Seeing the Light
A/N:
WARNING! SWEARING AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWBN RISK!
Well, here's the first continuation I promised!
This will be a one-shot, just like its predecessor, though this one will be longer. That said, I suggest reading the first one-shot, Shadow, so you know what's going on.
Also, for explanations as to why Roxas lived alone, I'll tell you that Sora and Roxas's parents lived in Roxas's apartment, but something happened, and they had to move out. Sora went and got a new apartment, but Roxas stayed there because of its sentimental value.
Well, that's about it! See ya at the bottom!
When I awoke, I found several of my friends in a hospital room, all staring at me.
I made eye contact with all of them, before I looked back down.
I'm… alive?
I thought about putting on one of those fake smiles I became so good at making over the years of depression I had suffered, but then I remembered that Namine had most likely read the letter, and that she probably told everyone else.
No good… they would probably recognize it.
"So I'm alive…" I whispered.
"Damn straight, you're alive!" Riku shouted. "What the hell were you thinking?!"
All of the sudden, I felt rage boil through me. "You don't know what it's like!"
Silence reigned throughout the room.
I immediately felt regretful, and so I said, "I'm sorry… that was uncalled for…"
"Ch-!"
With that, Riku walked out of the hospital room, seething.
I was transported back to my apartment via Axel's car the next day, after I was released from the hospital.
For the next several days, people would come to my home and visit me quite often, with Axel, Xion and my brother being the most prominent. Of course, Namine was with me at all times, as if she thought I would get up and walk away with my broken legs the moment she turned away.
The entire time, I had been masking my depression, trying to make it seem like I was all better… but of course, I wasn't.
Normally, having the girl I loved take care of me constantly and perpetually be there for me would be heaven, but after all that happened… it felt more like hell.
She already knows that I love her, seeing as she read the letter, so why? Why does she insist on giving me false hope like this when she's already going out with someone else? Does she even know how much pain she's causing me by doing this?
A tear slid down my left cheek.
Namine, who had apparently been watching me, rushed over and frantically asked, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
I put on one of the fake smiles I'm so good at making, then said, "Don't worry, I'm fine."
"If you were fine, you wouldn't have started to cry!" Namine argued.
Just like when I first woke up, I found rage boiling up from within. This time, however, I kept myself under control, saying, "You read the letter, right?"
"Y-yeah…" she said, her face tinged pink.
"Then you should know why."
"I don't really understand… sorry…"
All of the sudden, I couldn't control it any longer. I began to release the pent up anger that I had been feeling towards Namine for years.
"Because you keep giving me false hope!" I shouted. "You're being so damn kind, even though you're going out with Sora! I can't take it! My heart can't take it!
"This is one of the reasons why I tried to commit suicide in the first place!" I yelled, getting louder by the second. "You have no idea! The pain I felt because of you was unbearable!
"But even after all that, when everything is said and done… I still love you…" I said, voice growing quiet and shaky. "And that's… what I hate the most…"
Finally, my tears began to fall freely. "So please… just leave me alone for a while…"
"Roxas…"
Namine
"Roxas…" I said softly, my heart breaking in two for him.
I tried to reach out and hug him, but he backed away into the corner. He gave me a glare.
"Get out of my apartment…"
"But—"
"Get out!"
"Okay… I'm sorry…"
With that, I gathered my things and left, my heart shattering more and more with each step.
A few hours later, I was sitting at a table with Axel and Xion in a cafe, explaining what happened.
"So that's what happened," Axel said.
"You bitch!" Xion shouted, gaining the attention of almost everyone in the café. "You were toying with his heart!"
"Calm down, Xion," Axel said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Insulting her won't fix the mistake she made.
"I'm sorry, Xion… I didn't even know…" I whispered. "You know… I was really only going out with Sora to make Roxas jealous… I didn't mean to hurt him so much. I didn't think he would take it that way…"
Xion growled, giving me the most frightening glare I had ever seen. "How can you even call yourself his friend…? I can't believe he even lets you be around him, let alone that he loves you."
"Xion!" Axel shouted. "That's enough out of you! I'm mad at her, too, but it won't help anything to insult her!"
"Even you, Axel…?" I said, tearing up.
"Hell yeah!" he shouted, losing his cool for the first time since I met him. "He's my best friend! Not only that, but you were playing around with the hearts of three different people! Did you really think I wouldn't be pissed?!"
"I-I should go…" I whispered, getting up.
With that, I left the café with a heavy heart.
