Hermione's POV:
I need to stop this. This rambling... I need everything to shut down for a second. Just a second of piece and quiet... I need to get out of my head
"And your new head girl, Hermione Granger" I hear a snigger in the room, Slytherin table of course. Everybody expected it though, I can't blame them. I try in school. It's my safe haven. Not like home...
"Hermione, go up" Ron urges, and I do as he says. I stand up, a fake grin plastered on my face, nobody can see that I'm not really happy. That I'm slowly dying on the inside. Well, they can... And he doesn't even fucking like you... "Well deserved miss Granger" Snape smiles, and I thank him and take my badge. Standing at the front of the hall, all of those people staring back at me. I don't just see them though, I see those who died in this hall. Still fighting, fighting for the life that was stolen from them by a fucking psychopath.
People over-use that term. I remember once, Lavender screamed at Draco that he's a psychopath. But he's not. Empathy is the key, and though he has little, he still has. He's not a psychopath. He still cares.
"And head boy..." I wonder if we're all going to be surprised here... "Draco Malfoy" "Harry Potter" But of course not, I smirk to myself. And I continue with my fake smile, and I see Harry with his. He's been practising.
I don't want to feel this way, you have to believe me. I so long to be the happy little survivor, but I'm not. No matter how hard I try to be that person, I just can't. And please believe me when I say this, I so long to be happy. I honestly do. And so I'll add that onto my list of can't's. Because right now, it's doubtful that I'll ever be happy.
"You've been practising" I smile to Harry, and he smiles back, a genuine smile. This puzzles me. "That though..." Harry raises an eyebrow and shrugs. We bow and we walk back to our seats showing off our badges as we're expected. We go to sit back on the bench, as expected, but i freeze. "Distraction" i frown as I tug on Harry's robe. He oblidges as I fall to the ground, fireworks erupt in the room, stealing the attention.
They're fighting. On my bench, they're fighting. No-They're fucking killing each other. On my bench. "Hermione come on! We have to go" "Help me, please help me" He's going to kill her. He's going to kill my mother. And I'm not even there. I'm not fucking there, and she's going to die. She's going to die again, "Somebody! Please help me" She's going to die. "Hermione now!" I hear, but I can't concentrate, I need to get out of my head.
I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD.