I felt like they left us hanging after the events of The Eye, so I decided that there needed to be a proper ending. I know that there are a lot of these but I decided to give it a try anyway. Besides hopefully the movie they have coming out on the SciFi channel will make for the loss we all feel with them ending the show. So here we go.
He couldn't stop looking at it. The cut was deep and his whole arm burned when ever he moved it. The edges of the jagged cut were inflamed and hot to the touch, a sure sign that it was infected. Rodney McKay sat on his bed, ignoring everything that was going on in the rest of the city and focused only on his mangled arm. It had been four hours since he had received it at the hands of Genii commander Kolya, who had tortured him to get the plans to save the city. One little cut, that was all it had taken to break him. The whole hour Elizabeth had been gone all they'd done to was torture and beat him. He couldn't stand himself, he'd betrayed his friends and almost allowed Teyla and Carson to die, just because he'd been to impatient to wait two minutes. It had taken a warning form John to get him to wait. If he hadn't been there two of his friends would be dead.
As soon as he had been able to, he'd left the Control room and headed directly to his room. Rodney was just glad that no one had decided to bother him on the way. At least the bad wrap job he'd done to himself had people believing that he was over exaggerating his injuries. Sometimes it helped to be thought of as a hypochondriac.
He pulled out a fresh roll of gauze and wrapped it tightly and neatly around his arm, wincing as he did so. He pulled on a clean jacket, making sure the whole bandage was completely covered by the sleeve. He knew he should have someone look at it but he couldn't bring himself to do so. It was his fault they had almost lost Atlantis to the Genii. In his eyes he didn't deserve any help. He walked down to his lab, he wanted to make sure all the systems were running smoothly and he wanted to start running checks now that he knew it would be completely void of people.
--2 Hours Later--
Rodney walked back to his quarters, after deciding to call it a night. His arm had gone from a from a dull throbbing to a searing pain. It took much of his self control not to cry out in pain. He looked down at his heavily bandaged arm, he had noticed become swollen roughly an hour earlier. He'd ended up having to wrap another roll of gauze around his arm since the first one had started to become splotched with blood. An overly large military jacket hid the bandage from view.
He was halfway to his room before realizing that he really didn't want to be there. He walked past his door, continuing on to the nearest transporter. He pressed the coordinates for a less commonly used tower. Finally he reached the balcony he often visited when he needed to spend sometime alone. He nearly collapsed onto the floor and rested his back against the cool metal of the tower wall. No matter how many times he saw the view, he never got tired of it. The balcony faced the north and stood a little ways away from the main cluster of towers that sat in the middle of the city. Directly in front of him one of the arms of the city stretched out and beyond that , the vast blue sparkling ocean. Even with the million of lights, the stars could still be seen clearly in the sky.
He gave a intake of breath as a particularly sharp stab of pain ran through his arm. He clutched it protectively to his chest and breathed through his nose waiting for the pain to stop. Five agonizing minutes later the pain finally receded from a deep stabbing pain to a searing pain.
His common sense was telling him to go and see Carson and get his arm checked out but he still believed that Carson wouldn't want to look at him after what he had almost done. Rodney believed that this was his penance for almost killing two of his friends. He didn't know how long he sat there before he realized how tired he was suddenly feeling. Rodney picked himself up and staggered through the corridors to his room. Once he got inside he locked his door, even though he knew if John or Carson came looking for him he they could easily command it open.
He removed the military jacket and the outer two layers of gauze leaving only one last bandage and his uniform jacket and shirt. He removed the bloodied jacket and threw it into the corner next to his desk and set to work on removing his shirt and the last bandage. After more then six hours the blood had dried and it had dried the fabric of his shirt to his skin. He was able to get his uninjured arm out of the sleeve and get the shirt over his head. Rodney knew the quickest way to get it off would be just ripping it. Before he did that he cut off as much of the bandage as he could, leaving only the bloodiest part. Rodney took a deep breath, gave a mental three count and ripped the offending article of clothing off, taking the leftover bandage with it.
