Leia watched as Rey trained tirelessly in the large training room of their newfound hideout, pushing her body to its absolute limits while beads of sweat formed on the young Jedi's forehead. The older woman smiled when she caught a glimpse of the pure determination in Rey's eyes; the kind that reminded her of Luke. Her smile turned into a soft sigh at the thought of her late brother, but she put the thought aside and approached Rey.
"You should take a break. I know you are preparing yourself, but it wouldn't hurt to rest for a while."
Rey was still clutching her quarterstaff tightly in her hands when Leia walked over. She gently wiped the sweat off her forehead and temples with the back of her wrist wrappings and flashed the woman a smile.
"I can't rest easily, knowing that there so much to do."
"Rebuilding the resistance isn't a matter of a day, or a week. We have all we need, but most importantly we have you." There was a motherly warmth in Leia's eyes that touched Rey's heart as she addressed her, "So take it slow now. Don't want you break yourself before the real battles."
Considering her words, Rey nodded and moved herself away from the poor make-shift training dummy she whipped up herself, modelled after Kylo Ren's height for reference. She wondered if Leia noticed this cheeky design from her, but it didn't matter; they both knew that the battle between her and Kylo Ren will be inevitable.
Yet there was something within Rey that was out of balance. The thought of fighting Kylo Ren… no, Ben Solo, was sitting like an uncomfortable stone in her heart. She tried to save him, to bring him back to the Light, but it didn't matter to him, did it? In the end, he choose the other side. She was disappointed that all he cared about was power.
It pained her that he didn't value what they shared as much as she did. Even if they were only Snoke's shenanigans. The moment her hand felt his, the vision came to her so clearly, blasting out all of her doubts and fears, and she was so certain that she could be the one to help him, to save him.
She thought she knew him, but maybe she was wrong.
"Looks like you've got more than just fatigue on your mind." Leia's voice reminded Rey that she was still here, and the young Jedi quickly pushed away her thoughts.
"Don't worry, I'm not probing into your mind. I can feel it in you, the conflict."
Rey smiled faintly at her and nodded silently.
"Come, I have something that might help."
Curiously, she followed Leia's footsteps past one security door and another in the compound, until they reached Leia's personal quarters. Closing the door behind them, she turned to Rey and presented to her a small black box.
"What's this?" Rey glanced at the object.
"It's a projector of some sort, but more impressive than holograms. I often use it on long trips between planets to make this place a bit livelier. Let me show you."
With a simple tap on the side of the box, it opened up like a flower and shone like a signaling beacon for a few seconds. The next thing Rey knew, she was standing atop of a small porch, with outlandish flora and greens around her.
"Woah." She reactively tested the floors with her feet, somewhat satisfied to find that familiar feel of metal flooring beneath.
"It doesn't actually change the terrain, just for the view and scenery, oh, and sounds, too." Leia smiled as the tapped a petal of the opened box, this time calling out the birds and creatures from the woods. One of them took a long look at Rey and honked at her, inciting a laugh from the girl.
"This is brilliant. Can I try it?"
"Of course, it's all yours for as long as you'd like. I figured it's a good way to wind down. Just be careful where you step. There should be a perimeter indicator when you approach the edges of the room." Leia gave her the box and made her way out the door, leaving Rey to explore her new found entertainment on her own.
Now with the box, Rey carefully tapped a petal like Leia did, and suddenly the scene shifted to a snowy landscape. She found herself knees deep in snow, and for as far as her eyes could see, there were nothing but snow and a few small huts. Gentle snowflakes fell on her, but she didn't feel cold.
Despite the peaceful atmosphere, there was something about snow that reminded her of troublesome memories. She thought of the night in the woods where she had dueled him for the first time, the way their light sabers crossed and sparks flew. She couldn't forget the look on his face when he realized her worth, but in that same moment she had also realized the power she holds, with the Force coursing through her entire being. She felt the need to avenge Han Solo, and she felt she had the strength to defeat the monster in front of her.
But what of now? After all they had gone through, Rey could no longer see him as only Kylo Ren. She now knew that there was a man behind that mask, a living, breathing being, someone with their own struggles and passion. She wanted to believe that there was good in him, even when the others had given up. Now, even her own faith wavers.
Like a stubborn child, she tapped away the scene until she found something more pleasant. She came across a lake, or a wide river, with herself sitting on the banks and a low hanging moon in the distance, illuminating a silver path on water towards her.
Strangely, she felt comforted by the sight. The solitude and serenity was what she needed to clear her mind, and with that, she put the box away and simply immersed herself in her surroundings. Small crablike creatures crawled about, and in the distance there were birds resting on the surface of the water. How she wished she could just dive into the water for a quick swim.
The nights of Jakku were harsh and unforgiving, and the twin moons were like the eyes of a cold goddess, peering down at her as she held herself against the wind. In contrast, she would have loved to live on a planet with water and amphibious life, and a temperate climate. She reminded herself to ask Leia later if this place was real and the name of it so she could plan a visit someday.
