A/N: I just want to say that I am a huge Matthew Casey fan, and I ship Dawsey very hard as well as Sevasey. So, writing this story will probably be quite depressing to write. But I have had this idea in my head ever since "Not Like This" aired, and I wondered what would have happened if Casey actually died. So, here is my attempt at writing an alternate ending for Casey's injury. Please read and review! :)
Gabby's POV:
I pace in front of the building, tears starting to pool in my eyes as I watch the rest of the guys go in for Matt. I could hear his PASS alarm over the roaring flames, the creaking structure, and the shouting of our colleagues. He wasn't moving. Wherever he was in there, he wasn't moving. And if he wasn't moving, he could either be unconscious or…
No., I think to myself. Don't think like that. Matt is strong. He'll get through this. He's been injured before. My thoughts don't ease my worries one bit, and I move my eyes away from the burning building, afraid to see what would come out of it. Then I hear shouting, and it forces my gaze back to the structure. I see Matt hobble out, blood clearly visible in his mask, with his arms wrapped securely around a baby.
"Oh God," I breathe, the words flowing out of my mouth carelessly as I run over to him. He was out of it, that much was obvious. I carefully take the baby from his arms and hand her over to another paramedic of another ambulance. When I look back down at Matt, he's on the ground, definitely unconscious now. My tears flow down my cheeks and I attempt to wipe them away with the sleeve of my turnout jacket. The guys are surrounding us now, helping anyway they can.
Mills and Severide work on getting his mask off, and that's when the blood on his face becomes completely visible. I move my eyes away for just a second, unable to look at my battered and bloody boyfriend's face. "Come on bud," Severide says, lifting Casey on the backboard with the help of the rest of the guys. "Come on, one, two, three, go." They lift him onto the gurney and they start running for the ambulance, and I follow them on their heels. Once Casey is in, I jump in as well with Severide right behind me. The ambulance takes off, and I immediately start to work on Casey.
"Help me take his jacket off," I manage to tell Severide through my tears. He and I take Casey's turnout jacket off and drop it to the side. I get the scissors and cut through his Lieutenant shirt, his body starting to convulse. I struggle putting his oxygen mask on, my emotions and worries really starting to catch up to me. "Come on, Matt!" I shout helplessly, noticing that Severide's emotions were also starting to get to him. "Not like this Matt, not like this!" My lip starts to quiver and Kelly looks over at me, his worries for Matt obvious in his expression.
Only a few seconds later does the ambulance stop, and our doors are ripped open by nurses who have been expecting us. Severide and I help them push the gurney out of the ambulance and inside the hospital, and I tell the doctors about Matt's condition the best I can without sobs breaking up my words. When the time comes to separate away from Matt, at first I don't want to leave, and I stay by his side, clinging onto his hand. The doctor gives me a stern, yet slightly sympathetic look, and I reluctantly let go of Matt's hand.
As I watch them rush Matt down the hallway, I am no longer able to control my emotions. I cover my mouth with my hand and start to sob, trying to get Matt's broken image out of my mind. Shay comes over to me and wraps her arm around my shoulder, and I helplessly collapse into her body, staining her paramedic jacket with my tears. She doesn't say anything, and I'm thankful for that. I don't want anybody to promise me that he's going to be okay, because they don't know that for sure.
Severide's POV:
I slowly take my turnout jacket off and put it in the chair beside me, leaning forward in my chair. I rest my elbows on my knees and place my head in my hands, a million thoughts running through my mind. Matthew Casey, my best friend, my brother, could have spent his last day on this planet. We have had conflicts in the past, yes, but at the end of day, I have his back and he has mine. He was the first person I went to when I decided to move to Madrid, and hoped he would talk me out of it. But being the good, understanding person he is, he supported my decision. I shake my head just remembering that night, and wipe at the tear falling down my cheek.
