You've Got to be Kidding
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of it's characters...all characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto...except Leon, Tenshi, and Sparta...they belong to me...
Happy Thanksgiving!
"He's late," the blonde boy muttered, turning his attention to his two teammates.
The girl lowered her medical text book and raised an eyebrow at his crossed arms and pouting cheeks. "And this surprises you why, Naruto?" she asked.
He sighed, "Yeah...you're right. But seriously! He tells us to come early because of some important mission, and he's the one thats late! I swear Sakura, if we all showed up five hours late, Kakashi Sensei still wouldn't be here!"
"Yeah, but we've done this for years. Gets us ready for the challenge I guess," Sakura shrugged.
Naruto blinked and turned to the other member of his team. "Gosh Sasuke, you don't have to glare at me! Just because Sakura has the hots for me and not you doesn't mean..."
"Yo!" a voice interrupted.
The three teenagers turned their attention to the new arrival.
"You're late Kakashi Sensei!" Naruto pointed out, growling inwardly at the grey-haired man.
"Well you see, there was this squirrel..."
"Save it Sensei!" Sakura shouted, closing her book and scowling. "Just give us the mission already."
Kakashi smirked behind his mask, and began walking away from his students, hands in his pockets and whistling while he walked.
Naruto's blue eyes widened. "Wait! Whats the freakin mission?"
Sasuke rolled his obsidian eyes at his idiotic teammate who tugged continuously at his Sensei's vest. He sighed loudly in frustration, causing his pink-haired companion beside him to giggle at his antics.
Three hours later...
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Naruto repeated.
"Would you shut up already!" Sasuke growled, throwing his hands into the air in frustration.
Naruto ignored his outburst and continued, "Are we there yet?"
"Oh for the love of God!"
"Calm down Sasuke."
"Are we there yet?"
"Thats it!"
"No! Sasuke don't!"
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Help!"
"We're here," Kakashi smiled, turning around to inform his students. His eyes widened at the tangled sight before him. Naruto was struggling on the ground, Sasuke was choking him, and Sakura was trying in vain to pull the angry Uchiha off the annoying blonde. Kakashi's eyes relaxed. It wasn't nothing he hadn't already seen. This usually happened on a daily basis.
Kakashi lazily pulled out his favorite perverted novel, and layed himself down next to a tree until his students solved their own predicament.
Twenty minutes later, a beaten Naruto limped infront of Kakashi, and cleared his throat.
"What's the mission Sensei?" he pouted, sticking his tongue out at the victorious Sasuke who stood smirking beside him.
Kakashi quickly tucked his book away, and pointed behind him at a small cottage. "Your mission will take place there for the next twenty-four hours," he explained, eyeing the three teenagers infront of him.
Sakura glanced at the cottage and then back up at her Sensei. "Our mission? What about you?" she questioned, propping her hands on her hips and looking at him with curiosity.
"I'm leaving," was all Kakashi said before vanishing in a small cloud of smoke.
The three teenagers were left to gawk at the empty spot where their perverted Sensei had once stood.
"Who agrees that Kakashi is a total jerk?" Naruto asked, raising his hand into the air for his own vote.
Sakura sighed, "Come on Naruto." She grabbed the boy's arm and tugged him toward the cottage's small white door.
"Wait Sakura! We must scan the perimeter first! Who knows what cruel evils may be hiding - ow!" Naruto bellowed, rubbing his sore head. He looked up at the snickering Sasuke.
"I will get you back Uchiha!" he growled, stomping over to the door and cracking it open. He glanced from side to side and then waved for his other two comrades to follow him inside. "Wow! Look at the size of this place! It looks so tiny from the outside, but inside its huge!" Naruto announced loudly.
Sakura slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes. If there were any enemies around, they definitely knew Naruto was here.
"Shut up you loser."
"And he can talk!"
"I'm gonna kill you."
"Bring it on!"
"Will you two both be quiet!" Sakura demanded, glaring at both boys.
"He started it," Naruto grumbled, kicking a soccer ball that was lying unoccupied on the floor. The ball soared through the air and landed in the kitchen, knocking over a vase and shattering it.
Sakura and Sasuke turned to glare at the blonde-haired boy. He put his hands infront of his face, and backed away slowly.
