Lani: Well, this is a kind of silly, old fanfic of mine that I decided to post anyway because hey, it's Mogi. Mogi needs more love!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, but I do know Mogi's birthday is July 12 according to book 13!
"Guess what everyone?!"
L and Light looked up from the computer. Matsuda bounded into the room, grinning from ear to ear as he announced importantly, "It's Mogi's birthday tomorrow!"
. . . .
L spun in his chair, dragging Light in circles with him because of the chain. L finally stopped spinning to stare blankly at Matsuda. "What," he began softly (ignoring Light's indignation at being jerked around in such an undignified manner), "does this have to do with the Kira case?"
Matsuda scoffed like this was the most obvious thing in the world and surely the genius L should know this, "Well, we're going to throw him a birthday party of course."
The room went dark, silent, and cold. L's eyes hardened. He asked slowly, as if the fate of the world depended on Matsuda's answer, "Will there be . . . cake?"
Matsuda blinked. "Um, yeah, there will be."
L jumped to his feet (yanking a disgruntled Light up with him). L declared with his face set in determination, "Let's get this party started."
"Hey, Misa-Misa, can we trust you with the decorating?"
"Yes! Matsuda-san can trust Misa-Misa with anything!"
"That's great! Matsuda-Matsuda's so pleased to hear that!"
"MATSUDA cut it out!"
"Oh, Light-kun, don't be so hard on the retard."
"Ryuuzaki, that's cruel . . ."
Misa hummed to herself as she hung up streamers and signs. Light steadied the ladder she was standing on while he tried to blow up balloons. Ryuuzaki monitored all this carefully, patiently waiting in his rolling chair for Watari to finish all the baking so that he could taste-test the sweets. Aizawa carried in tables from the storage, casting irritable glances at Ryuuzaki, who technically wasn't working at all. Matsuda bounced about excitedly with a list of things that needed to be done, as he too monitored everything and technically did nothing productive.
Mr. Yagami came in, looking vaguely annoyed. "This doesn't look like a police headquarters anymore . . ."
Matsuda chirped, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, eh?"
Mr. Yagami ignored that, and instead asked, "What are you all going to get him? You know, as gifts?"
. . . Silence . . .
Matsuda scratched the back of his head. "I really didn't think of that."
"Retard."
"Be nice to me, Ryuuzaki!"
"Oooo, Misa-Misa thinks that rhymes!"
The whole police team headed out to Law-Mart. L immediately drifted off to the candy aisle (sadly, Watari was too busy baking to go with them, so L was alone).
Everyone agreed to split up and comb through Law-Mart for gifts that Mogi would like. Of course everyone was going to give him a gift, but it was hard to think of something for the silent man.
L was on his own, Light, Misa, and Matsuda were in a group, and Aizawa and Mr. Yagami went off together.
Oh, and they had to take the chain temporarily off Light and L because people would give them odd looks if they saw two guys chained to each other going down the candy aisle.
WITH LIGHT, MISA, AND MATSUDA
"WHAT ABOUT THIS, LIGHT?!"
Light twitched at all the stares people were giving them. Matsuda nervously laughed at the swimsuit. He said, "Um, I can't imagine Mogi wearing that . . ."
Misa sulked. "But, but -! Misa-Misa thinks it'd look good on Light – I mean . . . Mogi!"
Light browsed idly. He flipped through several racks of clothes. Matsuda had a point; nothing in the swimsuit section really suited Mogi.
Matsuda sighed in defeat. "Let's check another section . . ." Suddenly he perked up with a look of absolute triumph on his face. He said over his shoulder as he hurried off, "I'll be right back! I just had a brilliant idea! Just wait right there, okay?!"
Misa waved and cooed, "Okay!" She latched onto Light's arm. "Alone at last, ne, Light?" she purred.
Light almost crapped his pants, which meant he really wasn't lying when he said he had to use the bathroom. He hurried in the direction of the restrooms only to veer off to the men's clothes section when he was out of Misa's line of sight.
Light sighed in relief. He began to flip through some hangers of dress shirts. Hey, while he was here, he might as well browse for himself too, right?
Suddenly though, when he pushed aside a bunch of hangers, he saw something in the center of the circular clothes rack that made him shudder.
