Sirius tossed the ball to his godson with a grin. Harry caught the ball as his father cheered from the park bench he was seated on next to Harry's mother. Harry was two years old and this was his birthday.

Harry, with some effort, tossed it back to Sirius who had to bend over to catch it.

"Good job, lad!" Sirius said then added, "He's getting strong! What've you and Lily been feeding him, James?"

"I think Lily is sneaking him magic beans or something when I'm not looking. I'm going to have him playing football by the time he's five!" James said.

Sirius glanced at Lily who had put down her mobile and was now giving James a bemused look.

"What?" James said and laughed.

"Football at five? Don't be daft. And I don't know why you're blaming me for him being strong. He takes after you!" Lily said then laughed.

"I think he's got more of you in him that you care to admit," James said, staring at his wife with love.

Sirius groaned.

"The man worships the very ground you walk on. It's disgusting, isn't," Sirius said with a wink, then tossed the ball back to Harry.

"I could say the same thing about you and Remus," Lily said, winking in return.

Sirius felt his face warm with embarrassment.

"Did I just make Sirius Black blush?" Lily said then lightly bumped her shoulder into James's.

"Yeah," James said, stroking his chin with a dark hand.

"Where is Remus, anyhow?" Lily asked as Harry ran at his godfather's legs.

Sirius fell back laughing and grabbed the boy. Harry giggled and made happy sounds.

"I'm not sure. He should be here soon. I sent him a text an hour ago telling him where we were," Sirius said and clutched his godson to his chest and held him tightly for a moment.

He then lifted the boy up. At two years old he already looked so much like his father aside from the green eyes he had clearly inherited from his mother.

"What about Pete?" Sirius called out.

"Peter did say he would be here, albeit a little late," James answered.

"I'm here!" a voice called out.

Sirius looked over and saw their friend Peter standing there smiling.

"Hello, Pete," Sirius said.

"Sorry, I'm late," Peter said.

"Not a problem, Pete. Come sit down with me and Lily," James said and Peter quickly obliged him.

Harry lay on Sirius's chest and he looked around at his friends. The only one missing was Remus. Just then Harry grabbed some of Sirius's long black hair and pulled.

"Ow! Why you little rascal!" Sirius said and laughed which made Harry stop and laugh. Harry then hopped off Sirius's chest and ran over to his parents.

"Mummy!" Harry shouted.

Lily grabbed Harry up and kissed him on his forehead then James leaned over and did the same.

Just then Sirius noticed Remus was standing over him. Weird that no one else was reacting.

"Sirius," Remus whispered.

"Yes?" Sirius said.

"Sirius, I need you to wake up," Remus said and suddenly things were dark and fuzzy but Remus was still standing over him.

Sirius realised with regret that he'd only been dreaming. Sirius reached over and haphazardly turned on a lamp. He rubbed his eyes then looked up at Remus. His brown eyes were red and puffy. He'd been crying! Remus hardly ever cried.

"Remus, what's the matter?" Sirius said, feeling his heart begin to pound and his fingers begin to tremble.

Remus looked down in regret, clearly struggling to find words.

"James and Lily… they're dead. I'm sorry. So sorry," Remus said, his voice quavering.

"Dead? What do you mean dead?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. James and Lily are dead," Remus said and then crouched down and put a hand on Sirius's bare shoulder.

Sirius felt numb and confused. Surely, he was misunderstanding, somehow. But Remus's eyes bore out the truth.

"What happened?" Sirius pleaded, feeling his eyes becoming watery and a sudden nauseous sensation.

"Car crash. Drunk driver," Remus replied.

Sirius detected the slightest twinge of anger in Remus's voice.

"Oh God, Harry. What about Harry?" Sirius pleaded, his mind quickly being consumed by the horrible thought that his godson, who was in reality only fifteen months old, could have come to harm.

"He's fine, though they wouldn't tell me much over the phone. I don't really believe in miracles but… this might qualify," Remus answered and squeezed Sirius's shoulder in comfort.

Sirius felt his body begin to shake, and hot tears streamed down his face. Sobbing he leaned over and wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him tightly.

