Blank Canvas

By. Lilyfox

Chapter One

The Bell Jar

When I was a first year, young and naïve, I remember when the sorting hat was settled over my head by a younger Professor McGonagall. The brim fell over my cinnamon eyes and landed at the tip of my nose, tickling it slightly. I suddenly had the urge to sneeze but resisted. How embarrassing would it have been to have sneezed in front of the entire school?

The hat hadn't automatically yelled out in its omniscient voice, "Slytherin!" unlike past children from the House of Black, all who had sat underneath this exact same hat. We Blacks had been attending Hogwarts since the days of Salazar Slytherin.

As I sat nervously on the stool, my legs crossed primly at my ankles, a voice softly echoed from inside my consciousness, and I jumped slightly with surprise.

"Miss Andromeda Black, my, aren't you different." A shiver ran up my spine. Different was not an adjective that one strived for in my society. And suddenly a weight plummeted into my stomach.

"You are a clever witch, curious too. Always asking questions… must have driven your family mad. Perceptive, pragmatic, impartial: a perfect Ravenclaw. I can see an almost mirror image of Rowena, herself."

"But… but…" my timid eleven-year-old self stuttered inside my mind. "I can't be a Ravenclaw. I'm a Black."

Looking back I'm shocked that I'd challenged the sorting hat on his decision. I'd never been confrontational. My older sister, Bellatrix, had, had a nasty temper which had trained me to avoid conflict of any sort.

"And pray tell Miss Andromeda, why should I put you in Slytherin?" The hat asked, almost knowingly.

"I'm ambitious."

The hat was silent, as if it was looking over my mental fabric, reexamining me. "Yes that you are. But your ambition is different; Slytherin will stunt you in the future. You'll be unhappy."

"No, I won't be. Slytherin is where I belong. My family has always been in Slytherin. I'm a daughter from the House of Black; they wouldn't understand why I wasn't in Slytherin and they sure wouldn't accept me in Ravenclaw. All the people I grew up with are in Slytherin. I'd be alone in Ravenclaw!"

The words reverberated inside my mind. I had stood up for myself for the first time in my life, and what a mistake I had made. But I was still young; the teachings from my childhood had never been ignored. The sorting hat was right I was curious, and this had driven me to want to learn. So I had listened to my tutors with abetted breathe, soaked up everything; unlike my obstinate older sister Bellatrix and my flippant younger sister Narcissa. And my pliable mind had been molded to the teachings and mores of the aristocratic pureblood class.

The hat gave a deep sigh, "Remember this moment Andromeda." And dejectedly he yelled out for the entire Hogwarts' population to hear, "Slytherin!"

And remember I did. I had made a mistake.

My thoughts were flowing along these memories as I sat alone, upon on expansive boulder that overlooked the lake at Hogwarts. I sat underneath an umbrella as rain fell around me, staring out onto the surface of the lake.

I was lonely. The sorting hat had been right when it'd told me I'd be unhappy in Slytherin.

It wasn't as if I was ostracized or bullied by my peers. I was a Black. But as I grew up I found it difficult to follow the dogma forced upon us by our families and society. They didn't want you to think. Asking questions was dangerous in our circle. All they wanted you to do was memorize the doctrine being taught to you and regurgitate it back. But I choked on it. It tasted of bile, of chains tying me down in submission.

In my third year, I officially stopped accepting the creed of the pureblood families. And that is around the time when I felt a bell jar enclose me.

Bell jar… I read a book later in my life written by a muggle author, Sylvia Plath, where she described depression as being inside a bell jar. Disconnected from society, and seeing the world around you through the distortion of the thick glass. I related to her words. I'd felt the same during my years at Hogwarts. After I broke myself away from the indoctrination, that I'd felt up until that point, I couldn't relate to my housemates.

They all seemed to have the same thoughts; the same expressions and the same reactions. I craved more. It was almost as if they were reading from a script. Phrases such as "filthy mudblood" and "blood-traitor" were ingrained into them.

But I was weak. I had stopped society from taking hold of my mind, but I couldn't escape. I was terrified of breaking from my world. It was all I knew. I didn't want to be all alone, which ironically enough was where I found myself.

It was my sixth year, and I sat still, as if frozen; perched on that rock, with the rain falling in curtains around me. A frigid gust of wind blew from the north, but it didn't faze me. I was numb and lost in thought.