L stared up at him with big, big eyes. He was hunched over in the small area in the middle, sucking on a strawberry Popsicle. "Hello, Light-kun," he mumbled around it.
Light asked, weirded out, "How'd you get in there?! And did you STEAL that Popsicle?!"
"Of course not, Light-kun. They're handing them out for free over there, if you want one."
Light glanced over to where he indicated, only to see nothing but children gathered around a table. How weird L must've looked, the only adult asking for one! Light felt so embarrassed for him.
L continued, "As for your first question, the answer hardly matters now. You see, I'm stuck."
. . . .
"Ah-ha-ha-ha," Light's laugh was fairly eerie (and sinister), "that's funny! I could've sworn you just said that you were stuck in a store's clothes rack! IN PUBLIC! Gee whiz, that's so hysterical; you're killing me, Ryuuzaki!"
L looked vaguely confused. "What are you talking about Light-kun? I just got done saying the exact same words."
"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"
Light halted his mad brigade of screeching however, for the sales clerk was casting him odd glances, as if it was abnormal for someone to be screaming at a clothes rack.
Light felt furiously embarrassed. Couldn't that clerk see L in the center, sitting right there?!
The world was working against him today.
Light pulled on L's head. L said in concern, "That hurts, don't do that, you're pulling out my hair!"
Light snarled, "You've got enough fluff on this head, it wouldn't hurt you to lose a couple locks!"
L sucked on his Popsicle miserably.
Finally, the sales clerk had all she could take. "Um, excuse me, sir?" She tapped lightly on Light's shoulder.
He turned his head, his foot still propped up on Ryuuzaki's shoulder and his hands still full of Ryuuzaki fluff. "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am," he said smoothly and charismatically, little sparkles floating around his handsome face, "am I bothering you?"
The girl turned an interesting shade of red. L glanced between her and his Popsicle. Gee, the color was awful similar . . .
The clerk stuttered, twiddling her hair shyly, "Oh, n-no! I was only wondering if everything was okay over here – oh my, what is that thing stuck in the clothes rack?!"
"Actually," Light chuckled – sounding like an angel, "I'm not quite sure myself. I thought I'd rid your store of it."
L's expression turned very disgruntled very quickly. "Unhand me, Light-kun."
The girl giggled, completely ignoring L even though Light looked just as conspicuous, with his foot propped on L's shoulder and his hands STILL full of hair. "Oh," she laughed quietly, "so you're name's Light-san, is that right?"
"Why, yes it is. And what is your name?"
L felt ill. Light's comments had actually stung.
He had a brilliant idea for vengeance.
He took his Popsicle out of his mouth, inhaled deeply, and then shouted, "MISA, LIGHT-KUN'S FLIRTING WITH A SALES CLERK!"
Everyone in the store looked in Light's direction, narrowed their eyes, and hissed, "CHEATER . . ."
Misa's howl of anger could be heard for miles. "IT'S NOT LIGHT'S FAULT, IT'S THE WITCH-WHO'S-HARASSING-HIM'S FAULT! DON'T WORRY LIGHT; MISA-MISA WILL SAVE YOU!!"
Light glared death at L, while L innocently licked his Popsicle.
MEANWHILE, SOMEONE REMEMBERS IT'S MOGI'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW . . . .
Mr. Yagami and Aizawa aimlessly wandered from aisle to aisle in silence. Occasionally the question, "How 'bout that?" and the response, ". . . Nope." would break the silence.
Suddenly, though, they were saved from their pit of awkward no-conversation by Matsuda. He went bounding up to them, a goofy grin on his face. He held a box that was wrapped in gift wrapping paper. Mr. Yagami asked, "What's that?"
Matsuda giggled, "It's my gift to Mogi! I think he'll like it."
Aizawa asked curiously, "Well, what is it?"
"You'll hafta wait 'n see!"
As the three walked along together, they saw Light and L and this random store chick and Misa.
L was in the middle of a circular clothes rack with a Popsicle hanging out of his mouth. Light was pulling on his hair, apparently trying to get him out.
