A/N: I do not own anything. And I do not have a beta.
Shit! Andy thought. How could she be so stupid? Leaving the keys of her apartment at the Elias-Clarck Building while heading home with the subway. It was a flaw she had never made before. Well, at least not anymore since she started working for Miranda. Along with the job came the everlasting awareness to be ready to go anywhere at anytime. So she gained the skill of always having her phone, adapter, credit card and keys with her.
Except for today.
Why now of all days? It wasn't a problem that she left the keys at the building, as it was open at all time except for Christmas and thanksgiving, and Andy usually had no plans for the evening as she was most of the time delivering the book or trying to catch up her bottomless shortage of sleep, so despite of the waste of time that the trip took it did no harm. But tonight Miranda had personally asked her to go home. As in gently demand-asked. Or something on that blurry line. Originally she was supposed to wait for the book, but Miranda had crunched the cover of the golf spread and ordered an immediate reshoot which left Andy to reschedule a whole lot of appointments and that took most of her afternoon and evening. By the time she was done Miranda was surprisingly still there. Andy knew the twins were at their fathers, so Miranda could afford it to work late, but she usually went home around eight, when the work that was left could be done at home while waiting for the book. So when she heard the dismissive sigh which indicated that Miranda was done for the day, she stood up to grab her coat and bag and give them to her before Miranda could icily command them (it was a trick that had put a surprised and almost gentle look on Miranda's face the first time she pulled it, which was worth more to her than a love letter from Nate ever had been). But when she offered them to Miranda she saw hesitation.
'There is no need for that', Miranda spoke with a soft voice. Way too soft for Miranda's liking. She hardened her posture and facial expression immediately. 'I will stay and wait for the book, you can go home and... well... do whatever you do with that cookboy of yours.'
'Really? Are you sure?!' Andrea's eyebrows shut up in surprise, and after that a blush crept on her cheeks even faster. No one asks Miranda a question. Certainly not two.
A mild shot of irritation went through Miranda's blue pools. 'Andrea, I am not fond of rhetorical questions. Especially not on late evenings. Yes, you may go. And please do move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me.' She waved her hands in dismission.
'Ok-oke... Thank you Miranda,' she smiled a radiating smile and grabbed her purse and coat unbeknownst of the fact that her keys still laid at the stem of the computer screen. She walked behind her desk and turned around once more before. Gentle and warm as ever she spoke: 'Is there anything you need...?'
Miranda turned around to face Andrea. 'No... Thank you.' The soft voice was back again. Even softer she whispered 'Just some time alone to think.'
Andy looked at her with concern. Miranda behaved odd, and for the wide range of behaviour Miranda had shown throughout time there was only one sample of actions that looked a bit like now. That was when she found Miranda with red eyes from crying on a couch in Paris. Stripped from her walls of defence, only in a grey robe, which was not much to hide in.
'Well, then, I shall leave you to that.' She tried to put all her concern and care in the sentence. She wanted to let Miranda know that she worried about her. Cared about her. That she'd wanted to wrap the woman up in a hug and while soothing her back whisper 'It'll be alright, whatever it is, it'll be alright. I'm here.' But that wasn't an option, so she settled for trying to reach her through her voice.
They gazed at each other for a moment and Andy whispered a bit hoarse 'and for the record, Nate and I aren't together anymore' not since he found out that my heart was already token by you. She turned around and headed towards the elevator, already sunken in deep thoughts and concerns about the possible reasons for Miranda's behaviour. Going over strategies to make her schedule even smoother than it already was. Cracking her brain to make up ways to be there as much as possible for Miranda. Perhaps even on some hidden, covered, personal level. Not checking if she had everything with her.
She stood in her office with her face towards the skyline of New York. It was raining so she couldn't see as far as usually, but the sound of water splashing on her windows was calming and made her mind go open. She had an unusual few free hours that she wanted to spend in her sanctuary. Her office, which was more like home than three-quarters of her townhouse, provided her some distance from the loneliness she found at the den. Here she could let her thoughts wonder off without guilt of wasting time or of not being with her children.
Miranda had watched her leaving. It always stung a little. Even when it was just leaving because it was the end of the day, or to get some scarfs from Hermes, or because, as she did today, she asked her to go. There was ever the thought, the reflex, of losing her. That this time she wouldn't come back. That she would proceed what she almost started at Paris. Leaving.
The first few weeks after Paris she nearly panicked when Andrea was not at her side or her desk. Making it a living hell around her because Emily was still injured so unable to do any walking, let alone collecting or delivery. Over time she learned to slightly trust that Andrea would come back, at least with errands within working hours. Nevertheless taking out her fury on each single atom the moment Andrea appeared near being late. She lost her balance so easily, it was pathetic. She needed to do something about that. Make up a plan for the times that Andrea was having duties out of the office.
And then it struck her. Andrea would be leaving. Within a month. Her year would be over, her time served. Letting Miranda the depth of giving a glorious recommendation. She would be gone. Over days. Just like that, wiping out any traces that she ever existed, leaving her desk for the next faceless Emily, packing her smiles and her warmth to spread them elsewhere. Giving them to something someone! else. Her throat began to tighten. This would not do. She had to think of something else. Something neutral. Of her schedule, of the book that she would be reviewing tonight. Alone. Blackness lured behind her eyes as the visions of never having Andrea delivering the book anymore, never leaving a lingering scent of fresh-cut grass in the air, visions of the cold that would creep back into her body. She could already feel the price she would pay in the weeks after, the lacking of sleep, the inability to concentrate on her work making her vulnerable for backstabbing, the grieving that would follow upon Andrea's departure. She weighted heavily on her arms, shaking from the turmoil of pain and panic that fought each other to leave her body first. She would not be able to handle this. But there was nothing that she could do. Except for hoping, praying, that Andrea would somehow miraculously stay. 'Please, Andrea…. Oh, please stay…'
Andrea stepped in the elevator and pressed the button of the 36th floor, where the office was located. Her hair and coat were a bit damp from the rain. She took it off and held in in her arms, this way it would make less noise, in case Miranda was still there. It was a beautiful coat from Victor & Rolf, but had all kinds of silver clasps and buttons, that made a dangling sound when walking with it. Stepping out of the elevator, she looked around in the darkness of the office. There were no lights on and her eyes needed a few moments to get used to it, while inwardly she thought of the places that she could possibly left her keys. Walking towards her desk she spotted them almost immediately nearby the computer screen, relief flooding through her veins that she didn't need to pull about her desk. She reached out to pick them up but got distracted by movement in the corner of her vision. She turned her head. Through the doorpost of Miranda's office she saw a silhouette in front of the windows. Graceful and elegant with the outlining of a power-suit that followed the curves of an impeccable body the figure stood with the back towards Andy, leaning on the fingertips of outstretched arms placed on the windowsill. Rain framing her appearance.
Miranda.
Andy stopped breathing, never had Miranda looked more like a queen than now. Watching over her empire that she could change from uniform with a snap of her fingers. She appeared regal. That was, until the movement begun again. Miranda's body was shaking, and she heard unsteady breathing. Her shoulders begun to crumble and Andy heard a thick voice whisper 'Please, Andrea…. Oh, please stay…'.
It shook her out of her frozen state. Miranda was calling her. Did she knew she was here? And if not, why was Miranda calling for her? Either way Miranda was in severe distress and without checking her motives or spilling second thoughts about breaking golden rules and crossing employer- employee boundaries she walked towards her boss. Putting a feather light hand on her shoulder she whispered 'hey, what's wrong.'
