Lola S. Cubish
Zet lived in an old mineshaft.
Or at least, that's what he called it.
It was really a very big New York apartment. Zet liked it. Zet hated
it. But most importantly, Zet had earned the money for the apartment
himself.
Zet was danged proud of that.
"Zet," Maylynn said as she hung upside down from her feet out of the window, "what would you say if I let go, fell five storeys down and splattered across the concrete?"
"Probably 'huh?' or something, because I heard your scream, and then 'boohoo!' when I realized you were dead," Zet replied and pressed the button that made the vegetables turn into a soggy purée in the blender.
"Oh. OK, then I won't do it," Maylynn said carelessly.
Zet grunted a muffled response and dropped the vegetable slime into
the garbage disposal, even if it was unnecessary.
It made a disgusting sound, and Zet grinned.
"Zet," Maylynn went on, "what would you say if I said I saw four upside-down turtles?"
"Probably that you should go down there and help them to their feet before they get run over," Zet mumbled.
Maylynn giggled. "And what if I said that they're only upside-down because I'm upside-down and that they're looking mysteriously a lot like humans and that they're going through our garbage?" Maylynn chirped.
"I'd probably say that you need glasses, or that you've been drinking, or that you should go down there and say that it's our garbage and they better keep their dirty hands off of it, or else...!" Zet said absently and went over to the soda machine.
"I'm going down to talk to them," Maylynn said brightly, pulled herself into the apartment again and put her sneakers on.
"Maybe you better bring some lettuce," Zet said and threw a bunch of it to her from the counter.
Maylynn marched down the stairs, in an extraordinary straight line, humming loudly to herself. Then she started to sing, and the noise echoed through the entire apartment building.
"Well, things can be broken down in this world of ours, you don't have to be a famous person just to make a mark," she sang in a shrill voice.
"Hey, boys," she greeted the turtles as she sneaked up on them, rounding the corner and going into the alley. "Care for some lettuce?"
They looked at her, dumbfounded. "Drunk," Raph mumbled, and the others nodded.
"Actually, I'm not drunk, just insane," Maylynn said seriously and gave them a severe look.
She chewed thoughtfully on the lettuce, looking up the window she'd
just been hanging from.
"It's a long way up there, don't you think so too?" she kept staring
at the window.
Zet popped his head out of the window, and yelled down at Maylynn."Oh hoho, waddaya know, there were some turtles down there!" he laughed.
The turtles glanced at each other. "Did we miss anything?" Don raised an eyeridge.
"Yeah, you've almost missed Buffy The Vampire Slayer," Zet laughed again.
"C'mon, Maylynn, hurry up," he waved at Maylynn, "and bring those guys,
too, will ya?"
Maylynn dried her eyes and sobbed into Zet's lap. "God, that was so sad...poor Angel and poor Buffy," Zet commented and patted Maylynn's head. "There, there, Lynni," he comforted her.
Leo was chewing on some lettuce, Don was busy studying the enourmous fish tank in the middle of the room, Mike was watching Buffy, and Raph was making a grimace at the rests of Zet's big vegetable buffet.
"This is all too weird," Raph muttered. "So, Maylynn, for how long have you been insane?" he said loudly.
Maylynn frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said and walked over to the TV, turning it off. Raph rolled his eyes and dropped a ruined carrot into the garbage crusher. He didn't like the way it sounded.
"What do you do, Zet?" Don wondered, still gazing at the swimming fishes, the light reflecting off them, making them seem to be made of gold.
"I work," Zet grinned, "I've paid for this apartment myself."
Mike gave a low whistle. "You must have a huge salary!"
"Yeah, but what is your occupation?" Don inquired.
Zet squirmed a little in his seat. "I make a lot of money," he said.
"Don't you understand my question?" Don asked, finally turning his attention away from the fishes.
"I'm in the media," Zet said shortly, and Don decided to leave it alone.
"Zet," Maylynn said, "what would you say if I said I wasn't going to scream?"
"I'd probably--" Zet began and glanced at the window, where he saw Maylynn's hair disappear over the edge.
Raph and Leo hurried over to the window and looked down. "Holy sh--" cursed Leo under his breath.
"Maylynn," Zet said, "why are there turtles in my mineshaft?"
Yeah, this is a really weird story-- I know! I was bored in my math
class, so I started writing something instead.
By the way, it's meant to be weird! Hehe.
Get me back to Short
Weird Things ...And Another Fic Was Born In The Still Of The Forest
Get
me back to Fan Fiction.
Get me back to that psychotic girl's-- I mean Lola
Cubish's TMNT Sewer Lair.