Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any rights to Oreimo: I'm merely a huge fan of the series.
AN: Whew, there's a few things I should get across before all of this. I feel the spirit of this story, at least this chapter, may differ from that of the original series. This isn't supposed to serve as a continuation, rather a separate story that could be somewhat plausible in the canon universe. I may have a take on a few characters that differs a little from the general consensus, at least on Ayase, as I feel she didn't get much development in the novels or the anime, but I've tried my best to stay true to character. I've taken quite a bit of liberty with the setting, the parents, the others... so, we'll see.
This is my first time ever making something public, so constructive criticism would be very much appreciated. In short, be sure to leave reviews!
Warning: May contain severe exposition.
It was a rather ordinary day in the Aragaki household.
Tranquility resided in the air, a peaceful feeling that practically boiled with expectation. A trait exclusive to the last day before school started up again. A last moment of calm before events returned to what could be considered normalcy by most, or a removal of freedom by a select few. But in all cases, it marked the beginning in something.
On the fateful day, I was sitting around in my room, wasting away time doing nothing in particular. Beside me on the bed lay a teenage magazine opened on the third page. My face was staring back at me from the paper, smiling while doing a cutesy pose. The picture came from a recent photo shoot, which had gone quite well, if I do say so myself. My clothing on this picture consisted of a short casual shirt, a matching dark-blue top, and the pink hairpin serving as my only accessory. Removing it was usually necessary, but as it fit with the current style, keeping it was all right in that case.
Across the room stood a table, currently occupied by a small laptop, mostly used for school-related things, meaning it didn't see much love in the break. My small bookshelf stood on the opposite side, but as I was no avid reader and thereby didn't have any special preferences, a random selection of books was lined up to fill it up.
Shoved in under the bed was a basket filled to the brim with more magazines. Keeping up with the publications of my work does count as natural, I suppose. Unavoidably so, as a consequence of that work, my wardrobe had become filled up with clothes of all imaginable sorts, meaning things related to my modeling career made up much of the room's interior.
Despite all this, I didn't really feel work was such a large part of who I was.
It came more from the usual colleagues I had over there. My closest friends all worked in the same agency, this being a large factor to it currently occupying my thoughts. When something I enjoy doing becomes combined with those I hold dear, it should come as no wonder it would have a presence in my life.
I feel I may come across as the quintessential teenage model at times. However, I fail to see why it would bother me, frankly. As long as I knew my values, why should the opinion of others disturb that?
For the current situation, to put it bluntly, there was nothing to do. My friend Kanako was unavailable, finishing up the last remnants of her current work project. She seems to have found something she liked, finally. Being the official cosplayer for a well-known character may be regarded as peculiar, but some interesting turns have to be taken on the way to becoming a popular idol. And popularity she certainly possessed. Hell, all those otakus were practically worshipping her as a goddess. At least my support for her was unrelenting, even if at times all her auditioning took away from our time together.
I was partly at fault for that one, though. I had been the one to give her the "prompt", so to say. Pushing her into that competition… perhaps not the nicest thing to do, but the necessary means had to be employed in that situation. Urgent matters had to be dealt with.
Matters regarding my closest friend, the one many of my deeds have revolved around. Truly, that girl had the peculiar quality of somehow bending the world to center around her. Although this wasn't the trait I admired her for, it was a rather dominant one in Kousaka Kirino.
Kousaka Kirino… an unusual girl, for sure. Her looks, matching mine in all sorts of splendor, her ability to truly focus and put her all into something… and defying all odds, succeeding at them. Kind, caring about her friends… she seemed to be the perfect girl in every aspect. Behind all this though, she concealed being perhaps one of the biggest otakus on planet Earth. Her obsession with little sisters left me stupefied at times, and the huge array of merchandise hidden in her closet matched that standard of even the most dedicated collector. Much of it was considered indecent, and over time I'd come to hear about the troubles she'd had finding acceptance.
Originally, this had made quite a rift in our relationship. I stumbled upon her by chance, when she was heading home from the "Summer Comicket" with her friends that I didn't know of at the time. She first tried hiding it, denying her nature in front of me…essentially lying in my face. Obviously, this got no warm reception, not only because of the blatant lie but from the hobby itself. Otakus were a plague in society, having no regard for social norms and being at heart would-be criminals.
That's what I thought, at least. After much hassle and sacrifices, I got a little more clearance as to what it really was, and we ended up making up. Although the exact circumstances were a little strange…
Ugh… here I go again, rambling off about pointless things. When prompted by boredom, all sorts of things could emerge, even half-philosophical nonsense. I guess my mind did take strange turns when there was simply nothing to do. The day had progressed enough for it not to be worth leaving the house for a longer time, and I didn't really have any friends close enough to invite over aside from the aforementioned two.
I knew from sources that Kirino was unavailable today. She was spending time with her boyfriend.
Her brother, Kousaka Kyousuke.