He bit his lower lip hard and took deep gasping breaths as he rode out the waves of pain that assaulted him. The cut started bleeding again and he used his already ruined shirt to staunch the blood flow. A few minutes later his arm was wrapped in a fresh roll of gauze and he was dressed in in a pair of lose fitting sweats and an overly large black t-shirt. He lay down on his bed, curled up under the blankets on his side, his injured arm resting gently against his stomach.
He fell into a restless sleep, never noticing the small shivers that started to rack his body.
** Mess Hall**
John walked into the ness hall and went directly for the bowls of hot soup and cups of fresh coffee. He looked around for a place to sit and saw Elizabeth and Carson sitting in one of the corner tables. He made his way over and sat down next to them.
" Hey Elizabeth. Carson." he said.
Elizabeth gave him a tired smile, " Hi John."
Carson also gave him a tired smile, though his looked a little more painful.
" You feeling better?" asked John, as he dug into his soup.
" A wee bit of a headache but nothing to bad. What about you?" he asked, giving John a quick once over.
John shrugged, " Been better." he turned to Elizabeth. " How are you?"
She grimaced, " I'm still dealing with everything. Having a gun pointed as you not once but twice in the same night can be a little overwhelming." she sighed. " I'm worried about Rodney though."
John paused, his coffee cup halfway to his lips. " Why?" he asked, wonder what could have happened to Rodney, that he didn't know about.
" He was bleeding. Pretty badly actually." she answered.
" What happened to him?" asked Carson, suddenly worried.
" His arm was bleeding. Kolya had me show his men where the medical supplies, C4 and the wraith device were. I couldn't have been gone more then an hour but when I got back to the control room Rodney's arm was bleeding and he was apologizing for telling Koyla the plan to save the city." Elizabeth explained.
Carson tapped his radio, " Kim this is Beckett."
John and Elizabeth could hear the response through the small radio. " What do you need doc?"
" I was wondering if Dr, McKay has been in any time tonight?" he couldn't keep the note of worry out of his voice.
"Sorry doc, I haven't seen him but I'll radio you if he happens to come in."
" Thanks Kim. Beckett out." he turned his radio off and faced Elizabeth. " Was he still bleeding once people started returning through the gate?"
Not that I noticed." answered John. " Though his arm was wrapped in an obscene amount of gauze."
" You don't believe he was still bleeding do you?" asked Elizabeth.
John wasn't sure he wanted to know if Rodney had walked out with a serious injury because that would only prove what he was already thinking. Rodney had to have been tortured. He turned his attention back to Carson when he heard him start talking again.
"I don't know but I think I need to go and pay him a visit."
" I'll go with you." John offered.
" That would be wonderful. Thank you." Carson gave him another tired smile. He knew it would be easier to get Rodney up to the infirmary if they were both there.
" Radio me if something comes up." requested Elizabeth as both men stood from the table.
" We will." John said and both turned and hurried out of the mess hall.
The walk to Rodney's room was silent as both men were caught up in their own thoughts.
Carson had known Rodney for little over a year, since he had first come to Antarctica. He had never known the man to hid any injuries, no matter how minor and superficial they were. So he had been surprised and a little worried to hear that Rodney had not been up to the infirmary to get his arm checked out by either him or one of the nurses. He hoped the man was okay but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
John's thoughts were focused more on what had happened to Rodney during that hour he'd been alone with the Genii leader. It didn't take an genius to figure out that Rodney had been tortured. He was worried about how Rodney was handing it. He hoped Rodney wasn't blaming himself for telling Koyla the plans to save the city. Just thinking about it made him angry. Not at Rodney. At Koyla. He wished he hadn't shot him in the shoulder but in the head instead. He swore that if he ever saw him again, John would make sure he didn't survive the encounter.
They reached Rodney's rooms quicker then John thought they would. He was about to knock when Carson beat him to it and gave three sharp knocks.
" Rodney open your door. We know you're in there so you can stop hiding and come out ." he waited a few seconds before trying again. "Either come out willingly or we can force it open ourselves."
John was slightly surprised at how forceful the normally easy going doctor sounded.
After a few more minutes Rodney still hadn't come out and both Carson and John knew something wasn't right.
