This is my 'I'm sorry I've been gone for so long' Fic. unfortunately I've been studying and doing exams for the past month! AND I still have more to do so this fic is just to let you all know that I've not disappeared for life!

I thought of this while listening to mushy songs. I can't imagine what Splinter must go through every time his sons go out.

enjoy xx

My Children

I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as my sons rushed about around me though I managed to hide it with a stern look, they had to do this and I was not allowed to help them.. they must learn to do this as a team without a parent.

I must let them go.

I want to hold them in my arms, keep my babies safe.. They would never let me do so.

They're going to go out and fight my greatest enemy for, what I hope will be, the last time. I wish I had never started this.. I don't want them to go out fighting, killing. They're only children and yet.. they're so grown up.. I'm so proud of them.. I hope they know this.

''See ya Sensei'' Raphael calls to me with a determined grin.

''Good luck my sons'' I nod softly, Leonardo and Donatello bow and make their way after Raphael. I notice Michelangelo step towards me. ''Hurry Michelangelo.. Your brothers need you''

''Don't worry Sensei'' Michelangelo hugs me tightly, I hug him back. ''We'll be fine! and we'll have your choice of pizza when we get back!''

''Ok'' I smile feeling a little choked up, ''Be careful''

Michelangelo flashes me his childish grin before rushing after his brothers.

I sit down in my armchair and turn on the television, I hug a cushion close to my chest and pray for my sons. They have to come home.. they're too young to be killed.

I close my eyes and try to remember the days where my precious children were safe and ignorant to the dangerous life they were destined to live.

I go into my room and look under my bed. I eventually find a little wooden box with the Hamato family crest carved into the lid, I carry it back to my armchair and settle down before opening it. It's filled with photographs of my sons. I'm still grateful I managed to find that camera.

I remember looking down at the tiny things when we were first mutated.. They cried so pitifully except Raphael, yes.. he just looked straight at me with such a worried expression. It was like he didn't understand why his brothers were crying!

I can't believe I actually considered leaving them.. I'm so glad I wasn't so foolish.

My babies were never away from my side.. all they wanted was to be near me unlike now. Leonardo and Michelangelo are still very close to me but they too enjoy their independence.

Leonardo was the first to walk.. Donatello was the first to talk and Raphael was always smiling. Michelangelo.. I was so worried for him.. he was the last to do all of these things.. he became ill so many times.

So many memories..

My eldest was so well behaved.. he enjoyed his ninjutsu lessons and never complained about the lack of food. Raphael dragged him into so much trouble, they were best friends.. why do they fight so much now? Leonardo grew up without even knowing the responsibility he'd have to face.. He wanted to be leader but it's changed him so much. My poor boy.

Raphael used to be such a happy child.. he became rougher as he grew up. he fought more with his brothers, There was always something about him though.. something that showed us all just how much he cared for us.

Donatello.. so quiet, shy.. He hid away from all of us for so long. he tried to hide his interests but I knew of his intelligence, I'm glad that he accepts himself now. He's done so much for all of us, his wonderful contraptions.. I'm glad that I was the one he told everything to.

My youngest.. my baby boy who still acts like a little child. Michelangelo has always been so enthusiastic about everything but.. He was always hurting himself through his energy. Every time he did I used to sing him a lullaby... Why don't I do that anymore? Michelangelo is always targeted by the enemy because they know he's the way through to his brothers.. he's hurt a lot and yet none of us have really shown much interest in him when he's lying in bed injured.

We're a close family.. we need each other to survive.

They think they need me but it's clear to me that I need them a lot more than they need me.

It's been three hours and all I've done is pray and look through pictures of my children. I hope they're ok.

The yells of my sons causes me to drop the photos and look up in alarm.

Leonardo leads his brothers closer to me and they kneel in front of me, Their injuries look painful.

''Sensei..'' Leonardo begins sadly. ''I'm sorry but.. we failed.. I failed''

I look at the four of them as they bow their heads, they look so ashamed.

''Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo. Please. Go to the infirmary and patch yourselves up'' They nod and stand up. ''Do not worry. You have not failed me''

They nod and send a worried look to Leonardo who still has not moved. Once they are gone I put my hand on my son's shoulder, he looks up at me guiltily.

''My son. It is alright. You have not failed me'' I smile gently.

''But-'' Leonardo yelps, I push his chin up to look me in the eyes.

''You and your brothers are home and that is all I wanted'' I nod, ''Now go to the infirmary'' Leonardo smiles and nods before joining his brothers.

I collect all the photos and return them to their box, I thank the lord for bringing them home safely. I finally feel like I can breathe again.

I pick up the box and walk to the door to the infirmary, I can hear the boys yelling at one another and I sigh. I push open the door and the yelling stops, they're all sending glares to each other from their beds. Most of which were going to Michelangelo.

''May I ask why you're all fighting?'' I ask quietly.

''Cause we lost!'' Raphael growls, ''We lost to the Shredder and got the snot kicked out of us!''

They all nod/

''Boys.'' I frown, ''You should not be fighting, you all could have died tonight. The fact that you all came home alive is enough success, If any of you had died then yes. I would understand your misery but you're alive, be thankful for that! I know I am''

They nod but they still glare at Michelangelo who now looks guilty and upset.

''If Mikey hadn't got himself caught then maybe we would've won'' Raphael hisses.

''Michelangelo'' I look to him and I notice there is a cut on his neck and a lot of bruising. I walk up to him and lift his chin. Michelangelo's breathing sounds very painful.

His breath is coming out roughly now that I've raised his chin, my other sons are now looking at us in concern. It sounds like Michelangelo is suffocating. I let go of his chin and he looks at me through sad eyes.

''Can you breathe my son?'' I ask worriedly.

''N-Not really S-sensei'' He replies. I don't like the way his voice sounds.

''What happened to him?'' I ask, the other boys are staring at us in horror.

''You said your throat felt fine!'' Donatello yells, Michelangelo shrugs.

''When we were fighting Shredder.. Mikey went a little too close and Saki grabbed him by the throat and put a sword to it. We backed off and.. I don't think Shredder could resist. he finally had one of us at his mercy so he started strangling Mikey.. We manged to get him away but Mike fainted for a while'' Leonardo explains to me.

I go to the sink and fill a glass with water and hand it to Michelangelo. He smiles gratefully and drinks it slowly while wincing.

''Thanks Sensei'' He says quietly.

''I advise that you don't talk for a while Michelangelo.. I also think that you may be fainting a few times while you recover'' I nod, ''So you must stay here''

I go to my other sons and check their injuries, They'll all have to stay in the infirmary for a week.. maybe two.

I notice the other three are looking at Michelangelo worriedly.

''What's wrong?'' I ask.

''Mikey's asleep'' Donatello frowns. They watched Michelangelo's difficult breaths.

''He could've died tonight'' Leonardo sighs. ''We shouldn't be too hard on him''

Michelangelo's eyes flutter open as I sit on the edge of his bed and place the box on his nightstand.

''Look in there whenever it gets too painful for you'' I smile, Michelangelo nods before swallowing thickly.

''Sensei'' he frowns.

''Yes Michelangelo?'' I ask.

''I feel really dizzy'' He mumbles. I sigh and lie next to him on his bed, he hold onto me and I stroke his shell.

I remember the lullaby I used to sing for them when they were hurt..

''You are my sunshine..

My only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear

How much I love you.

Please don't take..

My sunshine..

Away'' I sang quietly, My four boys smiled at me before settling down to sleep.

''I love you all'' I smile as I turn off the light.

''We love you too'' They answer.

The lullaby wasn't originally gonna be in there but I remembered that both my mum and my grandma used to sing it to me so I figured it would make the fic a little bit cuter than it was gonna be! Please Review xx