Heh… even though over a year has passed since the events, I still cannot make it roll of my tongue properly. Indeed, my best friend has taken up the example from many of her games, and gone fully down the brocon route. Those things happened not too long after I myself confessed to that very person…
I am not the biggest fan of otakus even in the present day. I've made tremendous effort to shove aside my feelings about them, for Kirino, and how much I can tolerate it now comes largely from her and that very brother. Even so, their relationship stretched the line of propriety to its furthest possible ends, raising several questions of morality within me. Come to think of it, I was rejected by the one I liked for his little sister. Doesn't the very idea sound nonsensical? As if it came from a manga or something.
Nevertheless, this issue didn't have that terribly huge of an impact the present day, except for leaving my thoughts to rampage freely. Lying on the bed as your body ceases to function and your brain becomes hyperactive… there just wasn't any motivation for me to get up. I might as well get some extra rest before beginning my second year in high school, then.
However, life had other plans for me. As if lightning from clear sky, my mother's voice echoed across the house, being enough to make me scramble despite only reaching partly.
"Ayase! Dinner's ready!"
She expected no answer, as usual. Traversing the floors for food is such an everyday ordeal that one really doesn't give it much thought.
I left my room into the upper hallway, arriving a few steps from the stairs. I always did wonder why my room the one so close to the entrance, instead of the other one further in which just stood there vacantly. Perhaps I could move in there later. The layout was basically the same, so it wouldn't be hard to grow used to.
The not-so new wooden steps gave off all sorts of creaking noises as I went down into the entrance hall and entered the kitchen. Mom stood at the disk sorting out glasses automatically while talking with dad. She wore a red apron above a casual white sweater that day, managing to give off a vibe of fluffiness for some reason. Her hair was the splitting image of mine, currently in a ponytail, to avoid hanging into the food. Having everyone present at a meal wasn't as common as one might think. The majority of days dad was busy with work until late night, and I saw him for only a few hours. Having the position of a senator certainly came with its price, in the form of wagon-loads of work. But consequently, the pay supplied the family with more to spare.
Mom mostly took care of the chores at home, and worked only a few days. She did have some responsibility being the president of the PTA, but nothing too crazy. She had a tendency to be a little free-spirited, such suddenly deciding to renovate the entire interior of the living room, and showing interest in those twenty-gazillion types of things stores try and sell to us poor common folk. Bad days weren't in her dictionary, and regardless of how little it might be seen, her cheeriness tended to infect the rest of us. As for her more serious side… well, some of the stories she's heard working with the PTA and retells to us are the exact opposite of what I just described. That didn't change anything, though.
"Perfect, come sit right down, Ayase. Here's your food… Dear, look up from your newspaper when eating with your daughter!"
Her scolding was playful of nature, but the tone of it completely serious. Strangely enough, she always did her best to keep dad from getting absorbed whenever I was nearby. Normally, he would often space out or catch up on news in his free time, and forget about his surroundings. By no means was he an airhead, despite how this may come across. He was merely very focused and dedicated to his work. Obeying mom's request, he took a bite of his pickled vegetables.
"Thank you for the food, mom. Anything interesting happened at work recently?"
My sentence had over time become somewhat of a conversation-starter, while at the same time functioning as a conversation-killer as well. Basically, it conveyed the message of "I'm not too interested in talking right now, but let's not stay quiet". Of course not quite like this, but the original meaning's not entirely lost. Take it as you wish.
"Not too much as to speak of. Well, the endless stream of paperwork is as present as ever, however…"
I didn't pay much attention to what he said, as only a few snippets differed from what had been told a million times before. I wondered, was there something productive I could do? Like, I'd really hate for the remainder of this day to be wasted away senselessly. It's honestly baffling how stranded I felt without any of my friends to talk to. Sometimes I got the impression I didn't have life for myself. I managed to keep these thoughts in joke-territory, although I sometimes had difficulties when faced with situations like this. The conversation beside me flowed normally, without entering my ears whatsoever. Eventually, dad went back to his meal, as even mom had lost what little interest she had to begin with.
"It's good to see everyone home. Either you're at work, or Ayase is out with her friends... to be honest, I'm half surprised she's still home."
"Come on, mom, who do you take me for? I am here the majority of my time, technically."
"Sure enough, but half of those times you aren't alone… and sleep doesn't count!"
I digress. Mom was exaggerating grossly, to which I feigned being insulted, earning a slight chuckle. As much as I would like to deny, her words bore a sliver of truth. I should maybe consider picking up some sort of activity to do at home, to soothe all her motherly desires.
"Come to think of it… hasn't Kirino been coming over a little less than usual?"
Inadvertently, my back stiffened just a little. The topic of Kirino's whereabouts wasn't one to be disclosed to, well, anyone really. But as for her observation, it wasn't entirely false. She wasn't here quite as much as before.
"You're still friends, right?"
"Obviously, mom. Should we be best friends for years and suddenly fall apart for no reason? I'm still with her plenty of times, you know."
Admittedly not so much outside of work and soon again, school. The times we went to hang out together has lessened slowly but surely over this past year. By regular standards we were still inseparable, but a small scar had been left upon our relationship in those events, a scar that had yet to heal entirely. I was unsure if it ever would.