"Come on, Matt," I mumble softly to myself. "You gotta get through this. You can't go out, not right now, not like this." I wipe at another tear and lift my head up, scanning the room. Dawson and Shay were hugging at the end of the hallway, still in the ER, with Dawson sobbing uncontrollably into Shay's shoulder. I lean my head against the wall and remember when Matt told me about his relationship with Gabby.
"Hey man, thought I'd find you here," Casey tells me, smiling as he sits down in the chair next to mine. I smile back at him and nod, sipping my beer.
"You thought right," I say, nodding and turning my body to face his. "So what brings you to Molly's on a Thursday night?"
"Well, I was hoping I'd catch you here, actually." He says, waving Otis over to order a beer for himself. Otis hands him his beer, and Matt thanks him before making sure he's out of earshot.
"What's going on, Casey?" I ask, slightly concerned and curious.
"Nothing is wrong," he assures me, smiling a little for extra reassurance. "I just want to tell you something, and I don't want anybody else knowing yet."
"Alright," I nod, smiling a little also. "What is it?" I watch as he smiles once again, unable to get it off his lips as he sips his beer. "Come on man, what is it?" I chuckle, shaking my head at him.
"Gabby and I...we're dating now." He says, quietly enough so only I can hear. My face breaks out into a smile, and so does his.
"I knew it!" I yell happily. "I knew you and Dawson would find your way together eventually. I'm happy for you, man. I really am. You seem happy."
"I am happy," he says confidently, smiling as he nods. "I really am. She makes me feel...so good, I mean I guess I can't really explain it. But I didn't even get this feeling when I was with Hallie, and we were together for a long time."
I nod, listening to him as I smile and sip my beer. "I'm glad you're finally happy again. I know you've gone through a lot of shit this past year, and I wasn't always there, but I'm here now. Whatever you need."
"Thanks, Kelly." He says, giving me a sincere smile. "I appreciate that, and you know I'm here for you too, right?"
"Yeah," I smile, nodding at him. "We're brothers, nothing is going to change that."
"You got that right," he says, smiling and holding up his beer a little. I clink my bottle with his, and smile as we both take our drinks.
It seemed as if I held that conversation with him an hour ago, but in reality, it was almost a month ago now. I sigh deeply and close my eyes, trying to calm my worries. But the last image I had of him was in the ambulance, and at that point he was looking anything but good.
"Mind if I sit here?" A husky and deep voice asks, and I open my eyes to see Chief standing in front of me, pointing to the chair with my turnout jacket. I nod somberly and pick up my jacket, putting it on the floor in front of me as Boden sits next to me. I notice for the first time that the waiting room was now completely full of the guys from the firehouse, and Gabby had also joined us, leaning her body up against a wall, in deep thought. Shay was nowhere to be found, so I assumed she was trying to get an update on the baby or Casey's condition.
I look over the face's and expressions of the guys, and I'm anything but surprised when I see that they're all stained with worry and fear. I spot Hermann with his hands crossed, mumbling something softly. I then realize he's praying, and look away, a bit shocked. He had never been a man to talk about religion, or God, and sometimes even criticized Christianity mildly. I turn my attention to Cruz, Mills, and Mouch, and notice that they're all sitting and staring in disbelief.
I can understand their reluctance to accept the situation. Casey has always seemed invincible. Last year he jumped out of a window, and somehow, by some miracle, had managed to grab onto the ladder. I remember pulling him up and out of danger, and close my eyes again as I lean my head against the wall. Another time last year he had a ceiling collapse on him, and was caught on fire. Cruz had luckily pushed him out of the window and the Engine guys put the fire out, and Casey escaped the scene with nothing but a small, mild burn. And then this year, while crawling on a ladder from one building to the next, he escaped another dangerous situation. The ladder between the two windows had given out, and the ladder fell to the ground beneath him. He thought fast, and gripped the hose he had been carrying, and hung from the window while Mills and I helped him back up.
But his luck had run out. All of those close calls he had barely mattered now. All we could hope for now, was just a little more luck.
