Chapter 1: Yami Bakura: Shrink and Psychiatrist
~ Scene: A Dark Room~
Yugi: I don't like it... It's dark...
Yami: Aww come on, didn't that duel with Panik teach you anything??? The dark is nothing to be afraid of!
Yugi: Nope. I was sitting safe in my soul-room playing with my pretty duel monster cards! ^__^
Yami: *sigh*
Téa: Don't worry, you're friends are there!
Seto: Shit for brains, shut up!
Téa: ~Shuts up~
Bakura: ~comes into room~ Alright people listen up. The author has promised me some cash if I give you idiots psychological help.
Yami: Help? Why would 'I' need help? I DON'T NEED PSYCOLOGICAL HELP!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........
Téa: Can't we all just be friends?
Everyone Except Yami: O.O
DMGal: As Bakura was saying, you are all in desperate need of a shrink.
Joey: Not Yugi, he's short enough already!
Seto: Shrink means psychiatrist, you stupid mutt
Joey: Say that one more time and I'm gonna kick your *beep*ing *beep*!!!
Ryou: Who turned the swear control on?
DMGal: I did
Ryou: Cool! Now I can swear and not swear!!! *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Everyone except Bakura: O.O'
DMGal: I'll leave you to it. ~Leaves~
Seto: Now what?
Bakura: I give you psychological help. Who's first?
EVOE Joey: ~Step back~
Bakura: I guess it's the dog going first.
Joey: What?!
Seto: Awww... Don't tell me that the wittle chwawa is afwade...
Joey: Why, you little... I'll show him! Fine I'm first!
Yami: 'Unlike you, Joey, I value my life...' --.—'
Seto: 'sucker'
Bakura: Take a seat Wheeler...
Joey: fine... ~sits on a comfy armchair~
Bakura: Hmmmmmm... Your problem is simple. You're feeling of inferior-ness towards Seto Kaiba.
Joey: Oh yeah? Prove it!
Bakura: Very well. Tell me about your dreams.
Joey: eh? Well, there was this one where I was being chased by a giant Blue- Eyes White Dragon, and Kaiba was there, and I was wearing a *shudder* doggy suit...
~Silence~
Joey: And then I woke up.
Seto+Bakura: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: You're supposed to be helping me, not make things worse!!!
Bakura: Sorry
Seto: Lemme guess, this occurred after I defeated you with my new HoloDiscs?
Joey: No one asked you, Moneybags
Bakura: Ok, lemme get straight to the point. You are suffering from a huge inferiority complex to Seto Kaiba. Your self-esteem is low, and you are trying desperately to disguise it by hiding under a tough, determined fearless façade.
Joey: That is so not true!
Bakura: You see, there it is now. Just admit it. You're scared of Kaiba.
Joey: Yes, it's true V.V'
Seto: MUA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bakura: Though there is something else. Like dogs, Joey has some that motivates him not to give up. A.k.a, his sister. Without her, Joey would have lost every single duel!
Everyone Except Bakura and Joey: O.O'
Seto: You have a point there.
Bakura: Ok next.
Joey: ~sitting alone in a corner~
Ryou: Aren't you going to help him?
Yugi: Maybe...
Ryou: ~Animé fall~
Bakura: Next up is... Ghetto Kaiba
Seto: What? ME? ME? MEEEEE??? I don't need a physiatrist, thank you very much!
Bakura: Listen, high priest, I hate this idea as much as you do, but in order to get my money, I need to help you all!
Seto: I know that the doors are locked because I tried to get out earlier, so fine. But make this quick. I'm late for a meeting with industrial illusions USA.
Bakura: Ok. What is the first thing that comes to your head when you see... ~takes out laptop with an image of a heart~ this.
Seto: Love
Bakura: Good alright how 'bout this one ~changes image to three droplets~
Seto: Serenity
Joey: WHAT??? YOU'RE DATING MY SISTER, MONEYBAGS??? LAY OFF SERENITY!!!
