Summary: I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much to handle, just living all these lives, all these lies. I needed a way to escape. A way to be able to finally be how I am. I'm Sorry. D/G ONE SHOT-SONG FIC (Run by Snow Patrol)
Author's Note: This is a co-written fic between HappiGoLucki616 and friend who forgot her password and now cannot sign into Her penname used to be Frozen In Time. Oh well...Enjoy! By the way: If you have the song Run by Snow Patrol: PLAY IT! It will set the mood. And put it on repeat...
Disclaimer: We don't own anything-not the lyrics ;; or the book. Oh well...
Light Up, Light Up
I feel so cold. I can't feel anything. I shiver and hug myself closer. I feel like I'm standing in the rain. I look around me and see everyone else. Living their life. I'll never have that. I never did. There's Ron, chatting up Hermione. They'll get together someday. Not today. But someday. And there's Harry, glancing at Paravati, eyes glazed. Too bad she has a boyfriend.
Then there's Draco. I feel like crying. He's perfect. Something I'll never be.
I remember. I will always remember. The way he made me feel. The way he still makes me feel. The first time I had met him, he had been so nice to me. I felt as if I didn't deserve it.
And I still feel that way.
I feel like laughing. I feel like whispering. I feel like screaming. I'm so caught up.
I remember.
I remember the day I told him I feel hollow. Empty. Not there.
He held me tightly and kissed away my tears. And told me that I was important to him.
I remember the chocolate mousse. One second it was on my lips, the next it was on his. The chocolatiest kiss I had ever had.
The first kiss I ever had.
And ever will.
Then there were the secret meetings. Where we would just sit and think.
I could feel what he was feeling.
I look around one last time. No one is looking at me. I sigh and stand up.
I pull out my wand and clear the table. Now. Now people are paying attention to me.
As I get up on the table, I shake. No one can tell. But I am. I'm shaking inside.
I glance at Draco and see wonder and fear in his eyes. He doesn't get up.
But he will.
As soon it all ends.
He will get up.
If he cares. If...
"I exist." I say bitterly. "Though you might not know it, I highly doubt my brother does, I exist. Too bad that none of you knew me."
'I'll sing it one last time for you then we really have to go you've been the only thing that's right in all I've done'
"I know. I know I've messed up a lot. I'm messing up right now. But so have you. So have you all. We all mess up. But it's okay. It's just human. Or is it?"
I look at Draco. I try to smile, but then I realize that I'm crying.
"You're the only right thing I've done in my whole life. You, Draco." I say his name like a whisper. Like something precious that I'll no longer have. That I'll loose.
'And I can barely look at you but every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere away from here'
"You are my life. As clichéd as that sounds, it's true. Very true. Without you, I was nothing. I still am. But not in your eyes. I hope. I hope that if I'm gone you'll be nothing too, like I was before you. When I'm gone, I hope that you'll be able to hear my voice. Even though I'm not next to you. I just hope that you can hear me whispering your name when you need it the most."
'Light up light up as if you have a choice even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear'
"I wish that it was possible that we could just run away. Run away and leave. And run away from our mistakes. Run away from everything that's bad. But you can't. You can't say what's right, what's wrong. You can't. I don't blame you for that. I don't blame you for that. I just wish that you can stand up and tell the world. Tell them what you feel. But it hurts. The truth hurts. It always does. I wish it didn't. But it does."
'Louder louder and we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand why you can't raise your voice to say'
"But thinking about the end. That's hard too. Thinking that I may never see your eyes, those small pieces of heaven that helped me make it through everyday. That makes it hard not to cry. But now, as I'm saying this: I do cry."
'To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry and we say our long goodbye I nearly do'
"And I want to remind you that when I'm gone, I'll still be here. Maybe not in your hearts, because they never knew me, and never will. But in yours, Draco, I hope I'll still be there. I hope I'll always be there. Because you'll be in mine. You always were, even if I didn't know it. Always will be."
'Light up light up as if you have a choice even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear'
"I just wish,.. I just wish that we didn't have to run. That we could walk in the halls without being scared. Without fearing for our reputations. We never had any. I never had one. You did. Maybe I would've had one. But I won't. I know I won't. I hate the fact that I was always on the run, fearing for my life for being with you. I wish it wasn't that way. But wishes don't come true...."
'Louder louder and we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand why you can't raise your voice to say'
I look around at the faces near me. Hermione's mouth is hanging wide open. Doesn't she know proper manners? No one wants to see the chewed up pieces of chicken. But why does it matter? Do I want everything to be perfect before I go away? I'm going to be gone in a few seconds. Minutes. Whatever. Important thing: I'm going to be gone.
Not like they care.
Harry's is choking back laughter. He doesn't believe what I'm saying. He thinks it's a joke. Stupid St. Potter. I hope you die. Voldemort's going to win. I know it. I feel it. And soon you will, too, when you're lying in your grave wishing you had paid more attention to me. Wishing you had paid more attention to everyone.
Ron. That's a sight. As soon as I had mentioned Draco's name his face had paled. He couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I can't blame him. Neither can I.
But it's real. It's happening.
And the end is coming.
"I just want to find out how each of you could've forgotten about me. How you didn't pay attention to me. Just teach me how you did that. Maybe then I could've forgotten myself."
'Slower slower we don't have time for that all I want is to find an easier way to get out of our little heads'
"I'm scared. You are too. I can feel it. It's not like you care anyway, do you? After this. You'll forget me. I know it. But you'll still be scared. You have to be scared. If you're scared than your finally noticing things. Noticing life. You can't live your life not noticing anything. You'll be dead if you do."
'Have heart my dear we're bound to be afraid even if it's just for a few days making up for all this mess'
"This is it. This is the end. Do you know what's going to happen? Do you know what I'm going to do?" I pause, waiting to see if anyone wants to say a last word. The last word I would hear before...before I did it.
No one said anything.
"I didn't think you would know. No one knows me. No one, except you." I look up at him. Is that a tear? A tear on Draco Malfoy's face?
"This is the end..." I whisper.
BANG
As I'm crumbling to the floor, I can see them rushing towards me.....It's too late.
I see Draco mouthing something to me. I shake my head feebly; I can't understand what he is saying.
"I Love You...." He was mouthing.
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THE END
A/N- The end... the end. So...what do you think? Please review...Thanks.