Dear Eternity

Notes: A Reno centric diary style story with ReTi in it. Enjoy! Oh and I don't own FFVII or any characters in it! Rating is open to change, depending on how Reno's vocabulary and choice of memories goes. Oh and there are hints of the following couples: Cleris and Yuffentine. Sorry if there is a lot of VII and Advent Children spoilers.

Dear eternity,

In all of my years of life, my mind hasn't grown a day older. Always the same, never changing. In my childhood I was often considered mature beyond my years, or so I recall. Yet when I met the age that I had the equal mind of I didn't grow any further. Destiny preset me to always be about twenty years mentally. Of course I've had many of my personal opinions and ideas change but over all my outlook and personality has stayed stagnant. And I remember when I was but a boy of four. I would sit outside when it rained and look up. Concentrating, I would reach up and try to grab the skies to understand why she was crying. I wanted to ask her why she was sad. Now I know better than that. Sure, I may act like an idiot some times and Hell! Perhaps I am a little dim or just short sighted. In all these years I haven't looked in the mirror and said, "There stands a mature and wise man". Who the fuck would do that to themselves? Well, maybe that Cloud guy. He's a sort of "lost cause". My babe is always telling me about how he's still dealing with himself and those idiotic personal problems. For Heaven's sake man, you're only twenty-four! You're too damn young to be having a mid life crisis! As for me, I will stay ever stagnant with this mind of mine and avoid personality problems until I hit at least forty.

What would this life be with out my lady luck by my side? I'm not speaking metaphorically either. It seems like when she's around me good stuff just happens. And it's more than just that time I found two thousand gil laying on the ground when we were walking together. Some how I think my missions go easier, my health has been better, and I don't feel quite as isolated as before. Sure, it has put a small rift between Rude and I but not even a woman can destroy our friendship. She's just a topic that we don't discuss. And every day, I look forward to my time after work at Seventh Heaven not for the alcohol, although it's nice, but to see her. It's too bad she won't allow any PDA in the bar because I'd leap over the counter for a kiss if I could. But if I tried my face would likely be met with a fist rather than lips. But oh she is quite the looker too. It isn't just the fantastic breasts either! Her tiny waist, lovely curved hips, face of Aphrodite, and hair like silk. I wouldn't give her up for all the liquor and women in the world. And she realizes that when she chose me she wasn't getting a prize pig, either. I'm rough, have a bad past, not the finest looking man in Edge, and live check to check. But she doesn't mind. It felt weird that she was able to forgive me after I dropped the sector-seven plate. But that's my baby! Nicest lady in all of Gaia!

I find it difficult to function with out the proper motivation. Besides I hardly know what motivates me anymore. Is it just a job well done? Or perhaps I'm looking for divine reward? Hell if I know! I hardly understand myself sometimes. You know how you yearn for something but you don't know what it is until you get it? It's like that! I'm like, "Reno, what do you want outta life?" and I can't think of an answer! Yet, I can't do squat with out hoping something good will come of it. For an honest example, when I dropped the plate I had a lot to consider first. My mind was filtering all of the pros and cons as I ascended the stairs on that pillar. Even while I was fighting Cloud and his crew I was still toying with idea of botching the mission intentionally. Had I done that, what would become of Shin-Ra or…me? I had my reasons. Everyone does. And those reasons will stay locked in this old noggin of mine. I can't let anyone see my weakness. If you come off as weak people push you around, ya know? But…everyone isn't strong all the time. I bet even old chocobo head as times when he just can't stand up and fight. And Tifa…that girl is as tough as cement but she has times when her smile fades and she's reduced to nothing. Then, there's me. The smart talkin', haughty Turk. I got enough lip for both Rude and me. But you know, sometimes I wish I could be the quiet one. Instead I have to be strong. I gotta be an inspiration to Rude, Elena, and Tseng. Because…if they faltered then the Turks are done for. So it's my job to keep them up and not show that side of me that wants to give up.

"Reno, you got all this talent and nothing to do with it!" That's what my old man always said. When I was a kid the sky was the fucking limit but in the end I grew…comfortable in a position of dependency. "Stop being a bum, you ingrate! Get a job before I boot your ass outta here!" The old man was right to say it. I sat on my ass, never lifting a finger for him or ma. Eventually he kicked me out and I started working at a bar, wasting my aforementioned "talents". Pop had always said I'd have made a great architect. I liked to draw and design and stuff but where could I get a job doing that? I ended up applying for a position in the Urban Development Department at Shin-Ra Electric Power Company. It was fucking Hell! I sat there drawing up designs for industrial housing and every time I presented an idea they rejected it. With out even a look at it no less! I was about throw my Shin-Ra badge in the trash and quit 'til this guy called Verdot approached me. "I saw you at a bar the other night. You got into a scuffle. You're an excellent fighter. Let's talk…" After that I was no longer Reno the intern but Reno the Turk. Not only was it a big paycheck jump but also a big respect booster. Before, people sent me to get 'em coffee all the time but now they started treating me as an equal…or more. I have to say, with that position I got a lot of tail. Chicks dig a man in espionage and such. I became a regular James Bond!