" Open it." instructed Carson.
John focused his thoughts on willing the door open and a few seconds later it slid open.
The room was almost completely dark, the only light coming from the curtained window. John could make out the outline of someone laying on the bed and realized quickly that it was Rodney. Carson willed the lights on, allowing them to see Rodney more clearly then before.
Carson took one look at him and rushed over to his bedside. He checked his blood pressure, heart rate and he used his hand to check his temperature. It was then he noticed the small tremors that still shook Rodney's body.
John noticed them to and tapped his radio, " This is Sheppard. I need a med team in Dr. McKay's room."
He turned it off without waiting for a reply, he knew they had heard him.
" How is he Carson?" John stepped closer to the bed and took careful stock of his friend. Rodney was nearly as white as a sheet but at the same time his cheeks were flushed and he had a light sheen of sweat on his forehead.
Carson shook his head, " He's not good. The cut Elizabeth was talking about goes from his wrist to his elbow. He's got a fever and the cut looks like its infected."
Carson set to work on peeling off the blood soaked bandages, " Can you go get me a wet wash cloth and see if you can find more bandages lying around. It doesn't look like he's cleaned it at all."
John walked into the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel and soaked it with warm water. He looked for some bandages but didn't find any so he just wrung out the towel and walked back out and gave it to Carson, who started cleaning Rodney's arm.
John quickly looked in Rodney's desk drawers and in his night stand but didn't find any. He told Carson this and he just waved his hand in a dismissive manner, " It's fine the med team should be here soon."
No sooner had he finished saying that before a knocking at the door alerted them to the med team's arrival. John let them in and they and Carson quickly and efficiently lifted Rodney onto the awaiting gurney. One of the nurses placed a pressure bandage on Rodney's arm and he was rushed out of the room.
John followed behind them, radioing Elizabeth as he did. She asked if he wanted Teyla and Ford woken up but John told her to let them sleep, he'd radio them if Rodney got worse.
Once they got to the infirmary Carson started shouting out orders. Rodney, who was still unconscious, was quickly hooked up to a heart monitor, pulse ox, nasal canula and two IVs. John stood far enough back so that he wasn't in the way but close enough so he could keep an eye on Rodney. He was so caught up in what was going on that he was only vaguely aware of Elizabeth coming and standing next to him.
" How is he John?" she asked as she watched Carson place another gauze pad over Rodney's arm.
" I think they are having problems stopping the bleeding. When we found him his garbage was filled with bloodied bandages." John explained.
A few more minutes passed before Carson ordered them to start prepping the OR as one of the nurses replaced the nasal canula with an oxygen mask. Carson walked over to them.
" Why are you taking him into surgery?" John asked.
" We can't stop his arm from bleeding. He's already lost to much blood, anymore and he could bleed to death." he informed them.
" Why hasn't it stopped yet?" Elizabeth asked. " It's been hours, shouldn't it have stopped by now?"
" Aye, it should have. I think he was given a blood thinner of some kind to prevent it from clotting." Carson scrubbed his face, " I sent a sample of his blood to the lab to be tested. Hopefully they find something and are able to reverse it."
A nurse walked up, " We're ready Dr. Beckett."
Carson nodded, " I'll be right there," she nodded and walked away. " The lab should have something in a few hours. I'll try to keep you updated."
" Thank you Carson." Elizabeth said.
Carson gave a small smile before walking away to prep for surgery.
Elizabeth turned to John, " You think Rodney will be alright?"
John sighed as he watched Rodney be wheeled away, " I don't know Elizabeth."
** 2 Hours Later**
John, Elizabeth, Teyla and Ford, both had been woken up an hour before, sat in the makeshift waiting room waiting for news on Rodney's condition. It was another hour before Carson came out of the OR, followed by an unconscious Rodney who was being moved into recovery.
" How did it go Carson?" asked John, worried about his friend.
" We were able to stop the bleeding. What ever they gave him must have worked its way out of his system. I believe that if he hadn't kept wrapping it up he would have bled out. I'm going to have the lab keep working on the composition of the chemical he was given and I'm still going to want to give him an antidote just to be on the safe side."
