Note: I don't own anything. Since 'Innuendo' was so popular, I decide to write this as a sort of sequel. If you haven't read Innuendo, that's ok, they're not related other than the fact that last time it was Zexion and Demyx who jumped to conclusions. Hence this title 'What Comes Around, Goes Around'. I wanted to say 'cums' but I'm not sure the FF rules on using sex stuff in summaries and titles, so I played it safe. PLEASE REVIEW! You get a cookie, and maybe a third part to this series if you do!
What Comes Around, Goes Around
Larxene sauntered down the hallway, stepping lightly and pretending, in her mind, that she was something of a ninja, waiting for the right moment to strike... someone's head with a knife. To be honest, she wasn't in the greatest of moods, not that she ever was. Marluxia was out, whatever that meant, Luxord was busy, another questionable excuse, and everyone else was mysteriously nowhere to be found. Larxene found their absence added to her temperamental mood; today was not the day to test the extent of a woman's, this woman's, wrath. Pity be to the person she came across first.
It happened, that day, that she did not come across a person, per say, but two, and not quite people, but their voices
They came from behind a shut door, Zexion's bedroom, on the fifth floor of the Castle That Never Was. Larxene stopped in her tracks, and turned her steady evil gaze onto the door, as if if was the one speaking.
"Don't you want to sit down or something?" A monotone voice questioned.
"Nah, I'd rather stand." Replied a bubbly one. Larxene rolled her eyes. Demyx.
"I get a better angle at it if you sit."
"Oh yea, I forgot, you're short!"
There was some rummaging from the other side of the door, and Larxene furrowed her already furrowed brow. Refraining from kicking down the door, she leaned against the wall and tilted her head in to listen more.
Zexions voice came through the layer of wood. "Don't insult my height you moron, remember, I'm the one doing this for you. You're the one who asked me to, so you had better be nice."
"Sorry Zexy. I appreciate you doing this for me, I've never done it without a professional before!"
Larxene made a face that looked something like a large 'o', followed by a small 'o', with a 'WTF' placed in quotation marks after it.
"Professional, my ass. Don't believe everything you're told, Demyx. Just because you walk into a building and someone tells you they're a professional, doesn't make them one."
"But it was cheap!"
"Even more reason not to trust them. Think of the diseases you could catch!"
Larxene's face remained as described above.
"Am I going to get diseases if we do it like this?"
Zexion scoffed. "I resent that statement. Do you trust me, Demyx?"
"Well..." Demyx sounded concerned "Yea, but you said..."
"Whatever. Are we going to do this or not?" Zexion sounded impatient.
"Will it bleed?" Demyx whimpered.
"Did it bleed when the 'professional' did it?"
"No."
"Well then why should it bleed this time?"
"Because what he used was a lot smaller"
Zexion laughed. "That shouldn't matter, size isn't the deciding factor in this, it's skill that's important."
There was some more whimpering from Demyx, and an exasperated sigh from Zexion. Larxene didn't dare move.
"Hey, Larx"
She jumped, turned around, and nearly threw a knife at the person who had spoken. Fortunately she didn't, pausing just long enough to see it was Marluxia, back from being 'out'. She shushed him with her hands, and made another rude gesture in the process. Marluxia, feeling confused, leaned in to hear whatever it was Larxene was listening to.
"Is it lined up?"
"Yes, you dim-wit, it is."
"Okay" Demyx gave a nervous sigh "I just don't want it to go in at the wrong angle."
"It won't you moron. There's only one angle it can go in, and that's in. On three"
Demyx counted "One... two..." he squealed, yelped, and there was a crashing sound.
Marluxia glanced at Larxene, one eyebrow raised.
"I can't do it!" Demyx wailed, sobbing dramatically.
Zexion sighed. "Why in the name of all things evil not?"
"Because..." he whimpered "because when the professional did it he put some stuff on it to make it hurt less when it went it... I don't want it to hurt!" He sobbed again.
"It's going to be fine! Just hurry up and let me do it, and it'll be over sooner!"
Marluxia threw his head back and laughed silently. Larxene twitched. "Oh this is great" he whispered to her, moaning a bit fro dramatic effect. Some more bits of argument came from the other side of the door, making Marluxia grin even more.
Larxene took a few steps back, eying Marluxia and then glancing away. "I'm... just going to leave... now" She said slowly, turning to walk stiffly away. Later, when she would reach her room, she would watch hours of mindless Disney movies in an attempt to forget the afternoon. Marluxia, on the other hand, stayed put, anxious to hear more.
"It's like porn to my ears!" He cried aloud. Fortunately, Zexion and Demyx didn't hear him.
"One... two... three!" Demyx exclaimed, his voice hitching at the end. Then he squealed. "Ow, ow, ow, ow-" he repeated, on the verge of tears.
"Look, it went right in, no problem."
"It's weird!"
"You just aren't used to it. Don't worry, it won't be that bad in a few minutes. I've got to leave it in there for a bit, okay? Don't move." Zexion told him.
On the other side of the door, Marluxia was wearing his rape face as he Marluxia-gasmed.
Marluxia, passed out in his state of ecstasy, did not hear the rest of the event.
Inside the bedroom
Zexion sat on the bed, legs crossed, arms folded. "You are such a drama queen" he told Demyx, who was lying on the bed with his eyes squeezed shut. "It wasn't that bad!" He stated "Hell" Zexion said slyly "I bet I could be one of those professionals you were talking about."
"But what about the diseases!" Demyx gasped, sitting up next to Zexion. "Wouldn't you pass them around working in a place like that!"
Zexion turned to glare at his mullet bearing friend. "Don't accuse me of such things! If I ever had the misfortune of working in a place like that, I'd make sure to sterilize the needles before piercing someone's ear."
Zexion tossed the jumbo-safety pin over onto a desk. "You were right, though, maybe we should have used a smaller needle. Who knows how much blood one like that is going to draw?"
Demyx sobbed at the thought of blood pouring out of his ear.