1. Reagan
"Reagan stop!"
It sounded so far away. Miles and miles away. Low and muted, but I still heard the words. Still saw the terror, the disbelief in his wide dark eyes, eyes that were so much like mine. Those eyes that usually resembled a crisp fall leaf were now muddied and filled with fear. Because of me, because of the wolf.
Because I wouldn't stop
Couldn't stop
I had to continue to attack and attack and attack
I had to end him right here
I could feel the heat of the fire singe my fur; smell the thick and heady scent of ash in the air, but it was mixed with something else. Something sharp and reminiscent of wet pennies. Then suddenly the man in front of me faded away, the only thing remaining was his pleas of mercy.
The fire continued to crackle and the house continued to crash and burn around me. Trapping me. Closing me in.
Escape
That's all that ran through my mind, but I was stuck, the hulking mass that was my wolf too large to get out of the crumbling house without bringing it down faster.
I shift back into my human form, and crack and pop of my bones leaving a dull ache within my body but giving me more space to move.
More space to breath
It was easier to keep the smoke from entering my lungs but the flames felt twice as hot so I begin to maneuver through the house. Running down a flight of stairs that had already crumbled on one side.
I was almost there; the door was in sight on the other side of the room. I made a break for it forcing my weak legs to carry me forward. Closer and closer until a resounding crack is heard and a beam of wood falls in front of my exit, splintered and burning but still in my way. Then the smell of wet pennies returned, stronger and heavier. It was coming from right in front of me.
Despite the need to escape I continued forward. Closer and closer until my bare foot stepped in a liquid, warm and thick, and the tinny scent was right on top of me.
Stomach churning I glanced at the beam, but my eyes travelled to what was under it. The prone form of a grey wolf was trapped beneath the ablaze timber. Grey fur that was dark and matted around a noticeable gash on its side. Soft whimpers just barely audible over the whooshing and swirling of the flames.
Bile climbed up the back of my throat and my heart felt a pang of guilt and strangely of fear.
The wolf shifted and suddenly there was a woman with dark brown hair and not a stitch of clothing. What was once dark and matted fur was now flesh and I could clearly see the gash she had stretching down her side. The bile climbed higher but I pushed it down.
The anger, the need to kill that was fueling me was suddenly gone. All that was left was the sting of regret. I need to help her; I need to fix what I've caused.
As if she read my mind her head slowly began to lift. Despite half of her face being already burnt and her body being caked in blood and fresh wounds she looked me in the eye.
And she smiled.
"Go Reagan, run get out of here"
I froze in confusion.
Why is she smiling? Why would she tell me to run?
I did this to her, I'm the reason she's bleeding to death.
So much blood
Blood on the ground, the smell of blood in the air, blood on my hands…
I couldn't breathe. Maybe my blood made its way to my lungs to suffocate me for what I've done. I fall to my knees hand grasping at my chest trying to inhale enough air. I hear the woman weakly call out my name and raise my head just enough to catch her eyes. Straining my ears I barely hear her fading words
"Ní mar a shíltear a bhítear."
A warmth enveloped me, different from the raging heat of the fire. This warmth was gently taking me in, as if someone was wrapping their arms around me in a hug.
The woman in front of me was being washed away by a bright light that continued to get stronger until the ablaze house was completely shut out from my vision.
I cry out in protest and reach my hand out to someone who's already gone. I feel tears start to fall down my cheeks and bow my head choking back sobs.
Her eyes shoot open and as she rolls off the bed onto her hands and knees. Her sweat soaked body shook as she greedily drank in the clean air of her apartment. She continued to breathe sporadically until her head felt a little dizzy and then took in deep breath and letting it out slowly allowing her trembling body to calm until she was completely still.
Feeling the fuzziness of the carpet beneath her reality seeped back into her bones. The threat of the nightmare fades to a ghost that has been following her for so long that it has become easier to ignore.
Once she calmed down she flopped on her back trying recall the already fading nightmare. The details were always a little different but the underlying fact remained the same.