Carson sat down in one of the remaining chairs and started to explain Rodney's injuries.
" Rodney has a 6 inch laceration on his right forearm. The cut was made so as to not impede on his ability to use it. There was some nerve and muscle damage but he should regain complete use of his arm with a few rounds of physical therapy. When we were in their we found that three of his ribs were broken and one punctured his lung. We had to go in and repair it. His breathing sounds a little rough so we have him on oxygen, but there was almost no fluid in his lungs. As long as he gets plenty of rest it'll heal just fine. Do any of you have any idea how this happened?"
" When we were at the grounding station Koyla shoved Rodney against the railing pretty hard. I didn't think it caused any damage but apparently I was wrong." Elizabeth asked.
Carson shook his head, " That would explain some of the bruising on his back but not the broken ribs or the rest of the bruising. Unless he was shoved extremely hard."
" I can take a look at the security tapes from the control room. Find out if Kolya did something else." John said.
" That would be helpful." Carson said. " The biggest worry I have right now is the infection in his arm. What ever is causing it, isn't responding to any of our antibiotics. I hope we only have to find the right combination of antibiotics to fight it off, in the meantime Rodney is suffering from a dangerously high fever."
" What's his temperature doc?" asked Ford.
" 104.5. If it gets any higher then we could be looking at potential brain damage." Carson said, his voice heavy with regret. " I'm already worried about him suffering from seizures, we're keeping a close eye on him for any sign that he may be having one."
" Can we see him Carson?" John wanted to go in there and make sure he was going to be okay. Rodney could be a pain in the ass but John had come to think of him as a friend.
Carson nodded, " Yes. You can stay as long as your all quiet. I think knowing your with him will help. We've put him in a less busy section of the infirmary. Hopefully that will keep people from bothering him to much."
They followed him to a less used section of the infirmary but it was still close to Carson's office. Rodney's bed was surrounded by various machines that were helping him fight the infection. What they could see of his chest and torso, was wrapped tightly in bandages. His injured arm had been left uncovered and had a long, neat row of stitches. Even from far away John could see that it was still red and inflamed, a sure sign of infection. His forehead was covered in a layer of sweat and his cheeks were flushed with fever. A dark bruise stretched across the left side of his face, from his cheek to his eye.
" He'll be asleep for most of the day. If he happens to wake up sooner come get me or if he gets worse."
Elizabeth nodded, " Of course Carson."
All four pulled chairs up next to the bed and sat, keeping vigil over their friend.
The next 24 hours were tough on everyone but more so on Rodney. He slept for most of it, the only noise that came from him were mumbled apologies and pleas to stop. It wasn't difficult to figure out he was reliving his torture in his sleep. After dinner had passed and no one had gone to the mess hall to eat, Carson kicked everyone out telling them not to return until they had eaten something and gotten actual rest. Everyone but John had listened. He had come back immediately after finishing eating and had stayed by Rodney's side, comforting him after particularly hard nightmares. There were a few times where he briefly regained consciousness, but it was nothing more then him cracking his eyes open before falling back into oblivion.
John was starting to become worried but Carson said he would need time, Rodney had just been through a very traumatizing experience and would need time to come to grips with it. The only good news was that Carson had finally been able to come up with a cocktail that had successfully started to fight Rodney's infection and it had finally started to come down. He'd also given Rodney a drug to counteract the blood thinner he'd been given.
That night once again saw John sitting next to Rodney's bedside, reading. Carson had dimmed the lights but allowed enough light for John to read by and left for his office. He wanted to stay close to Rodney incase something went wrong.
John was engrossed in his book that he didn't notice Rodney start to move around but a hoarse voice caught his attention, " Major?"
John's head shot up and he found himself looking into half lidded, dull blue eyes. John set his book in his lap and gave Rodney a small smile.
" Hey Rodney." he said softly. " How do you feel?"
Rodney blinked a few times, " Crappy. What happened?"
" Elizabeth told us what Kolya did to you and when we realized that you hadn't been to the infirmary Carson and I went to your room. We found you unconscious and Carson brought you back here. You had to have surgery done to repair the damage Kolya did to your arm and you have three broken ribs, one of which punctured your left lung." John explained, carefully watching Rodney's reaction. " You've been suffering from a high fever for the last day, your arm was infected."