"I don't understand," Sirius cried.

"Me either," Remus said, and stroked Sirius's bare back affectionately.

Sirius wept hard in Remus's arms. He felt overwhelmed by the sheer force of his grief, like the entire universe had been stripped away leaving only his loss. Desperately, he clung to Remus, the only thing he had left. Well… not the only thing.

There was still Harry.

Remus sat alone at his and Sirius's dining room table with a cup of tea that was rapidly growing cold. He had been unable to sleep and now the sun was rising. Sirius had cried off and on for a couple of hours before falling asleep in Remus's arms. Remus had lain there just listening to Sirius's soft snores.

He tried to let his mind wrap around the idea that James and Lily were gone. But every time he let his mind believe it, he could feel the pain rising through his body, crushing him. It was like the ghost of every memory of the two of them was threatening to haunt his every waking moment if he would let it.

So Remus decided not to think about it at all. Instead, he focused on the pending matter of Harry. Sirius was Harry's godfather but this in no way granted him legal rights to Harry. No, he supposed Harry would go to Lily's sister Petunia and her dreadful husband, Vernon Dursley.

He knew Sirius would want to fight for Harry, but Remus knew a couple of gay men would have no chance against a straight couple, let alone one that was actually Harry's legal family. By law a same-sex couple could adopt in the United Kingdom now, and he and Sirius could adopt if they wanted. They had talked about it often. But adopting Harry was simply a different matter entirely. They couldn't just go to Social Services and ask them to hand him over.

Remus shuddered at the thought of leaving Harry with the Dursleys, however, and he knew that Sirius would like the idea even less. The worst thing was that the Dursleys would shut them out of Harry's life entirely. If Remus could find a way to stop that from happening he would, for not only their sake but James and Lily's as well.

But there was nothing Remus could do to stop them from gaining custody of Harry. He sighed and took a sip of cold tea. At least Earl Grey tasted all right cold, he thought. Remus snickered despite himself as he remembered how much James hated Earl Grey.

It's too flowery, James had claimed. I don't want to drink something that tastes like ruddy flowers! Remus thought Earl Grey had more of a citrus taste than anything else. He took another sip. Lily on the other hand loved Earl Grey though she insisted on adding milk to it which Remus didn't understand. All it needed was a little honey and it was perfect, assuming you didn't overbrew it.

Remus took another sip of the tea and then it was gone. He looked down at the empty cup. It was not at all dissimilar to how he felt. He chided himself for being so cliche, but it was true. He had briefly cried in private after he had received the call before steeling himself to tell Sirius. But since then all he'd felt was numb and empty. He never knew how grief would feel. Others around him had suffered at times but Remus had never been forced to deal with it himself.

Remus wished he could weep like Sirius had wept and get it all out. But he had trained himself to hold it all in, long ago. He had been bullied relentlessly as a young man at the academy he attended by a boy named Severus Snape. Remus learned to guard his emotions to prove that Snape's taunts and homophobic slurs didn't get to him.

Lily Evans was Snape's best friend, well, at least until she realized how badly Snape had been bullying him. When they were twelve Lily befriended Remus as a way of apology for not seeing how Snape had been treating him. They quickly became best friends.

The following year, Sirius Black had arrived as well as Peter Pettigrew later in the year and they both became friends. Remus had fallen for Sirius quickly. He was tall, dark haired, and handsome. Sirius had a wicked smile and princely good looks. He was sarcastic and sort of a charming arsehole.

Remus had assumed Sirius was straight just like all the other boys and he put his crush out of his mind. And anyway, Remus had thought himself hideous, on account of the scarring on his face.

It wasn't until the summer they were both sixteen when Remus and Sirius finally made their feelings for each other known. All these years later, they had never parted. They'd had their share of fights from time to time but things always worked out. Remus knew in his heart that if the law allowed it he and Sirius would be married now.

James Potter was Sirius's best friend from the moment Sirius arrived at the academy. James had arrived the year after Remus started. Their friend group slowly pulled together as Remus drew near Sirius and James befriended Peter. James began dating Lily around the same time that Remus and Sirius began dating. It was a magical summer.