Gabby's POV:
I lean my head against the back of the wall as yet another minute goes by. Antonio had just left with Clarke in tow, and Shay had already informed us on the baby's condition. I'm definitely happy that the baby is alright, but my worries for Matt were steadily increasing, and all I wanted was news on what was going on. The waiting room has been silent, except for Mills' speech about being a firefighter and a couple of coughs and sniffles.
"Gabriela, why don't you sit down for a little while? It might help." Chief suggests, standing up and walking towards me. I shake my head and wipe a tear away from my cheek, meeting his eyes.
"No, but thanks Chief. I think I'll stand." There were a few empty chairs, but right now, I can't imagine sitting in one. He nods at me, gives me a gentle and reassuring squeeze of my shoulder, then goes back to his seat next to Kelly.
"Who here is closest to Matthew Casey?" A red headed doctor asks, stepping into the room. I stand up straight, tears clouding my vision, as I anticipate the worst.
"You may speak to all of us." Chief says, standing up, along with the rest of the guys and Shay.
"I'm sorry, but I need to speak to whoever he is closest with." The doctor says sadly, and from my past work at the hospital, I know what this means.
"Kelly, you go. You're his best friend." Chief says, putting his hand on Severide's shoulder. Severide shakes his head, tears rolling down his face, and looks over at me.
"No, Gabby needs to go. They were together." Severide chokes out, and tears also start to roll down my face. He, too, knows what this means.
"Alright, Gabriela, follow me." The doctor says, giving the guys and Shay a sad look before walking to the end of the hallway. Most of the guys still don't know for sure what is happening, but they can sense the worst is coming. I follow the doctor down the hallway, trying to catch my tears as they come down my face. The doctor turns to me, giving me a torturing, somber look. "He had an epidural hematoma, and we tried to operate on him, but the bleed was too much. He passed at ten eighteen tonight. I am so sorry for your loss, Gabriela. We tried our very best to save him. We really did."
There it was. My worst fears, coming true. The doctor rests her hand on my shoulder for comfort, but I back away until my back hits the wall. I slide down until my body makes contact with the floor, and start to sob. This can't be happening, not after we just started our life together as an official couple. I never got to tell him how I felt, how I truly felt towards him. I bury my head in my hands and let myself cry like I've never cried before. I can hear some of the guys cry from the other end of the hallway, and assume they had been watching my conversation with the doctor, looking at my reaction for their answer.
It felt like a billion punches to my heart all at once. It suddenly felt like I had been living in a colored world my whole life, and it suddenly switched to black and white. Nothing is clear anymore. Matt is gone, he's gone and I'll never be able to see that smile cross his face ever again. I'll never be able to kiss his lips again, just like I'll never be able to feel his skin against mine. I'll never wake up in bed next to him, and I won't ever catch him gazing at me lovingly at the firehouse again.
Nothing makes sense. This isn't fair. My last conversation with him was rough, and the guilt of our fight was eating me from the inside out, and only added to the pain. He was so young...he had so much ahead of him….he had so much to live for. This isn't the way things were supposed to happen. We were supposed to have a long and happy relationship, with perhaps a marriage and children in the future.
I continue to sob uncontrollably in my hands, longing for Matt's comfort. Somebody wraps an arm around my shoulder, and I don't look to see who it is, I just imagine it's Matt next to me. I lean into his body, and pretend it's his lips that press down on my head.
"Shh, it's okay Gabby." Shay's weak and stuttering voice soothes, pulling me out of my imagination. The realization of it all suddenly hits me hard, and I cry even harder into Shay. I hear her cry as well, but she tries her best to compose herself as much as she can, for my sake.
I wish over and over in my head for this to just be a dream. "Please, Shay, please wake me up from this nightmare." I cry, my body shaking violently from my sobs. She continues to soothe me as best as she can, but I can notice the pain in her voice. This can't be happening. Matt is...dead. The thought of it only fuels my emotions further, and I hold onto Shay like she's the only thing I have left in this world.