Authors Note:
This is the first part of a brand new series that I have started. Yes yes I know I should finish the others first but who am I to argue with my torture muse?Special Thanks:
A special thanks goes out to me co-author Rene who listens to me rant and rave about our stories every night and still has yet to go insane. I applaud you Rene.It's funny how things can change so quickly isn't it? I mean one day you're so happy that you could reach the sky if you wanted and the next you're so low that you don't think you'll ever be able to pick yourself back up off the ground but some how you manage to get that little extra that makes you go on until you are knocked down again.
There is no happy ever after in real life and fairy tales are just that tales that someone made up and wrote down to entertain the masses. Ok so I know I sound cynical and cold but when you've been through what I've been through you become that way. Do I want to be that way? No. No one wants to not believe in happy ever after but I just can't. Whenever I get happy or content I start to ask myself when something will happen to bring it all crashing down on my head again.
I wasn't always like this though. I was a really happy kid, believe it or not. I had the world in the palm of my head and a fantastic family to back me up in anything I wanted to do. I would dream of the places I would go and the people I would meet when I got older. I believed in fairy tales and happy ever after more then anyone but then life happened. I was taken away from my family and friends and here's the kicker, I had nothing to do with it either. I didn't ask to be grabbed off the street on my walk home. I didn't ask to be thrown in the back of a black SUV so scared that I couldn't even cry and I certainly didn't ask for the two years of never ending hell I received afterwards. You don't know true hell until a total stranger abuses you at thirteen years old that you can't even see 'cause he won't even take the blindfold off.
Anyway, been there done that escaped that and so not going to dwell in the past. So I bet you're wondering why I didn't just go home to my fantastic do anything for me family after I got away from my psychotic "master" huh? It's not that easy. They had moved on with there lives in the two years I had been "away" and I just didn't want to burden them with a damaged high maintenance abused me. Now I know they probably wouldn't have kicked me to the curb or anything like that but come on, who wants to put up with what they were going to have to put up with? Plus, I had found that I could pave my own way in the world. I'm a very good-looking boy and a good body goes a long way, add experience to that and boom instant money. Yeah I had turned into a whore but big flipping deal. At least the truckers I rode with paid me before they used me and didn't smack me around afterwards.
Don't take me wrong; I don't like being a whore by any means it's just something I have to do. It's my job is all. When I landed in Angel Grove I should have kept going on the trucker circuit but I was curious to see the town that the famous Power Rangers protected. Little did I know that I would be sucked into their world a week after deciding to drop anchor here for a while. For the first time since I had been taken away from my blood family, I had another one. My whoring ways ended...almost. I still needed to eat and pay my rent and live so I kept some clients numbers around. They're nice men and like I said at least they pay me. One in particular...but lets not go into him just yet. That's a whole different story there. Yes, I'm living a double life, which sucks at times, but it's the only way. If my friends knew that I am a Dr. Jekyll during the day and a Mr. Hyde during the night they would be gone faster then I could say what the hell? Yeah I know that's not giving my friends much credit but come one seriously what would you do? I love them all dearly but I know them all well and I know that if there perfect picture of me was shattered they would be gone like all the rest; and I can think of one who would be shattered the most out of all of them. Jason.
Jason is a touchy subject for me. He's my best friend, my brother, my shoulder, and my ever-faithful companion but he wants more and I know he does. I've seen him checking me out more then a few times in the showers at school and after a battle since he's returned as the gold ranger. I've seen his lustful glances cast in my direction but yet I can't return his feelings. I'm used goods and no one wants used stuff. Not to mention, there's the whole double life thing and where as I was able to hide it from Kim, Jason is a different story and he would find out. Sooner or later, he would put it together and dump me like a bad habit. Oh, did I mention before that I have major trust issues with people?
I know what you're asking yourself, how did I get so messed up? Well it's not that complicated really. It all steams back to one man, the man I mentioned above. One man who took me away from everything I knew and loved when I was very young and plunged me into a never-ending hell for two years. I still don't like to talk about the time I spent with him if I can help it. Too many bad memories and nightmares that I can't escape even here. Even in this very peaceful town where I am a power ranger I can't escape him. He's all around me twenty-four hours a day seven days a week and I keep looking over my shoulder when I walk down the street expecting him to be there. Paranoia is also one of my more annoying traits these days too.
My friends have no idea how I am like just under the surface. Kat bless her sees me as a great innocent guy who would never hurt a fly under any circumstances. She always sees the good in people and with me she sees the fake good that I feign for her. How I became leader of the power rangers is beyond me. If Zordon knew what I really was he would strip me of my powers so fast my head would start to spin. Adam is so sweet and nice. He trusts everyone with no questions asked, even me. If he knew, he would never look at me the same way again. Rocky the fun loving goof who always seems to make me laugh no matter how bad or down I am feeling. I wonder if he knew would he still try to make me laugh? Tanya my sweet bundle of yellow, she's always got an opinion about everything and really stands up for what she believes in and whom she believes in. I wonder though if she knew would she stand up for me? Jase my bro. My shoulder. I love you so and I wonder if you knew would you still love me? My team. My power team that I lead in and out of battles, they rely on me not to get them killed and I have to say sometimes I wish they wouldn't.
Watching them now from my perch at our usual table laughing as they study and much on chips that Lt. Stone had brought over earlier free of charge a small smile curves my lips. No, they'll never know what I truly am and where I come from. They'll never figure out that I am not who I say am and they will never know the horrors I've seen and have had inflicted on me. They'll never know that there great strong leader is a lying manipulative slut. Never.