Nobody knew that aside from us, though, and nobody should know aside from us. Mom seemed to accept my answer without further ado, and lifted her fork. She probably didn't take the question too seriously in the first place, despite how I may've reacted to it.
All in all, the evening progressed just like many times before, only the very outside of its contents varying slightly. While at the table, I saw for myself returning back to the room, reading something or keep the rust of my cooking skills by making something to eat for everyone before going to bed. I could lend mom a hand in cleaning the dishes, perhaps. Judging from what had been said just now, she would probably appreciate the gesture.
Alas, my plans were thrown out of the window in a moment's time. In the middle of the meal, our chit-chat was suddenly disturbed by a ringing coming from the living room, which was interconnected with the kitchen. The phone had taken it upon itself to deliver the happening I so much yearned for.
House phones might perhaps be a little old-fashioned, but dad appeared to have taken a strange liking to them. Since it fit well into the "older house" mood and wasn't impractical per se, no one objected. Everyone had their own little mobile anyways.
"Hum… I'll go get it. It's probably nothing important anyways."
Having finished her meal, mom stretched her hands and went to answer the phone. Dad remained quiet, attention on the newspaper. His dark brown eyes stared intensely at the piece of paper, so much so that I wondered how they hadn't pierced a hole into it yet. Dad most certainly had an intimidating look to him, further enhanced by the short black hair and his usual dress. He was kind at heart, though. I think. Gaze moving from him to the living room, I took a minute to think about who the caller may've been. A friend? Something related to the PTA? Who knows. I was just taking the last bite of my meal when footsteps indicated mom's return.
They didn't, however, indicate the expression of shock that was apparent from her wide eyes. I got the impression she had trouble standing upright, not to mention opening her mouth and speaking up. The peaceful expression she had just minutes ago was nowhere to be found.
What was happening? If I hadn't known better, I would've said she was terrified about something. But that was a sight I had yet to see… mom never got visibly scared. Not by a simple phone call, at least. Nevertheless, I began tapping the table subconsciously, softly so that only I could've noticed it.
"Touma… his… his… they came across a… car. Not a single one…"
Why was she stuttering so? Not to mention, calling dad by his name. To this date, I've only ever heard her do that whenever something serious was at hand. Nothing she was saying made any sense whatsoever. I frankly didn't know what to think of her behavior.
Swallowing hard, mom swatted away a lock of hair from her forehead that escaped the hair tie, and got a little more grip of herself. Her face filling with determination, she closed her eyes before answering a more clearly.
"It's… it's about Kanata."
Dad immediately let the newspaper drop, and looked at her in earnest. Moments later, he hesitantly lifted one arm and adjusted his glasses, regardless of the fact that they fit completely perfectly.
"What happened, Ichika?"
Kanata? I knew of a few people at school called Kanata, but I doubted that any of those were the one my parents were talking about, and I didn't even know the age of this person. More importantly, dad also used mom's real name. If both suddenly got ticked off by something I'd never heard about… this was way too strange. I didn't know why, but I was growing increasingly sure that I had been left out of something, something potentially big. Well, it appeared as though I'd have to sit this one out before going back upstairs.
"Apparently, his parents went out one day and without any warning, got into a car accident and… well, passed away."
Dad stared motionlessly at the air in front of him, showing zero clear signs of being upset by the news of people they presumably knew dying. However, I knew my father well enough to tell that the whole thing was a mask. If he truly wasn't disturbed, he would ask about further details immediately, not grind his gears loud enough to be practically projected across the entire room.
"I'm sorry to hear that. It is always sad to hear people go, but what did they say to you? How does this relate to us?"
His voice was urgent, almost desperate, uncharacteristically so. He leaned forward just a little, like a puppy awaiting a snack. Except he was no puppy, rather a fully grown man known for keeping composure and going about everything effectively. Whatever this whole matter was, I began to realize that this couldn't possibly be something positive.
"There… after some investigation, it appears there are no relatives capable of taking care of him in."
A shadow seemed to be cast across his face, the glow of his eyes growing very hard to detect. In a smooth motion, he stood up and looked locked eyes with mom, who glanced away almost immediately. Both kept silent for a second.
"But they can't possibly mean what I think…"
"Yes. Yes, that is exactly what they do."
I got the impression that the two were having a silent conversation right in front of me. Obviously neither of them looked particularly thrilled about the subject, indicating something bad might have happened. I noted that the pressure my parents gave off stood in stark contrast to the pretty sunset outside, which would usually have been a pleasant sight. Had there been something that is capable of upsetting them to this degree, wouldn't it then affect me? I slowly raised my head, shoved down my suspicion and put on a happy tone, speaking up.
"Mom? Dad? Exactly what is going on here?"
Only the sound of a bubble bursting was missing from the events that played out in front of me. Both shook and turned in my direction, their gazes almost drilling through me, as intensely as they were staring. Had I intruded upon something? Something right in front of me? How did that even work?