As the years passed the bond between them all only grew stronger. Sure, Peter had seemed distracted these last few years, what with his mother's apparent poor health and his elusive girlfriend, Madeleine Yaxley, but they had all always remained close.

Remus made a groan which became a yawn. He supposed at this point he might as well take a shower and prepare for whatever would happen next.

Showers had once been a thing of great fear and stress for Remus. But as he stepped out of the shower, dripping with water and reaching for a towel, he glanced over at the mirror, seeing the great scar that ran diagonally across his face and the the other scars that were scattered across his torso, he felt almost nothing but the tiniest twinge of past pain.

When he was six years old he had been kidnapped and held in a basement, alone with the man's wolfdog. When Remus tried to escape the wolfdog attacked him. The sounds of the dog and Remus's screams had alerted people nearby and they called the police.

After that, Remus's memories became more fuzzy. He knew he was in the hospital for a while and he knew that the man got away. The house where he kept Remus was not his own and they found no way of identifying him. In theory, he was still out there somewhere, assuming he was never caught for a different crime.

As a teenager, Remus had thought he was hideous but Sirius Black had never cared. He made Remus feel attractive in a way he never believed was possible. Even now Sirius's love and devotion sustained him and made him feel whole.

After he dried himself and dressed he went back out into the rest of the flat. Sirius was awake and seated on their couch. He looked miserable.

"I called and asked about the funeral. It's tomorrow," Sirius said.

Remus nodded and sat down to comfort his boyfriend.

October 11, 2000

Lily hadn't moved for an hour. Remus was certain of it. He had been watching. Lily was sitting on the sofa in James's living room, looking at her hands. James was in the kitchen, probably preparing tea. Remus desperately wished he knew what to say to Lily. But he hadn't known what to say when Sirius's cat died, how could he possibly know how to comfort Lily after the death of her father.

Remus had been fond of her father. He had been an easy-going chap. No one had suspected that anything was wrong with his health but he had been hiding his heart troubles apparently. It was a bloody awful shame.

Remus tried to remember if he had ever known anyone else who had died. He supposed he had not. He felt sad about the death of Harlow Evans but right now he needed to bury that and focus on his best friend's grief.

Remus stood up and went over to Lily, sitting next to her in silence. Lily glanced at him. Her face was red and puffy. She had cried so hard for so long. He wondered how her mother was doing right now. He hoped she wasn't alone.

"You can touch me," Lily said, her voice sounding ragged.

"Huh?" Remus said.

"You can touch me. I won't break," she repeated.

Remus wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her. He hadn't been afraid to touch her, he realised. He was afraid for her to touch him. He didn't realise until this moment. It was death. Death hung upon her and in a bizarre way he felt like it would come off her and get on him.

Remus felt angry at himself. It was like he thought he would somehow spread it like a virus. He would take it home and give it to his parents or his sister. No… he didn't really think that. But it was a primal sort of fear. The fear of death was always there.

A moment later, James returned with tea for the three of them. Sirius and Peter were on the way.

"Cheers," Lily said as James set the tea tray on the coffee table.

Remus wondered if he should move aside for James but neither he nor James seemed concerned.

"Dad didn't like tea. Mum told him he should be kicked out of England with talk like that. He loved his coffee though, my dad did," Lily said, her voice choking.

Remus rubbed her back, wishing he knew how to stop the pain. But that wasn't how it worked. The pain would fade with time. Lily would heal. She would move on but never forget. And she would always love her father.

The funeral was a solemn, closed casket affair. Many people they went to school with turned up, including Severus Snape. Sirius tried not to stare at him and sneer. What did that git think he was doing here? Was he still pining after Lily after all these years? Why couldn't he let it go?

Peter was there and he and Remus greeted him. Peter looked broken and distraught. Sirius wondered if he looked as bad as Peter did. Was Remus really having to watch him suffer this greatly?