A polished green prefect badge was pinned perfectly straight on my black woolen cloak. I had excelled academically at Hogwarts. I had garnered a string of top marks in all my classes along with nearly all perfect O's on my O.W.L.s except for a single E in Ancient Runes. I'd accidentally mixed up the runic inscriptions for justice and perseverance during the exam.

Although my dedication to my studies could be chalked up to my curious nature and love of learning, I also used studying as a perfect excuse to avoid my housemates. I'd rather have been thought a lackluster bookworm than let them know my secret, that I surreptitiously abhorred talking to them.

I still wonder today why I was so scared at the idea of them knowing my secret. It would seem common sense that a person wouldn't care what the people she resented thought about her, but obviously it still mattered to me. I still wanted to play the perfect daughter. Maybe I wanted to gain acceptance from my ignorant parents and therefore solidifying the fact that I could survive in our society and think independently…

So I, Andromeda Black, did everything by the book. Studied my lessons, behaved appropriately with grace and manners, spent my free time with people from my family's circle, I even dated Yanic Reece in my fourth year to please my sisters and parents. But as time slipped by, as it has the tendency to do, I felt my patience wearing thin. Cracks began forming at the edge of my superficial mask and so I retreated deep into the library and to this rock where I was sitting, with the rain falling around me.

This rock was a perfect hiding spot. It was on an obscure bank of the large lake that was situated on the Hogwarts' grounds. I'd come out here to think, read, and be alone.

I was suddenly pulled from my inner thoughts by the sound of slippery footsteps. I briskly turned around to come face-to-face with a fellow sixth year. His name was Ted Tonks, a Ravenclaw prefect, and I'd known who he was since first year from having classes with the Ravenclaws. He was a muggleborn and quite a clever warlock. I had a grudging respect for him because he'd always kept up with me in classes and was second in our year behind me. I'd even found myself consciously competing against him for better grades, although I'd never admit it out loud.

He was standing about three meters away from where I sat, also holding an umbrella but it didn't seem to be helping much with the whole averting water aspect. He was covered in mud and utterly drenched to the bone. I gave him a questioning look, for I had never talked to him in the entire six years I'd been at Hogwarts; and it was rather strange for him to suddenly appear.

"I…um… Hi I'm Ted." He rubbed his neck self consciously and had an expression on his face as if he was starting to regret his decision to approach me.

I raised an eyebrow, "I know who you are," I replied tersely.

"Oh!" He seemed surprised at this revelation, "Well that's positive then. Um…"

"Yes?" I was quickly becoming annoyed. I saw absolutely no point in this exchange.

Sensing my irritation Ted gave me a lopsided grin trying to disperse the tension that was quickly building. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here?"

I refrained from snorting, "The thought had crossed my mind."

"Well, you see, I'm a member of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, keeper actually. And during practices I've always noticed you sitting out here by yourself; and because Yarborough is clinically insane, he's our quidditch captain by the way, we had practice in this storm." He paused to wave his hand encompassing the rain into his tale. "And well, during practice today I noticed you sitting underneath an umbrella in this god forsaken weather… and I was wondering if you were okay? Or if you were clinically insane like Yarborough?" He laughed a little at the end of his longwinded explanation trying to dissolve the pregnant stillness between us.

I was stunned. First by the fact that my clandestine rock wasn't as clandestine as I'd thought it was. It'd never entered my mind that I could be seen from the quidditch field. Second that he'd even bothered noticing me, repeatedly from what I could perceive from his harried explanation as to why he'd interrupted my mental musings, and third that he'd even bothered approaching me and asked me if I was okay.

I said the first thing that came to my mind, "I like the rain." This wasn't necessarily a lie. I did truly love the rain, it had a calming effect on me, but that fact had absolutely nothing to do with why I was there. But I'd be damned if I told a perfect stranger that I was avoiding the world; curled up against the glass walls of my bell jar.

It was his turn to give me a quizzical look, "And the rest of the days I've spotted you here when it was sunny?"

Unsettled, I got up from my seated position and reposition my cloak. I began walking towards Ted who was silently watching me. I walked past him and stopped a few meters behind him. Turning my head to catch a glimpse of him I couldn't help but ask out loud, "Why do you even care? It's not like we know each other or anything."

