"For generations you slept, no purpose, no call to wake you…"
"…the Grineer are spreading, they hunt for the one thing that could destroy them."
"YOU."
The cryopod chamber, old and decayed, but still golden and glistening. There stood the cryopod, suspended in mid-air, inside lies our particular Tenno. In the cold, golden Orokin age, his enemies knew him as a bringer of destruction, and to his friends, they respectfully referred to him as…Bob. Bob the Tenno, after decades of cryostatis sleep, was slowly regaining his consciousness.
"Cold…damp…dusty…I'm so getting a refund from that cryopod store.", Bob thought as he wyrmed inside the pod.
Suddenly, his neuroptics' transmission receiver sprung to life, and with it a familiar voice.
"Wake up, Tenno.", it was a woman's voice.
"I am the Lotus. I will guide you, but we must hurry. Vor is coming for you. I see the cryosleep has taken your memory. It does not matter. You are Tenno. I will prepare you."
"…five more minutes.", Bob dismissed the voice in his head.
"I, WILL, PREPARE, YOU."
Bob's eyes immediately shot open. The voice, soothing and calming, somehow just sounded more menacing than a Juggernaut's howl.
But before another thought can cross his head, Bob's cryopod suddenly bursted open.
Bob landed on the ground with a loud THUNK.
"HEY, WHAT GIV-"
In front of Bob is a Grineer battalion, with every gun aimed at his head, among other vital places.
"Hahaha…this is so embarrassing. Wait…were you guys watching me sleep? Creeeeepy!"
Ignoring Bob's remark, one of the Grineer approached him. This one looked different from the rest, presumably their commander. Bob tried to move, only to find that his Warframe is dried of energy, he could only lie there helplessly in a weird twisted pose. The Grineer took out a strange device.
"Hey, hey! No touchy! We haven't even got to first base! Are yo- OWIE!", the device was already firmly planted into Bob's left leg before he can finish his sentence.
"You're my prize now, Tenno.", said the Grineer commander.
"Oh great. Five minutes out of bed and I'm already somebody's sex slave, good job me. Worst, day, ever."
As the Grineer walked away, the voice, Lotus' voice, spoke again.
"What has he done to you? I can't lose another Tenno. I am surging your Warframe's power systems."
And just like that, a huge jolt of energy surged through Bob's Warframe, the Excalibur, sort of like that time Bob drank 6 cans of energy drink at once. He briefly wondered if his Warframe has a hidden compartment containing Red Bulls.
"Mwuahaha! Lights out, losers! Prepare to eat my EXALTED BLADE!"
Bob clasped his hands together, and began to unsheathe a blade of pure light out of nowhere while laughing maniacally. But just as Bob about to completely form the blade…it vanished out of his hand, just like that, "poof".
"Hahaha…w-wait what? How come I can't use Exalted Blade? N-no…don't tell me…"
Bob nervously glanced at the upper right corner of his HUD, his fears confirmed.
SHIELD: 100 HEALTH: 100 – UNRANKED EXCALIBUR
"UNRANKED EXCALIBUR? What the hell man? I had five formas in this thing! Is this the effect of sleeping in that cheap ass cryopod? Ok..ok, calm down, deep breaths, dee- I HAD FIVE FORMAS IN THIS THING!"
Bob, in pure rage then, proceeded to behead the Grineer battalion with Slash Dash, grabbed some weapons on his way out, beheaded four dozens more Grineer (and t-bagged some of the more unfortunate ones), then stowed away on a stolen Liset.