She killed them; she lost control and killed her parents…
Swallowing past the lump in her throat and blinking back tears she focused. There was something her mom said that she never heard before. Ní mar a shíltear a bhítear.
"Things aren't as they seem," Regan mutters letting the gears turn in her head. That was new; out of all the nightmares she's had of that night it's never ended like that. She tries to think, she remembers the words that were said all those years ago with crystal clarity, but that phrase…
Something stirs inside of her, something too deep for Reagan to reach. It makes her stomach swirl and the front of her head spike with pain. The wolf growls, ears flat against its head, tail twitching, wanting to come out and destroy something so she pushes the thoughts away and waits for the wolf to calm down.
After a moment Deciding that she can't just lay there forever she finally sits up and reaches for her cellphone that's resting on her bedside table. 5:24am is lit up on her screen and Reagan groans. She has to be up in an hour so there's no point in going back to sleep (not that she could but one could hope).
Standing up she begins to stretch and shake off any lingering sluggishness. She figures she might as well get a head start and scrounge up some food and shower before she has to go pick up Amy.
If Reagan was honest with herself she's been, well, a little preoccupied. She wasn't avoiding her girlfriend per say but she also wasn't putting as much effort into seeing her. She feels bad about it, but she can't exactly explain to Amy that's she keeps having nightmares about killing her parents. Shoe also couldn't just pretend that there wasn't anything wrong because the moment Amy looked at her, hell the moment she tried to speak to her, she'd know something was up. So she's avoiding her, or she was until Amy basically begged her to drive her to school. So here she was in her girlfriends' driveway as Amy tries to persuade her to a date night.
"Oh come on Rae, I feel like we haven't hung out, just the two of us in forever." Reagan told herself not to look in the younger girls' direction, she knew as soon as she looked in her eyes she would cave like a house of cards.
"I know Shrimps; it's just been a busy past couple of days."
Amy stopped walking pulling Reagan back by their entwined hands. Reagan tried to keep looking the other way she really did but the blonde was having none of it. She cupped the other girls' face and made eye contact with her.
As soon as Reagan saw the pout on her girlfriends face she knew she was a goner.
"Aw come on, I know you have a waiting gig this afternoon but tonight you're off, so let's go out. Maybe we can go to that sushi place that you like." Amy punctuated her statement with a quick kiss to Reagan's lips.
"Please" A kiss on the cheek,
"Please" One on the nose,
"Pleeease" A trail of kisses along her jaw line, Reagan placed her free hand on Amy's waist and squeezed. She began to take slow deep breathes trying to calm her erratic heart. When Amy nipped at her collarbone she had to close her eyes and stifle a moan as her wolf begged to be set free.
A breathless 'Amy' escaped her lips as she resisted rocking her hips forward. She felt a smirk against her neck as a lingering kiss was planted there. Another quiet 'please' was whispered against the shell of her ear and she had to squeeze her thighs together embarrassed from the dampness in her underwear.
When Amy finally leaned back with mischief in her eyes and a smirk on her lips Reagan couldn't help but wonder what happened to the shy and nervous girl she first started dating.
"You don't play fair"
"Well I haven't heard a no yet so…"
"Okay, okay, we'll go out tonight" Amy gave her another peck on the lips before releasing her hand and getting into the passenger side of Reagan's truck.
'This is going to be a long night'
Everything was going well so far she picked Amy up from her house, they ate and then headed to an arcade where Reagan proceed to school Amy in skeeball.
"You can't be afraid to get low Shrimps" Regan actually got on her knees in front of the machine, "Kids do better at skeeball since they're so short. Then you have to be patient and familiarize yourself with the machine and find its sweet spot, just like with the ladies." Looking over her shoulder she gave Amy a wink causing a mild blush to appear on the blondes cheeks.
"You should be taking notes right now, these tips are gold."
Amy snorted. "What I need to be taking is pictures of my 'badass' girlfriend who's acting like a ten year old"
"Joke all you want Shrimps-" Reagan looked back at the skeeball machine shifting slightly to the left and then rolled the ball.