He turned to face me, the outlines of his facial features were blurred due to the rain and I suddenly became hypersensitive to the sound the rain made against the vinyl of my umbrella.

"Because it's unusual," He paused momentarily before continuing, "Like you Andromeda Black. You're an enigma, a puzzle, and I love a good challenge." He started walking, careful not to slip in the mud and as he came level to where I stood, he paused briefly to look at me. And my cinnamon eyes met his cobalt eyes. Time continued moving but it seemed as if it'd stilled as we both were caught in each other's gazes. I didn't realize it at the time, but the flag, symbolizing the start of our little game, had been metaphorically thrown onto the playing field by Ted.

He turned away after a few seconds and continued walking forward, leaving me behind. He called out behind him, "See you around Andromeda." And I swear I could see the smile spread across his face even though I was facing his back.

He left me standing in the rain, alone and stunned. Even if there had been anyone around I doubt I would have been able to say anything to them. I was speechless. Someone had, had the audacity to approach me and speak to me. Not only that, he was a muggleborn Ravenclaw. Shouldn't he have been scared of me? Scared of my surname? Scared of my loyalties? Scared of the repercussions speaking to me would have incurred?

But he hadn't been scared of me. When we'd caught each other's eye there hadn't been a single sign of trepidation, but there had been one emotion I was quite familiar with, flashing back at me; curiosity.

I suddenly felt a feeling spread throughout me, touching the numbness that had occupied my consciousness just a few minutes before. Ted Tonks had ignited my curiosity. And at that moment I figuratively picked up his challenge and threw my own flag into the ring. And against my own will, I let a small grin spread across my face. This was going to be fun.

After I went to the kitchens to request a bowl of soup, I walked down to dungeons where the Slytherin common room was located. As I whispered the password, "Argentum," the wall vanished to reveal a hallway that led into the underground common room.

I'd never really liked the Slytherin common room. It always seemed rather macabre with its lack of natural light and green lamps that gave of a lime glow to everything. The walls were made of carved stone and the room overall had a rather obvious serpentine motif.

My younger sister Narcissa sat on an emerald couch holding court. She was a popular fourth year who was beloved amongst the Slytherins. Although my sister never made remarkable grades at Hogwarts she wasn't vapid, like many of the girls from other houses use to claim she was. She was aloof to schoolwork, because she knew her place in the grand scheme of things. And unlike me, she enjoyed it. So rather than waste her time working on academics when she'd become the perfect wife, she spent her time weaving her social web. She was a master manipulator and she found great entertainment in controlling the puppet-strings of the oblivious Slytherins. My sister would never need the Imperius curse.

Once my sister spotted me she waved her perfectly manicured hand for me to approach the crowd that was gathering around her. Feeling it was better not to anger my sister; I acquiesced to her wishes and walked up to her.

If there was one thing my sister hated was change and subordination. In her mind she had everything planned out to the smallest detail and moment. But if for any reason something didn't go according to plan or if something didn't follow through; she was unable to adjust and it enraged her.

"Andromeda, how are you today?" My sister smiled up at me from the couch with warmth, "I haven't seen you all day. You old goose I bet you were in the library studying the day away." She wrinkled her nose in dislike as the thought of wasting away a Saturday in the library crossed her mind.

Thinking it was better to tell a little white lie I forcibly smiled back, "Something like that."

Narcissa melodiously giggled, "I'll never understand where you get your resilience from. When I open a book I just want to fall asleep after the first sentence." The crowd around her laughed at her comment and she gave them a rewarding smile, "Don't you agree Portia?"

My attention turned to one of her close friends Portia Tricot, who was honestly nothing more than her minion.

"Absolutely Cissy, but Andromeda always is winning Slytherin house points for her brilliance." There was a murmur of assent throughout the group and I started feeling nervous. I wanted nothing more to escape from the judging looks of my housemates. The more invisible I am, the less they'll think about me and my eccentricities.

Hebe Morrison, a fellow six year, chimed in approvingly, "Yeah, the other day Professor Slughorn gave her fifteen points because of her Wiggenweld Potion."

Everyone started to mutter appreciatively, but I was getting nervous and was shifting my weight back and forth. Giving the best apologetic smile I could drum up to Narcissa and her admirers I excused myself and without displaying my nerves walked up the stairs to my dormitory.

