Short fic for hunter x prompt : "Wait, did you just say you didn't know we were dating? What do you think we were doing this entire time!"
0o0o°o0o°o0o°o0o°
"C'mon, open your mouth. Haaaaaaaa…." says Hisoka waving the fork. A drop of sauce falled out on the immaculate tablecloth.
Chrollo chases away the food with the back of their hand.
"Stop this." they say, clearing their throat. "You're embarrassing."
"You don't like chicken ?" asks Hisoka, chewing with good appetite. "You're wrong. You can't only feed with sweets."
"You bet ?" answers Chrollo, trying to hold back their coughing. "I can't appreciate any food in these circumstances, anyway."
"What are you saying ?"
"I say - *cough cough* - I can't eat !"
"What ? I can't hear you !"
Chrollo takes a deep breath, inhales a puff of smoke and coughs until tears fills up their eyes. It's unnecessary to try to be heard anyway. Screams, cries of distress, calls for help are deafening. The Princes have already left the floor at the beginning of the fire, but the employees and poor hunters are still caught in the restaurant room where Hisoka gave a rendez-vous to Chrollo.
They came because they thought he would inform them. They were looking for the Troupe members. They all are missing and they wish they gathered them all in the same place before the ship definitely sank.
But the clown doesn't look like he cares about being roasted alive or drowning. He's looking at them with a charmed - and kinda stupid - smile and is not about to tell them anything but mushiness. Chrollo picks up a drop of whipped cream of their strawberries, licks it thoughtfully, tries to ignore the face Hisoka is making and stands up suddenly.
"What happens?" asks Hisoka, looking worried for the first time since the sinking started.
"I gonna look for them myself."
"You're leaving already ? But I put so much effort in our date ! I dressed up, I commanded you a sweets-only meal, I lighted the tallow candles, I locked up the Troupe in the hold, I…
"You what ?" says chrollo, narrowing their eyes.
"They always bother us ! You always complain I'm not romantic enough, so I watched romantic movies, I scuttled the ship, and I…"
"You *cough cough* are responsible for this too?"
"That's was happening in the movie !"
And while the ceiling was collapsing, a rush of fire consuming the floor, Chrollo's aura deploying out of anger, Hisoka decides it's not the right time to admit the fire started because he can't light up candles properly.
°o0o°o0o°o0o°o0o°o0o°
The water is icy cold. A thin crescent moon barely clears the ink dark night. Machi looks up at the stars. The smoke still masks the sky, but in a couple of minutes, she will be able to get her bearings.
"On your opinion Feitan, how far are we from the Dark Continent?"
A lapping approaches her.
"Can't tell" he says. "Maybe 2000km."
"2000km swimming?" comments Shizuku. "It will feel so long.'
"You have a better idea?" grumbled Phinks. "We don't even know where we are. We can't see shit."
A soft light suddenly catches their eyes. Chrollo is coming up to them, smoothly moving over the water, cross legged sat on a narrow craft.
"Ho, look" says Phinks. "Danchou built a raft."
"It's not a raft", says Machi narrowing her eyes."It's Hisoka."
It is. Hisoka is floating on his back, supporting Chrollo's weight, and seems to move by himself, making some "pot pot pot" noises, turning left and right guided by Chrollo's hand grabbing his…
"Rudder" says Machi.
"Yeah rudder. Definitely a rudder."
"But why is it glowing?"
"Shut up Shizuku" cut the entire Troupe in unison.
They swim to the light. Chrollo quickly counts them, and when they sees nobody is missing, tilts the definitely rudder in an acute angle and Hisoka effortlessly makes a 180° turn and moves forward.
Chrollo looks down to Hisoka's delighted face, oddly lightened.
"I hope you have an idea to clean up all the mess you created."
"The mess? Look how cute we are. Mommy and Daddy Duck taking around their nine little ducklings. Admit it's a very romantic date."
"I didn't know we were dating."
"What do you think we were doing this entire time?"
Chrollo rolls up their eyes, and leans the nothing-but-a-rudder forward. Hisoka, without moving a muscle, accelerates, guiding a Troupe swearing and cursing and giving him names, their scourge, their savior, their schwing in the night.
°o0o°o0o°o0o°o0o°o0o°
Epilog : Finally they found out that if they wrap each other in Bonolenov bandages and order to Blinky to suck the water very quickly, they were dragged just like they were water skiing, and if they ask it after to spit it out, they were pushed even faster. They reached the Dark Continent within 24h. They just stopped in an island because of Feitan who due to a childhood trauma can't pee in the water, and they abandoned Hisoka there. He showed up a couple of days after nonetheless, saying he guided his rudder himself, even if, as he will comment later, "it doesn't feel the same."