AN: I found my inspiration again. YAYz! I hope I'll be posting more now and finish my unfinished stories *cough*
This is a sequel to "Guilt", it's not necessary to read it. I think. Read it anyway! (^_^;)
By the way, IMO this sucks, but since I haven't written anything in a while , and it's only a drabble, I felt like posting it nonetheless.
DC: Doumeki is mine! Really! He is currently sitting across the room, snogging Watanuki, who doesn't seem pleased and gestures me to help him. Where is my camera? *search*
Sleep
It is morning. He has been awake for quite some time now, trying to hold on to sleep, not willing to reach consciousness. He knows when he opens his eyes the memories return. He doesn't want them to. He can't bear it. Being awake is torture. He can't sleep either. The thoughts, the pain, they keep him awake. He mustn't think. He wants to flee into sleep.
Tranquilizers, nerve tea, some sake, only then he can sleep, breaks down from exhaustion, stone-dead. Sleeping, dreaming let him forget. Sleep is escape.
He wakes up, much too soon. Awareness gains on him. Every time. He is lacking sleep, sleeps just enough to gather strength to survive. He gets up, hours before he should. He has to distract himself, lying awake in bed leads to thoughts. Thoughts cause pain. His heart is clenching, cramping. He can feel it. He'd never imagined that one really suffers physically, thought it metaphorical. His stomach is tingling, vibrations of agitation. Food causes even more nausea, makes him remember what he is desperately trying to forget.
He is still scared of the eternal sleep. He thinks he's a coward and hopes that maybe he simply won't wake up anymore. He wouldn't have wanted that, he reminds himself. It doesn't make sense to him. He has no more reason to struggle with life. Everything seems pointless. He knows this feeling. He feels like he used to before they met. Only, today it hurts. He had found sense in life and had tried everything to make his wish come true. And now? His wish wasn't worth anything. Not anymore. Crushed in the blink of an eye. He doesn't know how to keep going on with his life. He just wants to sleep. He feels so tired.