Author's Note: A huge thank you goes out to Mist for being the world's greatest Beta. An enormous thank you goes to Chele for telling me about the song that inspired this story. (Yeah I'm still not admitting that I bought it :P) Without you girl, this one would have never come to be, so thank you.

I love you both more than words can explain!

Hugs, Embry & Sam kisses!

Prologue

March

I stared at Jacob across the sea that separated us. A sea that he had built to keep me out; to keep me from hurting him again.

I watched as he slowly ripped the paper napkin in front of him to shreds. Anything to keep from looking up at me.

I inhaled deeply. This wasn't supposed to be this hard, "So how have you been?" I was shocked at how strong my voice sounded, I felt weaker than I had ever in my life.

His eyebrows lifted, he licked his lips, "Good. I've been busy." His hands stilled for a moment, "You?"

I waited to reply, willing him to look up at me. Finally with a silent sigh of defeat I replied, "I've been good to. I took a few weeks off."

"That's good." He answered noncommittally.

Sometimes I didn't know why I tried, "I'm sorry Jake."

Finally he lifted his eyes to my face. His gaze was so intense, so deep as if he could see into the deepest darkest parts of my soul. I found myself lowering my eyes, cursing my weakness the entire time.

"For what?" His voice clear, he asked. He knew exactly what far. The whole reason why he sat on the other side of this tiny cafe table a million miles away.

"For everything."

We both jumped slightly as his phone beeped. I watched as he lifted it, and saw the look of relief flash across his face as he placed it against his ear.

"Hey." I watched his face as he listened to whom ever was on the other end of the line. His eyes glancing around, seeing nothing as he nodded, "Yeah, that's not a problem. I'm not that far away actually, a few minutes." I sighed knowing that he was leaving, "Yeah I'm on my way. Tell him I'll be right there. Yeah thanks." He clicked the end button on the phone and slid it into his jeans pocket. I searched his eyes as he looked at me, his wall so perfectly in place I couldn't read a thing, "I'm sorry. There's been a problem a the shop. I've got to go."

I nodded and bit my lip, "That's fine. Thanks for making time for me."

"Sure, sure." He replied with a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he pushed up from the table, "Talk to you later."

"Yeah." I replied quietly watching him as he turned and headed toward the door. I watched him through the window to my right as he crossed the parking lot, the rare sun highlighting his russet skin, and settled himself on the motorcycle he had roared in on earlier.

This one was different from the ones that we had built all those years ago. This was huge, the metal stretched across the frame like muscles, reminding me so much of Jake. He pushed the kickstand up and kicked it off, the roar rattling the window beside me for a moment. I watched him as he made his way out of the parking lot, never looking back.

I spent the next two hours staring out that same window, seeing nothing but the memories of my life. The memories of all the joy, and of all the mistakes that I had made. It seemed to me, as I thought about it later, that there were many more memories of my mistakes than of the joy in my life.

There were so many memories of joy with Jake. He was the one thing in my life that I could remember perfectly, his eyes were etched in my mind, his smile would be forever tattooed on my heart. There had been a time that I would have done anything to make him smile. Now I would do anything just to have him look at me.

Our life had been so perfect together, of course I would say that now. Hindsight is always 20/20. There had been a time that I had been so perfectly happy, so worry free that I really didn't know how bad life could eat you up and spit you out.

When I left Forks, I really believed that it was time, time for me to spread my wings to fly. Little did I know my wings were nothing more than a paper-mache illustration, and the Fates would be ushering hail storms and hurricanes into my life.

I never dreamed that I would be back in Forks, the soul provider for a father who couldn't remember my name and I never believed that I would be here alone without the only bright spot left in my life.

I sighed and stood from the table and made my way out into the sunshine, it's light failing to warm me.