A/N: Hello Mikita shippers! I have to say, I haven't posted in this section in a while but this idea was just nagging me and wouldn't go away. Pretty much what the summery says: Nikita had always wondered what that little leather book was that Michael always carried around. Now she was going to find out. Set in sometime in season 2, after 2x12.

This story assumes that Team Nikita saves Division and surprisingly, Oversight too in 2x13 but gets away from their clutches. P.S.- Sean is now a part of Team Nikita, just because I like him. Another note, Michael is now staying with the others, not Max and Cassandra to keep them safe.

DISCLAIMER: No. No I don't own them. Otherwise, there would be no reason for me to post this, it would be in the next episode instead:)

–(*)–

In all the time she had known Michael, Nikita had always wondered what that little leather book was that he always seemed to be carrying around with him. She'd seen him in Division a million times, scribbling or flicking through the leather book, smiling sometimes before glancing up to check on the recruits. If he ever caught her gazing curiously at him, he'd smirk and tell her to get back to work. If he ever left it on a desk or in the weapons room, she'd make an attempt to steal it...and the end up on the ground, Michael's arm against her neck, his eyes twinkling in amusement as he stared into her own, hazel-brown orbs. He found obvious hilarity into the great attempts she made to steal the notebook...which always ended up in failure.

When Nikita graduated to an agent, he invited her over to his apartment once to check her progress with her current mission. He was ordering pizza down the hall when Nikita noticed the book, tossed lazily on the kitchen counter. She made a mad dive for it, flipping it open before he could stop her. Seconds later, it was snapped shut by his hand but Nikita could've sworn she saw her own face.

She left Division and for the short while that she let them mull in their own, selfish business, she found herself thinking about that book. She knew for sure she hadn't imagined her photo in it. Did Michael have a photo of her in a book he carried around with him everywhere? That thought always made her smile.

When they got together officially, the morning after, actually, while grabbing his heavy overcoat, she found the book in his pocket, she was about to open it when it was snatched out of her hand and she turned to face Michael's grinning face.

'Bad luck,' he'd said with a chuckle, slipping on the coat before stowing the notebook away again.

Events with Alex, Division and Oversight all distracted Nikita from then on and the book shifted to the back of her mind. While on the run, they'd had several playful fights over trying to get to the notebook which had resulted in make-out sessions...

Nikita didn't do much thinking about the book when Michael left to be with Max. She was too busy brewing in her own self-pity and anger with herself. Why had she let him go? Birkhoff's torture took her mind of him a bit and then, when following Ari to Russia to get the black box, she had something else to focus on. Saving and looking after Alex brought a relieving new task to focus on. And then, Birkhoff announced that Michael was coming back. They had an opportunity to talk, and in that small couple of minutes, Nikita saw the notebook, peeking out of his shirt pocket but Sean had interrupted any chance they had of making up at that moment. When they found out about Clean Sweep, Sean helped them race to get everyone out of the Division building and rescue all the Oversight officials before stealing the suitcase that executed Clean Sweep and dodging Division's desperate clutches. Afterwards, when they were finally alone, while Michael tended to Nikita's wounds, he quietly confessed that he wasn't going to leave for a long time...until he could be certain that Max would be safe in his presence. Nikita didn't say anything in reply...but just nodded.

A week passed. Alex and Birkhoff were constantly nudging both of them to make amends and snog each other's faces off. Nikita refused, saying that everyone had other things on their minds and relationships shouldn't be complicating things...which led Alex to swallow guiltily. She and Sean had been dancing flirtatiously around each other's hearts ever since he'd joined their side.

It was Friday morning when Nikita finally got a good look through the notebook. Sean and Alex had both used the 'training' excuse to get out of the house and go down to the beach. Once they were gone, Birkhoff, Nikita and Michael exchanged smirks and rolled eyes as the two, young 'lovers' left the safe house. Birkhoff left the room soon afterwards, mumbling something about a sexual tension overload and needing to decrypt some files. Nikita bit back a laugh of amusement.

'Do you want coffee?' Michael asked softly. Slightly startled by him speaking, Nikita jumped a bit before nodding. 'Yeah, sure.'

He moved to the kitchen, opening the cupboards and frowning. 'Coffee is the only thing in here!' he exclaimed.

'Yeah...Alex is on a two minute noodles diet,' Nikita said with a grin. 'Birkhoff lives on beer and popcorn and somehow, I manage to survive on microwave meals and coffee.'

'I'm going shopping this afternoon,' Michael muttered, flicking the on switch of the coffee machine. Nikita pulled herself up to the kitchen counter, sitting on the cool, stone, marble. She suddenly saw the book's scratchy, brown, leather cover beside her on top of the newspapers. Carefully making sure that Michael wasn't watching her, she picked it up and opened it. The first thing on the first page was a photograph of a young woman with long blonde hair and a little girl with brown pigtails and a big smile on her face, her two front teeth, missing. Nikita guessed they were Elizabeth and Hayley before her eyes drifted to the words.