When I entered I was surprised to find Moirae Wilkes sitting cross-legged on her bed. Now I know that all the other houses at Hogwarts believe that all the Slytherins are horrible, back-stabbing people; that all the men in Slytherin were Death Eaters and all the women were gossiping bitches. But that just wasn't true. Like any house we were diverse, and for all the disliked members of our house there were the liked ones abet there were less of them than in the other houses. Slytherins tended to stick together.

But Moirae was interesting. I saw her almost as a kindred spirit although I'd never say we were friends. She was named after the Moirae of Greek mythology the three white-robed Fates. In mythology they personified destiny and they determined a person's fate.

Moirae Wilkes knew a person's fate. She was one of those rare seers that pop up in the ancient pure-blooded family trees every few generations. And because of this she kept mainly to herself. She was a true believer in the school of divination forged by Carmenta Stephnapolis that taught that a seer should never disclose their knowledge of the future. The reasoning being that if people knew they'd try fruitlessly to change their future and it just lead to the prophecy, so the unseeing population was better off being oblivious.

So it was always hard for me to speak to Moirae because she'd always look at me omnisciently. When I'd say something she'd have a knowing flash in her eyes. As if she was connecting the dots of my future, unknown to me. And honestly it drove me insane.

Because I wanted to know. Would I end marrying a Greengrass, a Malfoy, a Vaisley or a Lestrange? Or would I stand up for myself and tell my parents I wanted a career? Or even better yet would I unwittingly die at the tender age of seventeen when one of Narcissa's annoying Puffskein sat on my face while I slept and suffocate me? Life was just so unexpected, but she knew the unexpected and it disconcerted me.

I gave her a nod as I walked over to my chest at the end of my bed. I began unwrapping my scarf from around my neck when Moirae unexpectedly addressed me.

"Hi Andromeda." I turned slowly to find her sitting passively on her bed giving me a serene look.

"Hello…" I replied, a little uncertain.

"What dreadful weather isn't it? All this rain makes me miss the sun."

I stare at her dubiously, unsure of how to respond. "Yes… the weather is certainly... wet." I mentally hit myself, where was my supposed intelligence? But this girl had always unnerved me.

She gave me a meaningful half smile, "So you meet someone interesting today from what I understand." I was suddenly taken aback by her directness, and suddenly memories of what had happened earlier by the lake came flooding back to me. I'd forgotten about Ted Tonks since entering the Slytherin common room.

And again I was intimidated by Moirae Wilkes. Would she tell our fellow housemates that I had, had a conversation with a muggleborn without any disgust, or hatred towards him?

Before I could ask her anything, we were interrupted by the sudden grand entrance of my first cousin Ceres Rosier and her best friend Lyra Prewett.

My cousin always seemed to have perfect timing. "Andromeda! Have you by any chance seen my book of beauty charms? Io Warrington, you know that third year? Poor dear, she needs a good scar removal charm immediately. I'm not quite sure the whole story but there's now an unsightly scar plainly visible on her face."

I shook my head and watched as Lyra Prewitt began digging through her trunk singing the newest single from Trivia Mon the latest wizarding rock band. Lyra was a member of the much gossiped about House of Prewitt which had just had a rather much talked about split due to the ongoing debates in the Wizengamot. It had caused problems for her at the beginning of the year but she'd proven her loyalty to Slytherin and pure-bloods in general with a few well aimed barbs to the muggleborns of Hogwarts.

Throughout the commotion for the search of the missing book I quietly padded towards my bed trying to avoid the omniscient gaze of Moirae.

I climbed into my bed and pulled the curtains around me trying to avoid everyone around me. I grabbed a book from its position on my side table and stared reading The Legal and Political Theories and Quandaries Arising from the Fall of the Wizards' Council, as I tried to get comfortable inside my bell jar.

A/N: Yay for a new story! I highly recommend that you read my one-shot Accursed before continuing on with the rest of Blank Canvas. I wrote Accursed as a companion piece and it gives a lot of background information on Andromeda and her sisters' early childhood. The events that occur in Accursed are essential to the plot development of these characters but I didn't want to interrupt the flow of this story with a myriad of flashbacks. Well I hoped you enjoyed the beginning! Questions, comments, and concerns are always welcome.