Soon, though, the nature of my job started to change. The Turks were no longer just spies and SOLDIER scouts. We became assassins as well. Rude was the top one in this department. Though you may not guess it, he's an ace with a sniper rifle. He can nail a guy in the head from eighty miles away. Plus he never removes his sunglasses while working, even when he needs to peak through a scope. He and I were originally partnered together because I was better at close quarters fighting than him. If he missed his shot it was my job to jump in there and take out not only the target but also any spectators. Out of this gruesome occupation grew my greatest friendship.

The day I met Rude was an ominous one. Verdot was setting up the mission schedule and paired us up. Before I really knew him, I figured he was the quiet all work and no play sort. I was hostile towards him, making one snide comment after another. Be it about his baldhead or just the way he walked, I had something stupid to say. But Rude never even winced. He was like a fucking brick wall. My pride wouldn't let him win so I just kept pestering him. It wasn't until I saw him actually complete a mission did I gain respect for old baldy. He did it quick, clean, and effectively. I'm certain the person only felt the pain for a fraction of a second before falling on the ground dead. After that, I began to pursue him as a friend. I was young so I thought he was the coolest thing since myself! I'm glad I did. When we were almost reassigned partners I put up a huge fuss. Tseng gave in after a four-hour bitch out. I guess I just don't like things I value being suddenly taken from me. Not that I "own" Rude or nothin'. I just don't want to work with anyone other than my best friend.

In retrospect, maybe I should have respected Rude's feelings for Tifa, although he never called "dibs" on her. He and I use that to determine who can have what girl. It's a verbal race for flirting rights. I guess I assumed too much though. Rude is pretty quiet as it is and I'm guessing he clams up even more over a girl he has feelings for. And I don't blame 'im for liking her either! She's a beauty and a sweet heart with a brain in that pretty head. I remember when I asked her out too. The President had allowed us a nice vacation after Kadaj and his posse were dealt with so I just hung around Edge. Due to my passion for fine vodka, I began hangin' out at Seventh Heaven. Well, spending every night chatting with a gorgeous lady is sure to lead somewhere, right? My memory is a little hazy; I may have been a bit tipsy at the time, but I distinctly remember asking her, "So how are you and old Spiky head doin'?" She looked a little sad and told me that he had taken off. Apparently he saw that dead flower peddler out somewhere near Corel. What an idiot! He takes off looking for a dead chick when there is a perfectly good babe sittin' right in front of him? Well I'm not one for just sitting by and seeing how things play out and went straight for the kill. "Wanna go out some time?" She looked over at me curious. Guess I caught her off guard or something! Eventually, a sly grin grew across her pale face and I was met with a lovely "sure". After that is all history. Rude gave me dirty looks for a while after he heard the news. Elena flapped her lips to him about it while we were drinkin'. I was too wasted to deny it. But he and I are still friends. She's just a topic that is off limits for us these days.

Now you're thinking "You're bonded with Rude but what of Elena and Tseng", right? What a pair those two! Tseng is my commander so I can't really say too much on him aside from his "all business" attitude. But some times guilt gets in the way of business. I remember when Sephiroth burned Nibelheim to the ground. Hojo ordered us to deal with the civilians. It wrenched at ol' Tseng's heart. He didn't just straight up deny the order but asked if it was "necessary". Hojo seemed to think it was. So now the place is nothin' but Shin-Ra hired actors pretending to be villagers. It was the only way Shin-Ra could cover up the massacre and cloning. Tseng also sent Rude and Elena's sis to deal with that tough ass SOLDIER. I think they called him Zack or something. Any way, it appeared to me that our fearless leader began to show some weakness. I'm guessing this guy was a buddy of his. Well, I'd feel pretty rotten too if I had to send people to murder a friend of mine…As to Elena, although she was childish in her early days; which was sadly during the Sephiroth crisis, she has really grown up. She takes our missions really seriously but has a fun streak in her capable of relaxing. I'm glad too. She spoiled our vacation in Wutai back in her novice days. I have to give the gal props though. She and Tseng did great work using the net guns to catch the president. Had it not been for them, Rude and I would have had an unpleasant memory to deal with. So yeah, I feel bonded to them. I nearly went ape shit when I saw the blood spattered ID cards. The Turks are a family, you know? I saved Elena once from Don Corneo and I'm willin' to go up to bat for her, or any other Turk, again!

