Hullo and welcome to my newest fic! Yay! I personally think it's a bit rough at bits, but I'm never 100% happy with anything I write. Anyway, it's the usual deal, please read, and please review, otherwise I may go mad and that'll be all your faults! Enjoy! ~M&M
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. Or the song. Uh oh. I saw that look. Nooo it's not a songfic, don't worry.
However, brownie points to whoever guesses the song by the ending. I'm kind of hoping that not too many people guess it, otherwise it sort of ruins the surprise. Sigh...What are you all still listening to me for? Go on, read the fic!
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rose giggled as the Doctor rushed around the room. "Cake!" he squeaked excitedly. "Lots and lots of it! Lovely!"
According to the Tardis' time line, it was her birthday, and she'd rarely seen her best friend happier. He always made such a big deal of these sorts of occasions; putting as much effort into making her day the best ever. He'd pile her with gifts and stuff her with as much sugar as possible, the smile that he was rewarded with causing him to burst with happiness.
He grinned as his companion ate the slice he'd given her. "So, I thought we'd go to Barcelona next, haven't been there for ages, and then we could visit that chip shop in Surrey. Y'know, the one with the paper plates shaped like-"
"Actually, Doctor," Rose interrupted. "I was wondering if we could pop in on Mum." At the devastated look on his face she quickly added, "It's just, I haven't seen her for a while, and I have lots of washing that needs done, since you broke the washing machine with that pink stuff of yours..." She loved that he put such a big effort into her birthday, and knew that he loved treating her to stuff like this, but...she missed her mum, and out of all days, Rose wanted to see her on her birthday. "We'll go later, yeah?"
A few seconds passed, and then the Doctor smiled. "Yeah." After releasing himself from the hug Rose had tackled him with, he bounded to the console, and began flicking levers, pushing buttons, spinning dials and giving it the occasional kick, all the while humming happy birthday to himself.
His human companion rolled her eyes and ran to her room to collect her dirty clothes, trying to push away the feeling that deep down, she wished he would just treat this like a normal day. She'd always loved birthdays as a child, but since she'd begun traveling with him, they'd become a deep hatred of hers. They were another year gone past, a sign that she was growing older, and one day she'd have to leave him for good.
Rose tried to snap out of her thoughts as she returned, backpack in hand and a fresh grin fixed on her face. The Doctor stood by the doors, his hand ready to take hers. "Okie dokie?" Rose took his hand and began to walk out the door, but stopped when he didn't move. "One more thing." the Time Lord said, reaching deep in his pocket to pull out a small package.
"Doctooor..."
"Just one more, I promise! Then we can go visit your mum and get shouted at and drink tea and watch Coronation Street as much as we want! Please?" Argh, how could she resist those eyes?
"Oh alright," she said with a grin, taking the small present from his outstretched hand and unwrapping it. She gave its contents a confused look. "It's...a cassette."
He grinned, bouncing lightly on his toes. "I," he began, giving her his bow-down-to-me-you-silly-little-ape look, "wrote you a song."
Rose stared at him open mouthed for a few seconds, before bursting into giggles.
"Don't laugh! It's brilliant! Fantastic, even! And I got a whole band to play it and everything!"
"What, are you singing?" Rose managed between giggles.
"Don't be daft. It's not that sort of band."
Rose gave him a smile. "Thanks," she giggled, giving him a Tyler-sized hug, which was quite big. He returned it with a tight squeeze before letting go. "But we're going out the door, I can't listen to it now!"
"You can hear it when we get back!" He nudged her towards the doors. "C'mon miss, your mother awaits!"
She rolled her eyes and grabbed her backpack, slipping the cassette case into the pocket of her blue jumper. Beside her the Doctor was still rambling on.
"1895, I played the tuba, I was brilliant..."
She smiled affectionately, and squeezed his hand once more before letting go and walking out the Tardis doors.
