Chapter One: And Then It Hit Me

The windows looked like a dull mosaic of greys and greens as the rain came down in torrents around the police cruiser. Bella Swan could barely make out the never ending wall of trees through the glass. The only break in the monotonous scenery was a splash of color here and there that marked the location of a local pizzeria or post office. She sighed. Forks hadn't changed one bit.

"That's the high school," her father, Charlie, mumbled. They were the first words he'd spoken since the airport. Not that Bella minded. She had plenty on her mind to fill the entire ride without ever speaking a word.

She squinted to try and see through the downpour. The school passed by quickly as the cruiser drove past it. It was small and dull, same as the rest of the town. She tried to fight the twist in her stomach, digging her nails into her palm. She had promised herself not to break down in front of Charlie. It wouldn't make her feel better, and he would only feel uncomfortable.

Bella held her breath until the feeling passed and spent the rest of the drive staring at the dashboard. Charlie didn't say another word.

The house was smaller than her old one. Her room was upstairs, two doors down from Charlie's. Strategic, she assumed. Having a sheriff as a father was usually less than desirable. She wouldn't put it past him to have her windows barred and phone tapped. Not that it would interfere with anything. Her social life had never been the blooming, exciting world portrayed on TV.

"Your room's the same as always," Charlie grunted. He set the remainder of her possessions on the wooden floor, examining the fray piece of duck tape anxiously. Bella tried to give him a reassuring smile, but she knew the tips of her mouth barely moved.

"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate everything." And she meant it. She knew this was weird for him, and he was doing everything he could to make it as easy as possible. Well, as easy as it could be.

Charlie nodded, sadness reflecting in his eyes. "I know, Bells." He patted the box almost reassuringly, like he wanted to give her a hug, but knew that it wouldn't do any good. "Well, I'll leave you alone. If you need anything, just let me know." And with that, he left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Bella stood there for a moment, looking around the room. It was fairly plain. She only stayed here for a week or so every few months, and she had kept most of her stuff in her old room. Now everything was packed up in the four boxes sitting on her bedroom floor. She began to feel overwhelmed again, her breaths coming out in shaky jerks. She tried to hold back the onslaught of emotion, carefully unzipping her suitcase and flipping the top off.

What her eyes first set on sent her immediately into quiet, controlled sobs. A face looked back up at her with bright eyes and a wide, loving smile. The frame was made of sand and shells from a trip to Mexico a couple of years ago. Next to the picture was a zip lock bag of orange bottles filled with various medications. Pills for anxiety, depression, insomnia, night terrors, and about ten other mind-numbing diagnosis.

Bella grabbed the bag and threw it against the closet door with a shriek, tears pouring down her face. She tenderly removed the picture frame from the luggage, not allowing her trembling hands to jeoperdize its safety. She allowed her body to collapse onto the unfamiliar bed in exhaustion, gripping the last saved image of her dead mother as she cried herself through the sleepless night.

"Miss Swan... Miss Swan?"

Bella jerked out of her daze to see the school secretary staring at her curiously. The plump woman had been going over the papers that Charlie needed to sign and been about to give Bella her schedule when she realized that the brown eyes were not focused on anything.

"Are you okay, Isabella?" she asked kindly, eyes frowning. "I know things have been hard..."

"I'm fine," Bella snapped, grabbing up the papers and snatching the schedule from the woman's fingers. "And it's Bella." She quickly exited the office and found a water fountain. The cold water on the back of her throat woke up her senses. Her exhaustion now rested safely around the edges of her mind.

First period crawled by uneventfully. The teacher was monotonous and dreary, crooning on about the Civil War with the enthusiasm of a funeral director. Bella ignored the stares of the other students, trying not to think about how they were already assessing her and making their judgments. No one actually said anything to her, and she was okay with that. Her goal for the day was to make it until three o' clock without causing any kind of scene. There had been enough of that at her old school.

The seconds ticked by dauntingly. She spent part of her second period calculating the number of seconds it would be until the end of the day while the teacher handed out study guides for a vocabulary test. She was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that the teacher had called on her to answer a question.

"Miss Swan?" The teacher's voice finally broke through Bella's concentration. Her head snapped up, focusing on his disapproving face. The class giggled quietly at the spectacle, making Bella's face heat up. She hated being the center of attention. "Did your old high school already cover this section?"

"N-no," she stuttered in response, feeling her hands start to tremble as twenty or so pairs of eyes stared at her. It reminded her of that day.

"Have you done your own individual research on this section that would give me reason to believe that you do not need my assistance in learning the material?" His tone was almost sniding, miffed that a student dare disrespect his authority.

Bella could feel her pulse quickening. She tried to breathe deeply as everyone's eyes borred into her like an exhibit at a museum. Curiousity and questioning. Did her mother really die? Is she depressed? Why is she sweating so badly? Is she a total freak now?

"Miss Swan!" The teacher was marching towards her angrily, furious with her noncompliance. Bella's world was spinning, and all she could think was that she had to get out of the classroom. Now.

She jerked out of her seat, knocking it onto the floor. She didn't even see the incredulous look on her teacher's face before she darted out of the room, leaving all of her possessions sprawled on the floor. She stumbled through the hall, trying to fight a bathroom so she could ride out the remainder of her panic attack alone. Normally, she would take a pill when this happened, but the bottle was still in the smallest pocket of her backpack.

Unfortunately, she was unfamiliar with this school and had no idea where a bathroom could be. Her lungs felt like they could barely pull in air. The corners of her vision were getting blurry. She rounded a corner in a hurry and slammed into a brick wall, knocking what little air she had left out of her lungs. She fell to the floor, no strength left to pull herself back up. The exhaustion from no sleep coupled with the onset of one of her many panic attacks felt like a massive hand on her chest, holding her against the cold tile.

Right as she was about to slip into unconsciousness, two hard arms slipped underneath her body and hoisted her into the air. She didn't know where they had come from, or where they were taking her. All she could think about was that she wished her mother was there to hold her hand.