Thinking of vacations in Wutai, I went there just recently! It's a great place, you know? It's probably my favorite vacation spot, beating even Costa Del Sol. Yeah, I remember I went climbing on the mountain statue of their god and I saw ol' Dracula there. Well not literally Dracula but that vampire guy. He was bein' dragged around by that little ninja chick who had been caught with Elena four years ago. I spoke with 'em for a bit and found out that they were on their way to investigate the northern crater. Apparently the ninja wanted to make a quick prayer for a safe trip, forcing the vampy with her. But you know, he didn't look too pissed off. Maybe a little stressed but over all he seemed at least at ease with her. Was he just appeasing 'er or actually having a genuinely good time? Hell if I know.

Things between spike head and me hasn't changed a bit. He seems to regard me with either hostility or belittling. It's really irritating too. Where does that pointy haired fuck get off treating me like that? Besides, it ticks me off how he treats Tifa! So is she just supposed to put up with your crap and never do anything aside from raise those kids? He's a selfish jerk-off, that Cloud! All he seems to care about is that dead woman. I mean, sure it is okay to be devoted to a late lover but c'mon! Running off somewhere because you think you saw them in a field? Now that's just crazy talk! So is he claiming that Aerith lady now haunts a flower field or something? I guess I owe the guy though. He has saved the world like two times. But I heard a big part of it goes to that Aerith woman. Though Cloud beat up the baddies, she swooped in and dealt with the big problem. She destroyed meteor, cured geostigma, and apparently melted Kadaj and his gang with her healing rain! What's with that? But hey! Thanks doll! You saved the world and cured the president! But ya know, I hope she's finally findin' her peace in the planet. Haunting is supposed to be a bad thing, right?

On a trip to Cosmo Canyon, I decided to take a pit stop in Rocket Town. Holy Hell, that place is crazy these days! 'parently there's huge "oil deposits" under their town. Not that I actually know what that means. There was huge machinery everywhere and lots of signs sayin' "No smoking". Shera told me this stuff is highly flammable so she put up the sign as a safety precaution. I could tell already it was aimed at that Cid guy. Her husband is a chain smoker if I've ever seen one. While I was there I also ran into another face. This one made my stomach turn with guilt. Barrett. But he acted like he didn't even remember me killing all of his friends with the plate. He and I ate lunch on a bench and discussed Tifa and the kids. Sounded like he wanted to see Marlene again. I don't blame 'im. If she were my kid I'd be with her as much as I could. Cute as a button and sweet as honey. I think if I had kids at all I'd be with 'em often. Believe it or not, fatherhood looks pretty good to me. I have a fun laid-back attitude that kids enjoy. Tifa and I often take Denzel and Marlene to the park and stuff. Good times, ya know?

Life back in Junon wasn't so bad. There was ma, pops, and my little brother. I remember dreading school every day, like all kids. I had a teacher named Mrs. Erand. That old granny made my life miserable. I remember hiding during recess so that when the other kids went in I didn't. Mrs. Erand was always yelling at me for one thing or another. "Reno! Sit up straight!" or "Reno, you did the problem all wrong! What is wrong with you!?" That old bat always had something to bitch about. Well I went back to Junon a while ago. Apparently the old hag is still up and kickin'. Plus she acted all nice to me. Trying to score points with the man up stairs before she kicks off I guess. And being back in town made me feel odd. Edge and Midgar felt more like home than this depressing seaside piss hole. I mean Edge is kinda gloomy with its all grey motif but this place was worse. Everyone looked sore about somethin'. Even little Pricilla didn't smile and she was the sunniest person in Junon, as far as I recall. Plus Mr. Dolphin doesn't come around any more. He was like the town pet. Even I was endeared by that aquatic critter. Now that he's gone, some how it just doesn't have that "family" feeling any more. Junon just isn't my home these days.

Grandma lived out in Gongaga so I saw her rarely. Plus she died when the reactor there exploded. I loved that woman a lot, ya know? Every summer we'd go and see 'er and she'd have my favorite snack. See, she made these chocolate things I call Foowumps. They had a spongy look and when you squash it down it made a "foo" sound. Then, when you released, it snapped back into place and made a "wump" sound. I know that sounds stupid but I was a kid! Tifa sometimes tries to make them but they're never as good as grandma's. Still, I felt a little guilty over her death. I'm a Shin-Ra employee and it was a Shin-Ra reactor that killed her. She was one of the people who were against it being put there. She thought a town as small as Gongaga didn't need a reactor. Shin-Ra isn't the kind of company that takes no for an answer. So they built the reactor…and it exploded and made Gongaga almost unsuitable for human life.

I'll write to you again soon when I feel like telling you more of my inner thoughts. Sure I'm not totally honest and open with you but this the best I've ever been.

Reno

Hope you all enjoyed that. Chapter 2 will be out soon and even longer. I love Reno and he's such an enigmatic character. Dear Eternity has moved me to write an Axel x Tifa story for KH2. Axel is exactly like Reno! It's incredible! Well see ya in chapter 2!