Roxas
Several days passed, and I didn't see Namine even once. I knew that she still came by while I slept, since I would always find food by my bedside when I woke up, despite never cooking it the night before.
I had recovered enough to be able to move around the house without getting a headache, though I still had to use my wheelchair, what with my legs being broken.
Every once in a while, one of my friends would visit, which made me a little happy. Still, the one I most wanted to see never came… bat least, not while I was awake.
I felt deep regret for yelling at Namine, and I wanted to apologize more than anything. The only thing was… that I meant every word of it, and I still felt that way, even after what happened.
As I laid there in my bed, I began to think about what to say if she actually came.
If she came over, I don't think I'd be ready yet… I wouldn't know what to say…
All of the sudden, I heard a knock on the front door.
"Coming!" I shouted, easing myself into my wheelchair.
I wheeled myself out of my room, going over to the doorway. I positioned my wheelchair just to the right of the door so that it wouldn't bump into my wheelchair when I opened it. When I opened the door…
Namine
When Roxas opened the door, I was left momentarily speechless. It was evident that he hadn't been washing himself, and his hair was even more unkempt than usual. I resisted the urge to ask him why he hadn't been taking care of himself.
"What do you want," Roxas asked me with a tired expression.
It took me a few seconds to find the courage to speak. "We need to talk, Roxas."
"What about?"
"Please let me in first, then we'll talk," I said, shivering despite my coat. "It's really cold outside."
"Right," he said. He wheeled his wheelchair back, allowing me to open the door wider and come in.
I stood in the front room awkwardly.
"Why aren't you sitting down?" Roxas asked me. "Or do you have a date with Sora after this?"
I looked at him, surprised at the edge in his voice.
I sat down on his couch, and he wheeled himself over so that he was facing me.
"No, I don't," I said. "I broke up with him."
Roxas just stared at me, his eyes wide. Then, I could see him trying to piece together why, and his eyes narrowed.
"You did that out of pity for me, right?" he asked me, the edge in his voice almost scaring me. "Well, I don't want your pity! Get out of my damn house!"
"What?!" I exclaimed. "I didn't do it out of pity! Just hear me out… and then, if you want me to, I'll leave."
I could see him clenching his fists, his knuckles turning white. "Go on."
"All right… you're going to be really mad at me for this, but the reason I started going out with Sora… was because I wanted to make you jealous. I didn't know you would take it the as hard as you did, and I'm sorry for that."
"So you were playing around with my brother's heart like it was nothing but a toy, huh…?" Roxas asked rhetorically. "You're the worst."
I could feel my heart breaking in two at his words, but I still pressed on. "No, he knew the whole time. I told him beforehand, and he still agreed. He said that he likes Kairi anyway, so it would be a good way to make her fall for him."
"Then you're both idiots," he said. "All that did was hurt us. She had loved him for years. Actually, I had promised her a long time ago that I would help them get together. As a matter of fact, I did that right before you and Sora pulled that mean stunt. I'm surprised that she didn't do what I tried to do. I guess she's just a stronger person than I am."
I looked down, now knowing the full extent of my mistake. "I had no idea…"
"Well, now you know how many people you and my brother hurt in your little charade."
"Look, I know you must hate me now, but—"
"I could never hate you," Roxas told me with a sigh. "Because no matter what you do, I'm cursed to love you anyway.
"Then…"
"Then what?"
"Please go out with me! I really do love you—"
"I'm sorry, but I can't… I just can't trust you," Roxas said softly, giving me a sad smile. "Not after learning about what you did."
He wheeled himself away from me, going into his room. Then, the dam broke.
Tears started to fall from my eyes, and I could feel my heart shattering into a million pieces.
A/N:
Depressing, huh? Well, I never said this would have a happy ending! :P
Still, you may have noticed that this story isn't marked complete. That's because I'm making it into a two-shot! After all, Roxas hasn't seen the light yet, has he?
Also, I probably won't be able to update for a while, since there's an error message that pops up whenever I go into my manage stories tab of my account page. Rest assured, however, that I will finish this story! But first, I have to work on Two Become One and Names! Then I can start the other continuation to Shadow, which I can guarantee won't be as gloomy or curse word-ridden as this one. After that, hopefully I'll be able to update/edit stories again! Then I can start working on chapter two of this story again!
Anyway, I gotta go, so here's a disclaimer for ya!
I don't own the Kingdom Hearts franchise or anyone/anything I use from it!
See ya!