Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon.

Misty's POV

My tears seemed cold and purposeless. I had cried enough in my time; there were certainly enough things I've gone through that would make anyone cry. But compared to this- those tears were fake, almost shallow. They meant nothing.

For the first time, I am crying for something.

Because I'm scared, and I don't know what to do. Yes, me- confident, brave, independent Misty Waterflower. I'm lost, and that feeling keeps pulling me under, further and further, until I'm not sure I can ever get out. That small fact is scarier than anything I've experienced.

The pool's glass walls are cold, and the gym is so silent with only the occasional little snore from the azurill resting in my lap. The room is illuminated by the soft glow of the lanturns and chinchous sleeping behind us in the pool, huddled together in a miniature swarm.

The night is so peaceful- and for once, I enjoy the silence. Too much has been going on, challengers have been coming in droves during the morning and my older sisters have been forcing me to help out with another one of their plays. But there is something else going on that makes those issues seem like little bumps along the road. The league is in need of a replacement for Lorelei, thanks to her sudden retirement due to unreleased health issues, and has contacted me recently in the hopes that I would be interested.

One who's naïve like my sisters would think I'd be ecstatic about the fact that I was given the opportunity to take over the role my idol once held, but those who look deeper into the situation would understand my distress. The members of the elite four are, in a way, isolated from the rest of society. They deal with challengers and horrible situations that require someone of their level to solve. Yes, they are given a limited amount of free time but that time must usually be spent training so that they're prepared for the next challenged thrown their way.

I don't know if I could handle being away from my family and friends that long… If I could handle being away from him that long…

I wipe the tears away angrily and glare angrily at the air before me. Images of my friends and family appear as illusions before my eyes, only to be replaced just as quickly as they appeared by the current members of the elite four. The empty space to the left of Bruno, where Lorelei should be, seems to be mocking somehow, and I turn away.

I'm so lost inside myself that I don't even hear the gym doors creak open until a certain brunette researcher is leaning against the glass walls next to me, his comforting arms wrapping around me. "What's wrong, Misty?" he whispers, his voice sounding startling in the silence.

I shake my head and lean back, his forearm cradling my neck and his shoulder my head. "I'm scared, Gary."

I can feel his smile in the way his shoulders move, but when his voice speaks it is not cruel. "You'd be a fool if you weren't."

"Are you scared too, then?" My question seems childish, but I ask it anyway.

"Of course I am." His answer is so confident and unbothered that I can't help wonder where he hides all he feels. Gary has always been the epitome of arrogant and confident- but I know he feels, probably more deeply than even I. He has a side of himself that very few see and I am one of those lucky few to see the side that puts aside the arrogance most have come to expect of him. I sometimes can't even admit to myself how much I respect and admire him- and, even, love him for both of his sides.

Gary is speaking again. "-being afraid isn't weak, Misty-"

"It is when there is no time for it," I interrupt, shifting so I can completely see him. "There is too much going on... I have to give my decision to the league tomorrow morning and with all my thinking I still haven't decided what I want."

"Then you just need to stop thinking with your head and listen to your heart," Gary responds logically, smiling at me. He is the only one who can smile so casually during a serious conversation and not offend me.

But this time, Gary's advice truly did seem almost juvenile, even if in the depths of my mind I knew it was true. I just need to let my heart make the decisions for once. Let it decide if I took the job that would help me reach my goal to become the master of water types or maintain my position of keeping the Cerulean Gym the greatest gym in all of Kanto along side all my loved ones.

I lightly pet azurill's still sleeping form as I shift slightly in Gary's gentle embrace, and he wisely keeps his mouth shut while I contemplate. He knows me well enough by now to see that I think too much- I most certainly am rash, but I am not a fool.

"I don't want to leave any of you. I'll miss you all too much" My quiet thought was spoken almost with a hesitation.

"And we'll miss you," Gary whispered, pulling me closer to him. "But it's not like we're saying goodbye forever. You have nothing to be afraid of."

I shivered at his words, but I couldn't help but feel some of the tension I've been experiencing lately dissolve. My sisters and all my close friends have already said something along those same lines to me but hearing it come from him seemed to make it actually break through to me.

We are silent for a moment longer, and I was just about to get up and finally turn in for the night when I heard Gary speak again.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, Misty. I'll always be there for you. No matter what decision you make."

My heart fluttered a bit as those words left his lips.

He would, you know. Gary has never really been what most would consider dependable when it comes to anything not involving pokémon or his research- but he loves me; I have no doubt of that. I love him, too.

He'll never leave me.

For the first time in a while, something made sense.

Gary's here. I have nothing to be afraid of.