Liz told me to start this book, Michael had written. I reckon it's stupid but hey, Hales wants me to be able to tell her about her childhood on her eighteenth birthday so what the hell, I've got nothing to lose.

Nikita swallowed. It was hard to think that Michael hadn't known that Hayley wouldn't even live to her tenth birthday. She turned a few pages where she saw no photographs but shaky handwriting. She read a few lines and realised this must've been Michael's entries not long after Elizabeth and Hayley were killed. There were more upset, angst-y entries before there was a picture of the recruits room. An entry about Division. There were a couple of pages that indicated Michael's time as a recruit until there was a leap in dates. Nikita noticed a three year gap between the two entries. The new entry was about how Michael had been promoted from an agent to Percy's right hand man. There were occasional entries over the next year...one entry every couple of months. And then, there it was. Her photo. Nikita saw her own eyes staring back at her indignantly. It was a photo Michael had taken without her permission and he'd stowed his phone away, laughing as she made a desperate attempt to get it back. She was smiling. Laughing actually, at a joke one of her fellow recruits had said. The girl's name was Ana. Nikita wondered inwardly how Ana was. Probably dead.

Nikita's eyes skimmed over the entry about her.

And that's Nikita in that photo, there. She's one of the recent recruits. She's been pretty pissed about being here but she'd an amazing recruit. One of our best. She fights with a fire you rarely see in a new recruit. I know Percy likes her. She's going to go far. I know it.

Nikita smiled to herself. So Michael had faith in her, even then. There were pages of complaints about bad recruits, failed missions and then, another entry that caught Nikita's eye.

Nikita's an agent now. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm freaking out. She's always been my favourite recruit and...I'm worried about her out of Division. Amanda's suspicious. She thinks I have feelings for Nikita. I don't. I definitely don't. I'm her handler. I care about her...that's all it can be.

Nikita sighed. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to insist. She flicked through more pages.

Nikita's gone. Dammit, I should've known. I should've stopped her. Hell, it 's because of Daniel, the guy she fell for. He was supposed to just be her cover but nobody can control the human heart. I tried to warn Daniel! Nikita had admitted her feelings for him about a month ago when I was checking her mission progress and then two days ago, Amanda announced that they were sending in cleaners to get rid of Daniel. He was becoming too close to her. He'd proposed. I'm not going to lie, when I found out Nikita had said yes, it broke my heart but I knew she loved him and it would break her heart when she found out he was dead. I went down to his apartment and told him everything, trying to convince him to run for it but he refused, being the freaking noble hero that he is, saying that there was no way he'd get anywhere without Division catching him. He asked me to take care of her and I promised I would...but the minute she found out he was dead, she left Division, swearing to take them apart and not think twice about it. I swear to God. If I can stop her, I will. I won't let her destroy herself over Daniel...no matter how much she loved him. I won't let her die.

Nikita felt tears of shock prick her eyes. Michael had tried to save Daniel? He'd been warned? Michael had tried to save him...even though he loved her, he would do it to keep her happy?

'I cared about you,' he said quietly from behind her. 'I still do.'

Nikita slipped off the kitchen counter, turning to face him. 'Y...you tried t...to save him,' she whispered. Michael nodded. 'He was a good guy. He didn't deserve to die.'

'Oh my God,' Nikita choked, bringing a hand to her forehead, leaning helplessly against the kitchen counter.

'You can read the rest,' Michael said, surprising her. 'Here.' He pushed the cup of coffee towards her. Nikita glanced at the steaming mug, nodding weakly. She curled her hand around the cup, bringing it to her lips and gulping down a sip before returning her attention to the book.

I saw Nikita today. I let her go. I couldn't...I couldn't do it. I wasn't going to kill her. She shot me in the arm, saying it was a good wound and that Division would believe I'd tried to stop her. God, she hasn't changed. She's still that cocky, arrogant, smart-ass, hard-fisted and somehow, agonisingly beautiful annoyance that she always was.

Nikita smiled through her tears.

I hadn't realised how much I missed her. How much...how much I actually loved her. She made me feel alive again since I lost Liz and Hayley. Percy wants me to kill her the moment I see her again...but I can't do that. And I know this is selfish and stupid...but I just can't wait to see her again.

So many of the other entries after that, narrated Nikita's plans to take down Division and what had happened since she'd announced that she was going to tear them apart. All the mission's she'd destroyed...all the things she'd threatened...and all the moments that had occurred between her and Michael. And then, Michael's suspicions about Alex spilled out, as did his confessions about Kasim and his doubts about Division. When Nikita saw the date of one entry, she didn't even need to read it. He'd kissed her, stayed the night and switched sides.