"Oh, Ayase… how should I say this. I suppose that we ought to have told you by now…"
It was as if mom was furiously trying to communicate something to her partner without words, with no signs indicating any noticeable success. Or it might be that I just couldn't recognize those signs. I didn't know everything about them… as was becoming clearer and clearer with every passing moment.
"Yes, we should have. I did advocate for that in the first place, saying it would be for the better. All of this could've been averted in that case."
What did they not want to tell me? I'm their only daughter, and we're family. One of the key aspects of that is honesty. Can there really be something important they haven't told me of? Granted, I didn't spend the most of time with them nowadays, but this appeared to go deeper than that. Is there something particularly suspicious they had told me once? Any fairytale-like things they said long ago? I tried to recall, to no avail. My eyes may as well have been tinted with black, as blind as I felt.
"And I said she wasn't ready! How do you think she would've reac… no, let's not take up this again. We've put that behind us, and let's put hiding this all behind us as well."
Mom's voice hadn't a fragment of her gentleness in it this time. Simply letting out a tired sigh, dad sat down at the table, like one would do before something obligatory you wanted nothing more than to avoid.
"All right, let's take this slow. You're all acting really weird, as if you were arguing about entirely pointless things. Just what is up?"
Despite appearing casual on the surface, the way this conversation was going stirred up severe discomfort within me. Deep down, I wanted to have them calm down and talk it over. Apparently they have discussed this topic plenty of times already, without my notice, and I felt this was all too similar to the huge arguments I could vaguely remember around ten years ago. In the current situation, hearing them out quietly would be the best course of action. I have little doubts they have plenty to say.
"We had been planning on keeping this from you a little while longer. However, as things stand, there really is little point in doing that… well, how should I say this… Ayase. You have a little brother."
…Say what now? I arose from my chair, to better meet their eyes.
"A half-brother, to be exact. From your mother's side."
Upon hearing this exclamation, I slumped down, a sharp pain flashing up my leg, a pain I promptly ignored. Both of them looked a little afraid, but I could tell there was a suppressed curiosity to it. They are saying I have a brother? A younger one? Putting aside the impossibility, that means he was born after me… and a half-brother at that? That would mean mom had him after me, right? And I have never heard a trace.
"Sorry, that may've been a little abrupt, but it's necessary. You're probably feeling… well, at least a little shocked about…"
"Of course I do! You can't just go ahead and tell me something like this out of the blue! 'I have a little brother!' Have you considered that maybe I would've liked to know!?"
I shouted out, cutting off his sentence. A fair amount of anger had seeped into my voice, but frankly, it didn't concern me in the slightest.
"We had considered it on occasion. Actually, a long while back, we discussed it almost every week. Ultimately, we decided this is the best for you."
"Best for me? I appreciate the sentiment. Problem is, I don't think you could've been further from the truth if you deliberately tried to."
Dad stretched his hands and sighed in annoyance, adjusting his glasses once again. He was likely as unhappy about the entire ordeal as me, I realized. Rightly so, this conversation wasn't the one to be enjoyed. Sensing we had come to a halt, the person apparently responsible for this mess spoke up.
"Ayase, do you remember when you were little?"
She instinctually tried to take a tone that would calm us down. Only the soothing motions with her hands weren't in place for the immersion to be complete. Sorry, but it didn't quite have the intended effect. Did she try to downplay the importance of this? Signify that I shouldn't really care about it? My response sounded a little harsh in turn.
"Clearly you think I cannot handle what you told me. Well, to assure you of my mental stability, yes, I do remember my childhood."
Only tidbits from the very early days, something I wouldn't admit that if my life depended on it. We have always lived in this house, and it may very well have aged quite a bit under our stay, even if I almost never brought people over back then. I mostly played outside with some of the neighboring kids, the majority of whom had moved away.
I also spent a fair time at my grandparents'. They were really kind people, although my view on that might be a little influenced by being the "treasured grandkid", resulting in me being treated differently than other riffraff. We always used to watch kids' shows on that tiny television they had in the living room…
I'd constantly pester mom where my father was, when he came home, and go around playing with the few toys I had. Funnily enough, I could sit and watch for hours how she went about everyday chores back then. Upon remembering childish innocence, and even myself once being like that, my lips nearly curved into a smile. At least, as close as it gets bearing in mind the current happenings in front of me.
Noticing I had briefly spaced out, mom nervously glanced aside, as if deliberately avoiding me. Regardless of how this entire situation is, they never were particularly wary when telling me all sorts of things. In contrast, right now they seemed to actually be afraid of my response. Justly so.
"I'll try to explain the entire situation to you. Why don't we all sit down? This'll take a little while."
She turned to dad seeking support, but was apparently rejected, seeing as he refused to meet her eyes. Come to think of it, they did say that they argued about this quite a bit, and dust had clearly not settled, even now. But everyone sat down quietly, and I waited for the explanation, not fully knowing what to expect.
"Go ahead, Ichika. I won't interrupt."