"Naruto I swear, one day you're going to get us all killed," Sakura complained, walking into the kitchen to clean up the mess. Sasuke just glared, then followed his pink-haired teammate into the kitchen.
Naruto sighed, "Well on a lighter note, do either one of you know what our mission is yet?"
Sakura was about to open her mouth when a shreiking cry sounded from upstairs. She quickly handed the broom to Sasuke and bolted up the stairs and towards the cries. Sasuke immediately handed the broom to Naruto and walked over to the counter where a small piece of paper lay. The Uchiha picked it up and read the following out loud to his diluted teammate:
Dear Konoha Shinobi,
I appreciate the fact that you have taken up this mission for me. Both of my children are asleep upstairs. Their names are Tenshi and Leon. They will be no trouble whatsoever. They absolutely love ninja. Once again I thank you for what you are doing. It's so hard to find a babysitter for them.
Thank you all,
Miyuki
"Babysitting! Our 'important' mission was babysitting!" Naruto shouted, throwing the broom down angrily.
"Shut up before you make her start crying again!" Sakura scolded. Naruto turned around to see Sakura holding a pink bundle in her arms. He rushed to her side to glance at the tiny baby. Sasuke approached the two with a sigh and handed Sakura the note. "So her name is Tenshi," Sakura smiled, glancing quickly over the small piece of paper.
"Then who's Leon?" Naruto questioned, glancing around the house.
"Apparently this is," Sasuke stated, causing both Naruto and Sakura to turn toward him. He pointed down, and sure enough, a small brown-haired boy had wrapped himself tightly around the Uchiha's leg.
"This is ridiculous! Babysitting! I don't even like kids!" Naruto scowled, sticking his bottom lip out and plopping down on the sofa.
"That's cause you are one," Sasuke smirked, causing Naruto to erupt into a shouting fit.
"I'll show you Sasuke!"
"I'd love to see you try!"
"Well you're fixing to see it first hand!"
"Bring it on Uzumaki!"
"That is enough!" Sakura shouted, stomping her foot down so hard that the floor beneath her shoe cracked. Both boys stopped dead and their tracks, and quickly stopped arguing. Leon giggled at the two older boys before him.
"What are you laughing at kid!" Naruto yelled, glaring at the small boy. Just then, the blonde-haired infant in Sakura's arms erupted into tears.
"Naruto you idiot!" Sakura screamed, trying to calm the crying infant down. The little boy tugged on Sakura's khaki skirt and pointed toward his mouth while his tiny sister continued to scream. "Naruto! Make Tenshi a bottle! Sasuke! You feed Leon!" the kunoichi of Team 7 announced. After giving her orders she briskly walked back up the stairs and into the baby's room.
Naruto then turned to Sasuke, "I have no clue how to make a bottle!"
"Well, I don't know how to feed the kid," the Uchiha stated.
"I know! Lets switch! You make the bottle and I'll feed the kid," Naruto announced happily.
Sasuke didn't reply but walked to the fridge and pulled out the liquid baby formula. Naruto opened the cabinet and grabbed a can of baby carrots. Sasuke mixed the bottle while Naruto tried desperately to open the can of baby food. They both walked up the stairs at the same time.
Opening the door, they found Sakura trying to quiet a screaming baby and comfort a hungry toddler.
"Here."
Sakura grabbed the bottle from her raven-haired companion and began to feed the starving baby.
"Open up for the train!" Naruto smiled happily. The little boy grinned and popped open his mouth, anticipated the food awaiting him on the spoon. "Man, do I have some food you need to try," Naruto explained, looking at the mashed up baby carrots with disgust.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the three teenagers got the two little ones to go back to sleep. That's when Sakura began making her and her teammates their own lunch. Babysitting was definitely an exhausting job and they needed the food to replenish their energy.
"Go dude go! Aw, come on! What kind of throw was that! My grandmother could throw better than you! Atleast I think she could..." Naruto shouted, watching a football game on the television in the livingroom. Sasuke layed motionless on the couch beside Naruto's recliner. Sakura just continued mixing Naruto's ramen noodles, pouring them into three individual bowls and laughing at the blonde's continuous shouting. "Thanks Sakura!" he announced proudly, slurping the noodles down his throat. Sasuke sat up to give Sakura a seat on the couch.
