I've been trying to tell you something since the first time I ever saw you. I realized it as soon as I saw you in the sunshine, your hair as pink and beautiful as the twilight sky. Your smile made me forget to breath, it left me lightheaded and confused. Your smile could make peace on earth, that's what I thought. And your eyes, I was convinced, could see past any façade. You had the ability to see people for who they were. That's an amazing ability and I hope you've realized that.
Maybe you don't know it, but when you stood there on the playground, you looked so proud over yourself. I know you've had some issues with yourself but right there, at that moment, you didn't seem to care. I want you to always look that confident, it suits you so much better. Your back was straight, your shoulders small but steady and you stood like your feet were rooted to the ground, like a tree. You seemed to overflow with wisdom. You are so smart, and I could see that side of you before I even knew you, just by looking. You fascinated me. I wanted to be with you.
I've been trying to tell you ever since. The way you make me feel, the way my heart refuses to stay in my chest but has to jump around inside my body, like a rabbit. The way my mind goes completely blank, it's like you blow every sane thought out of my head and I start acting like a jerk instead. The way your eyes makes me hope that someday, you'll see me the way that I saw you that day on the playground. I want you to want to be with me, and give me a chance. I could give you so much.
So how come you drool after him instead when he's only being mean to you? It breaks my heart. We are a team now, we get to see each other everyday, talk to each other everyday. When I first found out I was so happy you couldn't possibly understand. I saw this as my chance to show you the real me. I'm still waiting for that chance though...
Why won't you let me show you the real me? Why do you only look at him instead?
But, of course, I can never say any of this to you. You would just get mad and hit me. You wouldn't listen. You would never see, with those eyes, that I was telling you the truth, that I do love you. I want to be with you. But I guess I've ruined it.
Even so…
I want you to know that I'll never let you go. I'll always watch over you. So maybe, someday, you'll see me. You'll plant your feet to the ground, stand up straight with that beautiful smile on your face and look at me, because what you see makes you smile.
I make you smile.