Shooting Star
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A/N: prompt to close, don't own Young Wizards, the Young Wizards category is getting full, but I'm still going to post
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I sit there, watching, waiting, like I have for the past twenty years of my life. I can't find anything fair about this. She's gone, walking away. She slammed the door in my face.
I'm alone. There's no one here. Nobody will come close to me. Nobody cares about me. They're isolating me, they're pushing me aside. Tears come down my face. Why can't I just go home?
I have no home, nobody will look at me. Mother hates me, she sent me away for a reason. If father were still alive, what would that mean? Would he hate me like everyone, would he shun me, or would he accept me like he had forever?
I'm a wizard, mother. I can't change that. Is that why she hates me? When I was twelve, before I was a wizard, we were so close. She would hug me in public and I wouldn't feel embarrassed. I want that back. I want to see her smile at me. Mother, what happened to your smile?
It's gone. Gone, just like everything I've ever loved. Why can't I just accept what happened and get over it? Because that's not how the world works. Mother threw me out, exactly like she said she would, if I spoke more than just one word to her. I tried to say, "I'm sorry."
She slammed the door in my face. She won't answer the doorbell. I bang on the door, but she locked it. It's useless. I'm alone.
I hate you. Three words that had been spoken to me everyday of my life. The three words that had made the biggest impact of my actions. Mother hates me, Nita hates me, Kit hates me.
I tried, but it's not enough. It's never enough. I stare out as I sit on my wooden front porch. The stars are so beautiful, so amazing.
What happened to the rain? What happened to the soft wetness that falls from the cloud? What happened to my peace? My mind is in chaos. I can't think straight.
If I continue to walk the straight path, would I end up in Hell? No, I already am in Hell. My life is a living Hell.
I'm misunderstood, nobody has taken the time to know me. I'm not worth Time. I'm not worth anything.
Why didn't you save her?
"Why?!" I shout to the heavens. I shout to the Powers. I just scream. "Thanks for giving me another grave to visit."
I didn't have the power, and now I don't have the heart.
I remember the feel of her soft curly black hair underneath my chin. I picture her panda toenails showing off with her pink flip-flops. I smell the apple in her lotion as her hand strokes my cheek. I taste the cherry on her lips as she brings them to connect with mine. I hear her soft whisper as she says my name and 'I love you' right after.
Ronan, I love you.
Exactly like that. My arms are empty now. I have nothing left. She was my life. I swear I was going to marry her. Kit, if I had any chance to save her, I would have taken it.
I'm dying inside. She taught me how to live.
We were so alike, so close, that we shared the same soul. The soul I had come to love was split in two. That day shattered everything. My dreams were scattered. She had held everything together, put the pieces together, made me whole. She had kept my hopes alive and close. What happened to them?
What happened to her?
I took my eyes off her. I let her go instead of holding her close. She found her way home, but not the one that she lived in. Her true, final Home.
How many times did she try to drag me to church? How many times did I refuse, saying I wasn't a religious person? I didn't know God. I doubted in Him, wondered why He was doing what He was doing. Why didn't I listen?
I was stubborn to think that I could survive the world alone. She believed even when she couldn't breathe. She still held Him close even when her heart monitor flat lined. Why can't I be like that?
I look at the pine tree in my yard. The moon lights up the pine needles. Pinecones litter the grass beneath it. I want to walk over there and pick up one. I want to put one in water, just like she showed me. I want to watch it close up. I want to see the beauty of it all.
Her beauty was greater than the sun's. Her smile was the prettiest thing in the world. She smiled at me every day. Every day, I felt happy.
Now, I can never be happy. To her, I was worth Time. To her, I was worth her love. Nobody had ever loved me before.
I am numb. Not from cold, but my emotions. I can't smile, I can't frown, only look forward.
Smile for me, Ronan. Not like that, show me your teeth.
I remember that. I remember her pulling on my lips when I refused to smile. I remember when she stuck her finger in my mouth so she could see my teeth. I closed my lips around that finger and she didn't move it. She just leaned in closer and said that her fingernail polish wasn't exactly non-toxic. I spat her finger and she laughed. She hugged me and said it was only when it was wet that it was poisonous.
Another tear flows out of my empty eyes. I don't lift a hand to wipe it away. I'm hopeless.
I feel the wedding dress she showed me. Obviously it wasn't the one she picked. It was a loose white dress that flowed amazingly. There was no lace, but ribbons hung from the shoulders that could be wrapped around the arms. Another ribbon hung around the waist that she told me to tie in a bow. She looked brilliant.
I love you too.
She wasn't my girlfriend. She was my fiancée; she was my heart, my soul, my life, my everything. I want to go back and stop it.
She can't be dead.
She can't be. It doesn't seem right. It's not real, it's only a dream. That truck was never there.
Do you want a second chance?
I will do anything for that chance. I want that chance. I want to make things right again.
You have that chance.
I look up to see a shooting star. It's so close I feel like I can reach out and grab it. My hand lifts up, along with the rest of my body. I reach out toward the star heading straight to Earth.
I grasp the hand of that star and I hold her close. We fall to the ground together. We land softly on the grass, next to the pine tree.
Her panda toenails shine in the full moon. Her black hair is in a loose ponytail. The ponytail hangs around her neck and strands of hair are escaping it. Her blue t-shirt says 'The colors taste better than the rainbow.' Her knee-length skirt is in a soft yellow. She is exactly as I remember her.
I hold her close and her tears fall on my shoulder. "Being a star was nice, but you are better," she whispers.
"H-how?" I stutter, tangling my hand in her curly hair.
"If my spirit's still alive, so is my body."
I smile and hold her close. I don't want to let go of her, ever again.
She strokes my cheek and says, "What about the wedding?"
"Kit, Nita, and your parents may be surprised to see you, but I still say Christmas." I hold her at arms length and stare at her eyes. Her brown eyes look into mine and I feel alive again.
"I'm cold," she says. I don't blame her. It's the day before the American Thanksgiving. I take off my coat and hang it on her shoulders. I bend down and pick up her legs to give her a piggyback ride.
She laughs. "I'm five again!" She smiles again. Her smile is more beautiful than seeing that shooting star. It is brighter than her being that star. As she laughs in my neck, I suddenly feel like believing in God.
I transit spell us to our apartment in Rochester, New York. It's a good sized city without being overcrowded. It's not a big apartment, but it'll work until we can afford the duplex.
I let her off my shoulders and she collapses on the couch. I turn on the lamp and stare at her face. She's asleep already. I put a pillow under her head and cover her with a blanket. I kiss her soft forehead and stroke her beautiful hair before I walk to the bedroom.
Carmela Nolan.
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A/N: It's a little cheesy, but I like it, I guess.