Entries about the new missions against Division were poured onto the pages and then, they slipped into Nikita and Michael's time on the run. Their close encounter with being caught, thanks to Alex, and then the rescue by Birkhoff and the slowly taking apart of every black box operation.

And then Max came into the equation. Nikita didn't read the entries about him...she couldn't bring herself to. She knew Michael was watching her and she didn't care. She wasn't going to read those entries.

Then, she flicked upon yesterday's entry.

Well. I'm back with the old team...sort of.

There was a picture of Alex pissing off Birkhoff by his computers, Sean smirking as he drank his coffee, Nikita looking amused as she stood beside Alex. Michael's entry continued.

We never expected Sean to help us but I think Alex's truth giving when they were back in Division kinda helped place doubts into his mind. Birkhoff's still recovering from Amanda's torture. I feel terrible for not being there to help him. I know how helpless Nikita felt when she was trying to figure out how to save him. I wish I could've been there. To help her. Tell her everything was gonna be okay. It's crazy how good it is to see her again, even if we are on shaky ground. I'm hoping that maybe we can sort things out while I'm here. I'm not going back to London for a while. I can't risk putting Max in any danger...I mean, with Cassandra being a spy...I don't think he needs me bringing Division on my tail. But back at the beach house...I can't believe I'm saying this, but it feels like having a proper family again. Not with Liz and Hayley, I'm not talking about them. I mean when I was growing up, actually. When I was a kid, there was my parents and me and then there was also my older brother, Clayden and my sister, Ellie. We fought endlessly but we were the most comical family you would ever find. I had to leave them when they thought I'd died in the car bomb, like Hayley and Liz. I miss them like hell, but being here, with Birkhoff, Alex, Sean and Nikita...it makes up for those years alone. It's obvious that Sean and Alex are dodging their feelings for each other. It's quite funny, actually. Nikita and I barely talk...which means I've got to find some other way to get her to forgive me for being the selfish ass that I can be. If I succeed, I'll be scribbling about it tomorrow.

The entry ended there. Nikita carefully placed down the notebook, turning to face Michael.

'I'm sorry,' he offered lamely. Nikita chuckled softly. 'Yeah. I know. You shouldn't be. I was the one who told you to go.'

'But I shouldn't have!' Michael said immediately. 'I should've known better. I've learnt from others' countless mistakes inside Division not to get involved with civilians.'

Nikita looked down at the floor, sighing.

'And I did it anyway. I'm such a hypocrite.'

'No you're not,' Nikita said, bringing a gentle hand up to his cheek. 'You've already lost a family once...you didn't want to risk it again.'

'I already had a family, though,' said Michael with a small smile, glancing down at her.

There was a loud exclamation from behind them and they both turned to face Alex, who was glaring at both of them, especially Michael. 'God dammit!' she cried. 'Will you just kiss her?'

'Alex!' Nikita protested but she was cut of by Michael seizing her face and kissing her. Alex wolf whistled from the doorway, pulled away by Sean who insisted they should have some privacy. Nikita broke away first, her face breaking into a smile when she heard Alex's retort about if they left them be, nobody would ever be sitting on that couch again.

'I knew something good would come out of that notebook,' Michael said with a laugh. Nikita smirked, her eyes sparkling. 'Then you should've shown it to me earlier.'

Birkhoff groaned from the doorway. 'God, you guys are sickening. It's like watching your parents make out.'

Nikita rolled her eyes. 'Anything you require, Birkhoff?'

'Beer,' Birkhoff announced, sweeping past his friends to get to the fridge. As he produced a new packet of popcorn, assisted with a fresh can of beer, Michael wrinkled his nose. 'Oh my God, I am so going shopping before we all die due to Birkhoff's insane diet.'

'That would help Division immensely,' Nikita commented. As Michael tried to convince Birkhoff to at least eat Alex's two minute noodles, Nikita picked up his notebook, smiling as she ran her fingers over the crinkly leather of the cover. It had taken a long time but she'd finally figured out what was inside of it...and got a bit more than bargained for, too.

–(*)–

A/N: I know, terrible, weak ending but I SUCK at endings. Anyone wanna give me a crash course? :) I hope this was an okay-ish one shot. I just couldn't get the idea out of my head...and I also hope this ties us over until FEBRUARY FREAKING THIRD?

I'M SO PISSED ABOUT THAT. Okay I'm done. :D Anyway, hopefully we can get some Mikita action in the new lot of episodes. And Salex. I'm a big Salex shipper. You could probably see that from the fic:)

Ok, I'm done rambling. See that little button below? The review one? Yeah, that one makes my day so...maybe, perhaps, just perhaps you could click it? :D reviews are looooove. -Chimi(: