AN/ Hey :) I'm still a little new at writing fanfics and I know its a bit jumbled up but I would really appreciate some feedback on how to make it better. Review please :)
Disclaimer: If I was as great of a writer like Cassie Clare I wouldn't be posting a disclaimer would I?
Jace POV
I shouldn't love you but I want to. I just can't turn away. I shouldn't see you but I can't move, I can't look away.
Shouldn't love you? That's the biggest understatement I've ever heard. Loving you is wrong beyond all means, but I just can't help it. It hurts so much when I see you. I try not to. But I can't not see you. It's impossible.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. 'Cuz I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
I tried to let go. Immensely hard. I try to act fine. But it's tougher than you think. If only I knew how to stop this. This murderous thing they call love. If only I can change fate. If only I can change the way everything was supposed to be. Change the ending to this tragic fairytale.
Just so you know this feeling's taking control of me. And I can't help it.
It's like a kind of beer or vodka, this unknown emotion. Intoxicating, but still dangerous. I try not to give into it. To not let it take control of my senses. But it's so deliciously tempting. There you are, unknowingly taunting me to become a rebel. I almost fall for the trap before I remember how disgusting it would be. Sickening to the stomach for all our friends and family.
I can't sit around. I can't let him win now.
As selfish as it seems, I can't sit by and watch you pretend to be in love with that bloodsucker fool. He may be harmless, but I know you aren't happy with him. You may act like you are but your wall is weaker, smaller than mine. I can see through you like a window.
"Thought you should know, I tried my best to let go of you. But I don't want to."
I really did try. I tried to convince myself to let go. To forget my feelings for you. That scene with Aline was just another attempt. Another failed attempt. I may forget for a moment, being caught up in the lust. But every time I see you it all comes rushing back, like a tsunami wave crashing down on me.
"Just gotta say it all before I go,"
And now I'm wondering what would hurt the most. Staying and not being able to love you or even look at you, or leaving with the possibility of never coming back. I hope you understand.
"Just so you know.."