Misa and the store chick were in a catfight. But before the cops could do anything about it, the clerk ran off, Misa shrieking after her, "THAT'S RIGHT, LIGHT IS MISA-MISA'S!!"
Aizawa gave a low whistle. Mr. Yagami rubbed his forehead and muttered, "Do I even want to know . . .?"
Matsuda stuttered, "Probably not."
AFTER UN-STICKING L BY RESORTING TO A CROWBAR, EVERYONE GOT BACK ON TRACK AND FINISHED SHOPPING.
THE NEXT DAY . . . .
"Okay, on the count of three, we'll pounce him and shriek the song 'Happy Birthday to You' in our most annoying Alvin and the Chipmunks voices, okay?"
L blinked from his position underneath the table. He lifted the tablecloth slightly to stare up at them all. "What kind of plan is that?"
Matsuda scowled from his position underneath the rug. He whined, "Shush, just wing with it, okay? And Watari, hurry and finish putting all the cakes and stuff out!"
L salivated slightly at the thought of all the plump sweets resting above his head. He trembled.
Light gave him an odd look. He and Misa lurked behind the open door. Mr. Yagami was ducking behind the computer desk, and Aizawa and Watari both hid behind the cake and present table.
Now all they had to do was wait for Mogi to show his face . . .
WITH MOGI – SUPPOSEDLY ANOTHER TYPICAL DAY AT WORK
Mogi stiffly walked down the halls, glancing around, feeling slightly nervous. What happened to everyone? Was there a sudden meeting and he missed it? But wait, wouldn't they tell him about stuff like that beforehand?
Finally Mogi saw a room with a light on. The door hung wide open.
He started to sweat. Did Kira get everyone?!
Mogi entered the room. He saw balloons, ribbons, banners, a giant sign that had everyone's signatures on it (L just put "Ryuuzaki," as you know) and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOGI! WITH LOVE, FROM HQ," and a long table with a white tablecloth and tons of cakes and presents on top of it.
Then he was knocked off of his feet by a bunch of people tackling him, shrieking in incredibly high-pitched and squeaky voices, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MOGI . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"
After they screeched at him, Mogi heard Matsuda squawk irritably, "Ryuuzaki! Why didn't you sing in a chipmunk voice like I told you to?"
He heard Ryuuzaki reply in that familiar monotone, "My voice can't go that high."
Mogi gripped his chest. He fell onto his back. Someone shouted, "OMG, he had a HEART ATTACK!"
"KIRA DID IT!"
"NO I – HE DIDN'T!" he heard Light exclaim.
Eventually, Mogi got over his shock and awakened.
Later, after everyone had eaten cake and talked and whatnot, they were all seated around the white table. L still stuffed his face with cake, but the rest of them were done, and the only things remaining on the table were the presents.
Light handed Mogi the first gift. "It's from Aizawa," he said.
Mogi opened it, a smile on his face. It was a new tie that had little cows with goofy eyes printed across it.
Light handed him the next one. "From Watari," Light said.
A beautifully decorated cake. L moaned in envy.
The third gift. "From me."
New dress shoes.
The fourth. "From Dad."
A . . . waffle iron?
Mr. Yagami shrugged at Mogi's questioning look. "Hey," the chief defended, "never know when you'll need it during a case."
Matsuda laughed. "What for? Will Kira need us to fix breakfast for him?"
Everyone laughed. Well, except Light; he actually seemed to be nervously chuckling.
The fifth gift. "From Misa."
Everyone – especially Mogi – blanched at the swimsuit.
Misa giggled. "I thought it'd look good on Ligh – Oh, Misa means you."
Shaking his head, Mogi placed THAT gift aside and took the sixth one from Light.
Mogi opened Ryuuzaki's gift and cracked a tiny smile. He should've known that the great detective would give him a dessert cookbook.
And finally Mogi took Matsuda's gift.
When Mogi opened it, everyone stared at it. Then they turned and stared at Matsuda.
Light asked slowly, "Why did you give him a 'Learn How to Use Sign Language' kit?"
Matsuda uneasily chuckled. "So that he can finally communicate with us?"
L threw a spoon at Matsuda's head. "Retard!"
FIN
Lani: I have nothing against Matsuda. Seriously.