Summary: He had no idea how this had ever happened, really. It was supposed to be Kudo and Shirogane, but for some reason...it wasn't. /KaiNao, crossover pairing/

GA: Dedicated to my Naoto (and Heiji now) RP partner Kio. I hate you for making me ship a weird, cracky crossover ship, but I probably would've shipped it anyways. Hint, the pairing is Naoto x Kaito. Yeah. I'm not quite sure, either.

Enjoy?

STARTED

He had no damn idea how this had ever happened. Ever since the very first day the duo had moved to Inaba, Shinichi because of Megure's transferal and Kaito to follow his detective friend's shenanigans, everybody had assumed that "Detective Prince" Shirogane and "Prince of Fools" Kudo would hit it off, right off the bat. And they had, really.

…ah, maybe that was where it had started.

Kaito still remembered the very first heist he had pulled in Inaba, the Shadow Stone. All of his detectives had been there, he had been happy to see, Shinichi and Hakuba and even the bluenette that he quickly adopted into his little collection. Three geniuses against one mentally deranged - hey, he admitted it at least - thief, and it was the most fun he had had in a very long while. Shinichi had caught him at the rooftop, yes, and Hakuba had stayed downstairs, still unconscious thanks to his newly-patented sleeping spray, but the in between was exhilarating, the chase from point A to point B that was headed by his new tantei-chan who didn't back down from a challenge.

He wasn't quite sure why he was proud of not one, but two figures against the midnight backdrop, but his meitantei and his tantei-chan both served him well. And the way they looked together…well.

The next day, he had awoken to Shinichi and Shirogane talking animatedly about ways to capture KID, their conversation pausing only briefly as Shinichi greeted Kaito, a knowingly condescending twinkle in his eye, and Shirogane nodded at him without much of a second thought, although she did glance at him as he left (he would never not notice when somebody found interest in him, be it romantic interest or interest in his night job, and she learned that quickly enough).

It wasn't until twenty-three minutes later and he was already opening his third pack of Pocky that he realized he was wearing nothing but his KID boxers.

The second, third, fourth heists were the same, and every morning, Kaito would walk into the living room on his way to the kitchen, thankfully more clothed than that first day, to see Shinichi and Naoto chatting, sometimes casual conversation over tea and other times heated arguments that always eventually ended in fits of laughter from both parties. They were good for each other…

…and it rubbed him the wrong way.

At first he thought it was because tantei-chan was stealing meitantei away from him. Shinichi had always been his, his doppelganger and his detective and his best friend- Shinichi was the only thing Kaito had in this godforsaken town, and he was going to be stolen by a girl who was supposed to catch thieves, not be one.

However, it wasn't that he was uncomfortable with how much Shinichi spoke of Shirogane - she came up in conversation at least once every time the two of them talked now, Kaito swore he was going to have to start a "Shirogane Naoto Bechdel Test" for the poor boy - but rather how much she talked to him.

Kaito and Shirogane didn't talk much, just on the rare days where Kaito had to pick Shinichi up from the office, or tantei-chan came over to see Shinichi and Kaito just happened to be the one to answer the door. Their brief interactions were awkward at best, simple hellos and how's the weathers that were often broken by Shinichi's presence, at which both of them would latch onto him as a buffer against having to talk to each other. Which was odd, really, since Kaito was usually much better with people than this and talking to Shirogane should not have been as hard as it was.

Except it was, and he was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that the feeling he had come to register with Shirogane was one of jealousy.

Well this wasn't good.

Things blew up at the station's annual Christmas party, an event so catastrophically bad year after year that it was a surprise the Inaba PD was still being funded at all. It was…disastrous, to say the least, and that was an apropos descriptor before the party even started. The tree was bending unnaturally against the ceiling, the punch was spiked so hard that it smelled like 99% vodka, and there was mistletoe hung right outside each bathroom.

Apparently, though, the entire workforce still thought it was a good idea to get completely hammered, save for the few responsible detectives, and Kaito was dragged along as backup-slash-sober buddy. It was infinitesimally awkward to be one of the only sober ones there, amidst a group of people who made you wish you were drunk enough to deal with them, and it was only made worse by his sober company.

Shinichi and Shirogane.

