Endlessly
Chapter 1
I blinked in the darkness, what had woken me? My mind struggling to find the culprit as my eyes turned toward the bedside table. I sat up when I heard the knocking at my door. I groaned as I climbed from my warm bed, pulling my robe from the back of the door hoping to trap some of my quickly evaporating heat. Someone had better have a damn good reason for getting me up at 1 am.
"Good God I'm coming already." I grumbled under my breath as the bounderish person on the other side of the door continued knocking. I pulled my robe around myself tighter preparing for the coldness that would lie on the other side of the door.
I pulled open the door and the shock didn't come from the air but from whom was standing on my stoop, the light illuminating his masculine features harshly.
"Jake." I breathed. I didn't ask him to come in, I simply grabbed his hand and pulled him into the warmth of my house.
"I'm sorry it's so late, I just didn't want to go anywhere else." He said his dark eyes looking as sheepish as they could, which wasn't much but the effort was evident.
"Don't be sorry." I took his jacket from him; "Do you want anything?" I asked as I hung his jacket in the hall closet.
"No, I just need you," I paused and looked over my shoulder, "I need you to talk to." He said as he moved further into the house, sitting down on the couch. I walked from the closet and sat down beside him on the couch. I could still feel the coldness of the night emanating from him. It made me wonder how long he had been standing in the cold. He could see my brain working and he asked me what I was thinking with with a lift of his dark brow.
"How long were you waiting outside?" I asked as he ran his finger down my ring finger.
"Probably about 15 minutes." He saw the shock in my face and continued, "I couldn't make myself wake you, but I had to see you and I didn't want to be alone."
"What's wrong?" I pulled my legs up into the couch and pulled his hand into my lap, as he leaned his head back onto the couch.
"It's over." He spoke so softly that I could barely hear him.
"What's over?" I thought I knew the answer to that question but I wanted to hear him say it. I couldn't look the fool.
"She left." He lifted his head and laced our fingers together as if he needed some type of contact, "She said she wasn't ready to get married that she wasn't sure anymore."
"Anymore?" Jessica hadn't been my ideal choice for him to begin with, but this took the cake. She had basically egged him into a proposal and now she wasn't sure?
"That's what I thought," He looked down at our hands and squeezed my fingers before he looked up at me, "I don't really know what I did wrong."
"Jake," I sighed and squeezed his fingers back, "I don't believe that you did anything wrong. I think that she thought she wanted something then she realized that she didn't. It's not your fault." I placed my hand on the side of his face and smiled into his sad eyes.
He sighed again and replaced his head back against the couch, "I guess. I thought she was happy."
I couldn't seem to find the words that would fit the situation so I sat quietly and ran my fingers over his work callused knuckles.
"You really do hate her don't you?"
I looked up at him, "Yeah I do." My eyes squinting with my confession. I knew how it hurt when you cared for someone and others didn't feel the same way.
"Sorry,"
"No it's not your fault. You can't help how I feel about someone."
"I know." He nodded.
We spent the next hour talking about everything, work, weather, family, everything but her and for that I was silently grateful.
"Okay JB," He grinned at the use of his nickname, "Lets get some tea and then I think it's bed time for you. And before you say a word you are staying here tonight." There was no way I was letting him drive home through the Port Angeles fog I knew would be rolling in about now.
"I was going to ask, I don't want to be alone." He stared down at our still intertwined hands as he spoke. I stood, pulled him from the couch and I made my way into the kitchen. I was gathering the items I needed to make a pot of tea when I felt him enter the room.
"There is some sweet tea in the fridge, if you will get it out for me." I told Jake as he propped against the counter behind me.
"Okay." He moved to the fridge and sat the glass pitcher to the counter beside me.
I reached to the top shelf to grab my teacup and a glass for him. Before I could reach them I felt his warmth behind me through my thin silk robe. He pulled down the cups for me and sat them on the counter beside me but he didn't pull away. He palmed my hips and stepped behind me, his body a solid line behind me. He lowered his chin to my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist, I rested my hands on his and leaned my head against his body. We stayed like that for endless moments until finally he lifted head and kissed my silk clad shoulder, "Thank you for not saying 'I told you so'."
"We've already had that discussion," It had been an argument, one that I never wanted to repeat again, "I didn't see the need."
"Well thank you." He said as the tea kettle began it's slow whistle. He released me and I moved to the stove slowly pouring the scalding liquid into my cup then filled his glass. I turned and handed him his then doctored my tea to my liking. When I turned to face him he led the way to the table.
He stared down into his glass as if it could give him the answers to his most burning questions. I reached across the table and placed my hand in his. When he looked up at me, I smiled, "It will be okay. I promise. You will be fine."
"I know." he replied automatically, but it sounded like the belief wasn't really there.
We drank our tea in a comfortable silence, his mind a million miles away and mine on him.