A social worker was there with Harry. Sirius had wanted desperately to go over and see the lad but thought it might be better not to, even if it might be his last chance. Soon Harry would be whisked away to stay with the Dursleys and he might never see him again. Strangely, the Dursleys weren't there today. He assumed they would be eager to get their hands on Harry and the small fortune James's parents had left him.

Sirius had asked the vicar beforehand if he could read a eulogy for James and Lily and was allowed. He had written it in haste the night before. It wasn't very long, regretfully, but as James's best friend he felt he should say something.

He stood before the crowd of mourners, his hands trembling with the paper on which he had scrawled the speech flapping in the cool autumn breeze. Amazingly, it was not raining in Manchester that day.

"I met James Potter here at school in Manchester in 1997. We were both from London but we didn't know each other. London's large, you see," Sirius started.

His voice was shaky and he could hear it but was trying to ignore it. He looked over at Remus, looking austere as his honey brown hair fluttered in the breeze. Remus nodded at Sirius to keep going.

"Though my family are wealthy and well-known, I never had that many friends as a child, if I'm being honest. James may have been the first real friend I ever had. He approached me on day one at the academy. He invited me to meet his parents who were the most amazing people, God rest their souls."

Sirius didn't believe in God and yet he had written that line into the eulogy. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps, it sounded nice.

"When James began dating Lily, I had worried that I had lost him but the truth was…" Sirius broke off to choke back a sob then continued, his voice shakier than ever, "the truth was I had only gained another amazing friend, one so kind and tolerant that I will forever be in awe of her."

Sirius could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks and nodded to the crowd. His eulogy complete he walked over to Remus who held his hand tightly. Sirius looked around to see if anyone noticed or cared but no one seemed to.

January 14, 2002

James looked around sadly. Sirius had never been able to find the right words to say ever since James's parents had died. Even now that he was leaving their home for the last time, having just sold it.

James removed his glasses and wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

"It's not them, you know. I've already cried for them. It's this place. Sure, I only lived here for five years but… there's so many memories. Remember that Halloween party that you and Remus ducked out of so fast?" James said with a small smile.

Sirius chuckled. He definitely remembered that night and exactly what he and Remus had got up to.

"Yeah. Actually, I've got some other nice memories involving Remus from here. I'm not sure your parents would've approved, though," Sirius said giving James a wink.

"It's so empty now with all the furniture gone. You hear how our voices echo in here?" James said.

Sirius remembered the way the family home in London had looked and sounded before they all moved to Manchester four and a half years ago. It had seemed spooky in a way that unsettled Sirius. This place wasn't like that. It was more sad than anything else.

Sirius walked over and wrapped an arm around the shoulders of his best mate.

"Are you ready?" Sirius said.

"Not at all. But what choice do I have but to carry on," James said.

"None whatsoever," Sirius said and they carried on out the front door for the last time.

Sirius silently got in bed while Remus lay there, also silent. The funeral had been hard for them both, Sirius especially. He hadn't said a word after reading his eulogy for James and Lily, not even once they were home. Remus had made them both some tea and set out some biscuits which Sirius never touched.

Remus slid behind Sirius to spoon him. Sirius was cold all over. Remus rubbed all along Sirius's side in an attempt to warm him.

"Thank you," Sirius whispered.

"We'll get through this," Remus said, glad to hear Sirius speak.

"I hope so," Sirius said.

"I know so," Remus said and kissed the back of Sirius's head.

As Remus held Sirius he felt Sirius shifting in a familiar, frustrated way.

After a moment, Sirius asked, "Remus… will you… will you make love to me?"

"Of course," Remus answered and kissed the bare flesh of Sirius's upper back, knowing that sometimes it was possible to find solace in carnal pleasure.

Remus pressed himself into Sirius's back, heart pounding as his hand clutched Sirius's chest. He felt a swelling between his legs as his hand slowly drifted down Sirius's torso, moving it to his inner thigh. Sirius softly moaned and pushed back against Remus.

Remus cupped Sirius through his pants, squeezing his groin softly. Remus gently rubbed himself against the crack of Sirius's arse as Sirius reached back and urged him closer with a hand.