They both watched as the ball swiftly rolls up the ramp, banks off the side, and easily slides into the 100 point hole.
"But my technique works"
Even though Amy rolled her eyes at her eyes at her girlfriend and her childish behavior she couldn't stop smiling.
After throwing the other 8 balls Reagan ended up scoring a 700 and receiving about 2 and a half feet worth of tickets throwing Amy a self satisfied smirk.
"Come on high roller; let me show you where my favorite game is."
Walking deeper into the arcade they came to a halt in front of a red and yellow pinball like machine that read 'Speed Demon'.
Putting in her token Amy began to explain how the game worked. "So the first part is purely luck, you have to land the ball in the center of machine in one of the red holes, you have about a 30 percent chance of it going in…" Amy trailed off as she concentrated on the rotating ball watching as it slowed down and plopped into one of the red holes.
Switching their gaze to the backboard part a light began to rotate around a bunch of numbers.
"This next part is purely skill; you have to stop the light on one of the red arrows to advance to one of the inner circles. There's three in total but you want to only get to the second one, the third is basically impossible to win and you end up with only 20 tickets."
Amy hit the lit up 'stop' button and the machine let out a childlike 'you did it' before advancing to one of the smaller circles.
"When you're in the second circle it's easy to aim for the hundred and-" Amy quickly hits the 'stop' button again and the 100 was lit up. "Bam instant 100 tickets at least a third of the time. It's all math really."
As they waited for the tickets to finish dispensing Regan wrapped her arms around Amy's wait from behind and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I didn't know you were a math nerd Shrimps." Amy shrugs, "What can I say, statistics are my forte"
"Remind me to take you to Vegas one day, we'll make out like thieves." Amy just chuckled turning her head to give Reagan slow kiss.
"As long as I get to be Clyde" Reagan wrinkles her nose, "I don't think I want to get shot multiple times by the cops Shrimps."
Amy frowns.
"We'll leave that part out obviously, but how about the traveling all over just you and me, minus the robbing and killing of course, what do you think of that."
Reagan leaned her head on Amy's shoulder. "I think it sounds great, when pray tell were you planning on doing this?"
"During summer vacation, I figured you've probably saved up some vacation time, and maybe we could spend a week or two just driving, after all the drama we've gone through these past months I think we earned a vacation."
Reagan just buried her face into the crook of Amy's neck, letting her scent wash her away to late night dinner trips in new states, driving along route 66 radio blasting a mix that Reagan would have prepared especially for the occasion, nights spent looking up at the stars from the bed of her truck, visiting different tourist attractions, taking pictures and videos of all their adventures, and best of all uninterrupted time with Amy for a whole 14 days.
Reagan took another deep breathe to ground herself.
This felt like a big step, taking vacations alone together felt like they were officially saying, this is it, we're in this for the long haul.
She should feel intimidated; no she should feel scared out of her mind. The last time she took a trip alone with someone was with…
But Amy wasn't her, wouldn't ever be her, and fuck she's falling so hard for this girl
"Yeah, let's do it"
Amy turns around in her grasp and takes Reagan's chin in her hands making sure that they're looking each other in the eye, and for a moment they just stare.
The intensity in Amy's eyes makes Reagan shiver slightly.
But then the moment dissipates and Amy's smiling, eyes bright with happiness, and Reagan thinks maybe I've already hit the ground.
Gathering up the tickets Amy ushers them to the prize counter.
Reagan had used the tickets she won from the skeeball machine to get a tasmanian devil plush toy which she immediately presented to Amy and was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek and an affectionate 'dork' from her girlfriend.
Amy on the other hand get this bobble head duck that has DJ head phones on and a shirt that says 'chick magnet' and Reagan can only stop laughing long enough to kiss her pouting girlfriend and tell her she'll keep it on her dashboard forever.
They finally got back to Reagan's truck both and began their drive back to Amy's house.
Luckily the Amy from that afternoon hadn't resurfaced and instead was replaced with the Amy that gave her shy cute kisses and would 'discretely' steal food off of Reagan's plate just to turn around and start feeding her and would occasionally nuzzle closer to Reagan grabbing her hand under the table.
