This was originally going to be a response to my own prompt of "StarTrek '09/HP story with a Harry/McCoy pairing," but it sort of went a bit off track. Oops. So this is a shortish story introducing the wonderful magical world of Harry Potter to the glorious electrical world of Star Trek. Wa-hey. There's no real slashiness (other than Jim and Spock both daydreaming about each other and Harry hitting on Leonard) but I'm likely to do a follow-up story at some point which will involve man-on-man loving.

This story is set about a year after the events of Star Trek '09 and the HP side of things is pretty vague, but I'm thinking it's pretty much canon until the end of the sixth book. Please note that the chapters of this story are more conjoined oneshots than a proper story, so they're not in chronological order. Either five or six chapters in total. No beta, so forgive all mistakes.

Enjoy!

Chapter Word Count: 1199

Jim's horny, Spock's irritated, Nyota's on edge, Scotty fancies another sandwich, Leonard's amused and Harry's loving every minute of it. Pastry-induced madness. Implied JKS HPLM NUMS

1. Jim

Jim had never really paid much attention to food before. Pike had once told him that his mother was a stunningly good cook, but since she'd never been around he'd never had a chance to prove or disprove that statement. Frank had, mostly, been too drunk to do anything other than open beer cans and packets of peanuts. And even then it always seemed like more ended up in his clothing or on the floor than in his mouth. Sam had tried, during his bouts of "let's pretend it's just the two of us," but he'd just been a kid with only a vague idea of what he was supposed to do.

Then there had been Tarsus, where there hadn't been any food to pay attention to. But Jim tried not to think too hard about that.

After that, food was inconsequential. Jim forgot, a lot of the time, and had only started having regular meals again when Bones had become his friend and, later, best friend. He could never tell when he was hungry anymore, was the main problem. He was very good at telling when was too much though. Jim was well aware that, without Bones' strict diet and his sharp eye for Jim's calorific intake versus athletic activity he'd probably look like a walking skeleton.

Which was why it came as a great shock when, just over a year into their first five year mission, Jim found himself lounging on the Captain's chair with nothing to do while they carted a diplomat from one planet to another, suddenly craving a cinnamon whirl.

The first thought that had sprung into his head was "oh my god, I'm pregnant and having cravings" before this was immediately banished by pure disgust at himself. Jim blamed the late night vid-call from Sam moaning about Aurelan's pregnancy and the irrational demands being put upon his person. Male pregnancy research had been banned in the early 22nd century after a massive underground network had been discovered involving hundreds of unwilling 'volunteers'. Not to mention that Jim, much as he'd like to say he had a fulfilling sex life, was going through a dry spell.

After spending some moment musing on the curious routes his thoughts chose to take, he was reminded by his stomach of what had originally started him on the path to begin with. Cinnamon Whirls. With light, buttery pastry curling in on itself and hugging sweet cinnamon and plump raisins tightly in it's bid to reach the centre. Over it all a thin honey glaze and a light dusting of icing sugar. Jim's stomach gave a loud rumble, surprising him from his pastry-induced haze.

That hadn't happened for… well, quite some time. Certainly never so loudly, Jim was sure. Glancing around at the bridge crew he saw that what had startled him quite badly had gone unnoticed by most of them. Only Spock was showing any signs of having observed anything, and probably then only because he'd seen Jim jump and straighten from his normally slouched position.

"Are you feeling well, Captain?" Spock asked, standing smoothly from his chair and hands sliding around his body to clasp behind his back in his customary position.

Jim stared at him considering for a long moment, then back at the main viewer screen where exactly nothing was happening. "How long until preparations need to be made for Ambassador Prote's departure?"

"Approximately 2.8 hours," came Spock's immediate reply.

Nodding to himself, Jim briefly weighed his options. "Then I think I better pay Bones a visit." He thought about this statement for a little longer, sighed at thought of the oncoming storm of probing fingers and questions before standing and reluctantly making his way to the turbo lift.

"Captain?"

"You have the con, Mr Spock," Jim ordered, refusing to acknowledge the hint of concern in Spock's voice. Definitely not worth thinking about.

From the moment Spock had stepped forward and gone with Jim aboard the Romulan vessel to save Earth Jim had realised that he had an inconvenient and more than a little inappropriate crush on the Vulcan. A year later and what should have been a fanciful notion squished by the well-known fact that said Vulcan was straight as a laser beam was now full blown unrequited love. Thus the dry spell. Still, the advantage of being Kirk, James T. was that outrageous flirting was all part of the package. And, since they'd all accepted him as Captain, the package was what they had to put up with.

Jim was sure that eventually the problem would go away. If not, well, he'd learnt to live with it, had he not?

When he got to down to the Medical bay, Jim's normal flamboyant entrance went entirely unnoticed as Bones was busy attending to someone. Bones had his back to the door and that someone was far too interested in Bones to pay any attention whatsoever to anything else. Jim almost felt sorry for that decidedly male someone, but he was too busy being interested in his own straight man to feel too bad.

"Bones!" Jim shouted once he got close enough to yell it right in the other man's ear, then slapped him on the back. "I need to talk to you."

"What're you doing down here?" The doctor replied, scaring Jim a little when he didn't grumble, even a little bit, about the yelling. "Aren't you mid-shift?"

Jim shrugged, then eyed the young man sat on the biobed. He thought that he was pretty familiar with all of the faces aboard his starship by now, but he didn't recognise him. "Hmm," he murmured, then grinned at Bones. "Yes, I am, but I need to talk to you."

"Now?"

"Yep," Jim's grin widened before he grabbed his best friend's wrist and dragging him into his office, waving a cheerful goodbye to the unknown ensign.

"Jim! I wasn't done! Harry burnt his wrist pretty badly, I need to check the skin's healing over properly," Bones protested, not putting up much of a fight.

"Please, Bones, the kid probably did it on purpose as an excuse to come up here and oogle your ass." Jim let Bones splutter over that for a moment, before continuing. "I," he began grandly, "had a craving."

The ever-present scowl on the Doctor's face deepened. "You're always having cravings, Jim, please don't tell me you've dragged me away from a patient to ask me if I know any girls who might be up for a threesome on the bridge with you."

Jim got lost in that imagery for a little while, replacing 'girls' with 'Spock' and 'threesome' with 'hot man sex'. Not that Bones' original idea didn't have merit too, of course. Then he shook himself and went back to retelling his experience. "No, Bones. An honest-to-God, I-fancy-a-pastry, did-my-stomach-just-rumble? craving. For food. A cinnamon whirl, to be precise."

Bones stared at him for a good minute or so, as Jim shifted uncomfortably beneath his gaze. Then he let out a loud bark of laughter. "Damn, Harry's good."

And, with that enigmatic statement, Bones led Jim back out of his office to properly introduce him to the young man he'd seen before.

AN: I know the ending's a bit vague - I can only promise you that the vagueness of the individual stories will form together like a puzzle to make a clear picture by the end. Well, I hope so anyway. Leonard's POV is coming up next and is already written (most of this is) so expect it tomorrow sometime! Later chapters will include Spock's, Nyota's and Scotty's POVs. Maybe more. :D Until then, why don't you review? Pretty please?

Love, Yellow
xx