Hi y'all! I'm Marie, the author of this most likely sucky Moby-Dick fanfiction. It's the classic story, retold by the White Whale himself. Warning... Moby is an angst-ridden leviathan with a bit of a nasty mouth. Viewer discretion is advised, if you really care. It's got some Ishmael/Queequeg action, some Stubb/Flask (am I the only one who loves them as a couple?), and plenty of Ahab-psychoticness. Of course, I don't own the book, so all credit to the amazing Herman Melville himself for writing one of the best books on this planet. I love you, Hermy. When I get to heaven one day, I shall kiss your feet in thanks. Well, with that clear... Forth with the story!
Call me Moby-Dick. Or just Moby, that's better. Yeah, I'm the White Whale, the dreaded Leviathan, or whatever the hell Ahab's christened me. People say I'm evil. I'm a ruthless killer with no regard for human life. Not exactly. It's not that simple. I'm an outcast from the other whales with no entertainment. That's why I go attack people. I'm bored and full of angst. At least I'm not a liar. Damn right I tore off Ahab's leg. Should've torn off the other one too, when I had the chance.
The book is named for ME. Moby-Dick. That's ME, bitches. Not that punk-ass Ishmael kid who narrates the book like HE owns it. Since I'm the star, I'll tell you how the story really happened.
You may be wondering how I can know the story, being in the world wide ocean and all. Well, I followed the Pequod throughout the voyage. And how I know the parts that happened on land? I'm Moby-friggin'-Dick. I have sources. I know these things. I know where you sleep.
Okay. That was just weird. In an effort to creep you out any less than I already have, let's start the story, shall we?