Except Reagan could tell that there was something else within those kisses, something in the way Amy would look a Reagan just a bit too long, and her smile would turn a bit too devious.
There was something sly and devious underneath the innocent façade Amy was projecting, like she knew something that Reagan didn't and that kept her slightly on edge all night.
As they drove to Amy's house they fell into a comfortable silence as Reagan kept her focus on the road while trying not to think about the fact that Amy's hand was resting on her knee. It was an innocent touch really but it still made her skin prickle and her hands tense on the steering wheel.
Instead of focusing on that warm pressure that she swore was slowly inching up her thigh the closer they got to the blonde's house she focused on breathing and not accidentally veering the both of them off the road.
After what felt like a decade (an eternity, a millennium) they were pulling into the driveway Reagan had just put the truck in park when Amy unbuckled her belt and began trailing a path of hot (burning, blazing) kisses along her neck.
Reagan felt light headed and a little faint (was it just her or was there less air inside the car?) she's also pretty sure she just let out a whine and, oh god, Amy was nibbling on her ear lobe.
She should stop this, she really should, but it felt so good and she could practically feel her wolf growling in anticipation.
She should stop this
They were taking things slow
But a little kissing couldn't hurt right?
Wrong
She was so very wrong
Apparently a little kissing can turn into a lot of kissing, and roaming hands, and lost shirts, and in Reagan's case a dull ache in her pants.
After smoothly sliding across the seat Amy ended up straddling Reagan whose hands were under the blondes' shirt and inching toward second base.
A growl was ripped from Reagan's throat as Amy leaned back gently dragging Reagan's bottom lip with her before releasing it and smirking at her panting girlfriend.
"No one's home right now-" and that's all Reagan had to hear. She quickly threw her jacket on (she couldn't even give you a hint to where her shirt was at the moment) and didn't even bother with her now loose hair.
After one more heated kiss Reagan slipped Amy off her lap and threw the door to truck open grabbing a now giggling Amy's hand and tugging her along up the driveway.
As Amy fumbles with the keys Reagan peppers kisses behind her earlobe, every now and again swiping her tongue against that spot that makes Amy's heart stutter and breathing pause.
Finally finding the right key Amy twists the lock and turns the doorknob dragging Regan into the house mouths fused to together again and-
Fuck
Reagan quickly pulls away from Amy.
No way
"Reagan?"
Her wolf growls and the color drains from her face.
"Rea?"
The heavy woodsy scent infused with honey is literally all over Amy's house.
Reagan slides down against the wall lowly muttering 'no' over and over again.
This is not happening she cannot be here.
Reagan feels like she's suffocating, the walls are closing in on her, air is not making its way to her lungs, and her bones are literally aching for her to shift and run away, run far, far away.
She almost jumps out of her skin when she feels something touch her arm.
Her eyes focused on the worried face of her girlfriend and fuck she forgot about Amy, she needs to get her out of here right now.
Suddenly jumping to her feet Reagan grabs Amy's hand and begins tugging her towards the door.
"Reagan, wait, stop, what's going on?"
"Amy we don't have time for questions we have to go!"
Still unconvinced Amy resists her frantic girlfriend's urgings and Reagan considers throwing Amy over her shoulder when she hears it-
Hears her-
"Aww Rae-bear, where's the fire?"
Reagan's spine immediately stiffens and she stands in front of Amy who is now squeezing her hand just a little too tightly.
"Don't you have time to come and have a chat with an old friend?"
And then she sees her
Slowly descending the stairs
A sway in her hips
A dangerous smirk on her dark red lips
Stormy blue eyes staring right at her, right through her
Reagan growls, actually growls and feels her canines grow and muscles tense as she prepares to turn and then-
She stops remembering Amy and realizing that if she changed now she'd be in even more danger, so she takes a breathe, muscles relaxing, teeth returning to normal size.
"What's the matter Rae-Rae, why aren't you jumping at me, afraid for your girlfriend?" she practically spits the word.