Under his breath, dad uttered this sentence that I found mostly unnecessary. For someone who is a firm keeper of politeness, not interrupting another person talking was merely common etiquette. Regardless of me thinking this, it appeared to hold at least some kind of meaning for mom, who nodded in slight relief. Finally, she cleared her throat and began.
"It all started when you were around one year old, Ayase. Touma and I were a fairly recently married couple back then, happy and optimistic about life… the only downside was that he had to leave for nearly a year on business. We only heard of it a few months after you were born…" She trailed off for a second, as if reliving something painful. "We complained that this was exorbitant, that we just got a daughter… but our complaints met deaf ears. That was how he disappeared for an important time in your childhood."
I adjusted my chair, and mulled over what had been said. It really was quite unfortunate… no wonder I had zero memories of dad back then. In fact, I only really remember seeing my grandparents, mom, that friend… this, however, didn't even begin to soothe my anger.
"Obviously, we were unhappy. But I could take care of you alone with no issues. The real problems began when I got called in for nearly a month of constant work. I would be free for the following three months then, but without your father to watch over you, I wanted to decline. Alas, I was ultimately in no position to refuse." Even now, saying this seemed to evoke anger in her. "This did mean you had to stay with my grandparents for nearly month. Of course, I dropped by to visit you on occasion, even if my haggard state wasn't the best for you to see me in."
"So I stayed with grandma and pa? I don't know how long I was there, but I had a great time, if I recall."
Having to dig around in the dusty parts of my brain obviously took a fair amount of capacity, so my thoughts shifted more toward rationality. Not meaning I wasn't upset, just that… it faded into the background, to leave me space to better digest mom's words.
"I feel that we might be saying "work" a lot without actually going into what it means. I didn't just turn off my brain and fill out papers back there. As it happened, I met a fellow named Kaito. At first, we shared a cup of coffee during break, and did some small talk." She took a pause as if reminiscing. "Over time, we grew to know each other a little. He was vaguely aware of the situation of my relationship. I knew he came from a middle-class family, and recently moved out for independence."
"So I'm guessing he is the… person in question, then?"
I struggled to find the correct words express my thoughts. Perhaps "the one you cheated on dad with" would be accurate, but by zero means 'correct' to say here. It would come off as unnecessarily sharp, and likely make the entire conversation take a turn for the worse. I didn't want for our family to be strained like this.
"That would be right… but we're not there yet. So, when the day was over, some weeks after first meeting we'd spend some time just sitting around, talking at cafes and such. It really just served as a diversion from my dissatisfaction with how things had turned out."
"You must've been very dissatisfied, then…"
I quickly realized what I said, and felt my face going hot. Did I really just do that? I might as well have called her some more direct form of insult, and it'd have the same effect. This… this was unlike me, right? I've heard my tongue could be sharp, but I never really felt so before now.
Mom ignored it, blessedly, but dad's eyes darkened even further, if that was possible at this point. No, I had taken being on the accusing end a little too far, it seems. The temptation to apologize burned in me, which I shoved down lest this went even more south.
"We quickly grew closer, being together nearly every day after finishing up in the office. Despite my instincts faintly warning me, and deep down knowing all too well this maybe wasn't proper, I didn't object. I deluded myself into thinking this was the remedy life provided me with to endure the situation."
I peeked at dad, trying to see what he's thinking. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't have been able to calmly listen to this in his position. But the usual composure governed again, and he kept his promise perfectly. His dependability in that was not to be underestimated, if one thing was to be said.
"Unsurprisingly, it soon grew out of proportion and we got a little too comfortable. One time, I brought him over to see you, Ayase. I introduced him to my parents as a friend, and we both played with you for some time. You were in a good mood that day… that laugh of yours was so adorable. Well, that very same night, our relationship came to an abrupt end."
For a moment there, she faraway look on her face. Almost immediately afterwards, her previous state returned.
"I honestly don't want to go into the details… let's just longing, a good amount of confusion and alcohol was involved. I can't remember who initiated, he or me. All in all, it really doesn't matter. We both agreed to cut ties afterward."
So it just… happened? I had no comment. Affairs between people… they constantly popped up in novels, movies, all sorts of entertainment. Being a frequent theme in media, one really grows accustomed to not caring or taking a minute about what happened. Even I, whenever I come across such a development, just try to figure out what it means for the overall story. The feelings of persons involved and such wasn't something to take into consideration.
Never had it occurred to me it could happen in our family. Now obviously, everyone thinks that, but in my case it is justified. All the time I had known them, my parents were honest with each other and valued propriety, manners and etiquette highly. To think that something so… I don't even know how to say it, something that so feels everyday but is almost unheard of, something that is the polar opposite of what my parents are had been right under my nose essentially my whole life….
"Then you discovered it, right?"