Which wouldn't have been a bad thing if it weren't for the fact that Shinichi had been avoiding him all freaking night to hang out with Shirogane, of all people. They had scuttled off into the crowd, and had left Kaito all by his lonesome, in the midst of nobody but drunken police officers. He had already been "arrested" three times by rookies who thought he looked like KID (well they weren't wrong, but still.), not to mention the commissioner spilled vodka-punch all over his only dress shirt (that didn't come out of his dad's wardrobe).

And just when he thought it couldn't get much worse, there was a cheer from behind the Christmas tree, where a rather large number of people were huddled in their drunken stupor (he really had to wonder how strong that vodka was, maybe they mixed it with some moonshine or something). They moved as a single mass, a single, drunken, swaying mass, and almost as a moderately-coordinated unit, threw a quite-less-intoxicated-yet-still-properly-buzzed figure in front of him.

"Shirogane-san?"

"Kudo…-kun." It took her a moment to address him, and he noticed that while her speech was definitely slower than before - her attempts at not bumbling too badly, he assumed - she was still poised and proper. He had to hand it to her, even a drunken KID had trouble keeping his poker face on, whereas a drunken Shirogane knew how to handle herself in any given situation. He also noticed that he had been mistaken for Shinichi once again, but shoved that thought out of his mind. It wasn't good to be thinking such things when it made his gut twist like it did.

He would have called her drunkenness endearing, if he were anybody else. As it was, though, nothing was said. Out loud. "It's Kuroba, Shirogane-san. Shinichi is in the bathroom. And what are you doing? I thought we were supposed to be driving everybody home."

"Everybody's home is within proper…walking distance," she managed to get out without too much of a stumble in her vocabulary, "and they practically…forced the substance down my throat." Her face was flushed red from the alcohol, and she turned away from him, frowning.

For a split second, worry overtook the general awkwardness that usually surrounded them, and he frowned as well, turning her ever so slightly so that she was facing him again. "Shirogane-san, are you o-"

"Will you go out with me?"

His mind failed to work for a good seconds as he processed her words. Uh. What?

And of course, his words back didn't particularly help the situation. "But…I'm supposed to say that." Because that was logically the thing to say when being asked out by a drunk detective. Well, in his defense, it was the first thought that had come to mind, because the guy was supposed to ask the girl - although he supposed that Naoto never really did go by normal societal conventions- but that was beside the point-

"Well you hadn't…askedmeyet," the casualness of her voice (disregarding the speech impediment) practically gave him a heart attack and he mildly wondered if he was on Punk'd, or if the Japanese equivalent of Ashton Kutcher would come bursting out of the Christmas tree and attempt to give him a massive wedgie while he was at it, just to pour salt on his wounded ego. "So I deduced. That I had to do it." He glanced frantically around the room as she continued, hoping to find anything that made a modicum of sense and didn't give him heart palpitations that threatened to bruise his ribs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Shinichi watching them out of the corner of his eye from where he had just stepped out of the restroom, and the organ used primarily in blood circulation began to fall. That explained a lot of things. Naoto was drunk, a vast majority of the party was drunk, and Kaito looked extremely similar to Shinichi when sober. Hell, she had even mistaken him for Shinichi when she had first came up to him. Which meant that he had received a confession meant for Shinichi, and that made a lot more sense than what was currently going on. He would just open his mouth, make noises that sounded like words, and gently reject her-

"Okay."

Kuroba Kaito, that was not a rejection.

Kaito woke up with a headache the next day, with a very hungover Naoto (in her drunken stupor, she had convinced him to call her Naoto, and how the hell could he say no to the person that he may have a tiny crush on and who had just asked him out moments before) in his bed and himself on the couch because for the love of god he wasn't a terrible person.

They sorted things out, and, much to Kaito's surprise - he had been expecting her to ask him to pretend as if it had never happened - she had asked if they could keep up the facade for at least a month. He understood her reasoning, especially since he knew how mortifying it must have been just to admit that she confessed to the wrong person. She didn't need to have her reputation tarnished further than that, not by a one-night stand (that didn't even happen) or a one-day failed relationship (that also technically didn't happen). He had agreed almost immediately, only needing-

("I know you're Kaitou KID."

"Are you blackmailing me?!")

-minimal persuasion.