"Lila…" Reagan warns as she takes another step toward them, pausing and then rolling her eyes at Reagan's warning.
"Honestly, you need to chill out" Lila says as she leans against the wall as if they were just casually talking, as if this was normal.
"If I was going to do something, I would have done so already."
Amy squeezes Reagan's arm, "Regan… what's going on?" the dark haired girl can hear the fear in her Amy's voice.
"What's going on is- "Lila starts before Reagan can even think of how she can explain the situation that unfolding before them. "You two are going to sit down on that couch over there and I'm going to deliver the message I was sent here for."
Reagan considers running, bolting as fast as she can, but she knows it won't' work since Amy would slow her down, she knows Lila has the upper hand, so she slowly, carefully, takes Amy over to the couch keeping her close just in case.
Lila just looks at them, studying them, and after a moment smiles.
"Great let's get down to business."
Reagan's whole body was tensed and on edge.
They've been sitting in silence for the past five minutes and she was ready to just pounce on Lila and wish for the best (not that it would be much of a challenge) but the hand that was currently clasped in her right hand was keeping her grounded.
She could feel Amy's fear and confusion rolling off of her in waves and it made Reagan's stomach churn in guilt.
The silence stretched on and Reagan's jaw began to hurt from how hard she had it clenched. Words of impatience were on the tip of her tongue when Lila smirked and began to talk.
"Elliot wants you back"
Her blood ran cold
This was worse than she thought
Lila was one thing, but if Elliot was here the rest of the pack was too.
Fuck
She's screwed
Reagan took a deep breath in and focused her hearing.
She heard the chirping of the birds in the trees.
The sound of shifting dirt as squirrels dug up acorns that they had hidden away in fall.
The Gentle flow of water from the river she was standing in front of.
She could hear it all, could feel it with every inhale and exhale.
She wanted to imprint this moment in her mind forever.
The sound of giggling and splashing water made her open her eyes. She saw her brother lift Lila up and dunk her into the water as she tried to protest through laughter. A smile spread on Reagan's face as she jumped into the water swimming up to them. Lila's blue eyes caught hers and she began to call out to her for help.
"Hey Elliot, unhand my girlfriend!"
He smirked at her, eyes bright and mischievous.
"Hmm, I don't think so" Reagan could feel her own smile grow as she and her brother continued to stare each other down.
"Look we could do this the easy way or the hard way it doesn't really matter to me." He lifted his eyebrow at her, "Oh is that a challenge baby sister?" He set Lila down and his smirk grew.
"Maybe" Reagan shrugged her shoulders
"Well maybe I'm feeling a little lucky" Elliot replied before leaping forward and dunking Regan's head underwater. Regan kicked her legs causing Elliot to trip and fall back into the water. Popping her head up she began to swim toward the shore where Lila was waiting but then her leg was suddenly pulled backwards and she was being lifted up.
"Told ya I was feeling lucky" Regan began to laugh and wiggle around in her brothers' grip.
"I'll save you Rea" Lila yelled as she dived back into the water swimming up to them, "Release her you fiend"
Elliot deepened his voice and let a his best evil laugh, "Never, with this one out of the way I can become king of the river and no one can stop me, mwhaha"
"Oh really" Lila drawled, "Then if I do…" she sneaks her finger to the underside of his left bicep, "This, then it'll have no effect?" she began to tickle the spot causing Eliot burst out laughing, he let go of Reagan in order to swat Lila's hands away.
Once free Reagan swam away with Lila not far behind. When they made it back to shore Reagan wrapped her arms around Lila's waist, "My hero" she said staring into the shorter girls' electric blue eyes. T hey both started to lean in but before they can close the gap they are hit with a big splash of water.
"Hey, big brother here, I don't want to see any of that mushy stuff." Elliot lifted himself out of the water and shook his head throwing droplets of water onto the two girls. "Now come on let's go get some food, it's lunch time and I can smell dad's cooking from here." Lila perked up and immediately rushed over to her clothes letting out a whoop and hastily putting on her shirt, as she began to pull on her shorts she said, "Hurry up slowpokes I'm starving"
"You're always starving, I'm pretty sure you could spend your whole day eating and never get full you bottomless pit." Elliot commented turning shrugging his shirt on.
