mean to me
There's a lot that I can say
Just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way.)

This moment was set in the same hospital room they were in right now. She was lying in the bed staring up at him with a hint of longing in her eyes. This was because she was so excited to being allowed to go back home. She had been in getting another session of chemotherapy and it had really knocked her for six. She had to stay in the hospital until redeemed fit enough to go and now she finally was. He had leant down and kissed her cheek. Looking at her was hard because it pained him to know how much she had loved her long hair… Dione had asked Annie to shave it all off after she had started to loose it.

"Daddy can we go home now!"

Yes she was a little impatient, but Chris was used to it. He wanted just to just hold her in his arms, then walk out proudly with her. Yet, the doctors were yet to do their final check so they had to wait at least another twenty minutes. Annie wasn't there at that moment, she was getting the house ready for Dione's return. Chris and Annie were sure they would be able to take her home so they were cleaning up for her just in case. Because he didn't want to disappoint her daughter he said yes they were going to go home soon. Dione clung to him after he had said that, holding him close on the bed as she held her rabbit in her free hand. Chris had bought her that rabbit and ever since that day she had never been without it when she slept.

The doctor arrived after the twenty minutes like promised but… there was one promise Chris couldn't keep. Dione had to stay in at least another week in the hospital. They thought she would get over the rough patch she had right now… they weren't to know that in the next week, they would be where they were right now. Without Dione. He never did get to keep that promise he made to Dione and he bet that she hated him because of it. That fact alone caused more tears to fall.

(Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
Love is all that I want
And I find it there in your heart
It isn't so hard to see
We're in heaven.)

He looked again, at their little girl. She looked as if she was only sleeping. But it had been confirmed over and over again for their sakes that she was dead. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe she was better off wherever she was now. Away from all the pain and suffering this world would put her into it. He wasn't going to let anyone forget about his little angel, that was what he used to call her. His little angel because she was so angelic, free and beautiful. He never wanted to loose her… and now that he had… it was tearing him inside… he looked at Annie… the doctors said they could take as long as they wanted with her but that was tearing him up even more, how could he stay in the same room that was the room where his life went downhill?

Chris stood up, walking over to the bed, fighting not to stop and run away. Moving his hand against the snowy skin of his angel, he leant forward and kissed her forehead, tears falling from his eyes, hitting her forehead as he pulled back. "I love you." He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go but he knew he couldn't do that. His eyes kept looking at her as he told himself inside how it was better this way, even though he had already said that over and over again. Annie was in tears, she was having to go and say goodbye next… he didn't want to be there when she did, that would make him collapse and die even more. He walked out of the room, looking at the wall.

"Oh somebody, tell me its not true."

This was what went through his mind as he clutched his hand into a fist, hitting the wall, in tears. He could hear in the background the faint sobbing of his wife, he didn't want to do this. He never thought it would be this hard. He was never going to breathe Dione's love again… if he could have her back… if he would be able to get rid of this pain and sorrow… he would do anything. He didn't want this. This wasn't fair, even if it was something that happened a lot. It was a disease that many people died from. Yet, let's be honest, he never thought it would happen to someone close to him and that was why he felt so terrible. He couldn't prevent it… because he didn't expect it…

(Oh… we're in heaven.)

Leaning against the wall, Chris looked up to the ceiling, moving his hand to wipe away his tears. There wasn't anyone else here… his parents didn't care anymore. He always felt pushed away from where Leo and Piper were concerned, Wyatt was always more preferred to him. Maybe that was why he left the Halliwell's and became Chris Perry… but right now, he'd do anything for his mother to hold him. He looked to the door, Annie had just walked out. He moved his arm out and pulled her close. This would be the hardest thing in the world… how was he going to move on from this. Maybe people, heartlessly, had told him he'd get over it when he and Annie had more children but how could he trust himself to father another child after this had happened? He didn't know… all that he knew was he'd never be over the joy and love of his daughter… who hopefully was safe and secure in heaven.