"Yes, apparently all means of prevention had failed, as became clear a month later. At first, I was terrified; how would I face Touma, what would I say to Kaito… after some lamentation, I called up your father and…"
"Ichika, we don't need to go into that. I can take over from this point. Ayase, after informing my superiors of the events, I got permission to head home and sort things out. You were once again scooped off to your grandparents not to overhear our… discussion. That very obvious decision was perhaps the best one we'd made in our entire life."
The sun had progressed a fair amount downward since beginning our conversation, and no signs indicated we'd be finished before it disappeared entirely. Silence accompanied its trip, a silence I almost wished was replaced with the screaming they so hinted at.
No, get a grip of yourself, Ayase. It's clear your parents are as ashamed as you, and were just as, if not more shocked than you are now. Shut up and listen.
"You can probably guess this could've been grounds for divorce. I did consider it as well; you can likely imagine how I felt in that situation. While being away working for the family, my wife goes ahead and gets tangled up in this. As if my efforts were not only disregarded, rather deliberately mocked. I knew she didn't intend so, but remaining rational wasn't easy."
"But you're still together? I… how did that happen?"
Normal people would be nowhere near each other if something like this happened. Yet these two have made up enough to hide everything from me? Enough for it to essentially be discovered by chance? As if someone had installed a rollercoaster in my stomach, my emotions were thrown around into a mix of confusion, anger and amazement.
"I had to ask myself one thing: Would I get hung up and ruin our entire marriage, our dreams and hopes, and the childhood of our daughter? Or no matter how much it stung, remember that my wife is human, that much of the reason was me not being here? To ignore the feeling of betrayal and forgive her? When put this way, all became much clearer."
"So you two made up? What about… Kanata, then?"
Sensing the pressuring atmosphere having been partially lifted, I nearly sighed in relief. However, remembering that name, the relief vanished. All this they'd kept from me? If they just sat down to have a conversation with me some years ago, I wouldn't have had to find out like this. Kirino's brother told me that I could at times be scary. I myself didn't share this sentiment, but if someone said it now, I'm not sure if disagreeing with them could be counted as reasonable.
"Well, even though I forgave her and we ended up reconciling, as you can probably see, not everything is quite settled. My condition for accepting this all was simple: the child couldn't stay in this house. Luckily, once we told that man of everything, he instantly agreed to take care of him."
"Still, how did you keep this secret from me? Surely mom's pregnancy is something I would've noticed…"
"Remember, you were less than two years old back then. Whenever you got curious about the size of your mother's belly, we just said something along the lines of 'because she had eaten so much'."
Well, I can't really hold them at fault for that. Telling small, white lies to kids that meddle in matters they shouldn't… doesn't every parent do that? Even those that abhor lies.
"You were sent off to your grandparents again, while Ichika was in hospital. Soon thereafter, the child got picked up by the father, and we haven't seen them since, only heard that they were doing fine a few times. The consequences this had for the entire family is… unnecessary to mention."
All the cards had been laid on the table, it seems. My mother had come into an unfortunate affair in a time of weakness, for which they were both partially at fault. Then this whole debacle played out, and the two continued their relationship… Of course, I now had now been provided with the explanation for the arguments they had around a decade prior. Probably on the subject of telling me. I sincerely wish they did. Way to ruin my last free day.
Not to mention, they have basically been lying to me most of my life. Being the president of the PTA, mom often told me stories of things happening among local families and teenagers, which I now recognize greatly influenced my view on standard morality, what one shouldn't do… Now I find out the very person telling me all that is caught up in very much the same. Is it any wonder my very fundamentals were shaken?
As for her motivation for telling me those things… perhaps to make sure I don't commit the same mistakes? To succeed where she failed? I was just throwing wild speculation around at this point. Having learned of all this being quietly in ascendancy for how they behaved, and how I was raised…
"I… need to think about this, to find out to forgive you or not. However, mom, the phone call just now… his parents died in an accident, right? And there's a lack of relatives capable of taking him in?"
Every facet of logic pointed toward the answer I almost refused to think of. I was unsure of the reason for my reluctance; if it really was true, my life could be turned upside down, my peace be gone for good. Although, I suppose that was unavoidable at this point… a stone had been hurled into the middle of my life, and the current words were the waves battering relentlessly at the shore.
"The call right now was a request that he be allowed to live here for an… unspecified amount of time."
No one wanted to respond to the question we'd all quietly arrived at, so we sat and stared at the air in front of us, attempting to further digest and sort out our thoughts. We're to decide whether he can stay here. And this decision will impact someone's life in a huge way, aside from ours. I don't know where he'll end up if we say no. An orphanage? Foster parents? I doubted any of those would do much good him. Not that I could know anything about that, as I had never met… my brother, apparently.
Finally, mom opened her mouth, carefully considering every word that left lips.
"Well, if the need should arise, I don't think it'd be impossible to fit him in… the room upstairs has stood empty for a long while now. The beginning of the school year would be the best time to move…"
"Don't you remember, Ichika? He wouldn't stay in this house. I still stand by that. Furthermore, think about it; food, clothes, god knows how many extras… not to mention what he represents."