Seto: No, you idiot I mean serenity as in sincere
Joey: ooooooo
Bakura: ~Changes image to BEWD~
Seto: ~starts drooling~ power...
Bakura: ~changes image to star~
Seto: Me
Bakura: ~changes image to ¥ (YEN) symbol~
Seto: MONEY!!! $.$
DMGal: ~Appears~ Aw come on, just hurry up, and get to the point!!!
Bakura: Fine then
DMGal: Good. ~Walks out of the room~
Bakura: ~holds up picture of bunny rabbit~
Seto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL PINK BUNNIES, STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: ~doodling on notepad~ Yes, Seto Kaiba suffers from a personal response mechanism due to negative reinforcement of pink bunnies. He associates this image with a greater entity, namely Maximillion Pegasus, therefore invoking fear and causing him to scream said personal response mechanism every time he sees it.
Joey: Cool! ~in very stupid voice~ HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA!
Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVIL PINK BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: Oh yes, there is something else too. ~Holds up pixy stix~
Seto: *gasp* How DARE you, SUGAR MUST DIE!!! DON'T YOU WHAT IT DOES TO CHILDREN??? *shudders*
EVOE Bakura and Seto: O.O'
Bakura: Seto also suffers from a phobia of kids going hyper. In his case, Mokuba. Seto tries hard to avoid Mokuba consuming too much sugar, but Mokuba's sheer cuteness prevents that. Therefore, there is no cure. Next!
Yami: ~Pushed Ryou in front~
Ryou: Don't let him hurt me!!!
Bakura: SILENCE, WEAKL-I mean, let's start with a period of silence, to reflect on our own inner struggle.
Seto: ~laughs~ You've got to be kidding!
Joey: Look out, Kaiba. The pink bunnies are coming.
Seto: AAAAAAAA! WHERE? HUH? ~glares at Joey~ You are so dead, mutt.
Bakura: Hello Hikari... Sit down. Now, what are you afraid of?
Ryou: Yo-
Bakura: Besides the obvious.
Ryou: Well, um... sometimes... I think... I DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE!!! WAAHHHHHHH
Bakura: O.o' Well, erm... why do you say that?
Ryou: I mean, come on! I went to Duelist Kingdom just for fun! Doesn't ANYONE remember I can duel too? It's always YOU dueling. I want to duel too. I know as much about duel monsters as Yugi and Yami, perhaps even more!!! *sniffle* But why? I'm always on the sidelines cheering Yugi and Joey on!
Yugi: *gasp*
Yami: *gasp*
Seto: *gasp*
Joey: *gasp*
Téa: Aww, come on, Ryou. You do have a purpose. We are your friends, and friends help each-other. So don't feel bad, because you do have a purpose! Even I don't know my purpose just yet!
Ryou: *sniff* Thanks Téa, I needed that. ^__^
Seto: I thought I told you to shut up.
Téa: Oh yeah... ~shuts up when Kaiba glares at her~
Bakura: Cool! I didn't have to help my wimpy hikari after all! Téa did!
Joey: HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA!
Seto: EVIL PINK BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: Heh heh heh...
Seto: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: Ok now, a very interesting case... Téa sit on the chair and tell me about your relationship towards your friends.
Téa: Well, as I was telling Ryou, I don't think I have a real purpose either! Just a cheerleader encouraging Yugi and Joey and anyone else on! Is that it? Is that my purpose???
Bakura: ~Puts on reading glasses and takes notes~ Hmmm I see, like Joey, the friendship speeches is just a façade. Though what it actually shows is pure loneliness. Ryou'd better listen too. These 'friendship speeches' show that you yourself is longing for your friends to say that to you. Unfortunately, that will never happen, so I suggest you give up your friendship speeches, and be yourself.
Téa: ~nodds~ be myself... DIE ALL OF YOU, DIE!!!
Bakura: She is cured. Now, Yami, feel my wrath! Um I mean take a seat...
Yami: Aw man! ~sits on a chair~
Bakura: Now, tell me Pharaoh, what were your parents like?