Months later, Rose lay on her bed sobbing into her pillow after a fateful trip to Norway. He was gone for good now, and she'd never see him again. This new life of hers, filled with work and catching the bus and a deep, piercing sadness that filled her heart, this was now her forever.
She had to...no. She couldn't cry forever, he wouldn't want that. She rubbed some of the tears which were still falling off her cheeks and rolled over in bed to look around her room. She missed her room in the Tardis, it had been filled with alien souvenirs, always humming softly as the Tardis drifted through the vortex and so her, but this was just too different. It was overwhelmingly huge, filled with magazines, the newest, most high tech objects on the market, and clothes most girls would die for. It was every girl's dream, but not Rose's. She wanted danger and blue boxes and holding hands with the man she loved, not a sort-of dad who showered her with gifts to make up for the fact that he didn't love her.
Thrown over the back of a chair was the sweater. The one she'd worn on the day she'd lost him. It was all she had left, one of the few things to have come through with her when she passed into this universe. It was what she'd worn the last time she seen him, held his hand and hugged him, when he stood so close behind her as they programmed the ghost shift.
She still hadn't washed it, and never would. Sometimes she'd hold it close to her chest, or slip it over her head, searching desperately for some trace of his scent, but only cried harder when all she could smell was her own perfume.
Rose slipped out of bed and walked to where it hung. It was still in there; the cassette he'd given her the morning of her death, and she still hadn't brought herself to listen to it. She didn't know what the Doctor had written for her, but she didn't think she could bear to listen to some happy little birthday tune while she knew they would never see each other again.
But she needed him now, needed to hear him speak, even if it wasn't with his own voice. She grabbed the cassette from the sweater's pocket, opened the case, and quickly shoved the tape into her CD player. She barely looked at it in case she chickened out. After she pressed play, a few moments of silence passed and then it begun.
Her room was filled the deep, low notes of a bass, which throbbed forebodingly, and Rose stared at her stereo. This couldn't be him; he'd never write something like this. It was just so...dark and melancholy.
The notes throbbed on and on, and the huge speakers Pete had brought her sent them rattling across her chest and into her heart. Rose crossed the room and sat sadly on her bed, the music he'd written for her only sending her deeper into her depression.
"You'll never be able to see her again, your own mother!"
"I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never gonna leave you."
What had she expected? That hearing this would make her feel better? That she'd be able to hear his song and suddenly she could move on with her life? Rose gave an furious moan and fell back on to her bed, but froze when another voice filled her room, joining in with her angry burst. She lay on her bed, and listened, unsure of what she'd just heard.
It was a voice. It sung along; a wordless, slow tune that drifted across the quick, sharp notes of the bass, and Rose felt the two mixed sounds echo through her heart, along with the soft notes from a piano that she hadn't noticed before. It was like light, melodic tears falling in time with her own.
"Am I ever gonna see you again?"
"...You can't."
The notes were building now, moving upwards in pitch, the tempo quickening slightly as an electric guitar filled whatever soundless space was left. The throbbing continued in the background, now taken out of the limelight, and that same voice continued, humming along at the same speed until...it just stopped. It died away, the guitar still echoing in the background, growing softer with each note, and Rose felt her breath hitch in fear.
"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it...Rose Tyler..."
Rose began to sob, as the sound died away. No...please don't go...please don't leave me, Doctor...
Her heart gave a leap as the music suddenly returned, just as dark and upsetting as before, but this time the voice was replaced by strings. It wasn't over; Rose could feel tears of both sadness and bitter joy mingling in her eyes as the low sound of violins and cellos ran through her body like a scale, finally stopping on a high note to fade away until...
Returning...short, quick jabs as the throbbing continued in the back, and Rose gasped as she suddenly understood. This was her. It wasn't the happy or cheerful tune she usually would have paired herself with, because that would have a been a lie, and both she and the Doctor knew it. It was her determination, her strength, her ability to always follow him into the darkness, no matter what the cost. And it was...them. The hurt and the danger that hid behind their relationship, the fact that they wouldn't have...couldn't have truly spent forever together.