Although, he admitted that his "fake dates" with Naoto were pretty fun. She geeked over Sherlock Holmes, which wasn't the best thing to do when you were going out with an internationally wanted criminal - the next time he heard an explanation on why "Elementary" wasn't Sherlock canon, he would shove his shoes down Hakuba's throat - but it was fun to listen to her talk so animatedly, so maybe it was okay. Maybe.

She was also considerate of his ichthyophobia, something that relatively few people were, his own mother included among the guilty party. The first time she had served him sushi, at which he promptly freaked out and ended up curling into a ball behind the sofa, she had apologized profusely and gotten rid of the offending food, replacing it instead with pork dumplings.

And although they absolutely agreed not to do anything physical, he did get to hold her hand, which was probably a lot nicer than he should have thought it would be and oh my god he was starting to sound like a schoolgirl with a crush.

He really couldn't wait until the month was up.

"Kaito-kun, I…don't think Shinichi-san is persuaded quite yet."

"Mm…another…week might not hurt. Maybe two."

"…maybe two."

Four months in - four months of they still don't seem convinced and maybe another week or so - and one of Naoto's closest friends was getting married, a beautiful bride with a beautiful April wedding. Of course, as Amagi Yukiko's bridesmaid, Naoto was expected to show up, and definitely not alone. Not when she had a boyfriend.

The first word that Kaito could use to describe Naoto's friends was terrifying. He was practically bombarded by questions the minute he had shown up with his arm linked with Naoto's, hair not quite gelled back (else he look even more like Shinichi than usual) and his tuxedo almost an exact replica of his KID suit, minus the cape and shoulder clasps. he recognized Kujikawa Rise - he really hoped she wouldn't recognize him as one of the backup singers from his heist that occurred the same day as her comeback concert - and had met Hanamura Yosuke and Narukami Yuu on several occasions, but there were also a few who he had never met before - although he swore up and down that Satonaka Chie was an exact replica of Mouri-chan.

(For that, Naoto had giggled, something he rarely had the opportunity to hear. Damnit, he was too far gone.)

Apparently he was "in" with Naoto's friends, which was great considering the fact that, while Chie was a very intimidating person, Kanji was more so and even the blond kid who looked too young for their group seemed ready to murder him if he so much as looked at Naoto the wrong way.

Although he had to wonder what the wrong way was, because he ended up staring at her for a good portion of the wedding. By good portion he meant, of course, roughly 97% of it, where the other three percent was dedicated to inwardly laughing at the ring boy who tripped over his own coattails and the flower girl who threw a handful of flowers directly into the priest's face. Naoto was stunning in her midnight blue dress, not too revealing as to make her uncomfortable but the perfect blend of elegant and sophisticated. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, a sigh that was supposed to be more contemplative but came out wistful and, dare he say it, appreciative.

At the end of the ceremony, Narukami had even patted him on the shoulder with a look that clearly read, you're completely whipped, and honestly? He had no way to retort.

The night after the wedding was pretty…pretty. It was pretty. He didn't know how to explain it, because he was still fueled by staring at Naoto all day and the single shot of baijiu he had at the after-party. Like hell he was getting drunk when he was sharing a hotel room with the girl he was kind-of-dating-but-not-really.

He was laying comfortably on the futon while he watched a Youtube recording of the latest Penn and Teller tricks ("Oh come on, he was obviously using a piano wire harness!"), wearing his annoyingly garish ensemble of KID pajama pants and the Arsene Lupin t-shirt that Naoto had wrapped his (store-bought) chocolates in for Valentine's Day, when she had turned over on the bed to look at him, wearing the over-sized Sherlock Holmes shirt that he had wrapped his (homemade) chocolates in for White Day. "So…my friends."

He let out a laugh at her trepidation, but hurried to reply as she raised an eyebrow at what he found so funny. "They seem nice enough. Although Satonaka-san threatened to break my neck if I ever hurt you."

"I assumed as much." She nodded, before the silence between them grew awkward. "They…seem to like you, at least." He hummed in response, his eyes returning to the video on his phone even as he kept his attention focused solely on her. His attention span around her had become a problem as of late as well, he noticed.

"And I like them. They're good people."

"Although Kanji-kun did tell me in excruciating detail the things he would do to you if we ever broke up."

"I'd love to see him try, honestly. Tatsumi-san really doesn't seem like he could hurt a fly, despite his appearance."