Yami: Uhhh... I can't remember
Bakura: Try harder
Yami: erm... okey. They were rich.
Yugi: That's it???
Yami: Uh huh.
Bakura: HA! I knew it! YOUR FATHER WAS RICH, SO HE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO KILL ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY VILLAGE!!!
Yami: ~shrugs~
Ryou: -_-' I wouldn't mind sending you to a shrink...
Bakura: Whatever. Now, last but not least, Yugi!
Yugi: ~sits on a chair knowing very well what everyone else did~ So, what are you going to do?
Bakura: Let's talk.
Yugi: About what?
Bakura: Anything. I just want to get something cool out of you.
Yugi: Okay. ~Whispers in Y/B's ear~ You know Joey and Tristan snore?
Bakura: ~evil grin~ Really...
~10 mins later~
Bakura: Ok we are done. ~Puts on sunglasses and opens the door to tons of sunlight~
Joey: Nice shades, Yami B!
Yugi: Yeah they look good!
Bakura: Thank you, Idiot 2.
Yami: What shades? I don't see shades?
Yugi: I already told you, Yami. You need glasses! Come closer.
Yami: ~Walks closer so he and Yami Bakura are nose to nose~ Wow cool! Yugi, get me a pair!
Yugi: Actually, Yami I think it was time for us all to get jobs. To contribute to society.
Yami: No way!
Bakura: Idiot 1 has a point there.
Yugi+Ryou: ~puppy dog eyes~ pweeeeeese???
Yami: fine.
Bakura: Whatever... I still need more money anyways.
Yugi: Great! So let's all get jobs!
Seto: Not me, I already HAVE a job.
Ryou: Great, then it's settled! Tomorrow we will all get jobs. Then once we get our salary, We, the Hikaris won't have to pay our Yami's expenses! Furthermore, we can have a giant shopping spree!
Yami: Yay leather!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dark-Magician-Gal: So what do think? Update? Discontinue? Delete?
Please Review!
~ Scene: A Dark Room~
Yugi: I don't like it... It's dark...
Yami: Aww come on, didn't that duel with Panik teach you anything??? The dark is nothing to be afraid of!
Yugi: Nope. I was sitting safe in my soul-room playing with my pretty duel monster cards! ^__^
Yami: *sigh*
Téa: Don't worry, you're friends are there!
Seto: Shit for brains, shut up!
Téa: ~Shuts up~
Bakura: ~comes into room~ Alright people listen up. The author has promised me some cash if I give you idiots psychological help.
Yami: Help? Why would 'I' need help? I DON'T NEED PSYCOLOGICAL HELP!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........
Téa: Can't we all just be friends?
Everyone Except Yami: O.O
DMGal: As Bakura was saying, you are all in desperate need of a shrink.
Joey: Not Yugi, he's short enough already!
Seto: Shrink means psychiatrist, you stupid mutt
Joey: Say that one more time and I'm gonna kick your *beep*ing *beep*!!!
Ryou: Who turned the swear control on?
DMGal: I did
Ryou: Cool! Now I can swear and not swear!!! *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Everyone except Bakura: O.O'
DMGal: I'll leave you to it. ~Leaves~
Seto: Now what?
Bakura: I give you psychological help. Who's first?
EVOE Joey: ~Step back~
Bakura: I guess it's the dog going first.
Joey: What?!
Seto: Awww... Don't tell me that the wittle chwawa is afwade...
Joey: Why, you little... I'll show him! Fine I'm first!
Yami: 'Unlike you, Joey, I value my life...' --.—'
Seto: 'sucker'
Bakura: Take a seat Wheeler...
Joey: fine... ~sits on a comfy armchair~
Bakura: Hmmmmmm... Your problem is simple. You're feeling of inferior-ness towards Seto Kaiba.
Joey: Oh yeah? Prove it!
Bakura: Very well. Tell me about your dreams.
