Authors Note: Remember that one episode when Itachi and Kisame visit Naruto in an apartment. Well this is what happened and what should have happened in that episode.

Ingredients: Humor and more humor.

Behind the Door

By finalfantasy6961

It was a sunny day at this Tanzaku Town, and I stopped to look at my perverted sensei, in which he stopped to a few steps away from me. I've noticed something about his eyes, they were shaped as harts. When I turn to look, I though figures, but I also fell for it.

What made both our eyes turn into pink harts was a pretty woman; she looked about the age 20. Who cares! All of a sudden the lady noticed us and with her hand she removed a part of her bangs from her face, giving us a sassy wink.

That got us excited, both of us jumping on her feet; I then heard my perverted sensei call my name, "Yeah!"I said still excited. He took hold of my hand and placed a key on it. "Look, here the keys, go up to the room, eat something, practice your chakra control, and go to bed ok." he said rapidly.

I clenched the key into a fist, "What! But I thought you were going to train me today." "Naruto I don't have time to baby sit you. I have more important things to do." Turn away from the blond; Naruto noticed a tint aof red on his pervy sage's cheeks. Jiraya took hold of the woman's shoulder and walked to a bar.

Dragging himself to the room, he thought of never going to learn a new jutsu in time. Closing the door he laid himself flat on the rented bed. He fell to sleep….Knock Knock!

H e awoke from a dream he just had. Why would he fight in the chunnin exams with only a pink tutu on.

Behind the door was one of the hotels maids, "Room service." "I didn't order any room service." He said looking at the cart filled with covered up food. "Nonsense, you've ordered it now you've got it," she said pushing in the cart. "But…" The maid left…without pay? Naruto though.

"Oh well might as well eat it." There was a wide verity of food, sushi, tempura, rice balls, dango, and sweet tea. It was a sin to waste food, he ate it all. Not chewing led him to minor choking.

Somewhere in another room;

"God damn it Phil" said the rich man. "I said that the food will come in a little while so just wait!" "A little while was two hours ago!" he yelled. "Well excuse me for not bringing in the food earlier, you rich, lazy jackass." He yelled again. The fighting increased mean while Naruto ate the whole thing.

"Ugh… that was the best meal I had in a long time." He said patting his extended belly.

Knock Knock!

Slowly he walked towards the door. What are the odds of a mid- thirty year old man, wearing only a teddy bear suit, holding a box of chocolates and balloons, behind your door.

"Telegram." The bear held out a piece of paper, "For…Kelly." 'I'm not Kelley' that's what Naruto wanted to say but the bear started singing.

*Dear Kelley your pretty, but here's some bad news…um ….from your boy friend Zack…so…your boy friend wants to break up with you today, today, your boy friend wants to break up with you today, Hey!"

He handed the confused blond the balloons and chocolates.

"I'm not Kelly." He finally said. --_--"

"Oh…" the bear said. "Well I'm going to quit anyway."

There was an awkward pause. "Want to come inside?" the blond said.

"Sure…" the bear led himself in. Naruto and the bear ate the chocolates ignoring the rather odd experience.

Somewhere in another room;

A pretty Kelly sat in the middle of her living, waiting for her not so boyfriend.

Naruto and the bear were at their last piece of candy, figuring out who will have it. "Go ahead, you deserve it." Said the bear staring at the caramel inserted chocolate. "No, no, I would feel much better if you had it." He said while staring at it—

Knock, Knock!

Naruto stood up to answer the door, while not looking the bear snatched the chocolate from it container and quickly ate it.

"So…what is it that you need?" he asked the young man with a straw hat and a Hawaiian shirt on. "Just a room that we could party in for the night." Naruto looked behind the smiling man. Two women and three men. They were all wearing a Hawaiian theme. "What do you say bear?" Naruto asked. "I say I'm depressed." "Good enough for me! Come in!" =D

Music was played, dancing took place and beer was passed around.

BEER!

"Hey you guys can't drink in here." Naruto was taken by the neck only to press against some ladies breasts. "Oh come on lighten up." She pressed the rim of beer filled cup in his lips. The liquid went through him and so did the alcohol…

Somewhere in Tanzaku…

A raven haired boy was running through the crowed. "Where are Naruto?"When running Sasuke didn't catch to see the rock laying there. H e tripped over it making him land on his knee. The pain was sharp, he held on to his knee, ignoring the laughter of some people. "Ow…Fuck!" =(

Somewhere in Tanzaku…Besides where Sasuke was….

"Itachi-san…shouldn't we be heading out to capture the jinnchuuriky, by now" Kisame asked.

"Wait until I'm finished with my dango, for now be a good boy…and get me more tea." He said jiggling the empty cup. The shark faced man snatched the cup away from the Uchiha, grumbling, "Stupid fat assed Uchiha…"

"I heard that."

"Good!"

Back in the room…

"Whooo!" the blond yelled and turned to his depressed friend. "Are you having fuuun!"

"Who that?" he wobbled towards the door.

There was a man in a suit and tie, holding a big check worth $10,000. Behind the stranger there was a camera man. "Congratulations Francisco you've just won $10,000. How do you feel?" Naruto just took the damn thing, "Like if it was the best day of my life! Hey everyone… I've just won big money."

"YAAAAAY" from everyone.

The party lasted about 5 hours, with all the alcohol, and crazy blond. When again…

Knock, Knock!

"Saaasuke?? What you doin' here?"

"What do you think, you Jack hole!!" : (

Naruto dragged Sasuke in; he took notice of his bleeding knee. And bent down. From others point of view it looked nasty. "Naruto, what are you doing can't you see you're in danger." Sasuke said pushing the idiot away from him. "Danger…" he said too close to the others face.

(When people are drunk they behave differently, for Naruto's sake its anger and pointing out the obvious.)

"Saaaasuke…"

"What…"

"You have a face!"

Sasuke's hand connecting on his forehead, into a slap. He then felt a hard pull on one of his bangs. "What the hell's wrong with your hair, Sasuke it looks like a chicken's ass?" Sasuke slapped his hand away from him, gripping firmly on Naruto shoulders. "Naruto you're in deep trouble get out of here while you still can."

Knock, Knock!

"WHAAT!" Naruto yelled at the door. Ignoring the annoyed Uchiha.

Behind the door….

"Sounds like a party." Kisame said. "Ignore it lets just pick up the kid and go" The door was answered from a drunken blond kid. They both tried looking evilly, but failed.

"What the hell do you want?"

They walked to the corner of the hall, and whispered, "He's drunk. This makes it easier." said kisame. They walked back to the boy. "Naruto come wi—"

"What kind of male strippers are you guys."

"What!? Don't you know who we are?" "You're a bunch of losers." He yelled Kisame got angry, "listen you brat." Then Itachi branched his arm over Kisame. "Enough…" he looked over the drunken jinchuuriky. "We're sorry, looks like we've got the wrong room." He noticed a familiar kid in the room and so did he. As they were about to leave, Itachi waved, "See you sometime around Sasuke."

…

The party lasted until 3:00pm morning. Every one left and took their stuff away. Except the big check and Sasuke. Naruto had a hangover, while Sasuke was feeling traumatized. Later, Jiraya came back. "Did you practice, Naruto." Ignoring Sasukes presence.

"Pervy Sage! …You can walk?"

It will be great to review.

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