Miranda spun around immediately. With eyes wide of fear and grieve she recognised her assistant and clutched to the lapels of Andrea's blazer, starting to talk in fits and starts. 'You can't… don't leave, please.. don't… you cant.. I won't… I couldn't… please…' Miranda was breathing very fast. A full blown panic attack, Andrea recognised. She immediately wrapped her arms around Miranda, loosely so that she wouldn't suffocate her, but with a certain solidity to secure her of her safety and to be able to catch her if Miranda's legs would give in. 'shhhhhh…. Miranda. I'm here…. Shhhhh…. Easy…. I'm not going anywhere…There… Breath slowly in and out…. Yes, that's it. Yes… she softly rubbed Miranda's back. Gliding her hand from between her shoulder blades over her neck through her hair. Caressing the silken strands. Relaxing Miranda's head in the crook of her neck, while the panicking changed into heavy sobs and salty water was dripping into her blouse. 'I'm not going anywhere, Miranda. I'm not leaving you. Ever.' She whispered in Miranda's ear. Sweet nothingness they called it, made to comfort, to pour out every single wave of sadness and replace it with solid love. Andrea soothed with every inch of her soul, hoping that whatever it was that was plaguing Miranda would vanish.
After a while the sobbing had slowly faded and she held an almost limp Miranda in her arms. Neither of them spoke, bot occupied with feeling the safety of the other. Andrea's heart almost spilled with tenderness and with Miranda all around her, her inhibitions seemed to fail. She tenderly pressed a soft kiss on the white hair. Drawing out a shaky, deep breath of relief from Miranda, who crawled deeper into the warmth of Andrea's arms. Minutes seemed to pass.
Until Miranda gathered herself and slowly detangled a little from her beautiful assistant. 'I'm sorry, I've seem to… lost myself for a bit.' She looked at the wet spot at Andrea's blouse, unable to face her yet.
'It's okay, Miranda.' Andrea smiled at her. 'I meant what I said. I'm here for you.' Silence filled the room. Suddenly nervous and aware of all the rules she had broken, she went on babbling. 'I can fetch things for you, remember? I'm good at fetching. That's what you said. I'm your assistant, I can fetch. For you. As you assistant' The light that had grown in Miranda's eyes faded.
'Yes. That is correct.' She stepped backwards. 'At least for another month, that is.' She tried to put up some of her iciness, but her energy had long gone. 'Then you are free to leave and fetch the world together, cause that is, if I recall correctly, after all what you wanted.'
Andrea's eyes went wide, and easily understood her mistake. 'No, Miranda. No, no no. No that's not what I meant. I will not leave you.'
Miranda looked suspicious. 'Then why? You want to stay as my assistant? Fetching the world from a Fashion magazine located at the 36th floor of an office building?' The words came out harsher than she wanted.
'No, I mean, yes, if that's the only way to 'not leave you'. Then yes, but…' Andrea's voice trailed off.
'But…?' Miranda's voice suddenly sounded unsure, fragile.
'But I'll never leave you… because…' Andrea's breath faltered as she stepped forward 'because I… Want to be there for you… Because I…' She looked up along Miranda's neckline, into Miranda's eyes 'Because… I… Because I,' and then she pressed her lips to Miranda's. Fierce, converting all her insecurities into action. She felt a whimper, and then, after a few seconds, pressure back and long, slim fingers gliding up in her hair. The kiss was intense but soft, clinging to each other till oxygen was required. It subsided in slow, tender kisses till they stood looking in each other's eyes. Gazing. 'I'll never leave you,' Andrea whispered hoarse and caressed a thumb over Miranda's cheek, 'because I am utterly, thoroughly, and completely in love with you.'
And then, Miranda's expression changed into the most soft and tender Andrea had ever seen. A smile appeared and warmth radiated onto Andrea. She lifted her hand and caressed Andrea's cheeck, so that they were standing synchronously. 'My brave Andrea,' she uttered, nearly closing the gap between them and whispering against Andrea's mouth before kissing her once more 'I'll never leave you too.'