When I got kicked out the first time I tried to change. Honest, I did. Sometimes it's just really hard to kick old habits, y'know. I was clean for a while but I just... I slipped up. That's how I ended up on this plane going to Shitsville, a.k.a. Forks, Washington. I mean honestly, who names a town "Forks"? What's next, "Spoons"? Oh, sorry for that ADD moment.
After my mom married Phil is when things started to change really, suddenly I had a curfew, no friends on week nights, so I rebelled. I admit I went a bit overboard. I started using. I got into things I swore to myself I wouldn't. My mom says I was always so smart, so what the hell happened?
...
Charlie picked me up at the airport. There was no hug hello. I was greatful for that. It was raining outside, as I presumed it would.
We drove to his house, our house, in silence. It wasn't too long ago that I'd been in the back of a police cruiser. It was a relief to be riding shotgun this time. There was a beat up, old, red truck in the driveway. He said it was for me.
He told me supper would be ready in half an hour and that my keys were on the bedside table in my room. He let me unpack myself, a task my mother would never have been able to accomplish. The room was exactly how I remembered it, except for a dusty old computer in the corner of the room. I unpacked quickly, alarmed by the smell of something burning coming from the kitchen.
It was when I arrived in the kitchen that I realized I'd have to take care of someone again. It was oddly comforting. I made a silent vow to myself that I'd stay clean this time, not for me, but for Charlie. I'd go to school, do my homework, cook meals, jut like old times.
Charlie had on this odd half smile as I helped him clean up and cook a new batch of spaghetti. It seemed as though he wanted to say something, but I wasn't going to ask him full out what was on his mind. I did aquire some manners in my first seventeen years.
After we finished eating, I washed the dishes, set my alarm and took a quick shower. When I finally laid down I realized I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. The rain had intensified, drops pounding against the roof. I turned on the light and located my CD player. I put in a Beatles CD and quickly drifted off to sleep.
The next morning I made breakfast for Charlie and myself. My legs had the jumpies. I felt confined in the small house we shared. My body needed a hit, but my mind was trying to fight it. I decided I should head to school early.
The school was a small cluster of buildings just of the main highway. It felt wierd going into school without first going through metal detectors. I went into what I presumed was the main office. A small, somewhat plump woman greeted me.
"Good morning, how may I help you?" she inquired.
"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan," I said, trying on a sweet smile, my voice sounding fakely chipper to even my own ears. She didn't seem to notice, and if she did I presumed she had enough troubles as is to concern herself with those of a seventeen year old. "I'm new."
"Oh yes, Isabella, we have ben expecting you." She handed me my schedule and a map. She also handed me six slips of paper, for each of my teachers to sign and for me to return to her.
I hurried back to my truck, tripping over my own feet as I proceeded. I had time to kill. I decided it would be best to try to memorize my map, hoping I would need as little help as possible.
My morning passed almost uneventfully. It consisted of many eyes that seemed magnetically drawn to my presence and alot of blushing on my part. A couple teachers made me introduce myself, which was embarassing to say the least.
Lunch finally arrived, my stomach growling as I made it into the cafeteria. I had aquired a few new friends from my classes. One called Mike kept casting flirtacious eyes in my direction, while his girlfriend (I assumed), Jessica, kept glaring at him. I felt eyes upon me, but that seemed common here, in a place where their grandparents had known each other since they were in diapers it was uncommon to have a transfer student. I looked around trying to find one friendly face, other than Angela, a girl who was in a few of my classes and seemed to genuinely enjoy my company and oppinions. I liked her already. It seemed that everyone was looking at me, except one table.
The table had five occupants, all of whom were, for lack of better words, completely beautiful. There were two girls, who seemed to be polar opposites. One, small, pixieish girl, with short black hair, the other was tall, blond and was the kind of girl where every other girl in the room's self esteem took a hit as soon as she entered it. There were three boys, one tall, buff and oblivious looking, another frustrated looking blonde, and the last a perplexing one with bronze colored hair that looked a little more a boy than a man.
I turned to my closest companion, Jessica, and asked, "Who is that?" His head flicked up as though he'd been called.
She glanced in the direction I was looking. "Him? He's Edward Cullen. Don't even think about it Bella," she told me. "He doesn't date. Appearantly the girls at our school aren't pretty enough for him." I couldn't really blame him for being superficial though, I mean he was gorgeous. There was something in her tone that told me she'd been rejected by him quite a few times. A smile played on my lips as I imagines the possibilities.
Jessica then went into a long rambling about the Cullen family, in which i turned in and out, smiled and nodded politely. I was still staring in his general direction. My eyes locked with his and I quickly turned my head away, blushing violently, hiding in my hair. When I looked up again the family had left my field of vision. I looked at my watch. I quickly gathered my things and headed to my Biology class.
Angela walked me to class, for which i was relieved, thank God it wasn't Mike. We arrived in the classroom on time. I looked around. Mike was there, gag me, but so was Edward Cullen. The seat beside his was the only empty one. I watched as he gathered his things that were splayed across the table we would be sharing. I slowly walked to the table, careful not to trip over anything, I concentrated on the floor. My eyes shifted towards Edward just once. He was glaring at me. He had the same look on his face as Phil did that night...
I quickened my pace, tripping over a stray bag and almost falling onto one girl. I felt my face heat up. I sat next to him. He glared at me harder. His fist was clenched. I made a curtain between him and myself with my hair, hiding my face. I shot a glance at him through my hair. He was still glaring. I felt my eyes moisten but blinked back the tears that were on the verge of falling.
The hour lasted what seemed like forever. I spent it hiding behind my hair and doodling on my notebook. He looked at me as though he loathed me, as if he knew what I was.
The next hour flew by and I retreated to my truck, the one safe haven I've found in this sunshine devoid place. I revved the engine and sped off, well as much speed as you can get from an old, crappy truck. A hollow ache spred throughout my body. I felt an odd loneliness. I pushed it to the back of my mind and concentrated on the road.
I got home and did the homework I'd aquired throughout my first day. I hadn't done homework since a year after Phil, since I'd met Shayna. I struggled at first, some of the math gave me trouble, but math had never been my strong point. I read ahead in my biology textbook, preparing myself for the next week or so.
I made dinner for myself and Charlie. He arrived home later than I expected. "Supper's in the oven Dad," I said. I wasn't allowed calling him Charlie to his face.
I went to bed after I washed the dishes Charlie used.
I dreamed of the life I used to have, free of worries and regrets. There was only one difference. A bronze haired stranger, always with his back turned, seemed to linger in my memories. When I awoke I knew who he was, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I will not fall in love with Edward Cullen.