Disclaimer: I do not own Planes, but I have experience loss of separation in aircraft of three separate occasions. If possible I would like to keep all future near miss experiences completely fictional. Oh, and I did the math, and Cabbie really can't do a barrel roll. It would tear his wings off. So if you own one of the 4 C-119's still flying please do not attempt the maneuvers used in this story as I took a whole lot of creative liberty. As always this story has been betaed by theolaterose99.

Cabbie Vs Fighter Jet

Most of the time Chief Blade Ranger made the best of the situation he had been handed. Then there were days when he realized just how badly Cad Spinner had royally screwed them over by slashing their budget. Today, Blade was dealing with the latter. If they would have still had the funds to keep a lead plane, birddog, or spotter on the team a today's crisis would have been avoided. Instead, they had been literally feet away from losing the entire smokejumping team and their transport, and everyone who had witnessed the incident was still trying to come off the adrenal high.

The run had started normally enough. It was a small fire caused by sparks from truck who had accidently dragged a chain. It had been quickly reported and the air attack team had arrived on site when the fire was still less than three acres. Blade had immediately worked with Windlifter and Dipper to box the fire in with retardant. The three tankers were preparing to turn back to base to reload and give Cabbie a little bit more space to drop the jumpers in narrow canyon, when everything hit the fan.

"There is a meadow to the on the east side of the road that looks like it is…Oh, Slag!"

Blade looked up in time to see Cabbie pull at least a 60 degree bank to avoid a military jet that was streaking up the canyon a low elevation and high rate of speed. Even with the invasive action it looked like the cargo plane wasn't going to be able to get out of the way of the of the other aircraft in time, but then Cabbie dived downward in a high-G barrel roll that would have shredded the control surfaces of a lesser cargo plane. From the Attack Chief's angle of view he could swear that C119 scrapped his canopy on the tree tops on the low point of the maneuver, but the old plane's engines screamed at full power and he was able to shakily gain altitude.

Before anyone one else could talk Cabbie tried to radio base. "Patch make sure the entire runway is clear. I am coming in hot and heavy."

"Cabbie do you need to divert to the Lodge?" Blade asked with icy seriousness coming along side eyeing the plane for possible damage.

"Once we get back on the tarmac, we are going to be staying there for a while." Cabbie was doing a remarkable job of keeping his voice steady, but it was clear that the old warplane was pretty shaken up. "If I am going to be grounded I would much rather be able to sulk in my own hanger instead of being forced to sit on the apron of the Lodge runway until I am cleared to fly again."

"Do you need Windlifter to follow you?"

"No we are…" Cabbie started before getting interrupted by the scream of a second fighter jet flying between the cargo plane and the ground. It took a few long moments for the C119 to stabilize himself again in the sky, then with strained precision Cabbie spoke. "By the Peugeot, get the tail numbers on those two planes, cause I need to have a conversation with their CO."

According to the Transportation Safety Management Team (TSMT) regulations any commercial passenger or cargo aircraft was required to be able to pull into a 50 degree bank while fully loaded. Cabbie was required to prove that he was up to this challenge every spring during his preseason check ride. What the cargo plane realized when he had to pull the maneuver in real life, was a set of inanimate weights strapped securely in his cargo hull behaved completely different from a set of five, very lively smokejumpers.

Cabbie had just managed to slam his aft door shut when he spotted the F-16 coming straight for him in his peripheral vision. Then training took over. Part of him heard all five of the little ground pounders squawk unhappily when suddenly swung hard to starboard and cries of panic when he had pulled into a dive. The other part of him was trying to keep from graying out has he pulled just shy of 4 Gs.

For a few long moments Cabbie couldn't help but wonder if he had exchanged a fiery death in the air for a fiery death nose diving into the ground, but the weight of his jumpers played in his favor. Their momentum gave him just enough energy to pop out of the bottom of the barrel role. He had been close enough to the ground to damage his port fin and clip both radio wires, but they were going to live and that is what really mattered.

As the C119 began to claw his way back up to a safe altitude, he felt the first sloshing feeling and he had to bite his tongue to keep from swearing. No wonder his passengers had gotten so quiet back there. There was more sloshing and Cabbie had begun the job of convincing everyone that he was perfectly capable of making it back to base. The sloshing sensation only increased when he jerked violently when the second plane passed directly beneath him and the warbird had a sinking feeling what Maru was going to find when he finally popped the hatch.

By the time Cabbie's tires hit the tarmac, the C119 had to consciously prevent his landing gear from buckling under him on impact. Ignoring the normal traffic patterns, Cabbie made a beeline straight to the Maintenance Hanger, backed his tail up the building and popped his back door right at Maru's wheels.