Rodney seemed to take a minute to absorb what he'd been told.
" Oh. Why are you here?" asked Rodney.
John seemed surprised at the question. " I'm here because I'm worried about you. Rodney you could've died form blood loss if Carson and I hadn't found you when we had. It's not like you to just ignore something that serious."
" I didn't want to bother anyone." whispered Rodney.
John looked at him, " Bother? Rodney your not a bother. Why would you say that?"
Rodney looked up to him, his eyes filled with guilt and regret, " I almost got everyone killed. I should have been able to keep my mouth shut."
" Is this about what Kolya did?" John asked. " I saw the security video from the control center. I saw what Kolya's men did to you. It wasn't your fault."
It was true, it wasn't Rodney's fault. John had sat in his rarely used office and watched the video showing Kolya take a knife to Rodney's arm until he lay in crumbled heap on the ground, bleeding. He'd then watched as Kolya allowed the two Genii soldiers to kick Rodney around his midsection. He knew where Rodney had gotten his broken ribs from. The video didn't have sound and John had been glad. He didn't want to hear Rodney's cries or Kolya's threats.
" Yes it was." Rodney struggled to push himself up but only succeeded in causing himself more pain. " If I had just kept quiet. I'm sorry Major, I should have tried harder." his breathing was starting to become erratic.
John saw that Rodney was close to hyperventilating and grabbed his chin forcing Rodney to look him in the eye. Rodney stared at him with wide panicky eyes.
" Rodney you need to calm down. Your going to hurt yourself further and get Carson out here." John was keeping his voice calm but forceful. " Breath with me Rodney." John took deep, exaggerated breaths trying to get Rodney to breath with him.
It took a while but soon Rodney listened to John and started taking deep shuddering breaths. He soon had his breathing under control. Rodney collapsed back against the pillows, suddenly exhausted.
" You okay?" asked John, looking like he wanted to call Carson out of his office. Rodney nodded and John retook his seat. " Rodney I want you to listen carefully to what I'm going to say. It wasn't your fault that you told Kolya the plans to save the city. He tortured and beat you. Most people would have told him what he wanted with just a couple of threats but you didn't. You held out as long as you could. You did good Rodney."
Rodney shook his head in denial, " No I didn't. I should've been stronger. I should've been more like you. You never would have given in."
Now it was Johns turn to shake his head. " You're wrong there Rodney. I have talked before. It took them a few days to break me but eventually I talked. I'm trained for this stuff, you're not. You did the best you could, no is going to blame you for this."
" What about Carson and Teyla?" Rodney said brokenly. " I almost got them killed because I couldn't wait two fucking minutes."
" Hey, hey, hey." John soothed. " You'd just been tortured and were under a lot of stress because of it and the storm. So you had to be reminded, it doesn't mean you failed."
" John's right." Carson said as he walked up and stood on Rodney's other side. Rodney turned his head slowly and looked up at Carson. " You did fine Rodney. Most wouldn't have made it like you did. You stepped in front of a gun for Elizabeth not once but twice and were able to save the city. You did good. Now start believing it."
Rodney looked down at his hands. He wanted to believe them but to many times in his past had he done that only to end up hurt in the end.
" You listening to us Rodney?" John asked, worried for his friend.
Rodney ignored the question, " Can I just be alone right now?" he asked, looking anywhere but at John and Carson. " I just want to get some rest. I still don't feel to good."
John and Carson looked at each other, if Rodney was voluntarily saying he didn't feel good, something really was wrong.
" Yeah I'll be back to talk to you later." John stood up. " Feel better Rodney."
Carson picked up a syringe from the tray next to him and injected it into Rodney's IV, " This will help you sleep."
Rodney blinked slowly before he quickly slipped into unconsciousness. He was glad he was able to leave everything behind, if only for a little while.
Carson looked down at his friend, " Rodney what did they you do?" he whispered softly. Wondering if the man in front of him would ever be the same again.