"Ah, you'd be surprised." She coughed slightly, and Kaito waited expectantly, having been around Naoto long enough to know that there was something else she wanted to say. "I believe…that it would be best if we don't after all, then."

In his surprise, Kaito dropped the phone on his face. He let out a grunt as Pen and Teller connected with his nose, and he took a moment to set his phone to the side before looking at Naoto again. She wasn't looking back. "If we don't…?" He knew what she meant, knew exactly well, but just in case, he would ask.

"Break up." If he had his phone in his hands, it probably would have had a friendly reunion with his face. "My reasoning, of course," she hurried on, her face a bright (beautiful- bad brain not the time) shade of red as she tried to elaborate, "is that I would rather not have Kanji-kun harm you, or else the man I've been dating for the past four months would be forced into the hospital and I would be obligated to arrest one of my closest friends."

Kaito's throat was dry, and he had, at one point, started gaping at Naoto like a dreaded finny thing, but he managed to eke out a meager four words. "Then maybe we shouldn't."

If she could have turned any redder, then he was pretty sure she would have, but who was he to judge when he was doing a wonderful imitation of a tomato? (Imitations were his specialty, but really.) "I…are you sure?" Her words came out stuttered, and if he wasn't just as nervous he would have thought about how cute she looked when she was flustered. "I mean, it may be inconvenient for you, and I don't wish to burden-"

"I love you." Oh. Oh that was a thing he said. Her straying eye went from looking anywhere but at him to at him and him only as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Words that were uttered only around the police force and friends, and he said them at such a stupid time, wow he was just going to bury himself in his covers and not thing about what came over him in that exact moment and maybe this whole day would just-

"Oh, good." And suddenly she sounded relieved, breathlessly relieved, as though he had taken the awkwardness out of the situation. "I was beginning to believe that I was going crazy." He stared at her, wide-eyed, before she explained in a small voice. "I…may have grown quite fond of you, as well."

"Well I'd sure hope so, seeing as we've been going out for four months." Terrible words to come out of his mouth, but he couldn't take them back, and she laughed at them so maybe it was okay after all. "But what about Shinichi…?"

She cleared her throat and looked away. "A…short-term crush, I believe. He intrigued me at first, and the police department was taking bets on who would ask whom out." She scowled at that, and he felt as though he was now allowed to think that she was adorable even when upset. "We were 'supposed' to be together, according to some."

"Shinichi's apparently 'supposed' to be with a lot of people," he commented lightly, thinking back to his love interests, Ran as Shinichi and then Ayumi as Conan. It seemed like meitantei didn't quite catch a romantic break. "But…if not him, then why me?"

This time she made a weird noise in the back of her throat that sounded suspiciously like an embarrassed gurgle, except cuter. (Damnit, he really needed to stop.) "You…are you," she finally conceded, and he knew immediately that, despite any prodding that he may have tried, she wasn't going to say any more on the matter.

He wasn't quite sure why that small fact made him so happy, though.

"Can I…ask a question, then?" His voice was back to being small, but she was back to non-verbal cues anyways so he didn't feel as bad as he could have when she nodded slightly.

"Will you go out with me?"

This time, when she agreed, he didn't feel as though he was about to die.

Quite the opposite, really.

Okay, so maybe he didn't have no damn idea how this had ever happened, this being standing in front of an altar, hair still the same bird's nest as it had been two years ago when they first met and tuxedo the same blinding white as his KID ensemble, with a beautiful blue-haired woman standing next to him and looking close to tears when, really, she wasn't the only one.

Shinichi and Naoto, Naoto and Shinichi. That was how it was supposed to be. But in the end, it had been Kaito and Naoto, the thief and his detective, the detective and her magician.

And in the end, it didn't really matter how it began, whether it was an accident or a weird twist of fate. because this-

"You may now kiss the bride."

-is where it really started.

GA: THAT WAS WEIRD. That was also a crosspost from my RP Tumblr, GentlemanXThief, so if you see it floating around Tumblr, yes, it's my piece. I...am thinking of expanding this ship, or at least writing another KaiNao fic in the future, so maybe? Look out for it? I don't know. I just...have so much more for this ship than what I bare-bones'ed right here.

'Til next time!

~G. Annihilator