Right... the issue of money wasn't one to be neglected, and for what he represented… my opinions differed from his on that, but I could absolutely understand his point of view. Forgiving his wife after all these events, then have the very personification of that be implanted into the household…
Mom took a deep breath, and took a moment to sort out her thoughts before beginning.
"Yes, I remember! How could I forget? But Touma, regardless of the circumstances, he is still my son! You're completely right, we did agree he wouldn't live here. But things have changed over the last decade. Had you asked me any other time, or if things had been a little different, I'd have been the last one to suggest this. However, with the current outlook, all sense of decency dictates that we help the poor child!"
Even I was a little surprised at the passion in her voice. Dad seemed taken aback, a look of mild disbelief on his face, as if he was unsure of what to do. I acknowledged that he is in the right, technically. Both had agreed to the main point of his argument. Normally, this would've been the end of it, if mom wasn't correct as well. My thought process apparently reflected dad's, who seemed to arrive at a similar conclusion.
"A promise is a promise. We're both on the same page there, aren't we? …But, you're also partly right. Don't we two try to be moral? I agree that your proposal is probably the… moral one in this case. I'd be inclined to do as you say… but I simply can't bring myself. Do you understand what I mean? I can't help but remember everything that happened whenever we talk about him. To have him here… I'm not sure what'd happen."
"We're at an impasse here… just like before. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the beans have been spilled. Ayase… what do you say we should do?"
Amidst their exchange, I had nearly forgotten to speak. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Come on, this is what I've been waiting for. To actually have a say in the matters regarding my life. After being left out of this for the last ten years or so, being lied to, I could finally try to help in the mess my parents had created.
"I agree with dad. That he can't stay in this house… all the present parties said so. And both of you told me that these things are to be kept. Not to mention, you two hid from me that I have a brother. You lied to me… and to bring him here would be to stare that lie in straight in the face. No wonder I don't really want to have him here."
None of them showed any explicit signs hinting at their reaction, but I could make out a twinge of sadness creeping into the eyes of mom. I fully meant what I said. This situation wasn't one for jokes.
"However, what's right doesn't always agree with our desires. He just lost both his parents, and we refuse to help him because of our squabbles? Quite the people we are. Yes, we have the possibility of accepting him. Who knows how it'll go? We'd all come to terms with it in some way regardless. What's an inconvenience for us compared to life and well-being of someone? As much as it pains me to say this… we should let him come."
Even as I said that, I hoped for some circumstance or another it wouldn't be necessary, although I knew better by then. My words seemed to have been taken into consideration. Very much so, in fact.
"Well… hasn't our daughter grown up under our noses? I think you're right, Ayase. After all, what is wealth for if not to help out those in need? Also, you haven't had a chance to say anything about this until now, so it's only fair we take you into account. Don't you agree, dear?"
Mom appeared to have regained some of her usual mood, probably because of me supporting her. It wasn't entirely my intention, but… no reason to be upset about it. Dad squirmed around, eyes darting between his daughter and wife. He clearly didn't want to surrender, but knew deep down he really should at this point. Basically, he was pitting his sense of reason against his emotions. For such a man as himself, it must've been a gruesome experience.
We observed quietly for a little while longer, until he exclaimed raggedly:
"So be it. Until everything gets sorted out, I'll do my best to turn a blind eye."
He arose, and had to put in conscious effort into every step. As he left for the office, I turned to look at mom, who met my gaze, almost seeming to give off an aura of peace. Before she had time to say anything, I cut her short.
"Mom, the only reason I said what I said was because I think that is what's right. Nothing more. I still haven't completely made up my mind how I feel about this."
She nodded in understanding, her face displaying perhaps a little shame. With how alike the two of us were, it felt a little like staring into a mirror. I never could stay too mad at her… even if this time, I suspected it would be more lasting. I stood, and closed off the conversation.
"I'm heading up to my room. Chances are I won't be coming down today. Good night."
"Good night."
I nearly got to the door before being interrupted again.
"Ayase, about your father… try not to be too hard on him, okay? You know how he can be."
"I'll try, but I won't promise anything. …On another note, when do you think… he'll arrive?"
"I'd assume within the week. I'll go respond to them now. The call was urgent, but packing all the things is probably going to take a little time."
Leaving off at that, I climbed the stairs to arrive at the hallway in front of my room. It hadn't been terribly long since initially left, come to think of it. The black carpet still decorated the floor, covering the pattern of brown wood inlaid with black dots everywhere except for the very edges. Halfway faded white tapestry, a wooden shelf with a mirror on top and dark green going around the edges… still the same. Funny how so much could change in such a short amount of time, yet leave no visible mark on any of its surroundings.
I entered my room, slumping down on the bed with my eyes on the ceiling. The magazine from earlier hadn't moved a millimeter, and seemed to stare into my eyes, as if trying to convey something. Lifeless piece of paper, back to your place. I wouldn't tolerate it in my right now, not in my current mood.