Joey: eh? Well, there was this one where I was being chased by a giant Blue- Eyes White Dragon, and Kaiba was there, and I was wearing a *shudder* doggy suit...
~Silence~
Joey: And then I woke up.
Seto+Bakura: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: You're supposed to be helping me, not make things worse!!!
Bakura: Sorry
Seto: Lemme guess, this occurred after I defeated you with my new HoloDiscs?
Joey: No one asked you, Moneybags
Bakura: Ok, lemme get straight to the point. You are suffering from a huge inferiority complex to Seto Kaiba. Your self-esteem is low, and you are trying desperately to disguise it by hiding under a tough, determined fearless façade.
Joey: That is so not true!
Bakura: You see, there it is now. Just admit it. You're scared of Kaiba.
Joey: Yes, it's true V.V'
Seto: MUA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bakura: Though there is something else. Like dogs, Joey has some that motivates him not to give up. A.k.a, his sister. Without her, Joey would have lost every single duel!
Everyone Except Bakura and Joey: O.O'
Seto: You have a point there.
Bakura: Ok next.
Joey: ~sitting alone in a corner~
Ryou: Aren't you going to help him?
Yugi: Maybe...
Ryou: ~Animé fall~
Bakura: Next up is... Ghetto Kaiba
Seto: What? ME? ME? MEEEEE??? I don't need a physiatrist, thank you very much!
Bakura: Listen, high priest, I hate this idea as much as you do, but in order to get my money, I need to help you all!
Seto: I know that the doors are locked because I tried to get out earlier, so fine. But make this quick. I'm late for a meeting with industrial illusions USA.
Bakura: Ok. What is the first thing that comes to your head when you see... ~takes out laptop with an image of a heart~ this.
Seto: Love
Bakura: Good alright how 'bout this one ~changes image to three droplets~
Seto: Serenity
Joey: WHAT??? YOU'RE DATING MY SISTER, MONEYBAGS??? LAY OFF SERENITY!!!
Seto: No, you idiot I mean serenity as in sincere
Joey: ooooooo
Bakura: ~Changes image to BEWD~
Seto: ~starts drooling~ power...
Bakura: ~changes image to star~
Seto: Me
Bakura: ~changes image to ¥ (YEN) symbol~
Seto: MONEY!!! $.$
DMGal: ~Appears~ Aw come on, just hurry up, and get to the point!!!
Bakura: Fine then
DMGal: Good. ~Walks out of the room~
Bakura: ~holds up picture of bunny rabbit~
Seto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL PINK BUNNIES, STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: ~doodling on notepad~ Yes, Seto Kaiba suffers from a personal response mechanism due to negative reinforcement of pink bunnies. He associates this image with a greater entity, namely Maximillion Pegasus, therefore invoking fear and causing him to scream said personal response mechanism every time he sees it.
Joey: Cool! ~in very stupid voice~ HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA, HEY KAIBA!
Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVIL PINK BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: Oh yes, there is something else too. ~Holds up pixy stix~
Seto: *gasp* How DARE you, SUGAR MUST DIE!!! DON'T YOU WHAT IT DOES TO CHILDREN??? *shudders*
EVOE Bakura and Seto: O.O'
Bakura: Seto also suffers from a phobia of kids going hyper. In his case, Mokuba. Seto tries hard to avoid Mokuba consuming too much sugar, but Mokuba's sheer cuteness prevents that. Therefore, there is no cure. Next!
Yami: ~Pushed Ryou in front~
Ryou: Don't let him hurt me!!!
Bakura: SILENCE, WEAKL-I mean, let's start with a period of silence, to reflect on our own inner struggle.
Seto: ~laughs~ You've got to be kidding!
Joey: Look out, Kaiba. The pink bunnies are coming.
Seto: AAAAAAAA! WHERE? HUH? ~glares at Joey~ You are so dead, mutt.
Bakura: Hello Hikari... Sit down. Now, what are you afraid of?
Ryou: Yo-
Bakura: Besides the obvious.
