nostalgia

Michiru enjoyed watching little Hotaru waddle across the park towards the swings. It hadn't been long since the Outer Senshi adopted the little girl, about a few months or so, but already she was about five or six. Little ones only stayed little for so long, and sometimes she wished that she could've doted upon the infant Hotaru for just a little bit longer, but small child Hotaru was more fun than infant Hotaru. Having a small child instead of an infant meant more time spent outdoors, which included time spent at parks and pools, time that the whole family could enjoy.

Besides, Haruka enjoyed the park as well. The blond handed her a thermos of warm coffee as she joined her at the bench. Taking a quick glance at Hotaru, Haruka scrunched her face in annoyance, not at Hotaru but at the plum dress the little girl wore. Michiru couldn't help but laugh at her lover's disgust. "Are you going to criticize Setsuna again?" she teased.

Haruka glared at her. "No, I'm going to criticize the both of you. I bought Hotaru-chan some T-shirts and shorts, and she hasn't worn them yet."

"But Hotaru-chan wanted to wear that dress today. You can't say no to her, can you, Haruka?"

She didn't have much room to talk, since Setsuna was the only disciplinarian in the household, but it was cute seeing Haruka flustered over spoiling their daughter. Even though Hotaru wasn't an infant any longer, the couple still spent a large portion of their paychecks on her well-being and happiness. Often Setsuna kept private savings so they were able to pay all the bills. This made Haruka embarrassed, but she couldn't resist her impulses. Turning her head away, she snatched the thermos back and downed the coffee, refusing to let Michiru see past her. "Nothing wrong with wanting the best for her. Hotaru-chan was given a second chance in this lifetime. She deserves a better childhood."

Haruka was right. Hotaru's first childhood with Professor Tomoe was tragic, and their childhoods did not fare much better. Thinking back to dismal times, Michiru remembered long bouts of solitude with her violin in her room or in limousines. An artistic prodigy, forced to distance herself from most, with the sea as one of her few comforts. She knew Haruka's childhood was just as rough, being the eldest of six foster kids and having to take care of them while her foster uncle worked long hours as a mechanic.

So with the Death Busters defeated, they could make little Hotaru happy as they moved on with their lives. Haruka seemed relaxed now, placing her hands behind her head as she stared up at the cloudy sky. "You know, Michiru," she started, yawning," no matter what park we go to with Hotaru-chan, I always feel a small sense of nostalgia."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. It's a funny feeling." The blond stretched her arms, dangling one across Michiru's back. Michiru encouraged her lover to continue her story by kissing her hand, taking in the taste of something that was vaguely oily. Nonchalantly, Haruka took her hand back, rubbing it with the other. "Not that kind of feeling. We haven't done it in the park yet."

"We haven't?"

"You shouldn't talk so lewdly in public, Michiru. It's not good for little ears." Pointing to Hotaru by the swings, Haruka shook her head. "But yeah. I always spent my time as a kid between school and taking care of my brothers and sisters, and so on my uncle's day off, he used to take me to the park to run around and play catch and junk, just the two of us. He only spent a couple of hours with me because it wasn't fair to leave the others alone, but he knew I needed some time for myself. Often ran from the old man just so he could chase me, ha, but he'd always catch me. I used to be mad at him for that, but it's funny looking back now. Sometimes I even wanna be a little kid again, just for a short while. You ever experience that kinda feeling, Michiru?"

Michiru did. Closing her eyes the girl felt for Haruka's hand and squeezed it, smiling. She couldn't think of any pleasant nostalgia from her childhood, but every time they went to a beach, she thought of Haruka. Long walks on the beach resulting in sunburns and massages with lotion…campfires and sex on the beach, never fearing the wrath of the tide…even when she was alone at the beach, Michiru longed for those feelings of warmth and passion. It was truly wonderful. "Yes," she answered at last, content with her memories. "Do you think Hotaru-chan will experience it when she gets older?"

She squeezed her hand again, and Haruka squeezed hers back. "Sure she will. She has the three of us, right? And she has Chibiusa-chan and Odango and the rest of them. If our little girl doesn't find that warmth in her belly, I'll have to make everyone else suffer the consequences."

"Ooh, such a scary Papa-san."

They shared a chuckle and a kiss. Leaning against Haruka's chest, Michiru waved little Hotaru over, crouching down to receive the girl in her arms. She was impatient to let her daughter create nostalgia on her own. Right now all she wanted was pleasant memories for the family, without having the worries of dying or killing others. Today they would get ice cream, and hopefully Hotaru would remember this and look back fondly at this day, and Setsuna would scold them all in the end. All was well.

(Original notes: Precious Hotaru is precious.)

Originally written February 4th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. I love this pairing because Haruka and Michiru hold so many emotions and it's all complex. Their emotions always strike me as pretty heavy.