Wow. Our first ever story together. Silverwing, Needles, Fang and Wolfie
So, just to get things straight.
Ok, so this is exactly what it says on the packet; Sirius commentates every Gryffindor matches at Quidditch, to the hilarity of the students, right from first year.
With Remus and McGonagall
Of course.
Disclaimer: We're not J.K. Rowling. Or Gollum. Or Jar Jar Binks. Or Jabba the Hutt. ;P
First Year - Shut up, Remus
By Silverwing
"GOOD MOOOOORNING HOGWARTS!"
"Mr Black!"
"Oh, sorry, Minnie, didn't see you there."
"Now Black, I'm warning you, don't make me regret this."
"Why would you say that, Minnie?"
"Because most things you do end in a disaster or an explosion."
"Shut up Remus."
"Like that time you were trying to make your eyes change colour because this Hufflepuff girl you liked had said she liked purple eyes, and half the common room was blown to piece-"
"Anyway Remus, let's start with the commentating! Alright, give me a cheer from Gryffindor!"
"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"Gotta love them Gryffindors! Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, show us what you're made of!"
"YEEAAAHHHH!"
"Who are you cheering for anyway? Ah, well. Are the Slytherins going to cheer or hiss? I can never tell."
"WOOOOHOOOOOO!"
"What was that? A baby banshee? A bit pathetic, if you ask me."
"The game is starting, Black!"
"Alright, alright! Gryffindor in possession, passes, heading for the goal… OOOH, blocked by a Slytherin bludger… what's his name again?"
"It's Flint."
"Oh. Well, you see, it's really hard to see who people actually are up there-"
"Slytherin heading for a goal."
"Because they all look the same you see when they're up in the sky-
"He's getting ready for a goal."
"So actually I think-"
"He scores! 10 points to Slytherin."
"WHAT! No way- Minnie, they can't have that! I wasn't looking!"
"Black, start commentating!"
"I am Minnie!"
"Professor McGonagall means relevantly, Sirius."
"Shut up Remus."
"Well soree."
"Gryffindor in possession."
"I'm commentating, Remus."
"Whatever. Prewett in possession, passing to….. Heading for the goal…"
"GET THEM FABIAN!"
"BLACK!"
"What professor? I'm commentating?"
"You would be, Mr Black, if you would actually focus on the game."
"That's why I'm here."
"Shut up, Remus."
"Going for goal…"
"Going for goal…"
"He's only got the Keeper to get round now…"
"He's only got the Keeper to get round now…"
"He shoots…"
"He shoots…"
"Sirius STOP copying me!"
"Sirius stop… wait, what? Well, let me commentate then!"
"I am but you're not doing anything!"
"Gryffindor scores."
"Thanks, Professor."
"YESSSSS! GOAL! TAKE THAT YOU SLIMY SLYTHERINS, TAKE THAT YOU-"
"BLACK! IF YOU CAN'T COMMENTATE UNBIASEDLY…"
"Play resumes, Gryffindor in possession."
"PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN! Actually, professor McGonagall is such a long name - can I call you something else?
"NO, BLACK!"
"Now Slytherin in possession, heading towards the goal."
"Well - what about Minerva?"
"BLACK!"
"Dodges a bludger…"
"Ok, Minnie it is then."
"BLACK - GET BACK TO THE MATCH!"
"Ohhh… almost lost it there! Nice swooping from the Gryffindor Chaser."
"Ok, ok Minnie!"
"CALL ME PROFESSOR, BLACK!"
"Racing up the pitch with the Quaffle…"
"SORRY PROFESSOR MINNIE!"
"BLACK!"
"Can he get past the Gryffindor Keeper?"
"WHY CAN'T I CALL YOU MINNIE?"
"I'M A TEACHER BLACK!"
"And… a brilliant save from the Gryffindor Keeper! Gryffindor now back in possession, racing up the pitch,"
"JUST… GET… BACK… TO… THE… MATCH BLACK!"
"FINE! Keep your wig on!"
"Nearing the goal, OOOHHH…"
"THAT WAS DELIBERATE! FOUL! 100 POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!"
"BLACK…"
"It looks like Prewett fell off his broom! "Ouch… that had to hurt… and the Captain is calling for time out…"
"I still think Slytherin CHEATED."
"Black, all the Slytherin players were miles away from Prewett, now concentrate on the match!"
"I was trying to, but someone kept shouting at me!"
"For Merlin's sake-"
"Anyway, Prewett's standing… he seems to be fine…"
"No thanks to Slytherin."
"For crying out-"
"And play resumes!"
Sorry about the split - we can only upload so many words!