The three were silent, aside from Naruto's loud slurping, until a soft 'purr' found its way into Sakura's ears. She turned and grinned, "Awww its a cat!" Sasuke's stoic expression turned to nervousness. She read it's collar out loud, "Sparta."
Sasuke stood from his seat and walked quickly to the kitchen and away from the calico cat in the livingroom, which was currently occupying his previous spot on the couch. He was about to open the fridge door when the screaming baby could be heard again upstairs. Sakura stood and made her way to the baby's room. As she dissappeared, the cat made its way into the kitchen.
Naruto slurped down his last remaining noodle and prepared himself to stand, but a small, dark figure blocked his path. He blinked, "Leon? What are you doing awake? And ummm, what are you planning to do with those peas?"
Naruto's sudden cry made Sasuke shut the fridge door and raise an eyebrow in question.
"Help me! Sasuke! Sakura! Anyone!"
The Uchiha turned to go help his moronic bestfriend, but was stopped by the purring cat perched on the marble countertop.
Sakura rolled her eyes at Naruto's shouts from downstairs. She picked up the baby from it's crib and walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Sasuke, whats wrong with Naru-...Sasuke?" she questioned. The boy was frozen with wide eyes as the small cat approached him.
Sakura gently put Tenshi on the floor and removed the cat from Sasuke's line of vision. "You never told me you were scared of cats? Something that came from living with Orochimaru for three years?" she grinned up at him, knowing she hit a nerve with that question.
He frowned, "I'm not scared of cats."
She rolled her eyes and turned around, but stopped when she saw Tenshi holding the liquid baby formula tightly in her hands. "Tenshi, how did you get that?" Sakura hesitantly asked, but she was interrupted by Naruto's booming voice.
"Everyone run! Its the peas!" the blonde shouted, tripping over the broom that he had earlier laid helplessly on the floor.
Milk splashed against the window and peas were pelted across the room. A crash was heard from the kitchen and the shrieking cat scurried across the hall.
The three teenagers stood in shock as the event known as 'babysitting' truly unfolded.
"These kids are demons! No wonder she couldn't find a babysitter!" Naruto shouted, diving behind the couch as Leon threw another handful of peas at the blonde.
"Tenshi, hand me the milk...Aaaaaah!" Sakura screamed as the blonde baby squirted her in the face. Sasuke, who was standing behind her, couldn't help but laugh, earning himself a surprised look from the kunoichi.
He stopped laughing the minute the frightened cat jumped onto his head, trying desperately to escape all the drama.
"Sparta!" Sakura shouted, grabbing the cat and putting it back onto the floor, where it scurried off to find another hiding place once again.
"Sasuke! Stop flirting with my woman and stop this crazy munchkin!" Naruto shouted, holding up a pillow in defense.
Sasuke huffed but approached the toddler. "Hey! Kid! Stop throwing peas at my idiotic of a loser friend!" Sasuke yelled, making the boy tear up.
"Sasuke!" Sakura instantly scolded. She came to stand beside the boy, but Naruto didn't miss the evil look in the small boy's eyes.
"Run! He's gonna blow!" The peas that splattered onto Sakura's face and Sasuke's chest was evidence enough that Naruto's cries had been in vain.
"Thats it! Come here you little brat!" Sasuke shouted, running after the laughing boy.
"No! Tenshi don't!"
Naruto turned to see Sakura catch the falling vase. "How did she get up there?" he questioned. Sakura shrugged her shoulders and suddenly tripped over the scared cat that was being chased by Leon. "Where did Sasuke go?" Naruto questioned again.
The front door slamming open and a soaking wet Sasuke answered his question.
"Don't even ask," the Uchiha mumbled.
"Aaaaaaahhhhh! They're alive!" Sakura screamed, jumping onto the couch next to Naruto.
Naruto turned his attention to where she pointed. "Oh my God! They have hampsters! And they're loose!" the blonde panicked.
"Leon!" Sasuke shouted, as he bolted up the stairs to grab the boy dangling from the edge of the stair rails.