"Chrysler!" Maru choked out. "Next time some warning would be nice." It took a few moments for Cabbie to smell the thing that needed warning. The stench of five regurgitated breakfasts that were now painted across the skin of all five smokejumpers, as well as, Cabbies internal bulkheads was thick. Cabbie's already unsettled tanks rolled uncomfortably.

"Maru…" Cabbie whispered trying to breathe through the nausea.

"Okay, anyone leaking or have'n drive train issues?" The smokejumpers all made little sounds of discomfort. In Pinecone's case, the poor thing, it was a set of whimpers between the dry heaves. "I will take that as a no then. Let's get you kids out of there."

It took a good 15 minutes to slide everyone out of the mess. As they came out Maru gave them a quick look over. Dynamite and Drip appeared to have taken the bulk of the physical damage and were told to go sit out on the tarmac for a moment. Avalanche, Blackout, and Pinecone were considered to be intact enough to go hit the power washer before Maru started to inspect their dings.

"Maru…" Cabbie tried again, but the mechanic was too busy grabbing a hose to hear.

The cold water seemed to help knock the senses back into Drip and Dynamite, though Cabbie suspected that the later probably had a concussion. Her eyes were just a little bit too unfocused and her responses were sluggish. Drip on the other hand was bouncing back nicely. By the time he was clean he was already bouncing on his treads and asking when Cabbie was going to take them on a barrel roll. Maru gave him a good spray where Pinecone had gouged his fender for good measure ushering both ground pounders into the hanger.

"Maru..." Cabbie said with a greater level of urgency tried to take deep breaths through his teeth.

"What?" The Maru finally rolled around to find out what the C-119 needed, but a bit too late. It really wasn't polite to projectile vomit all over your mechanic, but at this point Cabbie too nauseous to care.

Blade knew that he was about to be catapulted into paperwork hell the moment that Patch had transferred all of her dispatch duties to the lodge tower. The Attacks Chief's stress level continued to increase when Cabbie failed to respond when Blade ping his private channel. After a few long minutes of not having any bloody clue what was going on and whether or not it was wise to have the tankers head back to base take on another load of retardant, Blade paged Maru.

The mechanic responded after what felt like a painfully long time. "You better be calling to tell me that one of you have won the lottery and you are about to higher me a full staff, because if you are calling me to tell me that one of you bozos have injured yourself my tines are full!"

"I am just checking up on the team."

"We are…" Maru, then clearly got distracted by the mess that was rapidly developing around him. "Come on Cabbie, don't do this to me! Patch you were suppose to keep an eye on him and Dynamite keep your eyes open. I know your head hurts sweetheart, but I can't give you anything until we determine just how bad your concussion is." As quickly as Maru got sidetracked he was back. "Sorry, Chief, where were we."

"I was just checking in on the team and trying to figure out it was okay for Windylifter, Dipper, and I to head back to base to tank up on more retardant."

"You guys are going to be pulling off the lake for the next bit." The mechanic was clearly frustrated by his current situation. "Drip, I needed the medication box a good 10 minutes ago!"

"And how are the team?" Blade was starting to get a bit worried about Maru wasn't saying. The fact he had pulled Patch in the middle of an active fire situation meant the mechanic had found himself on the deep end.

"Ask me in 30 minutes. Now I believe you have a fire to put out and I have a transport load of very shaken but not stirred smokejumpers to deal with so if you are done…"

"Understood. I will check in with you later. In the mean time we will pull water off the lake." Blade let his base's mechanic turn his attention to whatever chaos that he was currently fighting, while he turned his to the rest of the Air Attack Team. "Well Muddroppers, as you just heard Maru has is tines busy taking care of the jump team. We are going to have to trust him with that. In the mean time we have a fire to deal with. We don't have a ground team to help us with this one so we are going to have to surround and drowned. Windlifter, Dipper, I want you two pull water off of Anchor Lake and keep dumping until you are sure it is dead. If it starts getting out of hand, radio me immediately."

"Where are you going?" Dipper asked, as she continued swinging through the slow figure eights of her holding pattern.

"I am going to go chase down those two planes, cause we are going to press charges."

Perhaps Patch shouldn't have been giggling, but you did have to admit the scene had been ridiculously funny. Especially from the dispatcher's vantage point perched high above the chaos. Maru on the other hand had clearly been less amused by the fact that a 40 ton cargo plane had emptied his tanks across him. To his credit, Maru did motion for her to come down from the tower before he stopped off to the power washer.