"How long are you gonna stay with me?"
"Forever."
But there was something else, Rose realized as that voice joined in once more. There was another meaning, buried deep within the melody; something that screamed out at her as all the sounds and melodies from before joined together. It was a sense of darkness, and beauty, and pride, and...love. And she knew that this time it wasn't her.
This was him. His complete faith and pride in her; the unfinished sentence that he'd always been constantly telling her, and it was right here in this song.
"Run!"
"I'm so glad I met you."
"I could save the world but lose you."
"Just...tell me you're sorry."
"I just wanna tell you that you were, fantastic, absolutely fantastic!"
"Oh I'd love you to come!"
"You can spend the rest of your life with me, but...I can't spend the rest of mine with you."
"Stuff of legends!"
"Rose Tyler; Defender of the Earth!"
The music was building again, escalating upwards, and Rose knew the end was coming soon. She closed her eyes, swaying in time with it as she sobbed, not wanting it to stop.
It had always had to end. From the moment they'd first met in that dark basement under Henrik's, they had been doomed, had never stood a chance. But she'd always hoped...always dreamed that somehow they'd get by, make it work. But it was over...and soon his song would end, and she'd be alone once more.
But thing with tapes, is that you can wind them back, and start them again. Listen to them over and over in a loop. But you couldn't rewind what Rose had been through.
You could never rewind love.
The final notes faded and died, and Rose slowly opened her eyes, blinking past the tears that had stopped with the music.
"Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life."
She couldn't cry. She had to go on. She had to be fantastic. For him. For the Doctor.
Rose lifted herself off the bed and walked back across to the stereo, still wiping tears away from her cheeks. She slipped the cassette out of the CD player and sat down on the same chair she'd hung her sweater on, staring out of the huge window that hung on the wall across from her.
It was beautiful outside.
Rose ran her fingers absent-mindedly over the tape in her palm and, for the first time since she'd gotten home, she allowed herself to smile. And when that wasn't enough, she gave a soft, laugh and looked down to grin at the cassette. And then gasped.
Scrawled across the tape in his handwriting was the song's name; messy and slanted slightly to the side, as if he'd been in a hurry when he'd written it. Rose rubbed her hands over the scribble, wishing she could feel him through it, and stared at what he'd written. She didn't know whether to break down again, or laugh at the irony, because the title just fit everything so well. The song, their relationship, everything.
And then it hit her. The song's title, the way he'd given it to her at the last minute, the look of sadness when she'd told him that she wanted to go home, it all added up. She clasped a hand over her mouth and gasped. He'd known. When they'd left the Tardis the morning of her birthday he'd known it would be their last adventure. She didn't know how, but he'd sensed something coming that night at the Olympics, so she could only assume he'd sensed it was the end. He'd seen it coming...
But he'd seemed so happy. Rose stared sadly at the cassette in her hand; just a stupid chunk of plastic, but his promise that she'd survive this. It was his guarantee that even though her heart was breaking, she'd always remember him, always remember their adventures, and would always know what he'd wanted to tell her in Norway.
"Rose Tyler...I love you."
"Love you too." she whispered back, wiping on last tear from her eye. In the back of her head was a slow throbbing, which burnt through her heart like fire. She stared out the window at Pete Tyler's property and let her song seep out of her lips, and became the voice from the tape as she closed her eyes and hummed the Doctor's song.
Far across reality civilizations were torn down, people were killed, songs were sung, and a Time Lord's hearts broke.
But right here, right now, all that mattered was a young woman, who had seen so much for her age, sitting in a chair in her room, eyes closed as she swayed softly. As she hummed the composition that he'd left her, finger's rubbing small circles over the black pen that marked the song's name...
Doomsday.
I bet you can guess what song I was listening to when I wrote this. :)
That's right! Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy! How'd you know?
Really hope you enjoyed! If you did, (or if you didn't, 'cause I'd like to know where I went wrong) please leave a review! Thanks!