Remus pressed his mouth into the side of Sirius's neck and softly sucked. Something wet struck his cheek, a tear from Sirius that he kissed.

"I love you, Sirius," Remus whispered into his boyfriend's ear.

"I love you too," Sirius said.

Remus slid his hand inside Sirius's pants and wrapped a hand around the curve of Sirius's hard cock. Remus stroked Sirius gently while he planted soft kisses on his neck, shoulder on arm.

"I need you, Remus. Need you inside of me," Sirius said.

Remus kissed Sirius's cheek then rolled over. He pulled out the lube from the night stand which he poured into his hand then he eased his pants down and slicked himself up. He then rolled back to Sirius, placing a hand on his hip and sliding Sirius's pants down.

Remus wrapped his hand back around Sirius's cock, getting it wet from the lube while he pressed his long, thick and wet shaft against Sirius's back. Remus used his other hand to ease the head of his cock to Sirius's hole.

"Please, Remus. Please," Sirius urged as Remus slowly pushed inside.

Sirius moaned and Remus squeezed his cock firmly, as his own cock worked its way inside Sirius. Remus knew how to be careful not to go too fast and tonight of all nights he thought it was important not to hurt his lover.

"Oh God, Remus, push it deeper," Sirius said, his voice low and desperate.

"Are you sure?" Remus breathed into his ear.

"Yes. Please," Sirius urged.

Remus obliged him and pushed himself inside as far as he could and Sirius let out a deep moan. Remus moved his hand to Sirius's hip as he slowly, carefully thrust, leaving Sirius to stroke himself.

Remus planted soft kisses on Sirius's neck as he continued to thrust inside him. Sirius's breath was ragged while he frantically stroked himself. Remus gripped the curve of Sirius's thigh tightly as he sped up his thrusts, feeling the tension rising.

"Oh, Remus. Shit. Fuck," Sirius said, his voice jerky and strained.

Sirius moaned and Remus felt pleasure explode, hot and calming as he came inside his shuddering lover. Remus continued to thrust as he pushed his mouth back into Sirius's throat and sucked. Sirius continued to shudder and Remus draped an arm over Sirius's chest and squeezed him.

Sirius let out a sob as his head fell against Remus's arm, hot tears splashing on Remus's skin. Remus brushed the back of Sirius's hair with his free hand, his thrusts finally ended as they held in place, both breathing hard.

Slowly they pulled apart and Sirius rolled over to face Remus. Sirius leaned over and gave Remus a deep, slow, kiss his lips warm and grateful.

"Thank you. Not just for the sex… for everything. For being a solid foundation for me to stand on. I couldn't make it without you," Sirius said.

"Of course you could, Sirius. You're stronger and braver than you know."

The phone rang at eight A.M., waking Sirius up. He could hear Remus talking but he couldn't understand the words he was saying. He did catch one word that he could recognise: Harry. As Remus hung up the phone, Sirius looked over at him expectantly. He couldn't read what emotion was on Remus's face exactly but he thought he looked surprised.

"That was a social worker from Social Services. They say…" Remus started then inhaled deeply, "They say James and Lily have left guardianship of Harry to us. To both of us. They've just set up a meeting with us both for this afternoon."

Sirius was stunned. Surely, he had misheard Remus.

"They've left Harry to us? Surely, this must be a mistake," Sirius said.

"It's not. Apparently, they just needed time to verify the will James and Lily had written up," Remus said.

"But we're gay! And not married!" Sirius said.

"I don't think that matters. What matters is that we now have to decide if this is what we want. We're both still young. This will define our lives until Harry reaches adulthood," Remus said.

Sirius thought for a moment. He had to admit he never saw himself being a parent at only twenty-one. But the thought of Harry being in the care of the Dursleys… no. There was no other choice.

"Yes. I want to do it. I want Harry to be ours. I want to raise him," Sirius said and reached over and grabbed Remus's hand then finished, "With you."

Remus smiled and kissed Sirius on the forehead and said, "Harry is all that we have left. Let's make this count."