Your afternoon starts out like any other, stretched out comfortably on your favorite rock cluster, looking into the crystal waters as you preen and admire your gorgeous hair. You are so proud of it, look at how lovely it curls when it's dry, look at the violet tints and highlights in it, oh god, just look at how luxurious it is all together.

Contented little chirps slip from your lips as you fluff it and comb your fingers through it, jeez, could you be any more beautiful? You don't think it's possible, not at all. Your tail flips lazy in the air behind you, just as lovely as your hair. You are just a living work of beauty, aren't you?

"Well, aren't you a little vain? Things like that could get you into serious trouble, you know."

You roll your regal violet, pupil-less eyes, ignoring the annoying voice and going back to admiring yourself. Then there is a fucking buzzing noise that makes your tail twitch and you look up irritably. Who the fuck dares interrupt you?

Slowly you look up, your tail lowering. There's nothing there? What?

"People could be triggered by how narcissistic you appear to be."

It's official, you've lost your mind of something. You sit up and bare your fangs, pulling your lips back to reveal how well they stood out against your jet black gums. There's a squeak, then suddenly a bright red blip in front of your face.

"Oh dear me, what big teeth you have. You know someone could get hurt if you aren't careful and that is a very triggering."

To show you annoyance, you gnashed them a bit, just to earn another squeak and the blip to fly up above your head.

"You know, I have heard that people also consider being eaten rather fucking rude and triggering. Just a little fact I picked up."

"Oh my cod, vwhy vwon't you just go awvay? I'm shore there are others you could annoy."

"How am I the annoying one when you practically get off to yourself everyday? You're so noisy that everyone doesn't want to come come close to this area and it is very inconvenient to people who come here to relax and bath."

"They shouldn't be bathing in my vwater then and find somevwhere else to vwash their junk."

You snarled at him, thoroughly annoyed by his annoying chirpy voice. Holy fuck, how is he still talking? He's so tiny, he has tiny lungs, how can he have that much air in him?

He makes an undignified noise and zips back in front of your face to try to get your attention, "Hey, sprite, vwhy don't you go off to your friends and leavwe me alone to my best friend?"

"That statement could be vwery triggering to someone vwho has no friends."

"I'm being triggered by you, oh my cod, buoy!"

"What am I doing that is so triggering to a narcissistic mermaid?"

"Merman!"

"Oh, excuuuse me, I didn't mean to offend someone who cannot tell the difference between a fairy and a sprite."

"Vwell aren't you sassy?"

"I'm sorry, it is a fai-"

"Hey, don't you havwe a swvarm or a ring or something to get back to?"

"A court?"

"Yeah, that."

It makes a little noise, it's wings still beating as it seems to think of a way to answer you. You decide that it isn't so bad, I mean, you admired yourself for a few hours, got some warmth and sun, now you are 'chatting' with an over-talkative fairy. At least one of those fucking nagas didn't come along to drip poison on your for fun again, or at least that fucking faun didn't come along to just stare at your for hours. Jesus fucking Christ, he's so fucking creepy.

You wouldn't have minded if that minotaur with the ripped body came along, though. Holy fuck, and people complain about you getting off to yourself. Just as long as his creepy centaur boyfriend doesn't show up, ugh.

"… -ello? Are you even there? Hey, fins, can you hear me?"

"Huh? Yeah, cheif, vwhat's up?"

"I was telling you about the harpies that have taken that have taken my father, my brother, and I in. You were drooling on yourself. And that was what was happening in the land of the living while you were daydreaming."

"Vwait, the harpies? Awv hell yeah, normally you hear about harpies being so ugly your face melts off, but the harpies here? I'd gladly let them scratch oiut my eyes for a night vwith them if they vwanted."

"… Charming."

The absolute disgust in his voice is entertaining, "Hey, this is my spot to do as I please, don't get your knickers in a twvist because I'm stating my ovwn opinion and personal fantasies. I guess you shouldn't havwe vwent out a your vway to bother me."

His tiny face gets all red and he dives into another rant

What the fuck is up with all the red anyways? He's a flying, talking cherry. You just completely ignore him, glancing back in the water to flirt with yourself and stroke your beautiful scales before you would have to head home.

He flits in front of your face and you groan, making a little snarling motion at him, which doesn't phase him in the slightest.

"I was talking, you know, it's rather-"

"Triggering? I vwas hoping for that. Vwell, you see, little pix-"

"Fairy."

"-Fairy, right. Anyvways, I must take my leavwe. 'm drying out and I havwe to be back before Triton throwvs a fit. So touchy. I'll be here again tomorrowv if you vwant to rant, and I'll accept any lovwe confessions later," you winked just to watch him get flustered as you slipped off the rock and under the water.

You have a feeling that you're not going to be so 'alone' during your alone time anymore.