Ryou: Well, um... sometimes... I think... I DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE!!! WAAHHHHHHH
Bakura: O.o' Well, erm... why do you say that?
Ryou: I mean, come on! I went to Duelist Kingdom just for fun! Doesn't ANYONE remember I can duel too? It's always YOU dueling. I want to duel too. I know as much about duel monsters as Yugi and Yami, perhaps even more!!! *sniffle* But why? I'm always on the sidelines cheering Yugi and Joey on!
Yugi: *gasp*
Yami: *gasp*
Seto: *gasp*
Joey: *gasp*
Téa: Aww, come on, Ryou. You do have a purpose. We are your friends, and friends help each-other. So don't feel bad, because you do have a purpose! Even I don't know my purpose just yet!
Ryou: *sniff* Thanks Téa, I needed that. ^__^
Seto: I thought I told you to shut up.
Téa: Oh yeah... ~shuts up when Kaiba glares at her~
Bakura: Cool! I didn't have to help my wimpy hikari after all! Téa did!
Joey: HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA! HEY KAIBA!
Seto: EVIL PINK BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: Heh heh heh...
Seto: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!
Bakura: Ok now, a very interesting case... Téa sit on the chair and tell me about your relationship towards your friends.
Téa: Well, as I was telling Ryou, I don't think I have a real purpose either! Just a cheerleader encouraging Yugi and Joey and anyone else on! Is that it? Is that my purpose???
Bakura: ~Puts on reading glasses and takes notes~ Hmmm I see, like Joey, the friendship speeches is just a façade. Though what it actually shows is pure loneliness. Ryou'd better listen too. These 'friendship speeches' show that you yourself is longing for your friends to say that to you. Unfortunately, that will never happen, so I suggest you give up your friendship speeches, and be yourself.
Téa: ~nodds~ be myself... DIE ALL OF YOU, DIE!!!
Bakura: She is cured. Now, Yami, feel my wrath! Um I mean take a seat...
Yami: Aw man! ~sits on a chair~
Bakura: Now, tell me Pharaoh, what were your parents like?
Yami: Uhhh... I can't remember
Bakura: Try harder
Yami: erm... okey. They were rich.
Yugi: That's it???
Yami: Uh huh.
Bakura: HA! I knew it! YOUR FATHER WAS RICH, SO HE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO KILL ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY VILLAGE!!!
Yami: ~shrugs~
Ryou: -_-' I wouldn't mind sending you to a shrink...
Bakura: Whatever. Now, last but not least, Yugi!
Yugi: ~sits on a chair knowing very well what everyone else did~ So, what are you going to do?
Bakura: Let's talk.
Yugi: About what?
Bakura: Anything. I just want to get something cool out of you.
Yugi: Okay. ~Whispers in Y/B's ear~ You know Joey and Tristan snore?
Bakura: ~evil grin~ Really...
~10 mins later~
Bakura: Ok we are done. ~Puts on sunglasses and opens the door to tons of sunlight~
Joey: Nice shades, Yami B!
Yugi: Yeah they look good!
Bakura: Thank you, Idiot 2.
Yami: What shades? I don't see shades?
Yugi: I already told you, Yami. You need glasses! Come closer.
Yami: ~Walks closer so he and Yami Bakura are nose to nose~ Wow cool! Yugi, get me a pair!
Yugi: Actually, Yami I think it was time for us all to get jobs. To contribute to society.
Yami: No way!
Bakura: Idiot 1 has a point there.
Yugi+Ryou: ~puppy dog eyes~ pweeeeeese???
Yami: fine.
Bakura: Whatever... I still need more money anyways.
Yugi: Great! So let's all get jobs!
Seto: Not me, I already HAVE a job.
Ryou: Great, then it's settled! Tomorrow we will all get jobs. Then once we get our salary, We, the Hikaris won't have to pay our Yami's expenses! Furthermore, we can have a giant shopping spree!
Yami: Yay leather!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dark-Magician-Gal: So what do think? Update? Discontinue? Delete?
Please Review!