Exactly what mood was it? I didn't know myself. Angry? Partly. Upset? Absolutely. Most of all, my instincts screamed to shove it away, not to dwell on it too much. I knew very well that the sooner I digested it, the better, but I lacked the strength. Perhaps school tomorrow might distract me from it. Despite only introductory events happening on the first day, in a setting with so many people one rarely had the time to focus on external matters.
That would no longer be a possible in the coming days. After all, my brother I didn't know I had would move into the room only a few meters from mine. In fact, only a few walls separated them. Putting aside all the issues of acceptance, a new person in the household drastically changes things, for better or worse. Hoping not to run into him was simply delusional, and entirely impossible. Well, I suppose ignoring him is an option, however improper. Having it in the back of my mind as a reserve cannot hurt.
How would I break the news to my friends? Bringing up the topic of siblings with Kirino… I nearly laughed out at the thought. Not that there should really be any reason for it to be particularly funny… nevertheless, I'll definitely avoid to lingering on that subject.
The main issue is the entire family debacle. I suppose that going into the explicit details is unnecessary, although they might get a little curious with too many unanswered questions. Ugh… I still had a few days decide how I felt about all this. Yes, I'd gladly partake in the chance to delay all uncomfortable pondering, no matter how deleterious it might prove in the future.
Kanako should be free after school tomorrow. Perhaps we could go shopping around Shibuya or something. Being with her tended to set my mind at ease, for a reason unknown to me. Her often childlike attitude had the ability to make all my worries seem insignificant as I observed it in action. We had never discussed it, but she appeared to have recognized this fact, which was probably her reason for showing it to me more often than to others, even Kirino.
She might come along as well. Kyousuke most likely was busy with sorting out his university business, the finer nuances of which I hadn't been involved in. I hadn't any reason to be involved either; I was only a friend to him. A friend, not too particularly close. Not enough for us to really meet aside from when Kirino was in the picture, unlike a year prior. I also seemed to have a tendency to unconsciously avoid him. I would still talk to him and share a few jokes on occasion. Not much further beyond that. I knew about as little of the reason for this as your man on the street did. Well, since he couldn't be with Kirino, she may have a little more time for others.
While I prepared to take a shower, I noted how I hadn't heard any raised voices coming from downstairs during my entire stay up here. Taking it as a good sign, I headed over across the hall, and closed the door to the bathroom behind me. We had both a bathtub and a shower, although only the shower saw active use nowadays. Since fashion held a fairly important role in my life, the types of body lotions, shampoos and other cosmetics in the bathroom reached for the skies, by a regular person's perspective. It didn't matter, in the grand scheme of things.
After finishing, I left the cabinet reinvigorated, quickly putting on pajamas before wrapping a towel around my hair. It was just about time to go to sleep… if one wanted to rest up properly, anyways. My parents kept their promise of not bothering me, until I headed to the kitchen to grab a last bite. As I sat down to finish my slice of bread, mom entered from the living room, displaying a neutral expression.
"Are you all right, Ayase?"
"Yes. Why?"
I had no desire for longer conversations, which I attempted to signal through conciseness.
"No… it's not important. Are you looking forward to school tomorrow?"
"I guess so."
"That's good, then. Listen, between the two of us… once Kanata arrives…I don't really know his personality, or what he likes. But I can imagine losing his family was a traumatizing experience. For some reason, I feel as though getting close enough to support him in my position would be nigh impossible… so I'll ask you. Keep an eye on him, would you? He is your little brother… after all.
"If you ask so… I'll try. I'll try."
Mom appeared content with my answer. Closing off further discussion, I left and headed to brush my teeth, mulling over what she said. To keep an eye on him? I was pretty sure she meant help him get settled into the household, make sure he's all right. It could help me better get used to him, hopefully accept him… yes, this favor wasn't a too large one.
So, school. I'd get to meet my new class, into which unluckily neither Kirino nor Kanako had been placed. Unfortunate, but as I had already gotten over the initial shock, dwelling on it further was unnecessary. I'd have the last few days of the new semester like before, then… well, a new person would appear.
Setting my alarm for seven in the morning, I slumped onto my bed, draping myself in my blankets. The sun had set, but small fragments of its light could still be seen, though mostly obstructed the flat row of similar-looking houses in our neighborhood. A very fine one it was; plenty of room for youngsters to run around and play, an activity I myself sometimes partook in, at least during my early childhood. I should enjoy what semblance of peace I would have in the following days, and appreciate the normalcy. While it wasn't one of my values, and I exactly didn't revel in it, one can hardly deny it has a certain charm to it.
On that happy note, I drifted into dreamland. Or more precisely, I did so after struggling to quell the unrelenting assault of thoughts attempting to fill my head and keep me awake. Phantom images of what might be coming in the future… neither positive nor negative. They made me roll around in anticipation nevertheless.
Roll around… in anticipation. Hold on a second… I couldn't possibly be excited about this… right?
AN: As a side note, I first learned of the existence of the other Ayase-brother story around a week after finishing this draft. Here I thought I was being so terribly original... well, although it holds no significance to the story, I felt it's worth mentioning.