The mechanic didn't allow himself much more than a quick spray. In fact he was out of the wash before Patch had successfully transferred her duties to the tower at the lodge. When she finally rolled, up Maru was already tines deep in Dynamites' engine.

"He," Maru motioned towards the C-119 dry heaving on the tarmac without even looking up, "is all yours. Drip's going to get the medication box. I would suggest you start with dosing him with one of the antinauseants as soon as the meds are here."

"Roger, that." Patch gave her fellow tug a mock salute and turned her attention to the largest member of the air attack team. Cabbie was, well, he was a mess. He smelled terrible, his cargo area and much of his nose was covered with the combined vomit of six motion sick vehicles, but it was the strange tilt that the plane was holding his wings that really caught Patch's attention. She scanned his body looking for the cause. His landing gear looked good, the damage to one of his tail fins shouldn't have caused the big planes lack of balance, and then she landed on the cause. Cabbie was missing his radio wires.

"You have vertigo don't you?" Patch asked, Cabbie just gave her a glare that screamed 'ya think' while keeping his mouth clamped tightly shut. "Okay, okay, sorry I asked. Let's get you attached back to an antenna so your navigation system knows where you are."

Patch turned back towards the hanger to try to find some wire, only to discover that apparently Cabbie's tanks weren't completely empty.

For the second time that day, Blade was pretty much ready to dump Cad off the nearest cliff.

"I still don't understand why if you insist on reporting this you can't just do it through the anonymous reporting thing?" Cad rolled his eyes at the Air Attack Chief.

"There were injuries." Blade glared in return.

"But not to the guests, and really, if one of your firefighters got a little bit bent out of shape because they got stuck in some turbots, or whatever you call them, then I think it is a question of bad flying on your guys end and there isn't any reason to bring in any officials into this." Cad waved a tire as though the near miss that Cabbie had experience earlier that afternoon was something as minor as a fender bender in a parking lot, instead of one where only the warplane's precision flying had prevented lives from ending in sudden flames.

"The paperwork will be filed, as per the law. And if you are not willing to help track down the tourist that injured and nearly killed my entire smokejumping team, I will do so myself."

Blade could hear Cad try to make another argument, but the helicopter wasn't going to stick around to listen. He had already spun up his router and flew into darkening sky. The chief had been away from the base too long and he was worried about the extent of damage that he was going to find when he finally arrived back to base.

Coming up the final valley, he found the base to be frighteningly still. The only movement came from Dipper who was using a hose to try to clean up a frighteningly large puddle of engine fluids spread across the tarmac and mechanic's hanger. Off to one side of the mess, the air attack base's two tugs were slouched clinging cans of midgrade oil as though they were lifelines. Coming in for a landing the only thing that Blade could do was pray that with that much fluid on the pavement no one had bled out.

"Maru, report!" The Chief barked as his router's spun down.

"The jumpers have been mostly put back together, though I have assigned Windy to keep an eye on Dynamite. She got a nasty concussion that we will be watching for the next 48 hours. Other then the concussion, everything else could be taken care of with some application of pain medication, ginger tea, and a whole lot of solder. I think that the lot of them have all racked out in their hanger." Maru then motioned towards the large, aircraft still parked outside maintenance hanger. "Cabbie, on the other hand is going to be grounded for at least the next week."

"What is wrong?" Blade asked eyeing the out of kilter jump plane, worry tying his hydraulics in knots.

"Nothing that is too difficult to fix but someone…" Maru gave a long suffering look in Patches direction, "got a bit happy with the meds."

"What?" Patch gave a dramatic sweep with her tines. "He had vertigo and you told me told me to give him some antinausea stuff."

"You dosed him with enough medication to ground a Galaxy!"

"It is not my fault that I didn't know what his empty weight off the top of my head. He usually reports in his loaded weight into the tower."

"Clearly this is the last time I am ever going to let you dose anyone." Maru huffed.

Listening to batter between Patch and Maru, finally allowed the little ball of panic in Blade's tank to slowly release. Neither, tug would be engaged in the argument if they were not completely sure that everyone was going to be okay. With the two still bickering, Blade headed to his hanger.

As far as major air emergencies, Blade could live with today's outcome. Yes, Cabbie would be grounded for the next week until the meds were out of his system. Yes, the ground team looked like had just taken a ride in a rock tumbler and would be taking the long way to work for the next few weeks. But being okay with the outcome of the near miss still didn't mean that the Chief was looking forward to the paperwork.

Author's Note: I hope that you enjoyed the first short in the Near Miss series. Stay tuned for more stories involving the flying members of the Air Attack team running into loss of separation (basically almost crashing into things). As always your feedback and suggestions very much appreciated. :)