"Tenshi! No! The cat doesn't go in the oven!" yelled Sakura.
Naruto grabbed the many hampsters using his shadow clones for help and quickly threw them into a cookie jar for the time being. "These kids are monsters! Monsters I tell ya!" he shouted, pulling at his blonde hair in the process.
Sakura gently put the cat down on the floor and away from the oven, but when she turned to grab for Tenshi, the baby had disappeared once more. "Oh great..." she mumbled, scrambling to her feet and dashing into the livingroom to look for the escaped infant.
"Leon down! Get down! Get off the ceiling fan!" Naruto begged, jumping pathetically up and down tryin to reach the toddler, but failing miserably.
"I can get him down," Sasuke smirked, walking over to the switch to turn the fan on.
"Sasuke no!" Sakura shouted, but it was to no avail. The Uchiha flipped the switch and the fan immediately began spinning, sending the boy soaring threw the air and into Sasuke's awaiting arms.
"Told ya," he smirked again.
"Sakura! The baby!" Naruto yelled, pointing somewhere behind Sakura's head. She turned just in time to see Tenshi on top of the counter, a ceramic plate held tightly in her palm. The baby almost seemed to laugh at them as it loosened it's hold on the object, allowing it to slip through her stubby fingers and head directly toward the floor.
"Noooooooooooooo!" Naruto shouted, diving seemingly in slow motion to grab the plate in time. He smiled his cheeky grin when he successfully caught the plate. Sakura dashed over to the counter and scooped the baby into her arms, letting out a sigh as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.
"Hah! I saved the plate Sasuke and you didn't!"
"Whatever you loser."
"You're just jealous because I finally beat you at something!"
"Whatever."
"Just admit I'm the coolest person you know!"
"No."
"Fine, you're just mad because I'm special."
"That you are Naruto, that you are."
"Hah! See! You admitted it!"
"You really are clueless..."
Naruto scratched his head in confusion, but shrugged it off and gently put the plate back where it belonged.
Sasuke sat Leon on the couch with a scowl and stood in his path to prevent him from escaping once more.
Sakura took Tenshi upstairs and layed her down in her crib, singing her a soft lullaby until she closed her blue eyes, and fell into a peaceful sleep.
Naruto flipped through the channels on the television, but quickly had to stop when he went to get the cat away from the squeaking cookie jar.
Sakura came back down the stairs and met Sasuke at the bottom. " I can't do this anymore," she sighed.
Naruto came back from the kitchen and switched off the television. "Storytime little man," Naruto smiled, lifting the boy up and taking him to his room, Sasuke and Sakura close behind him just incase he needed backup. The blonde pulled down the boy's Spongebob bed covers and lifted him into his race car bed. "Ok! Once upon a time, there was this super, awesome, cool ninja. And nobody could ever defeat him," Naruto began. The little boy's eyes widened in amazement.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and decided to intervene with Naruto's story. "Except a certain 'last Uchiha' who kicked the super, awesome, cool ninja's butt on a daily basis," Sasuke smirked. Sakura giggled from the doorway.
"Errrrrr...Sasuke! Your ruining my story!" Naruto growled, crossing his arms and poking out his bottom lip for the second time that night.
Finally...after another thirty minutes of storytime, each time ending with Sasuke making Naruto mad, Leon fell alseep.
Team 7 took this time to clean the house spotless and even gave Sparta a bath, which resulted in Naruto getting soaked, Sasuke getting scratched, and Sakura laughing hysterically.
But after a long days work had come to an end, all three team members fell alseep instantly. Sasuke uncontiously wrapping his arms around Sakura, and Naruto sucking his thumb and snoring.
Kakashi's arrival the next day was a very interesting one. He laughed as he watched his growing and recently restored team sleep.
But one questioned remained in Kakashi's head even after they had all returned home to Konoha.
Why were there hampsters in the cookie jar?
A/N: Happy Thanksgiving! I know I'm a day late but who isn't busy on Thanksgiving day? This is just a little idea I had in my head for awhile now and I figured submitting it for the Thanksgiving holidays would be perfect. Oh, and by the way, the kitten used in this story is my cat lol. I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are like the coolest thing on earth, so hit me up please! ;D