"Damn straight I would, your dad knows how to cook a meal." Reagan just rolled her eyes at her girlfriend but started to laugh, "What are you laughing at? And hurry up and put on your clothes… Hmm never thought I'd say put your clothes on I mean-"
"Again, brother, right here, I don't want or need to hear however that sentence was going to end." Lila just stuck her tongue out at Elliot as she slipped on her flip-flops.
Reagan just shook her head and smiled at her brother and girlfriend as they continued to bicker back and forth. She swears they're actually five year olds sometimes, but she wouldn't want them any other way.
Regan stares into Lila's unwavering gaze straightens her back and lifts her chin, "No"
Lila furrows her brow and basically scowls at Reagan, "No?" she says, her controlled voice breaking and giving way to anger and hurt, "You don't get to say no Reagan, you left us, you just up and disappeared without a word. We thought you were kidnapped, or, or killed. But then we find you here alive and unharmed and you think you can just say no and I'll- we'll go away, well fuck you I'm not going anywhere until you agree to come back with me."
They both stares at each other, neither one willing to back down, "Reagan…" they both break their heated gaze and look at Amy who's been so quiet Reagan almost forgot she was there. But there she is staring at Reagan with confused and scared eyes.
"I know Amy, I swear everything is gonna be fine, I'll explain later I-"
"Oh so you haven't told her?" The dangerous smile reappears on Lila's lips as she turns her gaze onto Amy. Reagan tenses and jumps up,
"Don't you dare"
"Aww is Rea-bear afraid the truth is going to drive her new plaything away? You can't hide it from her forever"
"Lila…"
"Careful, you don't want to shift"
"Reagan what is she talking about?" Amy asked
"Well Reagan here is a-"
"Stop, I'll come with you, just stop talking"
A smug smile crosses Lila's face, "Good, then let's go"
"Wait" Reagan says, "How do I know you won't send someone back here to hurt Amy."
Lila rolls her eyes, "Please she's not that important, and I'm the only one who knows where you are right now."
Reagan pulls out her phone, "Well just in case…" She opens up a new text message and types 'come over to amy's asap its wolf related' and hits send.
"Who did you text?" Amy whispers
"Theo and Lauren." Reagan's phone vibrates
'be there in 5'
Putting her phone back in her pocket Reagan turns toward Amy, "I'm sorry forgetting you mixed up this. I know you have a lot of questions and I swear I'll answer them all. But for now I want you to stay really close to Theo."
"Reagan what-"
"No time for questions right now Shrimps," Reagan cracks an uneasy smile and kisses the top of Amy's head, "I'll be back soon"
"Ugh are you two done" Lila grumbles, Reagan hears a car pull up out in front so she decides to hold her tongue and just nods. Grabbing Amy's hand they walk to the front door and pull it open and see a tall dark skinned boy right at the entrance.
"Theo slow down what's the problem?" Walking up behind him is a short girl with blonde hair and furrowed brows.
Instead of answering Theo walks in past Reagan and Amy and straight to Lila. He gives her a calculating once over and crosses his arms. "I didn't sense anyone else in the area." he says over his shoulder. Reagan nods and looks at Lila, "Come on, let's get his over with" Lila walks past Theo with a barely controlled snarl and struts out the door. Reagan just kisses Amy and whispers an "I'll be back I promise" against her lips, then throws Theo a look which he responds to with a nod and then follows Lila out the door her stomach in knotting with every step.
Reagan just wishes she was sure she could make good on that promise.
.
.
.
MC: Hey guys, so it is May 11, 2015 and if you've read this before you know that I've changed up the first chapter, if this is your first time reading it then thanks for joining us. So I originally posted this on February 4th but I didn't really like it, so now I know what I want to do with this story (it was kind of just an awkward one-shot thing before) but I've revamped the first chapter and know what's happening in the next ones. So I hope you guys will enjoy this story.