The peace didn't last long, however, as Rey felt a familiar tug in the back of her mind, a gentle pulsing that resembled a harmless migraine. She closed her eyes and immediately felt the Force, pushing and pulling her at the same time towards one focus. Towards him.
"Ben…" His name already hung on her lips before she could even see him. His presence was so intrusive and strong, that for a moment she feared that the birds would be startled and fly away.
"Rey." Came his familiar call.
She opened her eyes and there he was, almost perfectly integrated into her little fantasy world, standing close to her on the banks.
Her gut instinct was to turn away, but she didn't. Instead she gazed upon his face calmly, meeting those deep brown eyes and asked, "Why are you here?"
His hair was still finely groomed and the scar she gave him was but a fading mark. It had been a while, she realized, but he looked just like how she remembered him.
He glanced around quickly before settling on her again. "I could ask you the same thing. It would seem that our connection remains."
A helpless smile bloomed on the corner of her lips, "Even with the choices you made."
"You mean, the choices you made?" Ben retorted, not breaking his composure.
"Really now?" She bit back the quick, snarky comments she was about to make about his betrayal, and instead calmed herself, "It doesn't matter. We've both made our choices and I don't think any of us will deviate from it."
His expression was dark for a moment before he walked over and sat down beside her. To his surprise, she made no attempts to move away.
"It's not too late, you can still join me." He said.
"No means no." At this point, Rey was simply biting her tongue and waiting for the connection to go away. However, it seemed that the harder she wished for it to go away, the more it lingered.
A deafening and awkward silence loomed over the two as they sat next to each other, watching the moon on water, each with different thoughts and words in their heads. For a moment, Rey wished that they weren't enemies.
"It's a nice view." He finally murmured, breaking the silence.
Rey turned her head ever so slightly just enough to see his profile and replied, "You see it too?"
"Yes."
"Glad to know you can still appreciate something without wanting to destroy it, but who knows, perhaps you would if you could." She remarked with a hint of bitterness in her voice. Yes, she was still bitter that he burnt the bridge between them.
"Do you really see me that way, Rey?"
"You are that way."
"Says the person who drew her weapon on me first." He was not having more of her fits, and began to strike back, "I trusted you."
"So did I!" She turned to face him.
"Evidently not."
"I—"
"All this talk about seeing the Light in me, and in the end, even you lost faith in your own words."
"The Light would not have let you slaughter the rebellion fleets and murder hundreds of innocents!"
"Clearly the Light would prefer the alternative of continuing the galactic conflict and continue allowing thousands and thousands of people die in the process." He frowned as he gazed into her eyes, "Listen to yourself, Rey. You are holding on to the past and the ideals and fantasies. Why can't you just let it die?"
"I sense it in you too, for someone who talks about letting the past die, you are holding on tightly."
"And you are more angry at me for not coming with you than anything else."
Rey gave up the confrontation with a frustrated sigh and decided to focus her gaze at the waters. "Yes, I am very upset at you."
"I suppose this is how it must be, then." Ben let out a quiet sigh.
"Ben…You felt it too, when we touched hands. How can you just throw that away?"
A realization came to him when she admitted her disappointment. It was something so painfully obvious, but he never really saw it clearly until now. Staring into the deep dark waters, he said slowly, "We both want each other to be a certain way, and we fight over it tooth and nail."
The look in his eyes was slowly shattering her heart as he uttered the words, "When I told you that you are someone to me, I meant it." Ben looked down at the ground, his voice slightly shaky, "It hurt me too, you know."
His words hit Rey hard, as she almost felt the urge to tear up. What could she do? This new found connection with him, everything… it was all so overwhelming, even as they argued, especially when they argued. He could bring out the worst of her, but at the same time, the best of her. She could not find it in her to accept him like this, not right now, even as her hand ached to grab his once more, to verify the vision she saw before, to ignite the hope in her again.
She tried to look for the words, the right ones to say, but before she could, his image began fading and she could feel the connection weakening. Not yet! She pleaded, but Ben gave her one last longing look before disappearing from her view.
Her lips were half open when she found herself alone with the lake and the moon again. His presence like a ghost beside her. The sound of the ducks playing with water returned to her, after having blocked out all sound but his voice. She pressed her lips into a thin line and stood up, attempting to dust her behind but realizing that she didn't have to, and looked for the little black box. A million thoughts were racing on her mind, and all of them were of him.
When she found it, she savored the lonely moon and the shimmering waters once more before tapping on the petals and closing the box, dismissing the scenery and returning herself to Leia's room. It was such a beautiful place, it deserved a better her, not this confused, bothered young Jedi.
She hoped that someday, maybe one day, she could be there on those very banks, with a lightened heart and a smile and all her conflicts with Ben resolved. She hoped that it will be just the two of them, no hard feelings, and the moonlit waters.