Romeo and Juliet: Harry Potter Style

by Bridgey-Bridge

Act III, Scene I of Romeo and Juliet: the infamous duel scene. Harry Potter style. Oneshot, based off a school assignment. It probably won't make sense unless you have a basic understanding of Romeo and Juliet. Hope you like it! Rated T for mild violence.

Romeo and Juliet: Act III, Scene I: Harry Potter Style

Romeo and Juliet: Act III, Scene I: Harry Potter Style

A/N: Obviously, Harry Potter and Romeo and Juliet being very different stories, things don't match up exactly. The scenario is very different. This was a school assignment, to pick a scene from Romeo and Juliet and rewrite it in a different style or dialect, and I was kind of pleased with the final product, so I thought I might post it and see what you all think. You might find it helpful to pull up Act III Scene I of R&J in another tab, otherwise it might be kind of confusing; on its own this "story" is definitely not perfect. Oh, and thanks to the members of my group at school who helped me with this: Dustin, Decorah, and Jacob. You probably will never come across this, but in case you do I want to give credit where credit is due! A very very special thanks to my beta reader and best online friend Amanda (BlueyGooz) for all of her help and encouragement. You rock!

Cast:

Benvolio: Neville

Mercutio: Ron

Tybalt: Draco

Romeo: Harry

Prince: Snape

Citizen: Filch

Lady Capulet: Pansy Parkinson

Montague: Hagrid

Neville and Ron are walking through the halls between classes

Neville: Please, Ron, let's go back to the common room. The Slytherins are roaming the halls and I don't want to get in trouble!

Ron: Neville, you are the kind of person who goes to Hogsmead with his wand safely in his back pocket and after only a few butterbeers whips it out and starts shooting hexes around.

Neville: Do you really think so?

Ron: Yes, you have a temper like my mother and are even more eager to get in a fight.

Neville: Eh?

Ron: Oh, yes. You would argue with Hermione about a homework problem when you know she is right. You would fight with a basilisk for looking at you, if it were possible. Your head is more full of rows than mistletoe is with nargles and you have gone mental because of it. You would argue with Snape for making potions and quarrel with Sprout for growing magical plants. You would yell at Hagrid because he is huge, and you are telling me to go back to the common room.

Neville: If I fought as much as you, I'd be dead by now!

Ron: You'd be dead? O, Merlin's beard!

Enter Draco, Crabbe and Goyle

Neville: Here come the Slytherins.

Ron: I don't care.

Draco: Crabbe, Goyle, let me do the talking. Hello Weasle-king, Longbottom. May I have a word?

Ron: A word? Why don't you have a "word" with my wand?

Draco: Just give me a reason, and I'll hex you right now.

Ron: Are you too scared to duel without a reason?

Draco: All right, Weasle, let's cut to the chase. You hang 'round with Potter.

Ron: Hang 'round? Do we look like monkeys to you? Do you see us swinging from branch to branch? I have a branch here that could blow you to London!

Neville: Umm… maybe we should talk this out or take it outside. We could get in trouble.

Ron: I'm not moving for anyone! Let them all watch!

Enter Harry

Draco: You got lucky this time Weasle. Here comes Potter now. To Harry Hello, Potter… I have discovered that I like you just about as much as a blast-ended Skrewt. To put it simply, I hate you.

Harry: Draco, I'm sick of arguing with you and I don't want to break the rules.

Draco: However, I don't care enough about the rules to not duel with you here and now. Draw your wand!

Harry: What did I ever do you? Can't we be civil for once?

Ron: Harry! Don't be such a creampuff! He's gone too far. Put up you wand, Malfoy!

Draco: What do you want?

Ron: I want to see you turned into the slug you truly are, and I mean to do it too! Now put up your wand! I challenge you to a duel!

Draco: Gladly, Weasle.

Harry: RON! Put your wand away!

Ron: Come one Malfoy, let's go.

Ron and Draco begin to fire spells at each other.

Harry: Help, Neville! STOP DUELING! We'll get caught!

Harry steps between them and tries to stop the dueling; Ron is hit under Harry's arm with Sectumsempra, which covers him with gushing gashes. Draco runs.

Ron: Curse both Gryffindor and Slytherin houses. He got me with Sectumsempra. Did he run off then?

Neville: Are you hurt?

Ron: Nooo… I'm just gushing blood all over! Someone should fetch Madame Pomfry.

Harry: Toughen up, it can't be that bad. Plus, you kind of started it.

Ron: I guess it's not as bad as throwing up slugs, but it's bad enough. Why in the name of Merlin did you come between us? He hexed me when I was distracted.

Harry: I was only trying to help.

Ron: Help me to the hospital wing, Neville, before I bleed to death! He's got me in quite a state. Curse both Gryffindor and Slytherin!

Neville and Ron exit

Harry: Oh, this is just brilliant! Now Ron is in the hospital wing! I will get Draco back for this if it's the last thing I do.

Neville returns

Neville: Harry, Ron passed on in the hospital wing. There was nothing Madame Pomfry could do.

Harry: This is the worst day of my life. It's almost as bad as the day my parents died.

Enter Draco once more

Neville: H-here comes Draco. He looks pretty mad.

Harry: Here you are, healthy as a hippogriff and Ron is dead because of you. Take back the blast-ended Skrewt comment for Ron, or either you or I will be joining him!

Draco: He got what was coming to him, and you will too.

Harry: We'll see about that.

They begin to duel, shooting spells all over. In a fit of rage, Harry says "Avada Kedavra" and Draco falls.

Neville: Harry! Get out of here! People will see that you have killed Draco! Don't just stand there! Snape will catch you! Run!

Harry: Augh! The prophecies are all against me today!

Neville: What are you waiting for! RUN!

Harry runs to Dumbledore's office

Enter Filch and Mrs. Norris

Filch: Now, Mrs. Norris, my sweet. Where did the naughty students go? They know there is no dueling in the halls.

Neville: Sir, Dr-Draco's over there!

Filch: Huh? Come with me, boy. I'm sure Professor Snape would like to know what happened here.

Enter Snape, Pansy Parkinson, and Hagrid

Snape: Who started this mess?

Neville: I-I can explain, Professor Snape. Draco hit Ron with Sectumsempra and he has died, then Harry killed Draco.

Pansy: Oh! My Draco! What has happened to you! My handsome Draco! Oh, Professor Snape, do something! Harry has killed my precious Draco!

Snape: Neville, who started this bloody duel?

Neville: D-Draco started it, Sir. Harry tried reasoning with him, but Draco wouldn't listen. Draco and Ron started to duel and Harry tried to break it up. He jumped between them, but Draco fired Sectumsempra under Harry's arm, thus hitting Ron, and then started running. Then he came back, and Harry was so overcome with grief that he began to fight Draco. Before I could break them up, Draco was dead, and Harry had run away. Professor, I swear I am telling the truth!

Pansy: He is Harry's friend! He is lying about Draco to protect Harry! Do something Snape! Send Harry to Azkaban!

Snape: Draco killed Ron, and then Harry killed Draco. Who is to blame for these deaths?

Hagrid: Not Harry, Snape. He was Ron's friend. It was his fault Draco died, but he shouldn't be punished. Draco needed to be stopped.

Snape: Then, he must be expelled. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin lives have been lost today because of the rivalry between the two. No begging or pleading will change my decision. Harry will be back on the train immediately or he will be sent to Azkaban. Take care of Draco's body.

Exit all

A/N: Hope you liked it and it wasn't too confusing! For your information, we did get an "A" when we performed it in front of the class, even with our abysmal British accents!